


What is This Feeling?

by Cnhedges



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 102,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cnhedges/pseuds/Cnhedges
Summary: Quinn's pregnant when she realizes that she loves Rachel. Rachel has some self damaging issues that make her think that she isn't worth being loved. Warning: Deals with self mutilation.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first story written way back in 2010. 
> 
> Just posting it on this site so I have it. 
> 
> Enjoy.

"Karofsky!"

The hockey player whipped around. Quinn took pleasure in his terror, knowing that other than Santana, she was the most terrifying person at McKinley.

"Give me that slushie, now!" Quinn snapped at him.

She grabbed the slushie out of his hands before he had a chance to object and stormed off. Quinn couldn't remember the last time she was this angry. She had just witnessed Finn making out with that annoying Rachel girl when she passed by the choir room. She hurried down the hall until she saw who she was looking for. Without even a second thought, she ran up to the tiny brunette and threw the slushie all over her.

"Listen up, treasure trail! If I ever see you kissing my boyfriend again, not only will I destroy you, I will sic Santana on your ass. I am pregnant with his kid and he is mine. Do you understand me?" Quinn yelled at the now terrified starlet.

"Quinn, I-I…"

Quinn turned around and ran off before she even gave Rachel a chance to say anything back. She marched back down the hall, this time searching for Finn. She wasn't about to let this idiot make a fool out of her in her school. She saw his tall head over the rest of the other students in the hallway.

"Finn!" she yelled to get his attention.

He whipped around with a frightened look on his face. Quinn enjoyed his terror more than anyone probably should.

"What's up, babe?" Finn asked

"Don't babe me, you prick. I saw you kissing that thing in the choir room earlier. How can you be so dumb? You would choose Manhands over me? Are you seriously that stupid?"

Finn opened his mouth to answer, but Quinn cut him off.

"Actually don't answer that! You are that stupid. Do it again and you will regret it. Understand me? Good."

Without another look, Quinn stormed off to find Brittany and Santana.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel couldn't believe her face and hair were full of purple corn syrup again. She wasn't going to let herself cry though. Well, at least not until she made it to the bathroom. She grabbed her bag of extra clothes and towels and walked to the closest bathroom. The bell rang as she was opening the door. At least there wouldn't be anyone around to disturb her.

She looked at herself in the mirror and saw the tears forming in her eyes. She started to clean herself up like she had done since she was in training bras. After one last look in the mirror, she put on her lip gloss and smiled at herself. She quickly grabbed her books and headed off to her Algebra class.

"Miss Berry, nice of you to join us," Mrs. Anderson said as she glared at Rachel for coming into class late, again.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Anderson, I had something I needed to take care of." Rachel said as she took her seat in front of Finn.

She took out her notebook to take notes when she felt a finger poke her in the back. She turned around and saw Finn holding a folded piece of paper out to her. She smiled as she took it. Rachel looked at the teacher before opening it.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a little slushie. Nothing new." Rachel wrote back.

"Was it Karofsky? I'll kick his ass."

Rachel smiled as she read those words.

"No, it was Quinn. She saw us in the choir room and she is pissed. She said I have to leave you alone or she will sic Santana on me. It's ok though, I don't think she will actually hurt me."

"She yelled at me too. You don't know Quinn that well and definitely not Santana if you think they won't actually hurt you. I can't let that happen. We can't do anything anymore. We have to go back to being just friends. I'm sorry, but she is pregnant with my kid and it's not fair to you or her for us to be anything but friends."

Rachel's eyes teared up for the second time that day as she read Finn's words. The bell rang and she ran out of the room without looking at Finn.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, bitch!"

Quinn turned around and looked at her two best friends who had just walked into the cafeteria.

"S, I'm really not in the mood." Quinn said in an exasperated voice.

"Not in the mood for what?" Brittany looked at her girlfriend, clearly confused.

"Never mind, B, Quinn is just in a bad mood. What's wrong, Q?" Santana asked, genuinely concerned as her and Brittany sat down at Quinn's table. "Is everything ok with the baby?"

Quinn couldn't help but smile at Santana. She loved that while Santana was a colossal bitch to pretty much everyone, she was always someone that Quinn could rely on whenever she was upset. Even though Santana could pretty much kick anyone's ass, she actually was a really kind person.

"No, Santana, the baby is fine. Look, I really don't want to talk about it. How are you guys doing?"

"I'm good. Santana is going to take me to see the ducks after school." Brittany said with a huge grin on her face. She then leaned over to Quinn's ear and whispered "I'm more excited to make out with her. She says we can't kiss at school, so I have to wait until school's over."

Quinn laughed as Santana turned bright red.

"Brittany, Q doesn't want to hear about that." Santana said, still blushing.

"Please, S, I have pretty much been witnessing the 2 of you having sex since like 7th grade. I think you should be more embarrassed about that instead of a little making out." Quinn laughed as Santana's eyes got bigger.

"Ok, new subject please. Q, seriously, what is wrong? I know something is up. So you can tell me now or you can tell me later, because you know I'm going to get it out of you."

"Ugh, fine. It's Finn. I saw him making out with Stubbles earlier. I was really pissed, but now I'm just hurt. I mean, I get that I'm pregnant and everything, but I'm still hotter than that thing. Right?" Quinn could fill her eyes filling up with tears. She only ever let herself cry around Santana and Brittany. They knew the real her just like she knew the real them.

"You are so pretty Quinn. Even prettier than all the rainbows in the sky."

"Thanks, B." Quinn said as she looked a little quizzically at Santana.

Santana just rolled her eyes. "Q, listen, You are carrying his spawn. You and he will always be linked. Manhands just wishes she could have a connection with him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kick her ass for even considering trying to steal him from you." Santana got up to leave, but Quinn grabber her wrist.

"Just leave it alone, S. I'm too tired to deal with this for now. Just let it go and I'll let you know if it happens again."

"Geez, Quinn. What's up with you? Why are you protecting her"

"I already threw a slushie in her face and threatened her. I think that's fine for now."

Santana just glared at Quinn

"Why the hell are you being so soft about this? Usually you would be a total bitch, threatening her every second of every day until she is completely and totally terrified. "

"I don't know. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones. I told her that if I caught her again, that I would sic you on her. I think that's threatening enough. Just leave it for now. I just don't have the energy today. Ok, S?"

Santana looked at her girlfriend and then at Quinn before agreeing.

"Fine, Q. Just let me know when you change your mind. You know I will gladly knock that midget down a few pegs. Come on, Britt, we are going to be late for class. Bye, Quinn."

"Bye, S. Bye, B."

Brittany gave Quinn a hug and both girls walked out of the cafeteria.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel tried so hard to stop the tears from flowing as she walked to her locker. She opened it and stuck her head in trying so hard to just disappear. She just wanted to be with Finn and he didn't want to be with her. She heard the warning bell ring and she sighed. After wiping her tears she pulled her books out of her locker and shut the door. As she turned around, she felt the cold rush of a slushie hit her face. It felt like a thousand knives. She opened her eyes to see a red cheerleading uniform storming down the hall. The tan legs and dark haired girl was holding an empty slushie cup. Santana.

"Great," Rachel thought. "Quinn told her."

Rachel turned back to her locker and grabbed yet another set of clothes and headed to the nearest bathroom as the bell rang. She looked in the mirror at her red stained face this time. 2 slushies in one day? That hadn't happened to Rachel in a long time. Sure, she got a slushie in her face at least 3 times a week, but it was rare for her to 2 in one day. She quickly cleaned her face up as well as she could with her shoulders trembling. Rachel couldn't handle it anymore. She fell to the floor sobbing. She knew she had brought this on herself. She knew better than kissing Finn, but she just couldn't help it. He just looked so good today. Now he didn't even want to be around her. Quinn, Santana and most likely Brittany were out to get her and everyone else in the school hated her.

Rachel grabbed her backpack off the sink and sat back down. She dug around the pockets until she found what she was looking for. Rachel looked at the razorblade for a second before she placed it on her left wrist and pushed down. She drug it across her skin as the tears flowed. She repeated the process 2 more times before she stopped. She looked down and saw 3 identical cuts across her wrist. She felt a little better but not much. She pulled out the peroxide and band-aids out of her backpack and cleaned up the cuts. Then she took out the watch she had bought just for this purpose. It had a thick pink band and covered the cuts with ease.

She stood up and quickly cleaned up the rest of her clothes. She changed into her third outfit for the day and headed out the door. She thought about going to her Chemistry class but just couldn't make her feet walk that way. She headed instead into the choir room. There was no music class this period so the room was silent. She closed the door and sat down at the piano and started to play. Before long, though, she was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

"Rachel?"

Rachel quickly spun around at the sound of Mr. Shue's voice. She hadn't heard the door open.

"Are you ok?" He asked, clearly concerned.

"Shouldn't you be teaching right now?" Rachel asked, suddenly afraid she would get into trouble for skipping class.

"I heard someone playing the piano and just wanted to see who it was. Are you crying? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I have to go."

With that, Rachel tore out of the classroom and didn't look back at her confused Glee teacher.


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn felt relieved when she finally heard the bell signaling that school was out for the day. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about Finn and Rachel kissing since she had witnessed it. She couldn't quite figure out what she was so upset about. Yeah Finn had cheated on her with Rachel, but hadn't Quinn done worse? She had slept with Puck and was now carrying his child. To top it all off, Quinn was lying to Finn about being the dad. Even so, she still couldn't believe Finn cheated on her. She was mad, sure, at the beginning, but now she wasn't even a little bit mad. That was the problem though, she couldn't figure out why she wasn't mad. She didn't even really love Finn. She didn't even want to be with him. She would have already broken up with him, had she not needed him for the whole paternity thing.

Quinn made her way out to her car, absent mindedly looking for Santana and Brittany. She needed to talk this whole thing out so she could figure out what she was feeling. After looking around for a few minutes, she remembered that Brittany had said something about going to the duck pond after school. She decided to give them an hour or so before she would head over to the Latina's to talk to them. She passed by a lime green bug that she knew belonged to Rachel. She involuntarily looked over at the car and saw Rachel sobbing. Quinn felt her heart tug and she got butterflies in the stomach.

"What the hell?" Quinn thought as she felt these emotions. She pushed them back and just assumed they were baby hormones. "I guess I should make sure she is ok."

Knock knock knock.

Rachel's head snapped up and looked at Quinn. She rolled down the window.

"What do you want?" Rachel snapped at the cheerleader.

"Look I just wanted to make sure you're ok. I know I yelled at you earlier and I'm sorry. I was just mad. The truth is, I don't even really want to be with Finn." The words spilled out of Quinn's mouth before she could stop them. "I mean, uh, just don't do it again, Stubbles!" With that Quinn got into her own car and sped off.

"What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I being to nice to her? I hate her." Quinn said out loud to herself.

She headed home to grab something to eat. The baby was starving and it was making Quinn miserable. She made a sandwich and sat down at the kitchen table. Quinn was happy that her parents weren’t home. Her dad was at work, of course, and her mom was at some sort of fundraiser meeting. They wouldn't be home until late. Quinn liked it that way. The less she had to lie about being pregnant, the better. She knew her parents would burn her like a witch when they found out.

She finished her sandwich and looked up at the clock. 4pm. Perfect she thought. She knew Santana and Brittany would be home by now. If she headed over there, she would be able to talk to her best friends before the Lopez's got home from work.

She arrived at the Lopez house less than 10 minutes later. She had tried calling both Santana and Brittany's phone with no answer. Quinn really needed to talk to them so she figured she would just go over without telling them she was coming.

She knocked on the door. No answer. She tried the door. It was unlocked. She stuck her head in.

"Santana? Brittany?" Quinn called. No answer. She walked the rest of the way. She could hear the moans coming from Santana's bedroom upstairs. Clearly the girls didn't shut the door before they started having sex. She heard Santana let out a very load moan and Quinn could feel herself getting wetter. She was amazed at how wet Santana could still make her just by hearing her. Quinn swore it was Pavlovian. Her body was trained to get wet and aroused just by hearing Santana. Quinn and Santana had lost their virginities to each other last year. They continued sleeping together for a few months after until Santana realized she was in love with Brittany, which was completely fine with Quinn. She loved Santana but only as a friend and felt absolutely no jealousy towards Brittany.

Quinn could feel herself getting more aroused by the second. She desperately needed a release. She could hear Santana getting louder as Brittany most likely stuck her fingers inside of the Latina. Quinn quickly sat down on the couch and lifted up her cheer skirt. She rapidly pushed down her spanks and started rubbing her clit all while listening to her former lover moan and scream from the other room. She laid back on the couch and got more comfortable. She could feel her juices running down her legs.

"Harder. Faster. Oh god, oh god. Harder. Harder."

Quinn rubbed faster and faster and faster. She could feel herself getting closer to the release she wanted so badly. Quinn bit down on a throw pillow to keep from screaming out. She stuck her fingers into her opening and continued to rub her clit with her thumb.

"OH GOD! Faster Faster. Harder Harder. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come. So close! Faster!"

Quinn did what Santana was screaming. She rubbed her nub harder and faster all while pushing her fingers in and out of herself. She was so close to coming. Just a few more stokes. Just a few more pumps.

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Ahhh!"

Quinn felt her climax at the same time at Santana screamed hers. She laid on the couch for a couple more minutes while she felt the waves of pleasure wash over her. She walked into the downstairs bathroom and cleaned herself up before walking back to the front door. She opened it and then slammed it shut again.

"Santana!" Quinn yelled up the stairs. "Are you home? I need to talk to you."

Santana and Brittany came down the stairs a few seconds later both looking disheveled. Quinn smiled remembering what she had just done.

"What have you 2 been up to?" Quinn smirked.

"Shut up, Q" Santana snapped.

"We've been having sex." Brittany stated confidently.

"Yeah, B, she knows that. She was being sarcastic."

"What?" Brittany looked at her girlfriend with her patented confused look.

"Forget it, baby, I'll explain later." She smiled at the blissfully ignorant blonde. She turned to the other blonde. "What's up Q?"

"I just needed to talk to someone. I just don't know what my deal is. I don't know if it's just pregnancy hormones or what is going on with me."

"B, now that we know it was just Q at the door, why don't you go take that shower you wanted so you can clean me off of you." Santana smiled seductively at her girlfriend. Brittany leaned over and kissed Santana before heading upstairs. Waiting until she was sure Brittany was out of earshot, Santana turned back to Quinn. "Alright, Quinn, talk to me."

Suddenly Quinn wasn't so sure this was a great idea. "Actually, Santana, I have to go." Quinn got up to leave but the brunette grabbed her wrist.

"Sit down and talk to me. We have been best friends our entire lives. We lost our virginities to each other. We know each other's secrets. Talk to me. You know I would never judge you."

"I don't even want to be with Finn. I don't love him. I'm only still with him because of this whole stupid pregnancy thing." Quinn was looking down by this point. For some reason she couldn't look her best friend in the face.

"Well yeah, he knocked you up, he better stay with you." Santana spat.

Quinn looked up a little too fast and stared directly into the Latina's eyes.

"Q, what's wrong?"

"Finn's not the father. Puck is." Quinn's eyes started to fill with tears.

"Oh, sweetie, don't cry." Santana pulled the blonde into a hug. "It's going to all be ok. I promise."

"That's really not what I wanted to talk about, S." She pulled away from Santana and looked at the concern in her eyes. "I got butterflies today, when I talked to a girl. Rachel Berry to be exact." Santana cringed at the name.

"Treasure Trail? Seriously?" Santana asked with pure disgust

"I wasn't mad that Finn cheated on me. I was jealous that his hands were all over her. I didn't even realize it until school was over. I saw her crying in her car and my heart hurt for hurting her. I realized all I wanted to do was kiss her tears away. I don't know what to do. Maybe it's just the baby hormones? I can't like her right? I mean she is a girl. I like guys. Aside from the fun we used to have together, I have had zero interest in a girl. Until now I guess. It's got to be the baby hormones. Right? Like some weird craving?" Quinn was crying hard now. She felt better telling Santana her secrets though. She looked the Latina in her eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"Alright, Q, here is what I think: I know you think you like guys, but I know for a fact you like girls. I remember the way you used to moan my name and how wet you used to get when we would have sex. I know you enjoyed it immensely. You're gay or at least bi. Just deal with it. I've been listening to you talk about how much you love these guys for the past year and I know it's bullshit. I know you, Quinn. As far as this Rupaul thing goes, while I think she is the most annoying person in this school, she dresses like an idiot and I can't really stand to be around her, I can see how much she means to you. I have seen you stare at her without even realizing it. So if you really think you like her and want to be with her, then I will help you." Santana said.

"Help her with what?" Brittany asked. Santana and Quinn hadn't even heard her come down the stairs.

"Nothing." Quinn said.

"Quinn likes Rachel Berry." Santana said. Quinn just looked at her. "What? You know I can't lie to Brittany. Besides, maybe she can help."

"Fine. Tomorrow is Friday. Maybe you guys can start with whatever you have planned on Monday?" Quinn half asked, half told.

"Ok, sounds good. Oh and Q? You secrets are safe with me. Well with the exception of what I tell Britt." Santana hugged her friend again.

"Thanks, Q." With that, Quinn got up and went home. She had a lot to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

After Quinn yelled at her in the parking lot, Rachel cried for another 20 minutes before she put her car in drive and headed towards her house. She got the mail on the way into her house. All bills she noticed. Nothing for her. Again. She always secretly hoped her birth mom would write to her. In the back of her mind, she knew that she wouldn't hear from her, but that didn't stop her from hoping.

"Hey dad." Rachel said as she passed her dad's office on the way to the kitchen to grab a snack.

"Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?" Her dad, Hirum, asked. He was a lawyer and worked from home at least one day a week.

"It was good." Rachel lied. She was usually honest with her dads, but she just couldn't deal with anything today. "I'm going to go watch a movie in my room. What time is daddy getting home?"

"Around 6ish, so dinner will be at 6:30. Anything specific you want to eat?"

"Um, how about lasagna? We haven't had that in a while."

"Ok, Rach, sounds good. I'll call you when dinner is ready if I don't see you before then."

Rachel thanked her dad, grabbed a bowl full of fruit and headed up to her room. Rachel had always loved her room. She had a giant gold star on the door leading inside. Her walls were painted yellow and she had a queen-sized four poster bed. Her room had once been two rooms, but her dads had knocked down a wall when she was born, so now her room was huge and she loved it. She grabbed Funny Girl off her DVD shelf and put it in the player. She grabbed the remote off her night stand and laid down on her bed. Rachel turned on the movie and tried to push all the pain out of her brain from the day. Before she knew it, she was being woken up by her daddy, LeRoy.

"Rachel, honey, wake up. It's time for dinner." LeRoy said to his daughter.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked up at her daddy. He had a soft spot when it came to his daughter. Rachel knew this and always went to him when she needed something. He was a doctor, but his family came first and he was home for dinner every night.

"Hi, daddy. I'll be down in a few minutes."

LeRoy kissed his daughter and left her room. Rachel got up and looked at herself in the mirror. She went into the bathroom and removed her pink watch. The band-aids had been soaked through with blood so she took them off, cleaned the cuts and put new band-aids on. She looked at the scars that were already on her wrist from previous bad days and it made her hurt. She returned the watch to its previous position, put a smile on her face so her dads would believe she was happy and then went downstairs to eat.

"Hello dad, daddy." Rachel said to her fathers. "How was work today?"

"Same as usual for me." Hirum said.

"Same here," LeRoy said. "How was your day, sweetie? I notice you are wearing a different outfit then you left the house in. Did one of the kids at school throw a slushie on you again?"

"Yes, I got 2 slushies thrown on me actually. One from Quinn Fabray and the other from Santana Lopez. Both girls are cheerleaders. Don't worry though, I have already written a letter to Principle Figgens to get him to ban slushies. I know he didn't react last time, but hopefully he will realize the error of his ways this time."

Hirum took a bite of his dinner before asking "Why did they throw a slushies on you today?"

"I have no idea, daddy," Rachel said just a little too quickly before taking a giant bite of lasagna so she wouldn't have to talk more. She didn't want to explain to her parents that the slushies were all her fault for making out with the head cheerleader's boyfriend and baby daddy.

"Rachel?" LeRoy said with a bit of warning in his voice.

Rachel knew that tone. "I'm not lying dad, I really don't know why they are mad at me this time."

Rachel wasn't quite making eyes contact with either of her fathers and she knew that they knew she wasn't telling the entire truth, but she also knew that they wouldn't push her for details.

After dinner, Rachel said goodnight to her dads and headed upstairs to go to bed. She hadn't realized how tired she really was until she laid down and feel asleep, without even remembering to set her alarm to get up for school.

"Rachel! Are you up? We haven't heard you moving around this morning." Rachel, sat up very confused at the sound of her dad's voice. She looked at her clock. "Shit!" She thought. I'm late.

"Yeah, dad, I'm up." She heard her dad mumble okay through her door as she tore to her bathroom to take a shower. She only had 15 minutes before she had to leave. "No morning workout today," she thought. She hated missing her workouts. She took off last night's band-aids and got in the shower. She was done in record time. She quickly grabbed her yellow and black plaid skirt out of her closet and matched it with a plain black shirt with black stockings and black shoes. She threw her hair into a messy ponytail, hoping that it looked cute, put her make-up back into her school bag and tore out of the house. She yelled "Bye" to her dad's as the door closed behind her.

She made it to school in record time. Since she ended up being a couple minutes early, she quickly applied her make-up in the car and headed into the building. She walked into her classroom just as the final bell rung. She sat down at her desk silently praising herself for making it to school on time. She reached down to grabbed her notebook out of her bag and she noticed the angry red cuts on her wrist. "Fuck!" she thought as she quickly looked around to make sure no one had noticed. She couldn't believe she had forgotten her stupid band-aids. She couldn't believe she had been that dumb. She quickly reached in her bag to see if there were anymore in there, even though she already knew she had used the last ones the day before. She raised her hand.

"Mrs. Johnson, may I please go to the nurse?" Rachel asked her teacher sweetly.

"Of course, Rachel." Rachel waiting anxiously as her teacher wrote out a nurse pass. She grabbed it and headed to the nurse's office.

"Hi, um, my teacher sent me down here to get a few band-aids for her. One of the kids cut their finger." Rachel lied.

"Sorry, Rachel, but I can only give band-aids to teachers and the students who actually need them. I'm really sorry."

"Damn." Rachel thought before saying "It's ok, thanks though."

Rachel was out of options as she walked back to her class. She knew she was going to have to be very careful to hide that wrist until she could get home after school. She had an uneasy feeling that this was going to be a very long day.


	7. Chapter 7

Quinn was nervous about going to Glee on Friday. Not only would she see Santana and Brittany, but also Finn and Rachel. She really hoped the cheerios wouldn't question her about her revelation the night before. She still wasn't sure what to do about Finn and after laying awake all night, she knew she without a doubt was completely crushing on Rachel.

"Good afternoon, Quinn. How are you feeling today," Mr. Schue asked her, startling her from her thoughts.

"Good, Mr. Schue, a little tired, but good." She answered as she walked into the choir room.

There she was. Rachel was sitting in the back room, completely separated from the rest of the group. She looked beautiful in her yellow and black skirt and her hair in that messy ponytail.

"Damn," Quinn thought, "How did I never realize how much I liked her before?"

She suddenly realized she had been holding her breath. Quinn scanned the room and noticed that Santana, Brittany and Finn hadn't arrived yet. "Perfect," she thought.

She went and sat near Rachel. Not quite next to her but with only one other chair separating them. Rachel turned to her with a terrified look on her face. Quinn felt awful for instilling that much fear in the brunette. Quinn was about to say something with Santana's voice interrupted her.

"Q!"

"Hey guys, I saved you seats." Quinn smiled at her best friends. She saw Santana look from Rachel and then back to herself and Quinn pleaded with the Latina with her eyes. She really didn't want Santana to say anything about the Rachel situation right now.

"Alright guys," Mr. Schue started as Finn walked in the door.

"Sorry, I'm late." Quinn could see Finn look at her. She glared at him and he went and sat down next to Puck.

"We are going to be getting into pairs today as well as for the next week." Mr. Schue said to the group of kids. "I'm going to allow everyone to choose their partners this time. Your assignment is to find a song that can be used a duet. I want everyone to make it fun ok?"

Quinn looked over at Rachel, wondering how to ask her to be her partner. She saw Rachel reach into her bag to grab a pencil and she saw what looked like cuts on the starlets wrists. "No way," Quinn thought as she felt her heart hurt.

"Hey Rachel, do you want to be partners with me?"

Rachel looked at Quinn with absolute terror in her eyes. "Why? You hate me? I really don't want to be set up for some sort of torture from you, so I'll pass on being your partner."

"Please Rachel, I want to talk to you. No set up, I promise." Quinn said practically begging.

"Hey Rupaul, be partners with Quinn or you will regret it. Got it?" Santana spat.

"Uh, ok I guess." Rachel said very warily. Quinn could tell Rachel thought that Quinn was the lesser of two evils. "Well since we hate each other, why don't we do 'What Is This Feeling' from Wicked. Do you know it?"

"Kind of," Quinn said, "And I don't hate you. Not even a little bit," Quinn said quietly. Quinn had been surprised how much it hurt to hear that Rachel hated her.

"Whatever," Rachel snarled back. "Well let's get started. Obviously I'll take the Elphaba role and you can do the Glinda part, since you are blonde and all that." Rachel wasn't really looking at Quinn which made Quinn even sadder.

"Yeah, that sounds good, Rachel." Quinn agreed trying not to sound as sad as she was. "I, um, I'm feeling a little sick, do you think we can work on this after school and maybe this weekend?" Quinn really wanted to talk to Rachel about the cuts she had seen, but she knew this was not the place to do it.

"Yeah, that's fine. I understand and sympathize with your pregnancy symptoms, but I don't take Glee projects lightly and if you think this is going to be a common occurrence and stop us from getting work done, then I'm going to have to find another partner."

"No, it'll be fine, I promise. Besides, everyone else is already paired up. You're kind of stuck with me." Quinn said with a smile.

Quinn looked around the room at all the other pairs of kids: Santana and Brittany were partnered together, but instead of singing, they were just looking lovingly into each other's eyes. Kurt and Mercedes were together, Artie and Tina had chosen to pair up, Matt and Mike were working on a dance in the corner and that left Finn and Puck together. Quinn looked at them sadly, she knew that she was going to destroy their friendship and she felt awful about it.

"Ok Rachel, I will call you in a few hours and I'll come over and we can work on our song. Does that sound good?" Rachel nodded. "Oh, I don't have your phone number." Rachel told her and Quinn typed it into her phone. "Ok, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Quinn walked out of the room followed closely by Santana and Brittany. She could vaguely hear her friends talking while they were walking to their cars, but Quinn's mind was racing.

"What's with the cuts on her wrists. Does she have a cat? Has she ever mentioned anything about any kind of animal living at her house before? Why can't I remember? Maybe I should have paid more attention to her random ramblings. Ok think, Fabray. No, I don't think she has ever mentioned an animal before. Ok so back to the cuts then. She had to have done them herself. Right? But Rachel is the most annoying confident person I know." Quinn thought all of this, surprised that her mind could race that fast.

"Q? Hello? Are you listening?" Santana interrupted the blondes thoughts.

"W-what?," Quinn stuttered.

"Thinking about, Berry, are you? Man, you really are head over heels for her."

"I think it's cute," Brittany said as she smiled at her girlfriend.

"Look guys, I have to go. S, I'll call you tonight." Quinn said and with that she got in her car and drove off.

"Ok, so Rachel is cutting herself. This is bad. Why would she do that? I thought nothing ever phased her. Although, nothing phases Santana and she cut herself a couple times when her parents were going through their divorce last year. I could always talk to Santana and see what she has to say. But it's not fair for me to tell Santana any of Rachel's business. I'll leave that as a last resort. Santana stopped cutting herself. Maybe Rachel has only done it a couple times. Clearly there is more to Rachel than any of us ever thought."

Quinn didn't even realize she had made it home until she was sitting in her driveway. She grabbed her backpack and walked up the stairs to her room. She sat down at her computer desk and pulled up Google. She typed "cutting" into the search bar. Quinn sat and researched self-mutilation for an hour before she picked up her phone and called Rachel.

"Hello," Rachel answered.

"Hey, it's Quinn. I was just calling to see if you were ready for me to come over so we can work on our song. I was thinking I would come over in like half an hour. Does that work for you?" Quinn said a little faster than she meant to.

"Yes, Quinn, that will work. My address is 64 Prescott Road. I will see you in 30 minutes."

With that, Rachel hung up. Quinn quickly took a shower, got in her car and drove over to Rachel's, nervous for what was about to happen.


	8. Chapter 8

"Great." Rachel thought, "Quinn is coming to my house. She is going to sit on my furniture. She is going to find something to use against me at school. She is going to meet my dad's. Oh no! My dad's! They hate her. All they have ever heard about her is that she is mean to me. I just probably warn them so they aren't mean to her when they come home and see her in their house."

Rachel got up from her desk, where she had been working on her homework, and grabbed her cell phone off her bed.

She called her daddy, LeRoy, first. She figured his head was less likely to explode at the thought of his daughter's tormentor in the house.

"Hey daddy! How's work? Any exciting patients today?" Rachel asked in the sweetest voice she could muster.

"Hi, sweetie. Everything is going well here. I'm actually really busy, so can we make this call short? Are you ok? Did you call for any reason or just to chat?"

"Um, well I was calling to inform you that Quinn Fabray will be coming over in about 15 minutes to work on a Glee assignment. My guess is that she will stay for dinner. So I wanted to tell you and dad to be nice. I know she is mean and we aren't friends, but I don't think we should be mean back to her." Rachel said, not entirely sure why she felt the need to be nice to the blonde cheerleader.

"Well I think that is very grown-up, sweetie." LeRoy replied.

"Thanks, daddy. Do you mind telling dad? I don't think he is going to be quite as understanding as you." Rachel asked.

"Yes, I will call him on the way home. We should get there around 6. I will see you girls then. I love you."

"I love you too, daddy. Thanks," Rachel replied and then she hung up the phone.

Rachel went into the bathroom, doctored her cuts, put on her pink watch and walked downstairs. She turned on the tv. "Friends," she thought, "Dad and daddy's favorite show."

She was laughing at Rachel Green's "I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boot boots," when she heard the doorbell ring.

"Guess I better get this over with." Rachel plastered on her best smile and opened the door.

"Hello, Quinn, come in." Rachel said as Quinn stepped over the threshold and into the living room, looking around.

"Your house is very lovely." Quinn said. Rachel could sense the nervousness in the blonde, though she wasn't sure what Quinn had to be nervous about. She always had power over Rachel.

"Would you like a tour?" Rachel asked, since she wasn't sure what to say to the pregnant teenager in front of her.

"I would love that," Quinn smiled.

"Ok well this is the living room, obviously. This is where we watch movies and our weekly tv shows."

"Oh, what are your favorite shows?" Quinn asked, with what sounded to Rachel like genuine curiosity.

"We watch Grey's Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Desperate Housewives and Modern Family together. I also like 90210, Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars."

"Oh, I like One Tree Hill too. It's my favorite show. I'm so glad they renewed it again."

"Yeah me too. I was not happy about that cliffhanger though." Rachel said, smiling at the blonde.

"Me either." They stood in silence for a few minutes before Rachel remembered that she was supposed to be giving Quinn a tour.

"Right, so to your left is the kitchen." They walked into the giant kitchen that was set up with an apple theme. There was a kitchen table with four chairs to the left of the entrance and there were counters and cabinets on all edges with an island in the middle to the right.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" Rachel asked

"No, I'm not hungry, thank you though" Quinn replied and at that moment her stomach growled loudly.

"Quinn, if you are hungry, you can have something to snack on before dinner. You are pregnant and you need to take care of your baby. I know that you have some weird diet for the cheerios, but you need to eat actual food. We have everything you could imagine. What would you like?"

"Um, can I just have a sandwich?" Quinn asked timidly.

"Of course," Rachel said as she opened the refrigerator door and got the turkey and cheese out of the drawer. "Is turkey ok?" Quinn nodded. "What would you like on it?" Rachel asked

"Uh, mustard, please." Quinn said. "I can make the sandwich, really."

"No, you are my guest."

Rachel quickly made the sandwich and handed it to the blonde. Quinn took a bite and smiled.

"Thanks, Rachel. I really appreciate it."

"No, problem."

"Did you say something about dinner later? Does that mean I'm staying?"

"Well only if you want to. You don't have to though." Rachel said.

"No, I want to," Quinn answered really quickly.

Rachel looked at Quinn with a raised eyebrow.

"My parents aren't home for dinner usually, so I just end up making a sandwich or something out of a can. It will be nice to have an actual meal. Thanks."

"I'm really sorry, Quinn. That's really sad."

Quinn looked down and Rachel saw her bite her lip. Figuring it was time to change the subject, Rachel decided to continue the tour.

"Am I allowed to bring my sandwich out of the kitchen?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, Quinn, you don't have to keep food in the kitchen."

Rachel saw Quinn smile and it made Rachel smile too.

"Come on." Rachel walked back out of the kitchen and across the living room. She opened a door on the right. "This is the game room. That is the Wii. We have all the normal games: Rockband, MarioKart, Wii Fit. The washer and dryer are also through that door in here."

"Are you any good at Rockband?" Quinn asked.

"I'm ok with the guitar and obviously the singing, but I suck at the drums." Rachel laughed at herself.

"I've never played. Maybe one day we can?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I guess, next time you are here." Rachel said, knowing full well that Quinn wouldn't be setting foot in the house again. Rachel still couldn't figure out what the blonde's angle was. They weren't friends. Why was she being nice to Rachel?

"So back through the living room is the door that leads to the backyard. There is a gazebo, a few tables and chairs, daddy's garden and a hot tub out there. That's it for the bottom story. Shall we go upstairs?"

"Yeah." Rachel swore she could hear the blonde gulp but pushed the thought away.

When they got to the top story, Rachel turned to the room on the right. This is the other game room. Mostly it's where we work out or play music, but there is also a tv to watch movies.

"You play guitar?" Quinn asked, clearly eyeing the 5 guitars that were propped up on the opposite wall.

"Yes, and piano." Rachel said, not quite sure why she felt shy about that. "Anyways, that is my parents room," she pointed to the room at the end of the hall. "That is the guest room, and this is my room." Rachel pointed to the 2 rooms on the left. One had a giant gold star on the door. "I guess we should get started on the song."

Rachel opened the door and Quinn followed her in. Rachel sat down at her desk and opened her laptop. She looked back up and saw that Quinn was still standing by the door.

"You can sit down you know. The bed is really quite comfortable." Rachel said.

"Right, thanks." Quinn replied looking really nervous.

"Why does she look so scared?" Rachel thought.

"So I figured we could listen to the original song and then we could try it. I already downloaded the music without lyrics so that we would be able to start practicing."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Quinn said. "Which part am I again?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Glinda. She is the blonde witch in the musical. She will have the higher pitched voice in the song."

Quinn nodded her head and Rachel clicked play. Idina and Kristin's voices filled the room. Rachel looked at Quinn and she seemed to be concentrating very hard on what she was supposed to learn.

When the song ended, Rachel handed Quinn the lyrics and they got started on learning the song. 2 hours later, Rachel heard her dad's voice as he yelled up the stairs to them.

"Rachel, Quinn, we are home. Dinner will be in about half an hour."

"Thanks, dad." Rachel yelled back. She turned to Quinn. "Well I think we have made enough of a dent in the project for now. We can pick it up Monday during Glee."

Quinn nodded and Rachel could see that Quinn was relieved to have a break.

"Rachel?" Quinn started, "There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about. It's something I saw today."

"Actually, Quinn, there is a more pressing issue. Can we talk about whatever it is, after dinner?" Rachel asked. She could see in Quinn's eyes that whatever it was, was very important to her.

"Yeah, that's fine I guess. What's the more pressing issue?" Quinn asked with concern in her eyes.

"My dad's don't exactly like you. They know how much you have tortured me and they aren't thrilled with you being here. However, I told them that they needed to be nice to you because even though we aren't friends, I don't think I should be mean to you in return. I just wanted to give you fair warning before we went downstairs." Rachel saw Quinn's face go from concerned to terrified in the blink of an eye.

"I can go then, really. I don't want to upset anyone. I don't blame your dad's for hating me."

"No, Quinn, really, you should stay. You are actually a much nicer person than I ever thought. At least away from school anyway." Rachel saw Quinn smile. "I'm not stupid enough to think that you have forgiven me for Finn and I have no doubt that you will continue to throw slushies at me, but for tonight, we can be civil. Sound good?"

"Yes. I'm really sorry, Rachel." Quinn said looking at the brunette.

"It's whatever, Quinn. Now let's go downstairs and see if my dad's need help with dinner."


	9. Chapter 9

Quinn couldn't believe how nervous she felt at the prospect of eating dinner with the men who were now in the kitchen, especially after Rachel's revelation. Of course they hated her though. Why wouldn't they? Quinn thought about anyone ever laying a finger on the child inside of her and she instantly felt her blood boil. She completely understood the anger the older Berry's had towards her. What she didn't understand, was why on earth she was walking down the stairs with Rachel, to go have dinner with them. Quinn had loved spending time with Rachel. "That's how I ended up in this position," Quinn thought. It made her smile, though, thinking of spending time with the girl she was completely crushing on. She hadn't even realized that they had made it to the kitchen until Rachel's voice ripped her out of her thoughts.

"Quinn!" Rachel practically yelled at her while waving a hand in front of her face.

"Wait, what?" Quinn said as she snapped out of it. She blushed at the thought of Rachel catching her in her thoughts.

"I was saying, this is my dad, Hirum and my daddy, LeRoy. Guys, this is Quinn Fabray." Rachel said, pointing at each person in turn.

"It's very n-nice to meet you." Quinn couldn't believe how hard her heart was beating.

"You, too, Quinn," The shorter of the 2 men said. Quinn was pretty sure that was LeRoy, but she was so nervous she couldn't remember entirely.

It was silent for a few minutes while the blonde and the men took in each other.

"Um, what can we do to help?" Quinn finally broke the silence. It had started to make her uncomfortable.

Quinn saw Rachel's face turn to shock, but just for a second. "Did I really expect any different? I've been awful to her since the day I met her." Quinn thought. That thought sent a pain through her stomach. She decided she preferred the morning sickness feeling to the one that was caused by the thought of hurting Rachel anymore. "Never again," Quinn thought. "Never again will I let anyone hurt her."

"Why don't you girls set the table. We are having spaghetti so we need knives and forks."

Quinn flinched at the word knives but pushed that thought out of her head.

"Quinn why don't you get the placemats and the dishes out of those 2 cabinets over there and I'll get the napkins and silverware." Rachel said as the moved to the drawer on the opposite side of the kitchen. She heard music playing and saw that Rachel had hooked up an iPod to their stereo and Broadway music was now playing across the kitchen.

Quinn opened up on the cabinets that Rachel pointed to and found the placemats. She took them to the table and put them in their place. Next, she went to the other cabinet and grabbed 4 plates and sat them on the table on top of the placemats. She looked up from the table and saw Rachel spinning around to the song. She had heard her singing, but wasn't aware she was dancing, not that she should have expected any less. She started laughing at the sight. Rachel quickly stopped singing and dancing.

"What? Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because, you're cute." Quinn said. It took her a second to realize her slip. "I mean, it's cute that you are the same at school as you are at home. It's nice to know that you are a genuine person." Quinn knew that in no way justified what she had just said, but she also knew that since the brunette wasn't aware of her feelings, that Rachel wouldn't even think anything of it.

"Yeah, well some of us have the ability to not let popularity change us." Rachel's words stung, but Quinn knew they were true. "Explain to me Quinn why you can be so nice when you are at my house, but such a bitch while we are at school."

"Rachel," Hirum warned, "You know we don't use that kind of language."

"Sorry, dad. Well, Quinn?”

"I don't know," Quinn looked down at her feet. "I'm really not a bad person. My parents made me become a Cheerio. I never wanted to hurt anyone; it's just really hard to say no. After a while, it just became who I was. I've never felt comfortable with it though. I promise I'm not going to be mean to you anymore." Quinn could feel the tears in her eyes. She looked up to see Rachel looking at her but Quinn couldn't read her expression.

"Girls, I hate to break up this little moment, but dinner is ready. I think we should take a break from the drama and eat. Sit down, please." Quinn had completely forgotten that they were even there until LeRoy spoke. Quinn liked LeRoy, she could tell he was a very kind man. She wasn't sure about Hirum since he hadn't actually spoken to her, not that she could blame him. She wiped her eyes and sat down where Rachel directed her.

Quinn was used to praying before she ate; however she knew that the Berry's were Jewish, so she decided against it. She waited until Rachel had filled her plate to fill her own. She grabbed a piece of garlic bread and then sprinkled parmesan cheese on her spaghetti. She took a bite. It tasted amazing.

"This is really good, Mr. Berry. Um I mean Mr. Berrys." Quinn wasn't sure how to refer to them, but she knew they had both cooked the meal.

"Quinn, call us LeRoy and Hirum. No one ever calls us by our last names. Not even my patients or Hirum's clients." LeRoy said. Quinn was beginning to wonder if Hirum was ever going to speak to her.

"Right, sorry. So, um, Hirum, what do you do."

"I'm a lawyer." Quinn was expected more, but after a few seconds, she knew that he wasn't going to say anything else.

"Do you like it?" Quinn decided to try again.

"Yes." Hirum answered before he took another bite.

Quinn looked helplessly at Rachel, who just smiled, and then gave up.

"So LeRoy, what kind of medical practice do you have?" Quinn decided that maybe she could get the nicer of the 2 men to talk to her.

"I am a pediatrician, so I deal mostly with kids and teenagers. Which actually leads me to my question for you, how far along are you?"

Quinn felt her eyes get bigger. She knew she wasn't really showing yet.

"I-I-I," Quinn stammered.

"Rachel told us that you are pregnant, Quinn." Hirum said. Quinn was shocked that he spoke.

"Right, of course she did. I'm about 2 months along."

"Do you know what you're going to do with it yet?"

"Daddy," Rachel warned him.

"No, Rach, it's fine." Quinn saw Rachel smile at the sound of 'Rach' and it made her smile too. "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. "I'm not old enough to be a mom, but I don't know if I can actually give her up."

"But you were old enough to have sex." Hirum said.

"Dad!" Rachel practically yelled at Hirum.

"Rachel, do not yell at your dad." LeRoy said in a stern voice.

"No, I'm sorry dad, but this is where I draw the line. You do not get to ask her that." Quinn felt her heart swell as the tiny brunette defended her.

"No, Rachel, really it's ok. I appreciate you defending me, but really it's ok. No, Hirum, I was not old enough to be having sex with him." She made a point to say him since she had never thought she was too young to have sex with Santana.

"So you regret it?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Quinn answered too quickly. Quinn could see the relief in Rachel's eyes. "I just wasn't expecting for the strip to turn pink. I'm not old enough for this."

"What if you hadn't ended up pregnant, would you still regret it sleeping with Finn?" Rachel asked.

"Yes." Quinn answered honestly. Well half honestly since she didn't actually sleep with Finn, but she completely regretted sleeping with Puck, pregnancy or not pregnancy.

No one said anything after that. The only sound coming from the kitchen was the sound of silverware clinking against the plates.

"Can I help with the dishes?" Quinn asked when they were done.

"Yes, why don't you and Rachel clean up? There's some stuff I would like to talk to my husband about," LeRoy said as him and Hirum left the kitchen.

"LeRoy is really nice. I like him a lot. Hirum hates me though."

"Well, what do you expect?" Rachel snapped. Quinn felt her face change as she felt the hurt of Rachel's words hit her like a ton of bricks. "Sorry, Quinn, really. I'm just not used to you being nice to me. I have enjoyed having you here today. Much more than I thought I would. You really are a good person. If I had to guess, I would say that daddy wanted to talk to dad about his behavior tonight."

"Thanks, Rachel." Quinn said as she passed the dish she had just washed to Rachel to dry. "I'm really sorry about the stuff I have done to you. I really wish I could get you to believe that I really am a nice person. I promise that I won't be mean to you anymore. I would like for us to try to be friends." Quinn said as she was washing another dish.

"I would like that too. It would be nice to have a friend. What about Santana?"

"What about her?" Quinn asked as she handed another dish to Rachel.

"Are you going to let her continue to be mean to me?"

"I can't stop Santana from doing anything." Quinn said as she picked up the last dish to clean.

"You're her best friend. Are you seriously telling me that you can't ask her to stop throwing slushies in my face like she did yesterday?"

"She threw one at you yesterday?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, after you did."

"I'm really sorry. I told her to leave you alone. She was just mad that you did something to hurt me. But clearly you can see that I can't control anything she does. I can tell her to be nice, but I highly doubt she will be changing anytime soon." Quinn handed the dish to Rachel.

"Well at least you're trying and that means a lot to me. Thanks." Rachel put the last dish into the drying rack and the girls headed upstairs.

"Do you mind if we work on the blocking for our song, just in case we don't get a chance to the rest of the weekend. I have Cheerios practice next week and I just want to make sure we get everything done in time." Quinn asked as they made their way back up the stairs. The real reason Quinn wanted to finish working on the song was the chance that Rachel would be too furious to speak to Quinn after she brought up the cutting. While Quinn was hoping Rachel would want to talk, she figured anger was probably more likely at this point.

"Wow, I never knew you were so dedicated Quinn. Of course we can continue working." The girls walked into Rachel's room and Quinn sat back down on the bed while Rachel got her laptop off the desk and sat down next to her. Quinn could feel the heat radiating off of Rachel and felt herself get light headed. Quinn could barely concentrate on what Rachel was saying. "Focus," Quinn thought to herself.

"Ok so I figured we could watch a performance on YouTube of Idina and Kristin singing 'What is this Feeling' on Broadway and then use most of their blocking in our performance. How does that sound?"

"You're perfect. I mean, that's perfect," Quinn said. Rachel's perfume was clouding Quinn's thoughts. The girl just smelled so good. Like vanilla and something else Quinn couldn't recognize but she knew she never wanted to be away from that smell.

"Right," Rachel said with a raised eyebrow. She pushed play and the girls focused on the movements of the 2 Broadway Queens in front of them.

"Boo! Ahhh!" The clip finished and the girls got to work.

"Ok so obviously we don't have all the extra students to dance around with us, so we can just come up with stuff for those parts on our own." Rachel said taking control. "So we start off on opposite sides of the room," Rachel got up as she spoke, much to the silent dismay of the blonde.

It didn't take the girls long to get the song blocked out, especially since they were basically just copying the Broadway show.

"Then I scream boo and you scream and jump. We're done." Rachel said. Quinn saw her look over at the clock. "It's only 8:30. Impressive."

"Yeah, I think we did pretty well."

"So now that we are all done with everything, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about earlier? You said it had to do with something you saw. What's up?" Rachel asked looking genuinely concerned.

"Oh, right," Quinn began, "Um, there is a reason I wanted to be partners with you. Well, 2 reasons actually. I don't really know how to bring this up, so I'm just going to come out and say it."

"Wow, Quinn this sounds serious. What is it?"

"I, um, I saw the cuts on your wrist and since you don't appear to own a cat, um, Rachel, I know what you're doing to yourself and you need to stop. You shouldn't be hurting yourself." Quinn watched Rachel's eyes grow as big as saucers before her face changed to anger.

"What the hell? Who the fuck do you think you are?" Rachel yelled. Quinn was shocked as the brunette's language. "We aren't even friends, Quinn! So is this your angle? Get me to confess to cutting myself so you and those stupid Cheerio friends of yours can spread it all over school so people can hate me even more?"

"Hey, Santana and Brittany aren't stupid. Leave them out of this!" Quinn snapped back. "I saw the cuts and I was just concerned, I hate the thought of you doing this to yourself." Quinn said as her voice returned to normal.

"Really? You're concerned about me? Who the hell do you think caused me to do this? When do you think I made these cuts? Yesterday after you and your stupid friend, Santana through slushies on me and you threatened me. After you caught me kissing Finn, your boyfriend who you told me that you aren't even in love with. So seriously, what is your problem. Why do you care so much if I slice and dice on my arm?"

"So you admit you did it. You admit you cut yourself on purpose?" Quinn asked already knowing the answer. "Rachel I'm not going to tell anyone, I just want you to be ok."

"Get out of my house. I was wrong about wanting to be friends with you. You are nothing but a self centered bitch and I never want to speak to you again. GET OUT!" Rachel practically screamed at the blonde.

Quinn felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "I'm sorry," she said before she picked up her bag and walked down the stairs. She saw Rachel's dads sitting on the couch.

"I'm really sorry Mr. Berrys. I didn't mean to upset her. I'm so sorry." Quinn managed to saw before the tears spilled out. She opened the door and walked out. She got in her car and backed down the driveway allowing the tears to spill as she drove.

"Who the hell do you think caused me to do this?" Rachel's words repeated over and over again in her head.

"I did this. I made her cut herself. I was so awful to her." Quinn thought as she beat herself up. She couldn't handle the thought of hurting the girl she wanted to be with more than anything else. Quinn didn't even realize she had arrived at Santana's house until she was in the driveway. She got out of the car and her whole body hurt. She rang the doorbell and prayed she was home. The door opened to reveal Santana's mom.

"Quinn, honey, are you ok?" Mrs. Lopez asked.

"Is S here?" Quinn asked not even bothering to answer the question.

"No, sweetie, she is spending the night at Brittany's. Are you ok? Do you want to come in and talk?"

"No, Mrs. Lopez, thank you though. I'm going to go to Brittany's. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Quinn turned and walked back to her car. She started driving to Brittany's and she started balling again.

"I was wrong about wanting to be friends with you. You are nothing but a self centered bitch and I never want to speak to you again." Rachel's words tore through Quinn's heart. "She hates me. I'm never going to get to be with her. I'm never going to be able to kiss her or hold her." Quinn could feel her whole body trembling by the time she got to Brittany's.

She knocked on the front door and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, Brittany's sister answered the door.

"Quinn, are you ok?" Katie asked. She looked exactly like Brittany, just 3 years younger.

"Where are S and B, Katie?" Quinn asked, again not bothering to answer the question.

"They are upstairs in Britt's room." Quinn stormed passed Katie not even bothering for an invitation into the home. She walked up the stairs and stopped at Brittany's door. She listened for a second to make sure she didn't hear any moans, not that them having sex would have really stopped her at this point. She heard nothing so she knocked.

"Go away, Katie," Quinn heard Santana yell.

"Please open the door, S" Quinn begged.

The door was opened within seconds and Quinn saw Santana and automatically felt safer. She threw her arms around the Latina and started sobbing again.

"Q, sweetie, what's wrong? Q, talk to me." Quinn just kept crying as Santana led her to the bed to sit down.

"Santana, what's wrong with Quinn? What did you do to her?" Brittany asked her girlfriend.

"Nothing, B, I don't know what's wrong with her. Quinn, honey, you have to talk to me. Quinn!" Quinn felt her eyes focus on the Latina, but she couldn't get any words to come out. She could just hear Rachel's words echoing in her mind. She laid down on Brittany's bed and curled up into a ball and kept sobbing. Quinn felt Santana lay behind her and wrap her arm around her protectively. She placed her head on the blonde's shoulder. Brittany laid in front of her and placed her arm around her as well, coming face to face with Quinn.

"Shh, sweetie, it'll be ok. It'll be ok, baby. Don't worry, Q, you're ok now, you're safe. I've got you." Santana all but whispered to the sobbing blonde. She started stroking her ex-lovers hair, knowing that it would calm her down. It always had. Quinn could feel herself falling asleep in both her best friend's arms. She knew she would have to talk to Santana sooner or later, but right now she was just so tired, all the wanted to do was fall asleep with Santana and Brittany's body warmth comforting her. She finally fell asleep with Santana's words still whispering in her ears and Rachel's face filling her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as Quinn left her room, Rachel's anger turned to tears. She sat down on the floor and started sobbing.

"She knows. How could I be so stupid? She is going to tell everyone. I wanted to be friends with her so badly. Why am I not good enough to have a friend?" Rachel thought.

She heard a knock at the door and knew her dads would be coming to find out why Quinn left in such a hurry. Rachel was in no mood to deal with them. Rachel stood up and quickly wiped her eyes.

"Come in," She said as she sat down at her desk and opened her laptop. She started checking her email so she wouldn't have to look her dads in the eye.

"Hey, sweetheart," LeRoy said as they walked into the room. "Is everything ok?"

"We saw Quinn leave and she looked pretty upset. She kept apologizing for upsetting you. What happened?" Hirum asked as they sat down on the bed.

"Nothing, really, it was just stupid teenage drama. I promise. We just got in an argument about how to block our Glee project. She wanted to do it one way and I wanted to do it another. We just ended up saying a bunch of mean stuff to each other. Don't worry, I will call her tomorrow and apologize." Rachel lied to her dads. She just wanted to get them to get out of her room.

"Are you sure you will be ok, honey?" LeRoy asked.

"Yes, daddy, I'm fine. I'm just going to finish checking my email and then I'm going to go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow and work out twice as much since I was too late to work out today."

"Ok, well if you decide you need to talk, you know where to find us. Goodnight, sweetie." Hirum said as he kissed the top of his daughter's head."

"We love you." LeRoy kissed her head as well.

"Goodnight dad, daddy." Rachel said as they left her room.

"Finally," Rachel thought as she went back to hating herself and drowning in her sorrows. She started replaying the scene over in her head again. "She knows. She knows. I'm so screwed. She knows. I actually admitted it to her. I didn't mean to admit it; I was just so scared and mad. I'm such an idiot."

Rachel could feel the tears running down her cheek again. She couldn't handle the hatred anymore. She got up from her desk and walked into her bathroom. She opened one of the drawers and pulled out a razor blade. She lifted up her shirt and pushed down the waistband of her skirt. She stuck the blade on her right hip and pushed down as the tears spilled from her eyes. She hated herself so much. She was so tired of having to pretend she was so happy and confident all the time. She quickly doctored the cut and changed into her pajamas. She was getting into bed when her phone started ringing.

She grabbed the phone but didn't recognize the number. She answered it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Let me in," Santana voice growled into the phone.

"Shit," Rachel thought. She walked downstairs and opened the front door. Santana was standing on the other side looking more pissed than Rachel had ever seen her. She led the Latina into the game room so she wouldn't wake up her parents.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Santana snarled at the Rachel, fists clinched.

"I-I-I-I-I didn't do anything." Rachel stammered.

"Bullshit. Quinn is at Brittany's house right now crying her eyes out. I'm going to ask you one more time. What the hell happened?"

Rachel knew she couldn't tell Santana what really happened, but she knew if she didn't tell some of the truth, Santana would kick her ass.

"We got into a fight. She pried into my personal life and I yelled at her. She was pretending to care about me, but I knew she was just getting information so you three could use it against me."

"So let me get this straight," Santana started, "Quinn was showing you that she cares about you and you yelled at her?"

"She was just getting information to use against me." Rachel snapped then recoiled, afraid that Santana would really hit her. "Please don't hit my nose."

"Quinn wasn't getting information to use against you. I may think you are the most annoying person in our school, but Quinn would never use anything personal against you."

"How do you know that?" Rachel asked, still very wary of Santana.

"She is my best friend. I know her better than anyone. You are just going to have to trust me."

"Trust you? You came over to my house to kick my ass." Rachel said.

"Yeah and I will if you hurt her again. Got it?" Rachel nodded. "Good." With that, Santana stormed out of the house.

Rachel sat down on the couch that was in the game room. She hadn't realized she was shaking until she went to put her head in her hands.

"Damn." Rachel thought. She got up from the couch and went and locked the front door. She didn't want Santana to come back without warning and strangle her in her sleep. Rachel walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. She downed half of it before she stopped to take a breath. The brunette finally got the shaking under control. The cut on her hip was throbbing. She knew she had gone much deeper than she meant to and that it would be hurting for days to come. She grabbed some Advil out of the cabinet to try to dull the pain a little. She turned off all the lights downstairs before she went upstairs. She climbed into bed and winced as she laid down on her right side. She quickly turned over and tried to force herself to go to sleep. After 30 minutes of trying to sleep, Rachel was near tears again. She kept picturing Quinn's face. "She looked so hurt when I said we weren't friends," Rachel thought, "But she knows. I can't be friends with her if she knows about the cutting. I just can't. At least Santana said that Quinn wouldn't use any of it against me." Rachel didn't believe the Latina, but something in her eyes told her to at least try to trust her, so that's what she was going to try to do. Rachel was finally starting to feel the weight of the day. She rolled over to get comfortable and was reminded of the pain in her hip. She quickly flipped back over and finally drifted off to sleep with Quinn's face filling her head.


	11. Chapter 11

Quinn kept drifting in and out of sleep that night. She felt Santana get off the bed and Quinn got very cold. She had never bothered to get under the covers and now that the Latina had gotten up, Quinn was quite chilly. She could hear S and B talking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She heard the bedroom door close and she snuggled closer to Brittany trying to get warm again. Quinn had finally fallen back to sleep when she heard the bedroom door open again and she felt the bed sink down as Santana climbed back in. She felt Santana wrap her arm back around Quinn. Quinn loved the warmth and she snuggled closer to the brunette. She felt the bed shift again as Brittany got out of bed and she felt the bed sink again as Brittany go back in, this time on the other side of Santana. She knew that Brittany couldn't sleep well unless she was snuggled up with her girlfriend. Quinn shifted again so that she could be closer to the Latina and finally was able to fall asleep again.

Quinn woke up again and it was daylight outside. She lifted her head up to look at the clock on Brittany's nightstand. 6:47 am. She groaned and laid back down. Her head was throbbing thanks to all the crying from the night before. She lifted her head up again to look over and Brittany and Santana. Brittany was on her side curled up next to her girlfriend with her arm wrapped around the Latina. Santana was on her stomach with her arm around Quinn but her head was turned into Brittany's hair.

Quinn laid her head back down again and started to replay the events in her head from the night before. She felt a tug at her stomach and thought it was from her guilt from everything that happened. It took her a second before she realized it was the baby. She tore towards Brittany's bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time. She heaved until her stomach was completely empty. Quinn could feel the tears in her eyes and she learned over to retch again. She felt a hand on her back and looked over to see Santana. Quinn leaned back against the wall and Santana wiped the blonde's hair out of her face. The Latina flushed the toilet and sprayed the air freshener she had under the sink.

"You need to brush your teeth, Q," Santana said as she grabbed Quinn's toothbrush out of the holder. All 3 girls had a toothbrush at each of their houses since they spent so many weekends together. She put toothpaste on it and handed it to Quinn. The blonde got up long enough to rinse her mouth and then she sat back down against the wall. Santana sat down next to her friend and grabbed her hand. She laced their fingers.

"Alright, Q, tell me what happened?"

"I can't tell you. The stuff we fought about is information I can't tell you." Quinn looked down at her hands.

"Why not, Quinn? You can tell me anything."

"I know that, but this stuff isn't my secret to tell. Besides, I don't want you using anything against Rachel. I know you and I know the second she does something to piss you off, you will spread it around the school." Quinn looked Santana directly in the eyes as she said this.

"How about a secret for a secret?" Santana bargained. "I'll tell you one of my secrets and if I mention the Rachel thing to anyone, you can tell my secret. Deal?"

"Yeah, deal. What's your secret?" Quinn asked as the girls shook hands.

"I slept with Puck."

"Yeah he has slept with just about everyone, why is that such a big secret?" Quinn asked, not understanding where this was leading.

"I was already with Brittany." Quinn could feel her eyes growing bigger.

"What? When? How? I've never seen anyone more in love then you are with her." Quinn said.

"It was last year after B and I got in that huge fight."

"Yeah, I remember that fight. I've never seen you guys that hurt and angry." Quinn got up to get a glass of water, sat back down and re-laced her fingers with her friends.

"Yeah, it was awful. Anyway, I ran into Puck that night. I was trashed and upset and he was there. The next thing I knew he was inside of me. I don't really remember much about that night, but I do remember he wasn't very good." Quinn smiled as Santana said this. "He was very selfish in the bed department. It didn't really matter though; all I wanted was Brittany back. Anyway, we made up and I never mentioned the Puck thing because I didn't want to lose her again. I don't think I could handle that."

"Don't worry, S, your secret is safe with me." Quinn squeezed the Latina's hand and she swore she could see tears in her friend's eyes.

"Alright, Q, it's your turn to talk. Tell me what happened."

Quinn wasn't sure whether she should be telling Santana Rachel's secrets but she needed to talk to someone.

"She's been hurting herself." Quinn couldn't meet Santana's eyes.

"What do you mean? What is she doing?"

"Cutting. She has been cutting herself."

"Quinn, honey, look at me." Santana lifted Quinn's chin up so she could meet her eyes. "Tell me how you know this."

"I saw the cuts on her wrist yesterday in the choir room." Quinn could feel the tears forming in her eyes again.

"Ok, well we will get back to how we are going to fix that in a second, first tell me what happened last night."

"Well, I went over to her house yesterday to work on our Glee assignment and we actually had fun. I really like her dad's. They are really nice. Well one of them doesn't really like me, but that's not really the point. Anyway, I told her I knew about the cutting. I just wanted her to talk, I wanted her to stop." Quinn felt the tears roll down her cheeks.

Santana wiped the tears off the blondes face. "Wait, so you confronted her about her cutting? Quinn, I know you like her, but she doesn't know that. All she knows is that you are mean to her. What made you think she would actually talk to you about this?"

"I don't know. I was just stupid I guess. She yelled at me. She told me I was the reason she did it and that she didn't want to be my friend or ever talk to me again. She thought that I was trying to get information to use against her."

"Yeah, that's what she said to me last night too." Santana said.

"Last night? When did you talk to Rachel last night?" Quinn looked Santana right into her deep brown eyes.

"I went over there after you fell asleep. I wanted to know what she did to you."

"Santana Maria Lopez! What were you thinking?" Quinn snapped.

"That my best friend was in pain. You were in more pain that I have seen you in, in a long time. I was not just going to sit back and allow that to happen. So I went over there and had a little chat with her."

"How do you even know where she lives?"

"I got her number and address from your phone." Santana said.

"Of course you did."

"Yeah, well, you know me." Santana smirked.

"Right. Look, Santana, I know you don't like keeping things from Brittany, but you can't tell her about Rachel's cutting. I love Britt, I really do, but she isn't the best at keeping secrets."

"I won't tell. But, Q, we need to do something." Santana said as shifted a little but keep their hands together.

"Can I ask you something?" Quinn asked her friend, not knowing if this was going to be going to fair.

"Anything."

"Why did you do it?"

Santana look confused. "Do what?"

"Cut yourself. I remember you doing it last year, when your parents were going through their divorce."

"I was upset and hurting. There was something about the physical pain making the pain on the inside less intense. When you are hurting that much and you cut yourself, you focus on the pain in your wrist so you stop thinking about the pain in your heart. It helps you know you are still alive because when you are that upset, you can become numb to everything else. It only makes you feel better for a little while and then you are back to hating everything again."

Quinn took in Santana's words and thought everything over.

"She told me that I was the reason she did it. I caused her that pain, S. It's my fault." Quinn's voice broke on the last word and she started sobbing again.

Santana wrapped her in another hug. "Quinn listen to me. You didn't cause Rachel any of this pain. I'm not saying that you didn't have anything to do with it, but I am telling you that whatever Rachel is dealing with, goes a lot deeper than you yelling at her and throwing a slushie in her face. Okay? None of this is your fault, sweetie."

"Can we just go back to sleep, please?" Quinn looked up at Santana. "I just want to sleep."

"Ok, come on." Santana grabbed Quinn's hand and led her back over to the bed. Quinn laid down on her back and Santana laid down next to her, wrapping her arm around the blonde protectively. Quinn couldn't help but smile at the fact that Brittany was still completely out of it. Quinn fell asleep almost immediately.

Rachel was sitting on the ground crying. Quinn was trying so hard to get to her. She kept running and running but she wasn't getting any closer.

"Rachel!" Quinn kept screaming but she couldn't get the girls attention. She just kept sobbing on the ground.

Quinn sat up screaming Rachel's name. It was enough to jolt her out of her dream. She looked around out of breathe and saw that the room was empty. Santana and Brittany were gone. Quinn looked over at the clock and saw that it was noon. She knew she needed to get up and go home. She hadn't even told her parents where she was.

"They haven't even called." Quinn thought sadly. Quinn had always wished she could move in with Santana and forget her parents. It had been so much worse since her sister went off to college 2 years ago. She wasn't quite sure when her parents stopped caring about her, but she knew they had.

She got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, sprayed on some of Brittany's perfume and grabbed her deodorant she kept there out of the cabinet. She quickly applied it and then headed downstairs. She was greeted by Katie.

"Glad to see you are doing better, Quinn!" Katie was always so cheerful and it drove Quinn crazy most of the time.

"Thanks, Katie. Where are the girls?"

"I think they are in the backyard." Katie said as she walked away.

Quinn walked outside and saw the girls sitting on the bench swing, their limbs entangled but for once they were making out. Brittany's head was lying on Santana's shoulder as the Latina talked. Even thought Quinn knew that Santana would keep Rachel's secrets, she still felt herself panic a little. She walked over to the girls who stopped talking and looked up at her.

"Sorry about ruining your night guys, I know you wanted to be alone."

"It's no big deal, Q. I promise." Santana said and she smiled at the blonde.

"It's ok, we will just have sex tonight instead." Brittany said with a giant smile on face.

"Right," Quinn said as she glanced at Santana who had turned bright red. "Seriously, S, I am telling you again to stop being embarrassed about having sex with your girlfriend. I know how much you love her." Quinn said thinking about the secret Santana had told her about Puck.

"Yeah, I really do." Santana kissed her girlfriend and smiled.

"Well, I will let you get back to that; I'm going to head home. Thanks for everything, S."

"Anytime. Call me later and we will talk some more. We will come up with a plan, don't worry." Santana said, her features turning serious.

"No plans, S. It's not my place. I have to let it go for now. Thanks though. Thanks, B for letting me crash last night. Bye guys."

Quinn heard Brittany ask what they had been talking about but Santana silenced her questions with a kiss and Quinn knew the secret was safe for now.

Quinn walked back through the house and grabbed her purse. She waved bye to Katie and walked out to her car.

She walked inside her house less than 10 minutes later. She loved living in a small town. She walked to her room without saying hello to her parents. She put in a movie and laid down in bed. That is how Quinn spent the rest of the weekend. She alternated between movies and TV shows on DVD all while thinking about Rachel and the pain she caused the tiny starlet.

Monday morning came way too soon for Quinn's liking. She debated not going to school, but she knew she had to. She got out of bed, threw her up in a pony tail and put on her Cheerios uniform. She dabbled on little makeup and drove to school without eating breakfast. She hadn't even made it through first period before her stomach started growling. She felt bad because she knew she was hurting her baby girl and that thought caused her more pain than she could handle.

"Mr. Morris? May I please go to the bathroom?"

After he said yes, Quinn walked out of the classroom and straight to Mr. Schue's Spanish class.

"Um, Mr. Schue?" Quinn asked as she stuck her head in the door.

"Quinn, is everything ok?" He asked.

Quinn saw Rachel out of the corner of her eye. "Can I talk to you for a second? In the hallway?" Quinn saw Rachel start to panic but Quinn had no way to tell the girl that this had nothing to do with her.

They walked out into the hallway and Mr. Schue immediately started with the questions. "Are you ok? Is it the baby? What's wrong."

"Mr. Schue, please calm down." Quinn smiled. "I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I skipped breakfast this morning and now I'm starving and I don't want anything to hurt my baby and since you are the only adult who knows I'm pregnant, I didn't know who else to go to."

He laughed. "Ok Quinn, go to Mrs. Pillsbury. She knows you are pregnant and she will get you something to eat. I would but I can't leave this class for too long. Aside from Rachel, they are all pretty bad at being good without supervision."

"You told Mrs. Pillsbury I'm pregnant?" Quinn said.

"That's really not important. Don't worry, she can't tell anyone anything since she is the guidance counselor. Now go." He walked back towards his door.

"Thanks, Mr. Schue." She smiled at him as he opened the door and went back into his class.

She went down to Mrs. Pillsbury's office. The red head got her something to eat and even let her hang out with her in the office until the bell rang to signify the end of 1st period. She said thank you and then went back to her class to get her things. She was on her way to her locker when she saw her. Rachel was at the other end of the hall headed straight for her.

"Quinn!" Rachel yelled down the hall and Quinn stopped.

"Did you tell him?" Rachel asked.

"No, Rachel. I told you I wouldn't. Your secret is still safe." Quinn responded.

"Good." Rachel stared at Quinn for a few more seconds before she walked away. Quinn saw her grab her hip and wince in pain, but decided to let it go.

"It's not my place," Quinn thought and it took every ounce of strength she had to turn around and not go after the girl to make sure she was ok.

It was Wednesday before she saw Rachel again. Quinn had just walked into the choir room for Glee practice and she saw the brunette talking to Artie, Mercedes, Tina and Kurt. Quinn walked passed them and went and sat down next to Brittany and Santana.

"Alright, guys. Today we are going to start out duets. Rachel, Quinn, you're up first."

"Mr. Schue, I don't think we can perform today," Rachel said.

"Did you girls do the assignment?"

"Well yes, but-" Rachel started

"Then you can go."

Quinn looked over at Santana who looked at her and smiled. "It'll be ok," Santana said.

Quinn got up and took her side of the classroom while Rachel handed Brad the sheet music.

"Dearest Darlingest Momsie and Popsical." Quinn began.

"My dear father." Rachel continued.

"There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz."

"But of course I'll care for Nessa," Rachel sang.

"But of course, I'll rise above it." Quinn hit the high notes perfectly.

"For I know that's how you'd want me to respond. Yes, there's been some confusion for you see my roommate is," The girls sang in perfect harmony.

"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe," Quinn looked over at Rachel.

"Blonde." Rachel glared at Quinn.

"What is this feeling so sudden and new?" Quinn slowly walked towards Rachel.

"I felt the moment I laid eyes on you?" Rachel started her walk towards Quinn.

"My pulse is rushing." Quinn took another step.

"My head is reeling." Rachel took a few as well.

"My face is flushing." Quinn could actually feel her heart beating as she got closer to the brunette.

"What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name?" The girls closed the distance between them. "Yes." The girls looked at each other. "Loathing." They looked at the rest of the Glee club. "Unadulterated loathing" They looked back at each other.

"For your face." Quinn snarled.

"Your voice." Rachel glared again.

"Your clothing." Quinn smirked.

They looked back at the Glee club.

"Let's just say, I loathe it all." They walked back to opposite sides of the classroom just like they had practiced on Friday night.

"Every little trait, however small makes my very flesh begin to crawl. With simple utter loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation. It's so pure and strong! Though I do admit it came on fast.  
Still I do believe that it can last and I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!"

The girls sang the rest of the song while staring daggers into each other. The more Rachel was angry with Quinn, the angrier Quinn was feeling towards Rachel. The girls got in each other's face for the finale of the song.

"Boo!" Rachel screamed at Quinn.

"Ahh!" Quinn jumped since she really did get scared by Rachel.

Rachel started laughing manically and the song ended. The girls went and sat back down on opposite sides of the room. Santana grabbed Quinn's hand.

"You're shaking." Santana whispered. "You need to calm down, Q."

"I know. I know." Quinn took in a few big breaths to calm herself.

"Amazing job, girls!" Mr. Schue praised them. "You need to work together more often. That was incredible."

Neither girl said anything.

"Alright, next how about Kurt and Mercedes?"

They performed Telephone by Lady Gaga and Beyonce followed by Matt and Mike who mostly danced. Next were Santana and Brittany who followed in Quinn and Rachel's footsteps and performed "For Good," also from Wicked.

"Alright guys, that's all we have time for today. Tomorrow we will have Puck and Finn and Tina and Artie. Have great evening, guys." Mr. Schue dismissed the group.

"Hey baby," Finn came up behind Quinn and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I felt like I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you feeling?"

Quinn had forgotten all about Finn. She had been so preoccupied with Rachel. Quinn knew she had to tell Finn the truth and break up with him. She wanted to be with Rachel.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good. You and Rachel did an amazing job." Finn smiled.

"Thanks. Look Finn, we need to talk." Quinn looked around and waited until the room emptied before she spoke again.

"I lied to you Finn about the baby."

Finn looked at her with a confused look on his face. "You're not pregnant?"

"No, I am, but you're not the father." Quinn sat there for a minute and watched as Finn took in this news.

"Who?" Finn asked.

"That's not important right now. I'm really sorry, Finn. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well you did. I'm sorry, but we're done. I can't be with you." Finn said as he stood up to walk away.

"Finn?" He turned around to look at her. Quinn opened her mouth but couldn't form any words. She closed it again and looked down. She heart him walk about and the door close behind him. After a few minutes, she heard the door open again. She looked up and saw Santana come in.

"Where's B?" Quinn asked surprised that the blonde wasn't attached to her girlfriend's hip for once.

"Coach Sylvester wanted to talk to her about something. Is everything ok in here? I saw Finn leave. He looked pretty upset." Santana sat down next to Quinn.

"I told him about the baby, well I told him that he wasn't the father."

"Puck?" Santana asked.

"No, I couldn't tell him that part." Quinn looked the Latina in the eyes. "He broke up with me."

"Isn't that what you wanted? So you can try to figure out this whole Rachel thing. You want to be with her, right?" Santana asked. Quinn just nodded. "Well then, you are going to have to talk to Rachel. She isn't going to know that you want to be with her, unless you talk to her. Tomorrow, ok? Talk to her tomorrow. I will be there to celebrate with you if she wants the same and I will be here to let you cry if she doesn't."

"Thanks, S."

"Now come on, we have practice. Mrs. S will make us run laps if we are late and my guess is that, that is not so good for my niece in there." Santana stuck out her hand.

Quinn smiled. She hated Wednesdays because they had Glee practice and then Cheerio's practice in the same day. Quinn took the Latina's hand for what felt like the thousandth time that week and let her lead her to the gym.


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel was sitting at the piano bench in her upstairs game room when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Finn before answering it.

"Hey, Finn." She said.

"Hey Rachel. I was wondering if you were free. I could use someone to talk to."

"Yeah, Finn, what's up?" Rachel asked concern filling her voice.

"Do you think we can meet up? How about Rosewood Park in like 10 minutes?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you soon."

Rachel hung up the phone and went into her room. She brushed her hair, touched up her make-up and smoothed out her skirt. She smiled at herself in the mirror before grabbing her keys and running out the front door. She pulled up to the park a few minutes later saw Finn's tall frame across the playground sitting on the swings. She walked over to him and sat down on the swing next to him.

"Thanks for coming, Rach," Finn said as he looked over at her.

"Of course. So tell me what's going on,"

"I broke up with Quinn today."

Rachel felt her heart start pounding.

"What about the baby?"

"Not mine." Finn said as he took Rachel's hand.

"What? Whose is it?" Rachel asked

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me." Finn squeezed Rachel's hand tighter.

"Are you ok? What does this mean?" Rachel asked, trying to not get her hopes up.

"It means we can be together without the risk of slushies and threats from Quinn."

Rachel smiled as he leaned over and his lips met hers. The kiss started out soft but quickly turned more intense as Finn probed Rachel's lips with his tongue. She moaned and he took that opportunity to push his tongue past her teeth and lips, exploring her mouth. Rachel wanted to be closer to him. She stood up off the swing and sat down on his lap. She kept kissing him, her body melting into his. "Finn," She moaned as he kissed down her neck, his hands exploring her body.

All of a sudden she saw Quinn's face in her mind. Her hazel eyes, her long blonde hair and her gorgeous body. "What the hell?" Rachel thought. She could feel Quinn kissing her. It wasn't Quinn though, it was Finn. Finn was kissing her. Her heart ached for Quinn though.

"Wait Finn, stop." Rachel pushed him away. "I'm sorry about you and Quinn, but I can't do this." Rachel got up and ran back to her car trying to catch her breath.

"What just happened?" Rachel said out loud to no one. "I want to be with Finn, right? I can't like Quinn. I'm not gay. I like Finn."

Rachel knew that wasn't true anymore. She knew she wanted to be with Quinn. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She stopped at a red light and realized she didn't have her seat belt on. She was so lost in her thoughts that she forgot to be careful when buckling her seat belt and she winced in pain as the buckle hit her hip. She thought about Quinn the whole way home trying to come up with some sort of plan. She was mad at Quinn for bringing up the cutting, but Santana said that Quinn cared about her. "I can't stay mad at her for that." Rachel thought.

Rachel's dads were home when she got home.

"Hi dad, daddy." Rachel said as she came in. "How long until dinner?"

"Hi, honey. It should be ready in about 20 minutes." Hirum said.

"Ok, I'm going to go take a shower." Rachel felt dirty for some reason after making out with Finn. She needed to get clean.

She went upstairs and got in the shower. She started washing her body, she hit her hip and yelped in pain. She knew the cut was infected but she didn't know what to do about it. It was throbbing now that she had hit it with her lufah. Rachel could feel the tears filling up her eyes as the pain filled her whole body.

Rachel knew she had no other choice but to call Quinn. She was the only one who knew about Rachel's cutting and therefore she was the only one who could take a closer look at the cut. Plus Rachel really wanted an excuse to see Quinn and work everything out.

She got out of the shower, doctored the cut as best she could and got dressed. She threw her hair up into a messy ponytail and grabbed her phone of her bed. She looked at Quinn's number for a couple minutes before she got up the courage to call her. It rang a few times and Rachel was about to hang out when she heard Quinn answer.

"Hello?" Quinn asked clearly confused.

"Hey Quinn." Rachel was silent for a few seconds.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Quinn asked.

"Um Quinn listen, I know I was a royal bitch to you and I know you probably don't want to talk to me and I really don't blame you. I just wasn't okay with you knowing about everything since your favorite activity for the past I don't even know how many years has been torturing me and I figured that you would just use everything against me. I got a chance to get to know you last week and throw in the stuff that Santana said and I have gathered that you are actually a pretty good person, Quinn." Rachel rambled on talking a mile a minute.

"Rachel! Get to the point." Quinn snapped into the phone.

"Do you think you could come over tonight? In like an hour? I really need your help with something and you're the only one who can help me with this." Rachel asked, her voice getting quieter.

Quinn was silent for a few moments before she replied, "Are you ok, Rachel?"

"My cut is infected and I don't know what to do about it. I need you to look at it because I can't get close enough to it to see how bad it is." Rachel said her voice barely a whisper now.

"I'll be there in an hour." Quinn said before she hung up.

Rachel smiled at her phone. She was nervous about the conversation she knew she was going to have to have with Quinn, but she was excited to see the blonde again. She had dinner with her fathers and watched the clock tick away. Finally she heard the bell ring.

"I'll get it!" Rachel yelled to her dads.

Rachel opened the front door and there she was, the girl Rachel didn't even know she wanted to be with until a few hours ago.

"Hi," Rachel smiled.

"Hi," Quinn smiled back and Rachel could see she was nervous.

"Let's go upstairs." Rachel said as she led the blonde to her room.

Quinn sat on the bed and Rachel sat next to her.

"Talk to me," Quinn sat after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean the things I said, I was just upset and scared."

"I know. It's ok. I just want to be your friend. I was surprised at how much this week has sucked with you being so mad at me." Quinn said as she grabbed he brunette's hand. Rachel didn't pull away. She loved how Quinn's hand felt in her own.

"Can we just forget all of it?"

"No, Rachel, we have to talk about why you are doing this. I can forget and forgive the rest of it, but I'm not just going to pretend I don't know anything. I'm sorry but I just can't sit by and let you hurt yourself. I care about you too much." Quinn said, squeezing Rachel's hand.

"Why? Why do you care so much? Last week you hated me," Rachel said trying to figure out why the blonde wanted to help.

"I, um," Quinn began and Rachel could feel the blonde's hand shaking.

"Quinn?"

Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes before she leaned over. Rachel felt her heart beating fast as she closed the gap and they were kissing. Rachel couldn't believe it. She loved how Quinn tasted. Her lips were so much softer than Finn's. Rachel wanted more but before she could get closer to Quinn she heard a knock on the door. She pulled apart from the blonde quickly.

"Rachel, honey," She heard on the other side. "Who was at the door?"

"It's just Quinn, daddy." Rachel said quickly.

"Ok, well you girls have fun. If you don't see you before you go to bed, we love you." Her dad said before Rachel heard their footsteps fading.

"I should, um, I should go." Quinn got up to leave but Rachel grabbed her wrist. She wanted nothing more than to be kissing Quinn again.

"Please don't go. I'm sorry for kissing you." Rachel said. All she wanted was for the blonde to stay.

"I wanted to. I've wanted to for a while." Quinn bit her lip.

"Me too." Rachel said. She looked down at their hands, which were still entwined.

"Can we do it again?" Quinn said with a little embarrassment in her voice.

"Yes," Rachel smiled, "But first I need your help."

"Right. The cut." Quinn said. Rachel couldn't look at Quinn. She was so embarrassed that Quinn knew about her cutting. "Sweetie, look at me."

Rachel lifted her chin. "I'm sorry."

"Please stop apologizing. What do you need me to do?" Quinn asked.

"I think the cut is infected and I can't get close enough to it to check." Rachel knew the cut was very infected. It was bright red an inch around the cut and the cut itself was a gross green color.

"Where it is?" Quinn asked.

"On my hip." Rachel saw Quinn's eyes get bigger. Knots formed in Rachel's stomach at the thought of Quinn that close to Rachel's most private parts.

"Show me," Quinn said almost silently.

Rachel lifted up her shirt and Rachel saw Quinn's lips partly at the sight of the brunette's stomach. She was suddenly very happy that she forced herself to work out every day. Rachel pushed down her skirt a little to reveal her hip. She took of the band aid off and winced at the pain.

"Oh my God, Rachel, honey, what did you do?" Quinn jumped off the bed to get a closer look. "When did you do this? Why?"

"I don't want to answer that. Please don't make me." Rachel said as pained seared through her body from Quinn's touch but also from the memory of that night.

"It was me, wasn't it? You did it last Friday. Rachel, I'm so so so sorry. Please, Rachel, I'm sorry." Rachel saw the tears pour down Quinn's cheeks. Rachel wiped them away.

"It wasn't your fault, Quinn." Rachel said trying to get the blonde to understand.

"It looks really bad, Rachel. You need to talk to your dads or go to the doctor." Quinn said.

"I can't." Rachel whispered. "They can't know. Please."

"Rachel, someone needs to fix this. What about the school nurse?" Quinn asked.

"She will tell my dad's."

"Ok well how about this? I have to go to get my ultrasound tomorrow after school. Come with me and maybe we can get the doctor to check it out and doctor it up." Quinn said taking Rachel's hands again.

"Are you sure?" Rachel knew that an ultrasound was very personal.

"Yes. I want you there. Now that Finn and I are over, I just don't want to be alone. Please come with me. We need to get that cut checked out and I need all the support I can get. Please come." Rachel looked into those hazel eyes and knew the blonde was telling the truth.

"Ok, thanks." Rachel said. "Can we go back to our previous activity now? I really want to kiss you some more."

Quinn smiled. "Of course, but before I kiss you, I need to know what this means? Do you want to be with me? I really don't want a friends with benefits thing."

"I want to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to hold hands with you in the hallway and kiss you in the choir room and fall asleep in your arms." Rachel pulled Quinn in closer. Quinn smiled and they were kissing again.


	13. Chapter 13

Quinn didn't remember falling asleep but she woke up feeling warm and safe. She opened her eyes and didn't remember where she was. She hated that confused feeling in the morning. She looked around and saw the yellow walls and it all came flooding back to her. She smiled as she realized Rachel's arm was across her waist and her head was buried in the blonde's hair. She grabbed her phone to text Santana. 6 am. It was definitely not too early to text Santana especially since it was Thursday and they had to be at school in 2 hours. She sent her a smiley face with the word Rachel. She knew they could talk at school about the details. Quinn cuddled up to Rachel intent on going back to sleep until they absolutely had to wake up but Quinn felt that familiar tug in her stomach and she tore out of bed to Rachel's bathroom. She hated morning sickness. She finally stopped heaving and flushed the toilet. Quinn quickly poked her head out the bathroom and saw that Rachel was still sound asleep. She tiptoed over, grabbed her phone and quickly went back to the bathroom, this time shutting the door behind her.

She really needed a toothbrush. She knew her perfect now girlfriend was bound to have a new spare toothbrush somewhere. She opened the first drawer, she didn't like snooping through the brunette's drawers but she knew that she really needed to brush her teeth. She grabbed the unopened toothbrush she saw in there and smiled at the fact that Rachel was so predictable. She was closing the drawer when something shiny caught her eye. She picked up the razor blade and felt her heart rip apart as she saw the dried blood that was still on it. She put it back since she wasn't sure what to do about it just now. She quickly brushed her teeth and opened the door to make sure her girlfriend was still asleep. She stood and stared at her for a second replaying the nights events. They had made out for 3 hours before they finally curled up and went to sleep. She loved kissing her. Neither girl pushed anything further than kissing. They spent the hours exploring each other's mouths and tongues completely content. Quinn loved it. She closed the door again and hit 2 on her speed dial.

"What the fuck do you want, Fabray?" Santana was pissed.

"Good morning to you too, S." Quinn laughed.

"Why are you calling this early? This is our one day without early Cheerios practice. You are going to wake up Brittany." Santana said.

"Please, Brittany could sleep through an earthquake and a tornado at the same time." Quinn smiled as she said this.

"Good point. Seriously, Q, what do you want?"

"I talked to Rachel. I'm at her house actually." Quinn said.

"You bedded, Berry? Wow, I didn't know she was that easy." Santana said.

"Watch yourself, Santana. I didn't sleep with her but we are together now." Quinn couldn't help but grin.

"Well I'm happy for you, Q, but can we talk at school? I still have 45 minutes until my alarm clock goes off and I'm exhausted because Brittany kept me up all night."

"Glad to hear that you are no longer embarrassed about having sex with Brittany." Quinn said.

"Yeah well I'm still on that post-sex high. We will talk at school. Bye." Santana said and hung up without waiting for a response.

Quinn set the alarm on her phone for 7 am and climbed back in bed with the brunette. Her brunette. She wrapped her arm around the girl's waist and snuggled as close to the girl as she could. She put her leg on the singer's legs and fell asleep breathing in the smell of Rachel.

Quinn groaned as the alarm went off. She could have sworn she just fell back asleep 5 minutes ago. She reached over and felt an empty space. She started to panic until she heard the shower on. She knew there was nothing she could do until Rachel got out of the shower, so she laid back in bed but made sure she didn't fall back to sleep. She heard the shower stop and a few moments later the door opened to reveal the tiny starlet in nothing but a towel. Quinn swore she felt her heart stop. Rachel's skin was still damp and her hair was sticking to her face.

"Oh my God." Quinn exclaimed before she crossed the room and took Rachel's lips into hers. She quickly pushed her tongue into the brunette's mouth exploring her mouth with her tongue. "Oh, Rachel." Quinn pushed Rachel against the wall and kissed her neck fueled by the sound of Rachel's moans. Quinn palmed Rachel's right breast while she kissed down to her collarbone. She needed Rachel. Before she knew it her hand was lifting up the bottom of the towel that was not so tightly wrapped around the other girl anymore. Quinn could feel the heat radiating from the brunette's core. Quinn's fingers were getting close. Quinn returned her lips to Rachel's mouth while her hand made its way up Rachel's thigh.

"No, Quinn wait." Rachel said.

Quinn growled but stopped. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I can't do this. Not now. I want our first time to be special. Besides, we just started dating 12 hours ago. We don't need to rush things." Rachel said.

"Rachel, it's just sex," Quinn said and then it dawn on her. "You're a virgin aren't you?"

"Yes," Rachel said as she looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry."

"Rachel, honey, it's ok. I didn't know. Of course we can wait until you're ready. I would never ever make you do anything you weren't ready for. We can stick to kissing for now." Quinn said as she kissed her girlfriend and wrapped her in a hug. Quinn was upset and now she was horny as hell, but she didn't want to lose the girl she was falling for.

"Rachel, I need to go home and get changed and ready for school. I'll see you at school in an hour." Quinn said as she kissed the brunette again.

"Ok, sounds good." Rachel said as the blonde headed out the door. "Wait." Quinn turned around. "You aren't mad at me, right?

"Never." Quinn said with a smile as she walked out the door and drove herself home. She quickly changed into her Cheerios uniform and threw her hair up into a ponytail for what felt like the thousandth time in her life. She knew she was going to have to quit the Cheerios soon. It wasn't good for the baby. She grabbed her backpack and drove to school. She looked around and didn't see Rachel's car yet so she hurried inside. She stopped by her locker and grabbed the books she needed. She closed her locker and there she was. She leaned in and kissed her girlfriend. She loved doing that.

"Hi, pretty girl." Quinn said.

"Hi, yourself. Can we talk?" Rachel asked.

"Already? Man that was fast. Are you already breaking up with me" Quinn asked only half joking.

"No, of course I'm not. You're not going to break up with me are you?" Rachel asked.

"No, I want to be with you more than anything. What is this about?"

"Well I know you are head cheerleader and that I'm not good for your reputation and I know you are mad that I won't sleep with you and why would you want to be with me?" Quinn cut Rachel off with a kiss.

"I want to be with you, Rachel. I already told you that it's ok about the sex stuff. Seriously. As far as the popularity stuff goes, I really don't care what anyone thinks. Santana will kick anyone's ass who messes with us. I'm quitting Cheerios and I won't be head cheerleader anymore, so none of it really matters. I want to be with you. Please stop doubting that."

"I'll try." Rachel said quietly.

"That's all I can ask. We have to go to class now. I'll walk you to Spanish." Quinn took her hand and walked her to class. "I'll see you at lunch." Quinn kissed Rachel and then headed to her own class.

1st period passed far slower than Quinn would have liked. Finally the bell rang and Quinn walked down the hall to her next class. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Finn. She really didn't want to talk to him, so she turned around and came face to face with Santana.

"Hey, Q. I think it's time for us to talk." Santana said as she grabbed the blonde's hand and pulled her outside to her car.

"Santana, we have class." Quinn said as she got into the passenger seat.

"Yeah I don't really care." Santana started the car.

"Where is Brittany?" Quinn asked truly surprised that Brittany wasn't with the Latina.

"She needs to be in class, Q. Lucky for us, we are on the honor roll, so we get to go to IHOP for pancakes." Santana pulled the car out of the school parking lot and smiled.

"Well, I'm pregnant so you won't get any argument from me." Quinn's stomach growled almost on cue and both girls laughed.

They arrived at the restaurant 5 minutes later and once again, Quinn loved living in a small town. They were seated and had ordered before they started talking.

"Alright, Q, spill. I can see it's killing you to not have already told me. Why else would you have texted and called me at 6 am?" Santana said.

"She called me last night to come over because she needed help with something and we were just sitting there talking and I don't know, I just leaned over and kissed her. Which, in hindsight was probably a really stupid idea. She said she wants to be with me too. So we are official now." Quinn couldn't stop grinning.

"Man, who would've thought that you would end up with a girlfriend, especially Berry?" Santana laughed.

"You're the one who told me I was gay."

"Well yeah that's because I remember how you felt and sounded when we had sex, but I didn't really expect you to put all your pride and everything aside to actually be with a girl."

"Shut up," Quinn laughed.

"Seriously, Q, I really am happy for you. I don't like her. As Puck once eloquently put it 'That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire.' However, you are more important to me than just about anything, so if you are happy, I'm happy for you." Santana smiled at her friend and Quinn knew she was sincere.

"Thanks, S, but you do know this means you have to leave her alone. No more slushies or mean jibes and you will call her Rachel." Quinn warned.

"Can I call her, Berry? I don't know if I can call her Rachel." Santana asked.

"You can call her Berry, but it cannot be in a degrading way. Do you understand me?" Quinn warned again.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Santana said as their food came. Quinn practically dove into her pancakes. She was so hungry. "So what else are you doing today," Santana asked as she took a bite of her own pancakes.

"You do realize Coach Sylvester will actually kill us if she sees us eating like this?" Quinn laughed through her food. "As for today, I have a doctor's appointment after school. I'm getting an ultrasound to make sure she is ok."

"I'll go with you since Finn is no longer in the picture and I'm guessing you haven't asked Puck to be involved. I would like to see my niece for the first time. What time is the appointment?"

"Rachel is coming with me. Sorry, S."

"But she's my niece and you're my best friend!" Santana exclaimed.

"Yeah but if I end up marrying Rachel, she will be the baby's mom too if I decide to keep her. She is my girlfriend now, Santana. I love you and you will always be my best friend, but I'm sorry. Besides, Rachel kind of needs to come to the doctor with me today."

"Why?" Santana asked.

Quinn wasn't sure she should be continuing to spill Rachel's secrets now that she was her girlfriend, but Quinn was scared about what Rachel was doing and knew Santana would keep her mouth shut.

"She cut her hip. It's really bad, but she doesn't want her parents to know, so she is going to come with me to the doctor so they can take a look at it." Quinn said.

"What are you going to do about all of that?" Santana asked.

"I don't know," Quinn said quietly. "I was kind of thinking, maybe you could talk to her."

"What?" Santana practically choked on her food.

"Well you have been there and I don't know what to say and I thought maybe you would."

"I only did it a couple of times and it was never that bad, Q." Santana fought back.

"I've seen the scars on your wrist that you think no one knows about. I know how bad it was, S. I just never brought it up because I knew you had stopped. I need you to talk to her. Please." Quinn begged.

"No, Q, I'm sorry. I'm not going to talk a girl I don't even like about my feelings and the reasons I used to cut." Santana snapped. "I don't do feelings."

"You talk about your feelings with me and Brittany. Why can't you with Rachel? She isn't going to judge you." Quinn countered.

"Yeah well I have fucked you and Brittany." The other customers looked over at them. "Turn around!" Santana snapped at them before she turned back to Quinn. "I'm not screwing Berry just so I will be comfortable talking about anything cutting related with Rachel."

"No, you will not be sleeping with my girlfriend. Ever." Quinn said. "Please, Santana, I don't know what to do. I'm scared." Quinn's eyes started to water. Damn hormones.

"I will think about it. Ok?" Santana tried.

"Santana?" Quinn started.

"I promise I will think about it, ok? I'm not comfortable doing it and I know she won't listen but I know how important it is to you, so I will think about it."

"Thanks, S." They finished their breakfast in peace and Santana paid the bill and drove them back to school. The day passed pretty uneventfully and before they knew it, the girls were on their way to the doctor.

"Quinn Fabray?" The nurse called.

"This is my girlfriend, Rachel. Is it ok if she comes back with me?"

"Of course," The nurse replied and she took the girls back. After checking all the vitals the nurse led them to a small room. 10 minutes later the doctor came in.

"Hi, girls, I'm Dr. Kacee Halliwell." She shook each girl's hand. "It's very nice to meet you both."

"Hi, I'm Quinn and this is my girlfriend, Rachel." Quinn offered as Rachel just smiled.

The doctor reminded Quinn of Addison Montgomery from Grey's Anatomy and Quinn could feel herself calming down.

"I thought there were only 2 OBGYNs in Lima and they are both male." Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I just moved here a couple weeks ago. Alright, Quinn, lay down and we will look at your daughter. This gel is going to be a little cold."

All of sudden the sound of a heartbeat filled the room and Quinn looked over at the monitor. Tears filled her eyes yet again as she heard her daughter. Rachel clasped her hand and both girls were quiet.

"I will leave you alone for a few minutes. Congratulation, Quinn." Dr. Halliwell made her way to the door.

"Wait, I have a favor to ask." Quinn stopped the doctor. "Rachel has a cut on her hip and I was hoping you could take a look at it. It's pretty infected."

"Sure." Rachel lifted up her shirt and Quinn again felt her mouth gape open at the sight of Rachel's toned stomach. Rachel pushed her skirt down a little and again removed the band aid.

"Wow, Rachel that is a pretty nasty cut. It's definitely infected. I will write you a prescription for some antibiotics. How did it happen?"

"Why do you need to know that?" Rachel asked, fear in her voice.

"I just need to know if you are going to need a tetanus shot. What caused the cut?" Dr. Halliwell asked her face showing that she knew more than the brunette was letting on.

"I don't know," Rachel said as she looked down at her feet.

"Sweetie, you need to tell her. She can't fix it if you don't tell her." Quinn said as she pushed back Rachel's hair.

"Did you do this to yourself?" The doctor asked.

Rachel nodded ever so slightly.

"What did you use?" She asked Rachel with no judgment in her voice.

Rachel didn't answer. "She used a razor blade," Quinn answered for her.

Rachel's eyes snapped up to Quinn's. The blonde knew she was in trouble for snooping.

"I was looking for a toothbrush and I saw it in the drawer. I wasn't snooping, I promise." Quinn said quickly hoping that the brunette wouldn't be mad at her.

"Did you clean the blade with an alcohol swab before you used it?" The doctor asked.

"No, but I did clean it after I used it the time before." Rachel said quietly.

"Are you lying to me?" The doctor asked.

"No, ma'am." Rachel responded and Quinn could see in her eyes that she was telling the truth.

The doctor looked at Quinn. "She is telling the truth," Quinn answered the silent question.

"Ok then, no tetanus shot for you. I will clean the cut up and let you be on your way. You are very lucky that it doesn't need stitches." The doctor cleaned it up and smiled. "Quinn, I need to talk to you in private if that's ok."

"Yeah, that's fine. Rachel, sweets, will you go wait for me outside?" Rachel looked at Quinn with a scared look on her face but walked out the door anyway.

"How long as your girlfriend been cutting herself?" The doctor asked as soon as the door was closed.

"I'm not sure. I only noticed it a week ago and we just got together last night. I'm working on it though." Quinn said.

"Ok, well here's the deal. I will keep this to myself for now, but since she is under 18, if she does it again, I'm going to have to tell her parents. I'm sorry. I want an update on her at your next ultrasound in a month. Understand?" The doctor said.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much." Quinn got up to leave.

"Oh and Quinn?"

"Yes?" Quinn asked.

"Don't call me ma'am, it makes me feel old. You can call me Kacee or Dr. Halliwell. I'm a pretty informal kind of woman." The doctor smiled at the blonde.

"Thank you." Quinn said as she walked out the door.

Quinn paid and the girls headed to the pharmacy to pick up Rachel's prescription.

"I'll pay for this so your dads don't see it show up on your insurance." Quinn smiled as she pulled out her credit card.

"Thanks," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn drove them to Rosewood Park and parked the car.

"I'm sorry I'm so screwed up," Rachel started, "It's not fair for you to have to deal with this. You deserve someone better, someone prettier."

"Rachel," Quinn brushed Rachel's hair out of her face, "You are not screwed up."

"Yes I am." Rachel started to cry and Quinn pulled her into a hug.

"No, you aren't. You are just lost and upset. I get that. Trust me. But you have got to stop doing this to yourself." Quinn said as the rubbed her girlfriend's back.

Rachel pulled away and looked Quinn in the eyes. "I can't.

"Why not?" Quinn asked.

"I just can't."

"Rachel, honey, tell me how this all started. I need you to talk to me." Quinn said. She knew she was pushing her luck with the girl.

"2 years ago I was having a bad day. I had already been slushied and there were all these really mean comments on my MySpace page and I was just so tired of being dumped on all the time. One of your cheerleading friends came up to me at school and told me how ugly I was and how no one wanted me around. She told me that I was better off dead."

Quinn's heart ripped apart at this story and she grabbed her girlfriend's hand and started rubbing her thumb up and down Rachel's skin trying to reassure her.

"I went home and just broke down crying. All I could hear was her voice in my head saying that I was ugly and better off dead. I really don't know what made me do it but I went in to my bathroom and picked up a razor. I've done it ever since."

Quinn was crying now. She hated thinking about her girlfriend doing that to herself.

"You have to stop," Quinn said quietly.

"I can't," Rachel snapped. "Why don't you get that?"

"Please don't be mad at me."

"You're not listening to me. I don't want to deal with this. Please take me back to school so I can get my car."

"But, Rachel," Quinn started.

"Please, Quinn."

Quinn pulled out of the park and drove back to McKinley.

"Are we ok?" Quinn asked as Rachel opened the door to get out of the car.

"Yes." Rachel said. Quinn grabbed the back of her shirt. Rachel whipped around. "What?"

Quinn leaned in a kissed her. Without another word, Rachel got out of the car and got into her own. Rachel glanced at Quinn before she drove away.

"Damn." Quinn thought. She grabbed her phone and called Santana.

"You have to talk to her," Quinn said when Santana answered. "Please."

"Fine, I will try to talk to her tomorrow but she isn't going to listen to me." Santana said.

"Please try." Quinn said and she hung up. They had been dating less than 24 hours and Rachel was already mad at her. This was not starting out well.


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel couldn't sleep that night. It apparently only took one night of sleeping in Quinn's arms to make her not be able to sleep alone. Plus, she felt really awful about snapping at Quinn. She just wished the blonde would stay out of that part of her life. Rachel didn't understand why Quinn couldn't just let it be.

"It's my issue, not hers." Rachel thought. She turned over again and tried to go to sleep. After another 30 minutes of tossing and turning she picked up her phone. 1:45 the clock said. "It's too late to call her." Rachel thought as her fingers played with the buttons on her phone. "I want my girlfriend, though." Before she could stop herself, she was dialing Quinn's number.

"Hello?" Quinn answered after the first ring, no sleepiness in her voice.

"Hey." Rachel said. She was feeling really stupid now that she had called.

"I'm sorry," Quinn said. Rachel was getting really tired of all the apologizing they had been doing.

"Me too. Did I wake you?" Rachel asked already knowing the answer.

"No, I couldn't sleep. It sounds stupid but I missed you." Quinn said sheepishly.

"Well if you wanted to come over and snuggle, I wouldn't object," Rachel said.

"You can't sleep either, can you?" Quinn laughed.

"No, I miss you." Rachel said.

"I will be there soon." Quinn hung up and Rachel headed downstairs to meet the blonde. Less than 5 minutes later, headlights shone in her face. She quickly opened the door and ran outside to kiss her girlfriend. Rachel led Quinn upstairs and they crawled into bed. Quinn laid down on her back and Rachel wrapped her arm around Quinn's waist and her leg around Quinn's legs. She rested her head on Quinn's chest. She breathed in the smell of the blonde. It was sweet. She recognized the scent from Victoria's Secret.

"Can we please stop fighting?" Rachel asked. "I just want to be with you and be happy."

"Yes, from now on no more fights. Just kissing and snuggling and just being together."

"Good." Rachel smiled. She looked up at the blonde before she leaned down and kissed her. Lightly at first but it quickly intensified. Rachel didn't want it to stop. Rachel sucked on Quinn's tongue before pulling their lips apart. Quinn was panting.

"Why did you stop?" Quinn asked.

"Because we have school in the morning and if we keep doing that, we won't get any sleep." Rachel resumed her position of cuddling with the blonde. The girls talked about random stuff until they both drifted off to sleep.

Rachel woke up completely entangled with Quinn. The blonde's tank top had ridden up and she could see her stomach. Rachel felt her heart catch in her chest. "Even when she is pregnant she is so hot." Rachel thought suddenly knowing she wouldn't be able to resist sleeping with the girl for long. She pushed the thoughts away and slowly untangled herself.

"No, Rachel, stay." Quinn moaned softly.

"Go back to sleep, baby." Rachel stoked Quinn's hair and got out of bed.

She quietly went into the room that had their workout equipment. She had a stationary bike in her room, but she wanted her girl to sleep. After an hour on the machines Rachel went back into her bedroom.

"Quinn, baby," Rachel softly rubbed Quinn's shoulder. "It's time to get up. I'm going to hop in the shower. Do you need to go home to get clothes?"

"No, they are in my bag." Quinn pointed to the floor without even opening her eyes. Rachel saw the Cheerio duffle bag she didn't even notice the night before. "Wake me up when you get out of the shower."

Rachel took a quick shower, doctored her cut, took her antibiotics and threw on some clothes. She didn't need a repeat of yesterday morning. Rachel wasn't sure she would be able to resist the blonde's advances.

She sat down on the bed and slowly stroked the blonde hair in front of her. She leaned down and gave Quinn a kiss. "Quinn, baby, it's time to wake up. We have to leave in 30 minutes."

"No, sleep, please." Quinn pulled Rachel down until they were lying next to each other, limbs entangled again.

"Quinn, we have to go to school. My dad's don't leave until after me in the morning and they aren't going to allow us to just lay in bed."

"Do they know about us?" Quinn asked finally opening her eyes.

"No, because the second they know, then this whole you sleeping in my bed thing is kind of over. And I would really like to be able to keep doing this." Rachel leaned over and kissed Quinn again.

"So you just aren't going to tell them? Why won't they let us keep sleeping in the same bed? We aren't having sex."

"Yeah well I don't know how long that is going to last because you are really hot, Ms. Fabray." Rachel laughed as Quinn looked at her seductively. "I promise we can make out for hours after we get home, but for now, we have to go to school. Now get your sexy ass out of bed and get dressed. I'm going to go make us some breakfast." Rachel kissed Quinn one more time before she headed downstairs.

"Good morning, dad, daddy." Rachel said as she walked into the kitchen. Both men were seated at the table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Hirum said. "Did Quinn sleep here again last night?"

"Yeah, how do you know that?" Rachel asked a little to quickly.

"Her car is here." LeRoy said with a raised eyebrow, "Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Like what daddy?" Rachel asked as she started making toast for her and Quinn.

"Are you and Quinn dating?" Hirum asked.

"What no, of course not. You know I'm not gay. I like Finn. Quinn just got in a fight with her parents and she needed a place to crash so I let her come here. I promise all we did was sleep. We aren't together." Rachel rambled on quickly impressing herself with her ability to lie.

"Does she not have any other friends? Why does she keep coming here?" Hirum asked with a bit of an attitude.

"Hirum." LeRoy warned his husband.

"Look I'm sorry but this girl has tortured our daughter for the last 2 years. I don't like her being here." Hirum said.

"Dad, I love you, but you're wrong. Quinn has changed. She is my friend. Leave her alone. And about her other friends, she chose to come here. She needed someone she trusted and wanted to be around. Someone she felt safe with." Rachel said lying again.

Rachel grabbed the toast out of the toaster, put a little butter on each piece and started to walk out of the kitchen. "I'm sorry dad, but Quinn isn't going anywhere." Rachel walked out of the kitchen and back up to her room.

"Hey, baby," Rachel said as she walked into her room right as Quinn was putting on her Cheerios top. "I um," Rachel was speechless as she caught sight of Quinn chest, granted she had a bra on, but still. "You're perfect" Rachel whispered and then caught herself. "I mean, um, I made us some toast." Rachel said as Quinn just laughed at her.

"You're pretty perfect yourself, sweetie and after school I plan to found out just how perfect you are." Quinn smiled that seductive smile again.

"I'm not sleeping with you." Rachel smiled mostly just to torture the blonde a little.

"Yeah well I plan to push the envelope quite a bit because you my dear are irresistible." Quinn bit her bottom lip and it drove Rachel wild. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind.

"Speaking of, I just lied to my dad's about us."

"What happened?" Quinn asked.

"They asked if we were dating and I told them no. I said you got in a fight with your parents and that you wanted to come here. My dad still isn't your biggest fan but I told him you aren't going anywhere." Rachel said as she took her hands in her own. "Now we have to go to school. Come on. Grab your toast to go."

The beginning of the day went on without incident. Rachel was on her way to her 2nd period class when a voice sent chills down her spine. "Berry!" Santana yelled. "Wait up." Rachel turned around and saw the cheerleader rushing towards her.

"Y-yes, Santana?" Rachel asked, bracing herself for whatever was coming.

"Hey, we need to talk. You're coming with me. Let's go." Santana said as she marched off down the hall.

Rachel wasn't sure what to do. She knew that if she didn't go, the Latina might actually kill her so she followed her out the door.

Santana walked up to her car and ordered Rachel to get in. "Where are we going?" Rachel asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Starbucks. We need to have a little chat but it can't be one we have at school. Too many ears around."

"What is this about?" Rachel asked as the girls pulled up to the coffeehouse a few minutes later.

"Wait." Santana said as she walked in. She found a couple chairs in the corner. "Sit."

Rachel did was she was told and then stared at the other girl.

"Alright, Berry, here is the deal. We are going to have a little chat. If you dare repeat any of this conversation to anyone ever, I can guarantee that your girlfriend will not be able to stop me from destroying you. Got it?"

"G-g-got it." Rachel stammered. Her heart was beating so hard she actually thought it would explode out of her chest.

"First things first. I know you are with Quinn and as her best friend, I am obligated to tell you this: You break her heart, I break your face."

Rachel just nodded, she was afraid to speak.

"I don't normally do this, well at least not with people I don't trust with my life. I don't really 'do' feelings, but I'm making an exception because I feel this is important. I know you are cutting yourself and you need to stop." Santana started.

"Did Quinn tell you?" Rachel could feel her blood boiling.

"No, I saw the cuts on your wrist the other day. Nice job with the hiding." Santana snapped.

"My cat did that." Rachel tried to make up a lie. She was not having this conversation. What was everyone's problem?

"Bullshit," Santana said. "I know what cutting looks like. I'm not stupid."

"How would you know? Your life is perfect." Rachel asked quietly.

"I cut myself last year a few times when my parents were going through their divorce."

"What made you stop?" Rachel asked, shocked that the Latina was telling her this.

"I cut myself really deep and I had to get stitches. I learned my lesson pretty quickly. My mom made me go to therapy for a while and I guess I just learned to deal in other ways."

"Like torturing me?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Santana said.

"Why are you being so nice to me? Why do you care? You hate me." Rachel asked. She was so tired of the Latina picking on her.

"I really don't hate you. You annoy me sometimes and one day I swear I'm going to fix your wardrobe, but I really don't hate you. Honestly." Santana said and Rachel could see the sincerity in her eyes.

"Does Quinn know you cut?" Rachel asked trying to keep the conversation from coming back to her.

"Yes, she doesn't know about the stitches though. I managed to keep that from her. It wasn't easy though. I made that cut on my thigh so she never saw it."

Both girls were quiet for a few moments.

"Rachel," Rachel looked up at the sound of her name. She had never heard Santana say it before.

"Yeah?"

"You need to stop. Quinn cares about you so much. You need to go talk to Ms. Pillsbury." Santana said in a stern voice.

"How do you know Quinn cares so much?"

"I can tell. There is no one who knows Quinn as well as I do." Santana said and Rachel could tell there was something Santana wasn't telling her."

"I'm not worthy of her. Why does she want to be with me? I'm so messed up."

"Rachel, I'm going to say this one time and then we are going to forget this. You are a really good person. You have the most amazing voice I think I have ever heard in my life. You care about people so much and aside from your wardrobe, which we are going to fix by the way, I'm glad I'm in Glee with you. You make Quinn happy. She needs you and I think you need her. Go talk to Ms. P, ok? Quinn will go with you if you need the support, but you can't keep doing this to yourself. I don't want you to end up dead."

Rachel could feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Thanks, Santana."

"No problem. Ok, bonding time is up. When we get back to school, I will continue to pick on you." Santana said.

"Why?"

"Sorry, but it's who I am. It's how I deal." Santana said with a smile on her face. "Now come on, it's almost lunch time."

Santana drove them back to school and they went their separate ways.

Rachel walked into the cafeteria and found Quinn. "Hi honey," Rachel said as she smiled at the blonde.

"Hi, pretty girl. How is your day?"

"Weird." Rachel said, still not sure how to feel about the conversation with Santana.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Look I will go talk to Ms. Pillsbury about everything on Monday, ok? I need you to come with me though." Rachel couldn't look at Quinn.

"Of course, sweetie, but where is this coming from?" Quinn lifted Rachel's chin up with her hand.

"I was just thinking about it in class." Rachel said. She wasn't sure she sure she should tell Quinn about the Santana stuff yet.

"Well I think that is great and I will be there with you every step." Quinn smiled.

"Thanks." Rachel smiled. "I will see you after school?"

"Absolutely." Quinn said with that seductive smile again.

"Damn." Rachel thought as she kissed the blonde.

The day went by annoyingly slow. Rachel just wanted to kiss her girlfriend and she could feel herself getting more and more antsy. She was getting so aroused just thinking about the girl. Finally the final bell rang and she tore out to Quinn's car. The blonde was waiting for her clearly as horny as she was. Quinn took off as soon as the car door was closed. Rachel leaned over and kissed the blondes ear while letting her fingers trail up Quinn's thigh.

"Rachel, honey," Quinn's voice cracked. "What happened to going slow?"

"I need you." Rachel panted.

"What does that mean?" Quinn asked.

"I don't know." Rachel said as she kissed her girlfriend's neck and the blonde tried to concentrate on the road. Rachel really didn't know what she wanted. She just wanted to be with her girlfriend but she wasn't sure she was ready to lose her virginity.

The girls ran up to Rachel's room and shut and locked the door behind them. Rachel pushed Quinn onto the bed and straddled her. She pressed her lips onto the blondes hard. She rubbed her tongue along Quinn's bottom lip requesting entrance and the taller girl obliged. She slowly explored her girlfriend's mouth with her tongue trying to memorize everything. Quinn grabbed Rachel's hips and quickly flipped them over so Quinn was on top. Rachel tugged at Quinn's shirt and Quinn quickly pulled it over her head. She unclasped her bra and watched it fall. "Wow," Rachel said as she grabbed the blonde's breasts, teasing her nipples. Quinn was throwing her head back in pleasure, moaning Rachel's name. Rachel stopped and pulled her own shirt over her head and pulled Quinn closer. The blonde undid her bra as well and Quinn took her turn tweaking Rachel's nipples and Rachel could feel herself losing it. She forced her tongue back into Quinn's mouth and tangled her hands in the mess of blonde hair in her face.

"More, please, Rachel, more." Rachel flipped Quinn back over onto her back and took off the cheerleader's skirt and spanks. Rachel felt her heart rate increase as she saw how wet the other girl was.

"You know I don't actually know what I'm doing." Rachel said as she stopped.

"Touch me, fuck me, something, please." Quinn gasped. Her hazel eyes rolled into the back of her head as Rachel touched her clit.

"Screw going slow." Rachel said as she bent down to taste the girl for the first time. She ran her tongue along her slit tasting as much of Quinn as she possibly could. She had no idea what she was doing but she didn't want to stop. She quickly pushed her tongue into the other girl as she yelled out.

"Fuck, Rachel." Rachel could feel Quinn getting wetter as she thrust her tongue in and out of her girlfriend. "More, more, more, please." Rachel flicked her tongue across Quinn's clit as she plunged 2 fingers into the girl. "Harder, faster, please, God." Rachel happily obliged. She never wanted to stop making her girlfriend feel so good. Quinn's muscles began to tighten around Rachel's fingers and she knew the girl was close. She sucked on Quinn's clit and she felt the girl tumble over the edge. Rachel kept thrusting into Quinn as she came harder than Rachel could have ever imagined and kept moaning Rachel's name. Rachel took her fingers out of her girlfriend when she felt her calm down and slowing began licking her fingers savoring the taste of the blonde.

Quinn laid there for a second catching her breath before she started pushing down Rachel's skirt. Rachel could feel herself getting wetter but she knew she wasn't ready to lose her virginity. She wasn't entire sure what was included in her virginity considering what she had just done to Quinn, but she knew that keeping her hymen intact was a huge part of it.

"Quinn, wait, stop." Rachel said as she pushed the girl away.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, her face completely flushed. Rachel thought it was the sexiest thing ever.

"I can't, not now." Rachel said, still panting from making Quinn come so hard. "I'm not ready to lose my virginity. I'm sorry."

"I want to return the favor, please. I need you too." Quinn said as she began kissing Rachel's neck.

"Well you are more than welcome to keep doing what you are doing right now because God that feels good, but please don't take my innocence yet."

"Fine, but you my dear are anything but innocent." Quinn said as she bit down hard on the brunette. "I will just make sure everyone knows you are mine then." Rachel knew it was going to bruise but she didn't even care. Quinn moved down to her breasts and starting sucking on her right one as she drug her fingernails across the brunette's stomach driving Rachel insane. Quinn went back up to her neck and then back to her lips sucking hard on Rachel's lips and tongue before laying her head on Rachel's chest.

Rachel began stroking Quinn's hair, loving that the cheerleader was naked on top of her own half naked body. She knew she was falling fast for the girl. It was so strange to think that a week ago, she didn't want to be anywhere near the blonde but now she couldn't imagine being away from her.

"Do you think we are moving too fast?" Rachel asked. "I mean we have technically only been together for 2 days."

"Not at all. It just feels so natural and normal. I know its hormones and all of that, but I just don't want to be away from you. Even if there was no sex or anything like that, I would still want to be lying with you right now." Quinn answered as she lifted her head to look into Rachel's eyes.

"Good, me too." Rachel said as Quinn laid her head back down.

"So, sweetie, what do you want to do this weekend?" Quinn asked.

"Well I think we should go to the party at Puck's tomorrow night since the rest of the Gleeks are going too. I also think at some point I should school you in Rockband. We should also get you some stuff to keep here since my guess is that you will be sleeping over quite a bit."

"Is that ok? Me sleeping here? I just really don't like my house and I am really getting sick and tired of watching Brittany and Santana make out, knowing that me being there is the reason they aren't having sex."

"Yes, I want you here. I'm not sure I can sleep without you now." Rachel smiled as she said this. "Why don't you like your house?" Rachel asked as she continued to play with the blonde hair that was laying on her chest.

"I just don't like my parents and they don't like me. The less time I have to spend there, the better. They don't even know I'm pregnant." Rachel felt sad at this.

"How can you not tell them?" She asked.

"They will kick me out if they know, so I can't tell them."

"You don't know that." Rachel said trying to reassure her.

"Yeah I really do." Quinn said sadly.

"Quinn, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," the blonde answered as she ran her fingers across Rachel's stomach.

"Who's the baby's dad?"

"How do you kn-" Quinn started to ask.

"Finn." Rachel answered.

"Right, of course." Quinn said.

"Who, Quinn?

"Puck." Quinn answered almost wordlessly.

The girls were quiet for several minutes before Quinn spoke again.

"I was drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day. It was a huge mistake and I regret it." Quinn said.

"Was he your first?" Rachel asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"No." Quinn said but she didn't elaborate.

"How did you become president of the Celibacy Club?" Rachel laughed.

"Shut up," Quinn laughed and lightly hit Rachel.

"Who was it?"

"Santana." Quinn said. Rachel could feel the blonde's body tense on top of her. Rachel knew Quinn thought she was going to get really mad.

"Oh." Rachel said.

"Are you upset?" Quinn asked.

"Um, yes, but I'm not mad." Rachel said truthfully. She wasn't really surprised that Quinn slept with Santana but still a little weirded out by it.

"I'm sorry." Quinn said.

"Didn't we say we were going to stop apologizing to each other?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Quinn smiled and Rachel smiled back.

"We are good. I promise." Rachel said as she looked down and kissed the beautiful girl who was still naked on top of her. Rachel had an uneasy feeling in her stomach but she chose to just push it away and be content and happy with her girlfriend who was falling asleep in her arms.


	15. Chapter 15

"Rachel! We're home!" Hirum yelled up the stairs.

"Shit, Quinn, wake up. Clothes, now!" Rachel got out of bed and the warmth was gone.

"What's wrong? And why do you only cuss around me?" Quinn asked as she slowly got up.

"I don't really feel the need to tarnish my perfect permanent record at school and I love not being grounded. My dad's are home. Quinn, seriously, I know you are pregnant but you are going to have to move faster. Clothes, you have to put on clothes." Rachel said as she threw Quinn's cheerleading uniform at her.

"Hey, I'm not showing at all yet. Do not make fun of me." Quinn said with a smile. She looked over at the clock and saw that they had been asleep for 2 hours. The blonde got out of bed with a groan and began to reassemble her clothes. She decided to make a show of it, smile seductively and going as slow as possible. Rachel wasn't having it though.

"Quinn, honey, while I appreciate the show and you know that I will gladly ravish you again later, I really need you to get dressed because if my parents come up here and see you naked, I can pretty much guarantee your untimely death." Rachel said, "Please get dressed."

"You're no fun" Quinn pouted as she slipped on the last of her clothes.

"I will be fun later, I promise. If we don't go downstairs, they are going to come up here." Rachel said as she leaned down and kissed her girlfriend. Slowly at first, like always, but Quinn wanted to intensify the kiss. She ran her tongue along Rachel's lips and of course she allowed access. Quinn began moving her hands all over Rachel's body; first her shoulders, then her waist and finally she let them rest on her hips. The blonde then started kissing down Rachel's neck and across her collarbone.

"Quinn, we have to stop." Rachel said between breaths. "Later, I promise." Rachel pushed the blonde away and Quinn growled.

"Fine." Quinn allowed Rachel to pull her out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

"Hi daddy, dad," Rachel said with a smile. Both men just smirked at them.

"What have you girls been up to?" Hirum asked. Quinn saw his eyes glance at her hair.

"My hair, crap. I still have sex hair." Quinn thought as she berated herself for not thinking to run a brush through it.

"I, uh, we were uh…" Quinn started but she couldn't for the life of her think of something that would explain her appearance.

"We were dancing and sweating and then we fell asleep. Quinn just forgot to brush her hair before she came out so you wouldn't think she was a crazy person," Rachel said and Quinn noticed that the brunette wasn't quite looking her dad's in the eyes.

"Right," LeRoy said and Quinn knew he didn't believe her at all but he didn't push her one it. "So girls, what do you want for dinner?"

"Can we do take out? Please daddy?" Rachel begged.

All of a sudden Quinn was starving.

"Is that ok with you, Quinn?" LeRoy asked.

"Yes, please!" Quinn said with a huge smile on her face.

Hirum took each of their orders and went into the kitchen to call the Chinese restaurant.

"Quinn? I promise he will come around." LeRoy said and Quinn realized he was talking about Hirum.

"Are you sure? He hates me." The blonde responded. Rachel took her hand.

"He will, Quinn." Rachel said.

"He doesn't hate you." LeRoy said with a reassuring smile.

"Ok." Quinn said almost silently.

Hirum came back in the room and said that the food would be there in about 20 minutes.

"Why don't you girls go pick a movie." LeRoy said "And Rachel? Let Quinn have a say."

"Yeah yeah yeah" Rachel said as she walked over to their bookshelf filled from top to bottom with movies.

"Wow," Quinn said as she looked through the movies. There had to be 500 movies here.

"How about Rent?" Rachel asked.

"Isn't that movie all about drugs, sex and AIDS?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, but with singing." Rachel smiled.

"Are you sure that's a movie you want to watch with your dad's?" Quinn asked not sure how much she wanted to watch that movie at all.

"We watch it all the time. Have you ever seen it?" Rachel asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, like that movie is allowed in my house. Do you remember who my parents are?" Quinn asked.

"Well I haven't actually met them but yeah I get it. I think we should watch it. You need to see it. Besides, Idina and Tracie make very hot lesbians." Rachel smiled and Quinn knew she had lost.

"Fine, we can watch it." Quinn gave in and smiled back. She looked over and saw that Rachel's dads weren't looking at them so she quickly kissed Rachel.

"We decided on Rent, daddy." Rachel said as she leaned down to put the disk into the DVD player.

"Rachel." LeRoy warned. "What did I tell you?"

"Quinn wants to watch it too. I promise." Rachel said as she looked over at Quinn.

"Yeah, I want to watch it too." Quinn said.

"Ok then." Hirum said.

The girls sat on one couch while the men sat on another.

"525,600 minutes. 525,000 moments so dear." Rachel began singing. It made Quinn laugh.

"Rachel, no singing. Let Quinn enjoy the movie." Hirum said as he laughed at his daughter.

"It's ok, really. I know there is not stopping her. Besides, I love listening to her sing." Quinn said as she pulled a blanket over the girl's legs. She was getting cold.

"Right," LeRoy said and again Quinn knew that they knew something was going on between her and their daughter.

They had only made it as far as "c'est la vie, let her be a lesbian" when the doorbell rang.

"Food!" Quinn said before she could stop herself. "Sorry." She said as everyone laughed.

"It's ok Quinn we understand." LeRoy said as he got up and paid for the dinner. The food was dispersed and eaten. Quinn was the first one finished and she looked at her girlfriend who was still eating.

"Rachel? Are you going to finish that?" Quinn asked still starving.

"You mean the food I am eating right now?" Rachel asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yes." Quinn answered with a smile.

"Sure, honey, you can have it." Rachel said as she handed over the rest of her orange chicken.

"Honey?" Hirum asked. LeRoy smirked.

"I mean honey in a general girls-call-each-other- sweetie-honey- doll kind of way. We should really get back to the movie." Rachel said quickly and again Quinn knew the dads didn't believe her.

"Ooh this is my favorite scene!" Rachel said a few minutes later and Quinn laughed as she watched all the characters jump around on a table singing many fast words that Quinn couldn't entirely comprehend. She loved the scene too though. She thought it looked like a lot of fun. She made a mental note to check and see if the Life Café still existed. If so, she decided that she and Rachel would have to go see it someday while they were in New York. Quinn knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up there. Quinn pulled the blanket back over her and Rachel before snuggling up to the shorter girl. Before she could stop herself she was slowly sliding her fingers upper girlfriend's thigh. She was getting dangerously close before Rachel stopped her. Quinn looked over at her and smiled but Rachel's eyes were glued to the television. Quinn decided to try again. She grabbed Rachel's small hands and brought them to her own center which was getting increasingly wetter by the moment. She slid Rachel's fingers down her dripping folds. The brunette's eyes were still focus on the television but Rachel slowly began to move her fingers on her own. Her fingers skimmed over Quinn's clit and she let out a moan.

"Quinn, are you ok?" LeRoy asked.

"Yeah, sorry, the baby." Quinn answered absentmindedly. She was more focused on the fact that Rachel's hand was gone. Quinn looked over at saw that Rachel was typing furiously on her cell phone. She put her phone down and a few moments later Quinn's own started flashing.

"Honey, we cannot do this right now. My dads are in the room and you my dear, are not quiet."

Quinn laughed and hit Rachel in the side, and then she started typing.

"I'm going to bet money that you are not quiet either, but we will cross that bridge later. As for now, I just feel like saying that you are no fun."

Rachel wasted no time responding.

"I told you that I would be fun later. You need to be patient."

"I don't know how to be patient." Quinn wrote back.

"Girls, you do know that we are aware that you are texting each other, right?" Hirum asked. That quickly ended the texting conversation.

Quinn was almost driven insane by how long this movie was. She really did enjoy it though and planned to watch it again one day when she could think of something other than making out with her girlfriend.

"No day but today." The last notes chimed and the girls bid goodnight to Hirum and LeRoy. Rachel's bedroom door was barely closed before Quinn's lips were on Rachel's.

"Can we please have fun now?" Quinn asked. Without waiting for a response she forced her tongue into Rachel's mouth. She pulled away and kissed Rachel down her neck. She quickly tore off the top of her uniform as well as Rachel's shirt. Quinn kissed down Rachel's chest and to her stomach. She knew the other girl wasn't comfortable with anything below her waist, so the blonde didn't push. She kissed back up to Rachel's lips listening to the shorter girl moan her name. As much as she loved tasting Rachel, she knew she was going to lose her mind if she didn't get any friction.

"Rachel, please." Without a word, Rachel shoved her hand down Quinn's skirt and started rubbing her clit furiously.

"You are going to have to be quiet." Rachel said.

Quinn knew it wouldn't take long and within a couple minutes, the blonde was tumbling over the edge.

Quinn allowed herself a couple minutes to calm down and then she crawled up and cuddled in the brunette's arms, laying her head on her chest and draping her leg over Rachel's.

After 20 minutes of lying in complete silence, the girls broke apart long enough to change into their pajamas. Then they resumed their position on the bed.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"Mmm?"

"Why do you want to be with me?" Rachel asked and Quinn could feel the brunette's heart beating faster.

"Where is this coming from?" Quinn asked completely confused.

"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you lying here in my arms." Rachel said and Quinn could tell Rachel was about to start crying.

Quinn quickly sat up and pulled the other girl into a hug.

"No, Rachel, sweetie, you do deserve this. Do you know how happy you make me? Why are you saying you don't deserve me?" Quinn stroked Rachel's hair as the brunette broke down.

"Because I won't sleep with you. And because of this." Rachel pulled away from the blonde and held out her wrists.

It was the first time Quinn had really looked at them. She could see the faded scars from many other cuts. Quinn grabbed her wrists and turned them back around. She let her fingers fall to the other girls and took her hands into her own.

"Everyone has bad habits. Even me, ok? Everyone deals differently. I'm not saying that what you are doing is even in the neighborhood of being ok, but you need to stop beating yourself up, sweetie. As far as the sex stuff goes, here's the deal: How about we put off the sex stuff until our hearts catch up with our hormones?"

"Really?" Rachel asked. "Are you sure you can do that?"

"Of course. As much as I love the feeling of you in me, I completely understand and it wasn't fair of me to push you. It will be so much better when we are both ready to experience it together. No more sex, ok?" Quinn looked into Rachel's chocolate eyes and she could tell the other girl was scared. "Sweetie, why are you scared?"

"I don't know." Rachel said as she looked down.

"Rachel, baby, look at me." Rachel slowly lifted her head. "Talk to me. It's just me. Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

"I'm afraid you are going to realize that you can do better than me. You're going to realize that I'm not worth anything. I'm afraid you are going to leave me and go be with someone prettier." Rachel's voice broke on the last words and she completely broke down in sobs. Instead of falling into Quinn to cry, she laid her head down on her pillows instead. Quinn felt her heart broke.

"No, Rachel." Quinn said as she pulled the girl into her arms once again. "Oh, sweetie, I hate that you think this. I want to be with you so badly. I know we have only been together for a few days, but I can feel myself falling for you more every day. Sweetie, please calm down. There is no one more beautiful to me than you. Ok? I'm not going anywhere. Ok? Shhhh, it's ok." Quinn tried so hard to calm down her girlfriend.

The blonde laid the brunette down on her side and laid behind her. Quinn wrapped her arm around the other girl's waist protectively. Rachel's sobs finally started to calm and soon the brunette was asleep.

"She is always going to hate herself." Quinn thought. "I hate this. How do I make her ok?" Quinn's mind was racing and before she knew it, she was fast asleep too.

Quinn's dreams were filled with her daughter. She was watching her daughter take her first steps and ride her first bike. She watched her open presents at her birthday's and Quinn dropped her off on her first day of school. Rachel was in every part of the dream standing next to her, holding her hand.

Quinn was woken up before the sun was up by Rachel leaving the bed. "No, stay." Quinn mumbled but before she could hear a response, she was asleep again. Next thing she knew, she was being woken up again, this time it was Rachel getting back into bed. Her hair was wet and it smelled like strawberries. "Shower?" Quinn asked still barely coherent.

"Yes, honey, I worked out and took a shower. Now go back to sleep. It's Saturday, we can sleep in." Rachel said as she put her arms around Quinn and cuddled back up with her. Quinn was fast asleep in seconds.

Quinn had nightmares this time around. Rachel was lying on the bathroom floor, blooding pouring from both wrists. Quinn tried so hard to get the brunette to wake up. "Rachel! Rachel!" Quinn kept screaming over and over again, shaking the smaller girl.

"Rachel!" Quinn screamed as she bolted upright. She was crying and she couldn't stop.

"Quinn, honey, I'm right here. Calm down, sweetie." Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn and she was stroking her hair, trying to get her to realize where she was. "Quinn, it's ok. You are at my house, in my bed. You're ok."

Quinn finally focused on the brunette's words. "You're ok?" Quinn asked.

"I'm fine, Quinn. What were you dreaming about?" Rachel asked as she pulled away from the blonde to look into her hazel eyes. "What happened?"

"You. You were lying on the bathroom floor. There was so much blood. I couldn't get you to wake up." Quinn dissolved into yet another fit of tears at the thought of losing the girl beside her.

"I'm here, ok? No blood. I'm here, honey." Rachel wrapped her arms around the other girl again and held her until Quinn was finally able to calm down.

"Please don't do that, ever, ok? You're worth it. I need you to stay around. I want to be with you always." Quinn said remember the conversation the night before and her horrible nightmare.

"I want to be with you too." Rachel said. "I don't think I'm worth it, but I don't want to be apart from you. Come on, you need to eat something. It's after 12pm and I'm most certain that sweet girl inside of you is starving."

"No, no food, please." Quinn felt her stomach get queasy at the mention of eating. "My daughter doesn't want food right now."

"Your daughter? I don't know if I have ever actually heard you call her that." Rachel smiled.

"I want her, Rachel. I want to keep her. I don't know if I can, but I really want to." Quinn put her hands on her stomach.

"What happened to make you want that so suddenly?" Rachel asked.

"My first dream last night. I saw her through all these stages in her life. I don't think I can deal with not knowing her." Quinn said leaving out the part about Rachel being there with her in the dream.

"Well if that is what you want, you know I will be here with you every step of the way." Rachel smiled. "How about you take a shower and try to shake that nightmare. I'm going to go get something to eat because I'm not pregnant and I am starving." Rachel leaned down to give Quinn a quick kiss and she disappeared out the bedroom door.

Quinn didn't realize she was shaking until she got in the shower. That nightmare was horrible and she hoped it never came true. After she was done, she quickly changed into jeans and a yellow top, thankful that she didn't have to wear her uniform today and headed downstairs.

"Good morning, Quinn." LeRoy said with a smile. "How did you sleep?"

Quinn glanced over to Rachel to see if she had mentioned anything, and decided that she hadn't.

"Very well, thank you." Quinn smiled back.

"Quinn, do you feel up to eating anything yet?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe some toast?" Quinn answered. She wasn't feeling queasy anymore but she wasn't hungry either. Quinn tried to get up to make it herself but Rachel made her sit down.

"So what are you girls up to today?" Hirum asked.

"Well we are going to go to Quinn's to get some more of her clothes, since she will be crashing here for the next few days and then we are going to go to a party at Noah's tonight." Rachel said matter-of-factly while preparing Quinn's food.

"Alright, sounds good. Midnight curfew. Oh and Rachel?" Hirum asked.

"Yeah, dad?"

"No drinking." Both men said in unison.

Quinn couldn't help but smile.

After breakfast the girls drove over to Quinn's house and she ran inside and quickly packed her Cheerios bag with as many clothes as would fit. She was thankful that her parents didn't seem to be around. She really didn't want to deal with them. They headed by the Berry residence and decided on Rockband until they had to get ready.

"Ok so what do I do?" Quinn asked. She hadn't ever played a video game in her life and was completely confused.

"Ok, you put your fingers here on the guitar." Rachel's fingers covered Quinn's as she showed her what to do. "And you play the correct finger that matches with the color on the screen. Push your finger down when the note gets to the line. Understand?"

"Not really," Quinn said as she giggled. She was seriously confused.

"Ok, how about we play a song and I promise you will get the hang of it."

Rachel picked some random tune that Quinn had never heard before and they started playing. Rachel was singing and Quinn was so mesmerized she forgot to push down her buttons. All of a sudden the words 'FAIL' flashed across the screen.

"What happened?" Quinn asked. She hated losing.

"You have to actually play the notes, honey." Rachel said as she collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Sorry, I got distracted." Quinn laughed.

"By what? We are the only people in here."

"By you." Quinn blushed.

"Right, ok well let's try again and this time, play!" Rachel laughed again and pushed the start over button on the song.

Quinn picked up the game pretty quickly and before they knew it, three hours had gone by. The blonde was surprised at how exhausted she felt from the game. She had taken a try at the drums and singing too, but she liked the guitar the best.

"Sweetie, I think we have to get ready now." Quinn took Rachel's hand and led her up the stairs. Both girls decided on jeans and black tops. Quinn's was a halter and Rachel's was a tank top. Quinn curled Rachel's hair and flat ironed her own. After applying their make-up the girls were all set to go.

"You look really hot, Quinn." Rachel smiled.

"You look pretty hot yourself, Rach." Quinn smiled back and grabbed Rachel's hand as they walked down the stairs."

"Girls, you look beautiful. Be home by midnight, have fun and-" Hirum said but Rachel cut him off.

"No drinking. Yeah dad, I got it." She rolled her eyes and led Quinn to the car.

The drive to Puck's was short and by the time they arrived, the rest of the Glee club seemed to already be there. The house was full of jocks and cheerleaders, along with a few select other cool students.

Puck immediately came up to the girls and offered them beer.

"Puck, are you a moron? I'm pregnant." Quinn asked as she pushed away the beer.

"And that's my fault?" Puck responded and Rachel laughed as she took the beer from his hands.

"Rachel, your dad's said no drinking." Quinn tried to take the cup away from the other girl.

"What they don't know won't hurt them. I want to have fun. Please?" Rachel asked with those chocolate puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." Quinn said as she looked over at Puck who had a weird look on his face. "What, Puck?"

"Will you make out with her right now? Please?" He asked.

"No you perv. Come on Rachel." Quinn grabbed her hand and led her over to the other Glee kids.

3 beers later and Rachel was completely trashed. It was amazing at how much of a lightweight the girl was. Quinn thought it was funny watching her attempt to do Karaoke with Kurt. She could barely stand up straight. Quinn thought it was the perfect opportunity to go find her best friends.

"Hey Mercedes, make sure Puck doesn't try anything with Rachel." Mercedes nodded before Quinn went off to find Santana and Brittany.

"It didn't take long for her to find them. They were making out in the corner of the living room. As Quinn got closer, she could tell that Santana was fingering Brittany.

"Really girls? You can't find a room? Or at least a blanket? The rest of us don't want to see that." Quinn said as the pair broke apart.

"What the fuck do you want, Q?" Santana asked, clearly pissed that she wasn't able to finish getting her girl off.

"We need to chat." Quinn said.

"Britt, will you go make sure that Puck doesn't try to take advantage of Rachel. One pregnant teen is about all that Glee can take." She leaned over and kissed the taller blonde before turning back to Quinn.

"What?" Santana asked.

"I just wanted to say thank you for talking to Rachel." Quinn said.

"You seriously interrupted me touching my girlfriend, to say thank you?" The Latina sniped.

"Yes and also to say that if Rachel needs someone to talk to, I need you to talk to her. Ok?"

"Why me? You're her girlfriend. Why can't she talk to you? Or Ms. P?" Santana asked as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"She is going to talk to Ms. Pillsbury on Monday, but she don't talk to me. I don't know why. Maybe she doesn't think I understand."

"Well you don't," Santana said.

"R-right," Quinn said back surprised at how much the Latina's words hurt her. "That's why I need you to talk to her if she comes to you."

"Fine, Q, but only because it's you asking, plus Berry isn't really that bad to be around when she isn't obsessing about music."

"Thanks, S, really." Quinn pulled the other girl into a hug. "Now come on, let's go find your girlfriend so you two can get back to what you were doing."

They walked back into the other room and saw Kurt and Mercedes belting out some Britney Spears song.

"Where's Rachel?" Quinn asked, her mind automatically thinking of Puck.

"She's over here. I think she's sick." Brittany said as Quinn walked over to see her girlfriend lying on the couch with her head in Brittany's lap.

"She isn't sick, B. She's drunk. Now come on. Later, Q." Santana said as she grabbed Brittany, careful not to jostle the other brunette and the 2 of them walked upstairs.

"Hey, sweetie." Quinn said as she took Brittany's seat on the couch. "How are you feeling?"

"The room is spinning very fast. Please make it stop." Rachel slurred.

"I can't, baby, but we should probably get you home. Come on, get up." Quinn said as she hoisted the girl up thankful the brunette didn't puke on her.

"Mike, Matt can you help me get her to the car?" Quinn asked as the 2 men came rushing over. Before long, Quinn was driving home with Rachel sprawled out in the back seat. When she reached the house, she quickly got Rachel out of the car and started the long walk up to her front door. Quinn could see the living room lights on and knew that the male Berry's were still up.

"Damn." Quinn said as she opening the front door and slowly made it through the front door.

"Is she ok?" Hirum and LeRoy were at Rachel's side in an instance.

"Yeah, she just had a little bit too much to drink." Quinn said as she helped the men up the stairs with their daughter.

"I thought we told her not to drink. Did you do this? Was this another one of your cheerleading pranks?" Hirum demanded and Quinn felt her heart hurt. She thought she was making leeway with the not so nice Berry.

"No, of course not. You know how stubborn she is. I tried to take the drinks from her but she wouldn't listen. I'm sorry." Quinn said as she looked at her feet. "I will take care of her though. Thanks for getting her up the stairs."

"If she wakes up, tell her she is grounded. You too for that matter." LeRoy said.

"But I don't live here." Quinn said very confused.

"Yeah well, you have been staying here and we saw the bag of clothes you brought over. Rachel told us you don't like your parents so you are grounded too. Neither of you will leave this house until school on Monday. Understand?" LeRoy said.

"Yes, sir." Quinn said but she couldn't help but smile. "Goodnight."

The men took one last look at their daughter before leaving the room.

The rest of the weekend was spent in the bathroom with Quinn holding Rachel's hair while Rachel wailed that she would never drink again.

Monday came around and that meant Rachel's talk with Ms. Pillsbury.

"Are you ready?" Quinn asked as they stood outside the councilor's door.

"No," Rachel said but Quinn took her hand and led her into the office anyway.

"Good morning, girls. Is everything alright?" The redhead said as the girls sat down in front of her desk.

"Rachel has something she needs to talk about. A bad habit she has been dealing with." Quinn started. The blonde had agreed to tell the women what Rachel had been doing since Rachel wasn't sure she would be able to form the words herself.

"Is this about that time I caught you trying to puke your guts out in the girl's bathroom?" Emma asked.

"Wait, what?" Quinn said as she turned to Rachel open mouthed.

"I tried and failed and won't ever attempt it again. Besides Quinn, you have no place to judge. I know all you Cheerios have insane eating disorders." Rachel said and Quinn couldn't deny it so she turned back to the red head who was cleaning her desk with anti bacteria hand sanitizer.

"Rachel has been cutting herself." Quinn said. It was quiet for a moment before the loud speaker kicked on. "Quinn Fabray please report to Ms. Sylvester's office immediately."

Quinn tensed up. Of all the times to have to leave Rachel.

"Rachel, sweetie, are you ok to stay here by yourself now that Ms. Pillsbury knows."

"Yes," Rachel answered quietly and Quinn could tell she was scared.

"She is just going to talk to you ok? Just be honest." Quinn leaned over and kissed Rachel's lips before standing up and heading out the door.

She couldn't imagine what the psycho coach wanted this time.

"You wanted to see me?" Quinn asked and she stepped into the office.

"Sit down, Q." She did as she was told. "It has come to my attention that you are pregnant."

"How do you know that," Quinn asked as her mind started racing.

"Brittany told me. That girl is really bad at keeping secrets. Anyway, I can't have a pregnant girl on my squad. You are off. Turn in your uniform to me tomorrow." Sue said. "That is all."

Quinn turned and left the office without a word. She really wasn't upset. She knew she was going to have to quit the Cheerios but she hadn't expected to get kicked off.

She ran back to Ms. Pillsbury's office and waited for Rachel to get done talking.

"How was it?" Quinn asked as they walked down the hallway.

"It was ok. She wants me to come talk to her twice a week." Rachel replied.

"Are you ok with that?" Quinn asked.

"I don't know." Rachel replied as the girls got in the car to head home.

The next few months passed by without incident. Quinn spent most of her time with Rachel at the Berry's house. She actually enjoyed not having to be a Cheerio. It gave her more time with kept seeing Ms. Pillsbury twice a week. Quinn used to ask how it went after every session but Rachel never seemed to want to talk about it, so Quinn stopped pushing. They enjoyed their lives and the rest of the fall and beginning of winter. They were happy. Until Puck's annual New Year's Eve party. That when all hell broke loose.


	16. Chapter 16

"Honey! I'm home!" Rachel yelled as she walked into the house. It was New Year's Eve and Rachel's dads had gone to visit Hirum's parents in Dallas. Rachel had opted to stay home. They still didn't know about the girls dating. Rachel really wanted to tell them, but she really liked Quinn getting to sleep over.

"Hey, sweetie! I'm in your room!" Quinn yelled down the stairs. Rachel had been babysitting some kids down the street all day. She had invited Quinn to come but she hadn't been feeling too great.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked as she walked into the bedroom surprised to see that her room looked like a tornado had come through it. "Um, Quinn, honey, what happened in here?"

"I was finding outfits for us for Puck's party tonight." She looked up at Rachel with a huge grin on her face.

"You're going to clean it up right?" Rachel asked as her slight OCD kicked in.

"I'm pregnant and tired. I'll clean it up later." Quinn said as she laid back on the bed. Quinn was barely showing still even thought she was in her 4th month.

"Whatever," Rachel laughed. "I will clean it up for you because I lo-because you're pregnant." Rachel stopped herself from saying the 3 words she wanted to say more than anything. She was head over heels in love with the blonde, but she was afraid of saying it. She still didn't feel like she was worth anything, especially being with Quinn. She had started seeing Ms. Pillsbury a couple months ago but she hadn't stopped cutting herself. She liked her habit; it was the only thing she knew to do to deal with the pain in her life. Quinn didn't know this though. Every time she did it, she just told Quinn she was on her period or not in the mood, so that she wouldn't see the cuts while they were making out.

Rachel started reassembling her room, "So, what are we wearing tonight?" She asked knowing that the other girl had picked everything out for the evening.

"You are wearing that jean skirt and your purple halter top with your black wedges. I am wearing jeans with my yellow top and my black shoes." Quinn answered with her eyes still closed.

"Oh really?" Rachel asked as she climbed on the bed and straddled her girlfriend.

"Yep," Quinn replied, eyes still closed.

Rachel leaned down and slowly kissed her girlfriend. Rachel could feel the familiar tightening in her abdomen. All she wanted to do was be with Quinn. She pulled away knowing that they wouldn't be having sex until one of them said 'I love you.' She laid down next to Quinn snuggling into her shoulder, pulling her body as closely as she could to her girlfriend.

"How long until we have to start getting ready?" Rachel asked.

"A couple hours." Quinn answered.

"Good." Rachel smiled as she breathed in Quinn's scent. There was nowhere else in the world she would rather be. Quinn's breathing became slower as the pregnant girl fell asleep. Rachel wasn't tired though, so she laid next to her girlfriend for 2 hours, memorizing every little part of her.

It didn't take them too long to get ready. Even though they were 2 girls, they worked well as a team. Quinn did both their hair in curls and they quickly applied their makeup. After changing, they were ready to go.

"So, my dear, what did we learn at Puck's last party?" Quinn asked teasing Rachel as they were on their way to Puck's.

"Don't drink anything, especially if Noah gives it to me." Rachel shuddered as she remembered being hung over.

"Good girl." Quinn smiled as she took Rachel's hand in her own. Rachel stuck her tongue out.

They walked into the party and saw that it was mostly the same people that were at the last one. They quickly found the rest of the Glee kids and sat down on one of the more empty couches. They kept their hands clasped as they began talking to the rest of the club.

"I still can't get over all that drama that went on at Sectionals." Mercedes said.

"I k-k-know." Tina stuttered.

"So do y'all thing that Mr. Schue and Ms. P. are going to get together now?" Mercedes asked the group.

"Without a doubt." Kurt replied "They are totally meant to be."

Rachel looked around to see what the other Glee kids were up to since they weren't participating in the conversation. Mike and Matt were trying to learn some new dance move. Santana and Brittany were making out on the other couch. "At least I can see their hands." Rachel thought to herself. Puck and Finn were talking to some of the football players.

After a couple hours, Rachel was pretty bored. She had finally convinced Quinn to let her have 1 drink but it wasn't having much of an effect on her. She walked back into the living room to find Quinn to see if they could leave. She heard Santana's yelling before she even reached the room. She walked over to Quinn and watched the scene unfold.

"Get your fucking hands off me, Puck!" Santana squirmed as Puck tried to get her to go upstairs with him. "I don't want to go upstairs with you. I want to go back to my girlfriend. Let go of me." Santana kneed him hard in the balls.

"What the fuck, bitch." Puck stammered out as he collapsed to the ground. "I'm good enough to fuck when you are fighting with Brittany but not now?"

Rachel saw something she had never seen in the Latina's eyes before. Fear. Santana whipped around until she was facing Brittany. Slowly the blonde's brain comprehended what Puck had just said.

"S, what is he talking about?" Brittany asked.

Santana opened her mouth but didn't seem to be able to form words.

"When did you sleep with him?" Brittany asked.

"Last year. When we got in that big fight." Santana said quietly.

"But you loved me. You told me that sex was dating and that you only wanted to sleep with me. That you only wanted to be with me. How could you do this?" Brittany said and suddenly Rachel thought that maybe the blonde wasn't as dumb as she seemed.

"Baby, I'm sorry." Santana said as she tried to pull her girlfriend into a hug.

"No, stop." Brittany said as she pushed away. "You said you loved me, but you clearly don't. I may be dumb sometimes but I'm not stupid. You lied to me. For a year, you lied to me. How could you say that you only want to me with me and then screw Puck?"

Rachel noticed for the first time that a crowd had formed around the cheerleaders.

"Please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Santana said. Rachel hated seeing this side of the Latina. It was painful to watch.

"No, I can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. We're done." Brittany said and with that she walked out of the room.

Santana stood there for a moment before she realized that everyone was looking at her. "What the fuck are you staring at? Go away." She snapped.

People knew not to mess with Santana so they quickly went back to what they were doing before the Cheerios exploded.

Rachel could see tears beginning to form in Santana's eyes as the Latina tore up the stairs.

"Rachel, I have to go." Quinn said as she ran up the stairs after her friend.

Rachel stood there for a moment before she decided to go up after her girlfriend. Rachel couldn't believe what she saw when she opened the door to the room the girls were in.

Santana was curled up in Quinn's arms sobbing. The blonde was trying to reassure her.

"It'll be ok, S." Quinn said as she gently rubbed the Latina's back.

"No, it won't. She hates me. I'm so stupid. It didn't even mean anything. I was just drunk." Santana cried.

"You're preaching to the choir, sweetie."

"I love her so much. I want to be with her more than anything."

"I know, Santana, I know."

Quinn looked up at saw Rachel standing there. "What's up, Rach?" Santana whipped around.

"Go away, Berry." Santana yelled.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok." Rachel said.

"Rachel, go check on Brittany. I think we are ok here." Quinn said as she hugged Santana tighter.

"But-" Rachel started.

"Go." Quinn almost yelled at her and Rachel could see the old Quinn in her eyes. Rachel was surprised that she didn't add a "Manhands" to the end of that.

"Quinn," Rachel started.

"I told you to go away. Now." Quinn said.

Rachel felt like her heart had been ripped out as her girlfriend told her to go away.

Rachel walked out of the room too stunned to even comprehend anything. The old Quinn was back. The Quinn that hated Rachel was back. Rachel didn't even realize that she was crying until she made it back downstairs. She quickly scanned the room and saw that Brittany was sitting in the corner crying.

"Hey, Britt, are you ok?" Rachel asked as she sat down next to her.

"I don't understand, Rachel. Santana told me that she loved me. She said she only wanted to be with me. She has always protected me. I don't know what to do now." Brittany said through tears.

"Brittany, you will be ok, I promise. Santana loves you more than life itself. You guys will make up. You both just need time to cool down." Rachel said as she stroked the blonde's hair.

"No, Rachel. I can't be with her anymore. She cheated on me." Brittany looked into Rachel's eyes.

"Trust me, you and that girl are meant to be. Everything will work out between you. I get how you are feeling. If Quinn ever cheated on me, I don't know how I would be able to forgive her, but I'm pretty sure I would eventually be able to. This is how I know that you will be able to forgive Santana and you guys will be back together soon." Rachel said. This seemed to calm Brittany down and soon she wasn't crying at all. Rachel looked at her watch and saw that it had been about 30 minutes since Quinn had told her to leave. The blonde and Latina still hadn't emerged. "Britt are you going to be ok?" The blonde nodded.

"Thanks, Rachel."

Rachel left her and went and found Mercedes. "Hey will you make sure Quinn makes it home? I'm not feeling so great." Rachel said and she nodded.

Rachel was thankful that the girls had driven her car to the party. She got in and drove to her house, memories of every mean thing Quinn had ever said to her flooding her brain. She was in tears as she walked up to her bedroom and collapsed on her pillows that smelled like Quinn. She buried herself into her covers and pillows trying to remember the girl who she loved, but all she could see was Quinn telling her to go away. Rachel knew that Quinn needed to help her friend, but that uneasy feeling had returned. She knew that Quinn still loved Santana in some way. She also knew that Santana was prettier than her and better than her in every way. Well except singing. Rachel hated herself.

Rachel got up, took a shower and changed into her pajamas. She looked at her clock and saw that it had been an hour and a half since she left the party. Quinn still hadn't called. Rachel got back into bed and tried to make herself go to sleep. She missed her girlfriend though. She drifted in and out of sleep. Finally she heard Quinn come in.

"Rachel, are you awake?" Quinn whispered.

"No, go away." Rachel said back. She had wanted the blonde so badly but now she just wanted her to go away.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked and Rachel felt the bed sink down as Quinn sat next to her.

"How's Santana?" Rachel asked.

"She isn't doing so well. She is going to come home with me and stay for a while. I was just coming to get my things since I won't be here until Santana is feeling better." Quinn said as she got up to collect her things.

"She is staying with you? She has parents. Why can't she stay at home?" Rachel exclaimed as she jump out of bed.

"She doesn't want to stay in her house, it reminds her too much of Brittany right now." Quinn said. "Why are you getting so upset?"

"Because she is staying with you!" Rachel yelled, all her insecurities filling her head.

"So what? She is my best friend." Quinn answered back with her hands on her hips.

"That may be, but she was also the first person you slept with and your many times after that. I know you still love her in some way." Rachel said as she put her arms across her chest.

"So what, you think I'm going to cheat on you with her?"

"You did it to Finn. See exhibit A," Rachel said as she pointed to Quinn's stomach.

"That's not fair and you know it. I was never in love with Finn. I would never do that to you. You don't trust me?" Quinn said back.

"So you love me?" Rachel asked.

"Not right now. Do you trust me?" Quinn asked again.

Rachel thought for a second before she said, "No, I don't."

"Fine. We need a break. Don't call me." Quinn said as she stormed out of the room.

"I wasn't planning to." Rachel called back.

As soon as she heard the front door slam shut, she headed to the bathroom, grabbed the closer razor blade she could find and drug it across her wrist. She didn't care anymore. She didn't want to feel anything. She quickly doctored her wrist and climbed into her bed. She picked up her phone. She wanted to apologize so badly, but she knew she couldn't. She hadn't entirely meant what she said, although some of it was true. She didn't know what to do. She tossed and turned until she finally fell asleep, nightmares filling her dreams.


	17. Chapter 17

Quinn was pissed. No scratch that. Quinn was livid. Quinn couldn't believe that Rachel didn't trust her. She stormed out of the Berry house and into Santana's car where the Latina was wasted. After she had finally calmed her friend down, Santana had decided she needed to dull the pain with whatever alcohol she could find and she found a lot. It took a lot to get Santana drunk though, so while she was trashed, she was still completely coherent. It was a strange sight.

"Q, what's wrong?" Santana asked as Quinn got into the driver's seat and headed towards her house.

"Rachel. I think we broke up. Or we are taking a break. Or something. I don't know." Quinn said as she pushed down her hurt feelings. She wanted to stick to angry right now.

"What did she do? Go back! I will kick her tiny ass." Santana said as she started to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Stop, S, we aren't going back. She said she doesn't trust me because you are staying with me. If she doesn't trust me, then fine, I will give her a reason to not trust me." Quinn said as she pulled into the driveway of her house. "Let's go, S."

Quinn's parents were asleep which wasn't too shocking since it was 2 am and her parents had been passed out since probably around 10. It was the same thing every night. Quinn led Santana up to her bedroom and pushed her down on the bed. She turned around and shut and locked the door. "Are you drunk enough to do this?" Quinn asked as she straddled her ex lover.

"Hell yes." Santana replied and Quinn knew she was just as desperate to forget everything from the night as Quinn was.

Quinn crushed her lips to Santana's before forcing her tongue into the Latina's mouth without waiting for permission. Santana moaned into her mouth. Quinn ran her tongue around the other girl's mouth. She didn't taste like Rachel, but she tasted familiar and that's all Quinn cared about right now. She stopped kissing Santana and ripped off both their clothes. She didn't see the reason to take her time with this. She straddled Santana once more, grinding their naked bodies together. She took Santana's nipple into her mouth and smiled when she felt it instantly harden. Santana's hands moved from Quinn's hips to her breasts and Quinn moaned at the touch. "God, Santana. I missed this." That was true. She wasn't sure she missed Santana, but she sure as hell missed sex.

She ground harder into Santana's hips, their clits rubbing together. Harder and faster, but Quinn needed more. More friction, more touching. She stopped what she was doing and Santana growled. "Wait," Quinn said as she smiled. She got off of Santana and dipped her head between the Latina's legs. She thrust her tongue into Santana and the Latina arched her back, trying to get Quinn's tongue to go further. "You need more, baby?" Quinn asked as she smirked into the brunette's core.

"Fuck, yes, Quinn. Now." Santana moaned as Quinn thrust 3 fingers into her. Santana was so wet, that she slid in easily. "Fuck," Santana yelled out as she tangled her fingers into Quinn's hair. The blonde thrust in and out, in and out and Santana couldn't stop arching her back and moaning. "More, more." Santana kept saying. Quinn could feel the other girl tightening after a few minutes and Quinn was about to put her mouth to the other girl's clit to make her come when Santana stopped her. "Wait, wait, Quinn stop," Santana gasped.

"What? What's wrong?" Quinn asked as she looked up into Santana's deep brown eyes.

"Come here," Santana said and Quinn did as she was told, but she left her fingers in the other girl. "You need to have fun too." Santana growled as she plunged her fingers into the blonde. Quinn hadn't realized how wet she was or how much she wanted to feel the other girl inside her until Santana was in her.

"That's feels so good, S." Quinn moaned as the Latina started thrusting in and out of her core, flicking her clit with her thumb.

"Harder?" Santana asked.

"Yes, yes, yes." Quinn chanted as the other girl went deeper. It took Quinn a few moments to remember she was still in the Latina, too. She started pumping her own fingers again mirroring the other girl. It didn't take long before Quinn could feel the familiar tightening in her abs and she knew she was about to explode. "Are you?" Quinn whispered into Santana's ear.

"God, yes, don't stop, faster." Santana screamed and Quinn knew it would only take a little more before they both tumbled over the edge. Santana started rubbing her clit harder and Quinn did the same to the other girl. They both curled their fingers and then they were gone. The girls screamed out in pleasure.

They were trembling, shaking from the intensity of their mutual orgasms. They laid back on the bed once they had calmed down, Quinn's head on Santana's chest.

"You know we are going to regret this in the morning, right?" Santana asked.

"I don't care right now. I just want to lay here with you and fall asleep in your arms. I don't want to think about Rachel or Brittany or anything. Please, S?" Quinn asked and she could feel that hurt she was trying to suppress coming to the surface.

"Ok, Quinn." Santana wrapped her arms around the other girl and squeezed her trying to reassure her. Between the fighting, the alcohol and the sex, both girls were asleep almost instantly.

Quinn woke up in the morning feeling hung over even though she hadn't had anything to drink the night before. She felt an arm on her stomach and it took her a minute to remember that it was Santana and not the girl she loved. The memories from the night before came flooding back to her. Brittany and Santana's fight, Santana's drinking, her fight with Rachel, the sex with Santana. The sex with Santana.

"Oh, God." Quinn said as she ran to the bathroom. She was going to be sick and for once it wasn't her daughter that was causing it. After she had emptied the entire contents of her stomach, she realized she was naked. "Shit, what did I do?" Quinn thought as she walked back to her room to find her clothes.

"Quinn? What are you doing? Come back to bed." Santana said as she sat up.

"No. No more bed. No more bed ever again with us. This is bad. This is really bad, S." Quinn said as she pulled on her shirt.

"We didn't do anything wrong. You said you and Rachel broke up." Santana said as she got out of bed to get dressed too.

"No we didn't. We just took a break. She is never going to forgive me. Shit. Why did I do this?" Quinn said as she collapsed to the ground.

"Listen to me, Q, she loves you. She is going to be pissed, but she will forgive you eventually. If you are that worried, then just don't tell her. It's not like we are going to be doing it all the time. It was a onetime thing." Santana said.

"I have to tell her. I'm not keeping it from her like I did with Puck and Finn. What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? I'm horrible." Quinn said

"You're not horrible. I did it too, remember? I did the same thing to Brittany." Santana's face dropped as she remembered everything that happened with her girlfriend. "What am I going to do about Brittany?"

"We're both really dumb, S." Quinn said.

"Yeah, we are. I need to go talk to Brittany." Santana said.

"I have to go talk to Rachel." Quinn said back.

"Call me later?" Santana said as she left the room.

Quinn sat on her floor, not moving for over an hour. She just kept running over and over what she did in her mind. She kept thinking about how she was going to have to tell Rachel. She knew Rachel wasn't going to forgive her. Why would she? She had no reason to ever forgive her. She knew she was completely screwed.

She finally got up and walked over to Rachel's. Her car was still there from the night before and the walk would give her more time to think. It was only 6 blocks away and she reached the front door sooner than she would have liked. She rang the doorbell and waited.

"What do you want?" Rachel asked as she swung open the door.

"We need to talk. Can I come in?" Quinn asked quietly.

"Fine." Rachel said as she stepped aside and Quinn walked into the house.

They sat on opposite couches and stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Rachel finally broke the silence.

"So what do you want?" Rachel asked, both hurt and anger in her voice.

"I'm really sorry for being such a bitch last night. Whenever I see Santana hurt, I switch into this weird mode where I have to take care of her. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I get it. I think it's great that you want to take care of her, but you told me to go away. You turned into the old Quinn again. That look on your face was the same look you used to get when you would call me Manhands." Rachel said as she looked down.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be mean. I was just so concerned about what Santana was going to do that I didn't stop to think about how you would feel. I came over here last night to make sure that you were ok and to tell you that Santana needed me and you got so angry. Why?" Quinn asked.

"Because I know there is some part of you that loves her. I know she is so much better than me at everything. She's so much prettier." Rachel answered.

"Yes, I love Santana. I really do, but Rachel, I want to be with you. You are so much more amazing than she is." Quinn said as she sat down next to her girlfriend. "You are the most beautiful person in the world to me, sweetie. I need you to understand that." Quinn looked into Rachel's chocolate eyes and she was hit with so much guilt.

"I can't understand that, but I want to be with you too. Can we please just be ok? I'm sorry for everything I said that night. I didn't mean it. I was just upset that you were being mean to me. I was scared you were going to become that mean Quinn again. I really don't want to see that Quinn again." Rachel said as she pulled her girlfriend in a hug.

"I want to forget everything too." She pushed her girlfriend away, "But I have to tell you something first. Something that you aren't going to like, but I have to tell you."

"Quinn, you're scaring me." Rachel said as she looked straight into Quinn's eyes.

"I know and you're going to hate me after I tell you this, but last night after I left you, I was really, really angry and Santana was drunk-" Quinn started.

"No, I don't want to hear this." Rachel stood up and started to walk away.

"Rachel stop." Quinn said as she grabbed Rachel's arm.

"Let go of me, Quinn." Rachel said as she jerked her arm away.

"Please, Rachel."

"Did you sleep with her?" Rachel asked.

Quinn didn't say anything.

"You slept with her last night didn't you?" Rachel asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm sorry, Rachel, I'm so sorry." Quinn dissolved into tears.

"No, you don't get to cry. You did this. I knew I had a reason to not trust you." Rachel yelled.

"You can trust me, Rachel. I hate myself for doing this."

"Good, you should. Get out of my house. We are through. For good this time." Rachel said as she started up the stairs.

"Rachel, please."

"Go, away slut." Rachel said without turning around.

Quinn felt like she couldn't breathe. She stood in Rachel's living room for a few minutes before she grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

Quinn cried the entire way home and by the time she reached her house, her face was red and puffy, but she didn't even care. Her mother greeted her when she walked through the door.

"Where have you been?" Judy Fabray asked her daughter.

"Why do you care?" Quinn snapped back.

"Excuse me?" Judy asked.

"Sorry, mom, it's been a really bad day." Quinn said.

"Well maybe some exercise would make you feel better. Now that you are off the Cheerios you are starting to get a little soft around your stomach." Judy said as she looked at Quinn's stomach in disgust. Quinn protectively put her hand on her belly.

"Maybe another day? I'm not in the mood right now, I just want to go upstairs and watch a movie. Bye, mom." Quinn said as she walked upstairs and shut her bedroom door behind her. She grabbed The Notebook off her shelf and put it in the player. Then she changed into one of Rachel's T-shirts that she stole and curled up in her bed, breathing in the smell of her now ex-girlfriend. She broke down sobbing. She felt so stupid, so awful. She wanted her girlfriend back so badly. Sometime during her sob fest, she must've fallen asleep because the next thing she new, her phone was ringing and it was dark outside. The caller ID said LeRoy Berry.

"Hello?" Quinn asked as her heart stopped. Rachel's parents never called her.

"Quinn, you need to get to the hospital right away. Rachel's in the emergency room." LeRoy said through tears.

"What happened?" Quinn asked completely terrified.

"You need to come now." LeRoy said before he hung up.

Quinn grabbed her purse and tore out of the house, so afraid of what she was going to find when she got to the hospital.


	18. Chapter 18

"Rachel Berry. Where is Rachel Berry?" Quinn asked the receptionist at the desk as she stormed into the ER.

"Quinn, honey," LeRoy said as he came up behind her. She turned around and he engulfed her in a hug. "They took her back. We don't know what's going on. They haven't come back out yet."

"What happened? What's wrong with her? Please tell me she is ok." Quinn was shaking so hard so could barely focus on anything else. She looked over at Hirum who just had his head in his hands.

"We don't know if she is ok. We got back from our trip about an hour ago. We walked into Rachel's room and saw her on the bathroom floor. There was so much blood. She wouldn't wake up so we brought her here. They said she is alive but she had lost a lot of blood so they were going to try to stabilize her." LeRoy said and Quinn could tell he was trying so hard to not cry.

"Why was their so much blood?" Quinn asked already knowing the answer.

"She cut her wrists. Why would she do something like that?" Hirum spoke for the first time.

"I don't know." Quinn said, even though she knew exactly why Rachel did it and suddenly she was feeling lightheaded. She stumbled and LeRoy caught her arm before she fell.

"Sit down." LeRoy said as he guided her to a chair.

"What if she isn't ok? She has to be ok." Quinn said, mostly to God, before she broke down in tears.

The 3 of them sat in silence for the next couple of hours. Quinn felt so guilty she could barely breathe. "It's my fault," She kept thinking over and over.

Sometime in those 2 hours, Quinn texted Santana to let her know what happened. The Latina was going to come up to the hospital but Quinn managed to convince her that that would be a very bad idea.

"Should I let the rest of the Glee kids know?" Quinn finally asked.

"Not yet. I don't think Rachel would be too happy about the rest of the club knowing what she did. The only reason you are here is because you are her girlfriend and she loves you." LeRoy said.

Quinn cringed at the word girlfriend and a whole new wave of guilt washed over her. "How long have you known that we were dating?" Quinn asked.

"Since that day you came down the stairs with your hair a complete mess." Hirum smiled at her.

"Right. Why did you keep pretending that you didn't know? More importantly why did you let us continue to sleep in the same bed?" Quinn asked since she knew that was the most important part to Rachel.

"For a few reasons. The first is that we can see how much our daughter loves you." More guilt surged through Quinn. "The second is that we figured that Rachel was smart enough to wait until she was ready to have sex. Lastly, you are already pregnant so we figured you guys couldn't get into too much trouble." LeRoy finished with a smile.

"We didn't, you know, have sex. She wanted to wait. You raised a very smart girl." Quinn said as tears filled Rachel's dad's eyes. Quinn knew she had to tell them what she had done. "There is something I need to tell you guys." Quinn started but just then, the nurse came out.

"Who are the parents of Rachel Berry?"

All 3 of them jumped up. "We are," Hirum said.

"Ok, well your daughter has lost a lot of blood but we were able to stabilize her. She is in the ICU for now. We are going to have to keep her for mandatory 72 hour suicide watch, but she should be just fine. She should wake up in a few hours." The nurse said as all 3 of them sighed in relief.

"Can we see her?" LeRoy asked.

"Yes, but family only," the nurse said as she looked at Quinn.

"She is family. She is our other daughter." Hirum said and Quinn thought she was going to start crying all over again. Not only was Hirum being nice to her, but she felt even guiltier now that he was.

"Alright, well then, follow me." The nurse led them through a series of hallways finally stopping outside of a door. "Go on in, the doctor should be in to check on her in a couple hours."

The 3 of them said thank you before walking into Rachel's room. Quinn felt like she couldn't breathe. The tiny brunette was ghost white, covered up in multiple blankets. There were multiple IV's and machines hooked up to her. Quinn's eyes immediately fell to the girls wrists, which were wrapped up in white gauze.

"Oh my God." Quinn gasped. She looked dead. "I need to sit down."

Hirum pulled up 1 chair on the left side of Rachel for Quinn and 2 chairs on the right side for them. They all sat down. Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own and slowly traced the gauze on her ex-girlfriend's wrist.

"Rachel, please wake up. I need you to wake up. My daughter needs you to wake up. Please." Quinn begged. Hirum and LeRoy looked at her as she cried.

"Quinn, they said she will wake up in a few hours. She is going to be ok, honey." LeRoy said trying to calm the blonde girl in front of him.

"I think I need some air. Do you guys need anything to drink or eat?" Quinn asked. Both men shook their heads.

Quinn walked out of the room and asked the nurse on duty how to get to the nearest exit. She followed the directions she was given and felt better as soon as the cold air hit her face. She broke down in a whole new set of sobs. She pulled out her phone and hit 2 on her speed dial.

"Is she ok?" Santana asked without even saying hello.

"They said she is going to be ok, but she is still asleep. What if she doesn't wake up, Santana? This is all my fault.

"Quinn, sweets, this is not your fault. This is Rachel's fault. She has deeper issues that we first realized. You can't blame yourself, ok? Please stop blaming yourself." Santana said and Quinn could hear Brittany in the background. "Q, Brittany wants to say something to you."

Quinn smiled as Brittany got on the phone. "Q, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that you shouldn't blame yourself for anything. Santana told me that Rachel had an accident and that she is in the hospital and I know that accidents don't happen on purpose so it's not your fault."

"Are you happy to be back with Santana?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, I missed her so much. She is taking me to see the ducks later after we have hot make up sex."

"Ok you are done talking to Q, now." Quinn heard Santana in the background. Then she got on the phone. "Do you need us to come up there?"

"No, and don't tell anyone else ok? Go have fun with your wife. I love you girls." Quinn said.

"She is not my wife, Q." Santana said back.

"Oh, please, she so is. Bye, S." Quinn smiled.

"Shut up. Bye, Q."

Quinn decided to go to the gift shop to see if she could find something with gold stars on it or at least something to cheer up Rachel when she woke up. She finally decided on a stuffed bear. It was pink with white hearts on it.

She carried it back to Rachel's room and walked in to see a scene similar to the one she had left.

"Any change?" Quinn asked as she sat back down in her chair and took Rachel's hand once again.

"She stirred a little bit, but she didn't wake up." Hirum said.

"That's good though right? Her body is trying to wake up?" Quinn asked.

The men nodded and the room fell into silence once again. An hour passed before Rachel stirred again.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked her voice scratchy.

"Yes, sweetie, I'm right here." Quinn said as her heart swelled. She was awake.

"Go away." Rachel said and Quinn's heart shattered again.

"But, Rachel-"

"I don't want you here." Rachel said as she opened her eyes and looked at Quinn.

Quinn looked over at Hirum and LeRoy, who looked very confused, before she picked up her purse and walked out of the room. She pressed her back up against the wall before sliding down and sitting on the ground. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to leave but Rachel hated herself so much.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself, daddy. I promise." Quinn heard Rachel say in the room.

"Then why did you do it?" Hirum asked.

"It was an accident. I just went deeper than I meant to. I don't need to stay here for 3 days. I won't stay here." Rachel said and Quinn couldn't help but smile at Rachel's stubbornness.

"What happened with Quinn, Rach?" LeRoy asked and Quinn felt her veins turn to ice.

"We have been dating for a few months, I know I lied to you and I'm sorry." Rachel said.

"Yeah, honey, we know that, but we can get back to that later. Why are you so mad at her?"

"We got in a fight and I told her I didn't trust her, which wasn't even true at the time, and she said we needed a break. Quinn stormed out of the house and went and had sex with someone else." Rachel finished.

"Look, Rachel, I know you are upset with her and you have every right to be, but she makes you a better person." LeRoy said.

"I know," Rachel said quietly. "I don't know if I can forgive her though."

"Is she the reason you did this?" Hirum asked as he pointed to her wrists.

"Yes." Rachel said and Quinn couldn't breathe again. "No," Rachel said.

"Which is it?" LeRoy asked.

"I don't know. I was upset about Quinn, but I was mostly just mad at myself for not trusting her. If I would have just trusted her, then she wouldn't have slept with her."

"You need to talk to her then. You shouldn't have kicked her out of here." LeRoy said.

"No, I can't talk to her right now. She thinks I'm an idiot." Rachel said.

"No, she doesn't." Hirum said. "She was so scared. She sat here and begged you to wake up. She said she needed you and that her daughter needed you."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, Rach, I honestly think she is thinking about keeping the baby and I think it's all because of you. She loves you so much. I can see if when she looks at you." LeRoy said.

"I love her too," Rachel said and Quinn wanted nothing more than to run in there and kiss her. "But, I can't deal with her right now."

"Have you cut yourself before?" Hirum asked.

There was a long pause before Rachel finally answered, "Yes."

"Why don't you get some sleep, I know how tired you are."

"Ok, daddy," Rachel answered and they were all silent again. Quinn got up to leave she was walking off when she heard Hirum's voice.

"Quinn, wait." She turned around.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Berry." Quinn said and she turned around and walked back down the series of long hallways and out into the fresh air. She had heard Hirum call after her but she ignored him. She didn't want to be yelled at.

She got in her car and drove to the duck pond. She wanted to talk to Santana and see Brittany.

She arrived and saw Brittany throwing bread into the pond and laughing as the ducks ate the food. Santana was sitting on a picnic table watching her with a smile on her face.

"Hey, S." Quinn said as she sat down next to her friend and Santana wrapped her in a hug. "You know it's nighttime, right S?" Quinn asked as she pulled away.

"Yes, but Brittany really wanted to feed the ducks, so I told her we could come tonight."

"You're such a softie, S." Quinn said with a smile.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone." Santana warned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Quinn said.

"How's Berry?" The Latina asked.

"S, it was awful. She looked dead. She was so pale and they have all this gauze wrapped around her wrists."

"So she did try to kill herself?" Santana asked quietly as she looked over at her girlfriend who was completely absorbed in the ducks.

"She said she wasn't trying to. Rachel told her dads it was an accident." Quinn said.

"Interesting," Santana said.

"She told me to get out of the hospital. She didn't want me there. She is never going to forgive me, S."

"She will, she loves you so much, Q."

"I want her back so badly. What do I do?" Quinn asked as she started crying for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"You just have to wait. I'm sorry." Santana said as she pulled her crying friend into a hug once again.


	19. Chapter 19

"I don't want to stay here!" Rachel yelled at her dad's. "You can't make me stay here for 2 more days!"

"It's not us, honey; it's the hospital's rules. You are on mandatory suicide watch for 72 hours." LeRoy said trying to calm down his daughter.

"I didn't try to kill myself!" Rachel tried to tell her dad's again. They wouldn't listen.

"Whether you meant to or not, you almost died." Hirum said with tears in his eyes.

"It was an accident. I swear. You have to believe me." Rachel begged. "I would never do that."

"We want to believe you, we really do, but you have been cutting yourself for who knows how long." LeRoy said.

"We just want you to be ok again. We love you so much." Hirum said as he sat on Rachel's hospital bed and took her hand in his.

"Fine, but I can go home in 2 days right?" Rachel asked, hoping her sad chocolate eyes would be enough.

"I don't know, sweetheart. We will have to see." LeRoy said.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, terrified to hear the answer.

"We talked to the doctor while you were asleep. He said that you have to talk to a psychologist and then she is going to determine whether or not you need to go spend a couple weeks at Millwood." LeRoy answered.

"Millwood? As in the psychiatric hospital in the city? You aren't seriously going to make me go there? Why can't I stay here? I promise I will go see a therapist. I will do anything you want, please don't make me go." Rachel started crying. She didn't want to go away. She wanted to stay with her dads.

"Honey, I know you don't want to go, but you need to get better. Besides, we don't know if you are going to have to go yet. She will be here sometime this afternoon. Just talk to her, ok?" Hirum pleaded with his eyes.

Rachel nodded. "Do you think you guys can leave me alone for a while? I really want to take a nap." She didn't want to deal with her dads anymore.

"Sure, sweetheart." Hirum said as he kissed the top of Rachel's head.

"We will be back in a little while." LeRoy leaned down and kissed the top of her head too.

"Wait, before you go, where did that bear come from?" Rachel asked as she pointed to a pink and white bear sitting on her nightstand.

"Quinn brought it to you. We can take it with us if you want." LeRoy said.

"No, it's fine. It can stay there. I'll see you guys later." Rachel said. She waited until she was sure her dads were down the hall before leaning over and picking up the bear. She looked at it for a moment before hugging it to her chest. It smelled like Quinn. She laid down on her side squeezing the bear tightly before she fell asleep.

"Rachel, honey, wake up," She heard her dad talking to her. She just wanted to sleep. She opened her eyes. "Baby, the therapist is going to be here in a few minutes. Your daddy and I are going to go downstairs to get something to eat so that you have some privacy. Just tell her the truth." Hirum said.

"Ok," Rachel responded and sure enough, a middle-aged woman walked through the door less than 5 minutes later.

"Good afternoon, Rachel. My name is Dr. Colburn." She walked up to Rachel and shook her hand. She was tall-ish with sandy blonde hair and she looked like a nice person.

"Hi," Rachel said shyly.

"Is it ok if we chat for a little while?" She asked.

"I don't really have a choice," Rachel responded.

"So you are mad at having to be here?"

"Yes, I'm mad that I'm being kept on suicide watch when I didn't even try to kill myself." Rachel said, arms across her chest.

"You slit your wrists, didn't you?"

"No. I mean yes, but I didn't want to die." Rachel answered.

"What did you want?"

"I don't know," Rachel answered honestly. She picked at the fur on the Quinn bear that was still in her lap.

"When did you start cutting yourself?"

"Like a year ago." Rachel answered shortly. She was already tired of talking to this woman.

"What happened?"

"I was being made fun of, like always, and it just seemed like a good idea." Rachel said. The brunette really didn't want to get into all this.

"Why were they making fun of you?"

"Everybody hates me." Rachel answered quietly.

"Everybody? Are you sure everybody does?"

"Yes." Was the point of this lady just to make her feel worse?

"Are you involved in any clubs or sports?"

"Glee club." Rachel answered.

"Do you like to sing?"

"That's an understatement." Rachel could feel herself smile.

"What about the other kids in the club? Do they hate you too?"

"Sometimes, most of them." Rachel said as she thought about all the mean things the Glee kids had said to her over the past 6 months.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No. I had a girlfriend though. I broke up with her."

"Tell me about her."

"She is beautiful and smart and amazing." Rachel said as she thought about her ex.

"Did you love her?"

"Yes," Rachel said.

"Why did you break up with her?"

"She cheated on me." Rachel felt the tears again.

"When do you two break up?"

"Yesterday," Rachel answered and she was shocked to realize that it had only been a day.

"Is that why you did this?" Dr. Colburn pointed at Rachel's wrists.

"Yes and no." She answered.

"Did you try to kill yourself?"

"No, I really didn't. I honestly didn't mean to go so deep." Rachel answered truthfully. She really hadn't been trying to kill herself. She just wanted the pain to go away. She hadn't been paying attention and the next thing she knew, she had passed out.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"Sure, you've been asking me questions this whole time. What's one more?"

"How come you can love your ex girlfriend so much, but you can't love yourself?"

"Because she is amazing." Rachel answered quietly.

"Aren't you amazing?"

"No." Rachel said quickly.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I've been hearing how ugly, fat and how no one likes me for so long, that I believe it." Rachel said and the tears began to fall freely.

"Do you not think you're worth anything?"

"No." Rachel squeezed the bear tight.

"Why?"

"I don't know." Rachel answered.

"Ok, Rachel, I'm going to go find your dads and then we are all going to have a talk. OK?"

Rachel just nodded. The doctor left and she broke down in tears again. She knew she was going to have to go away. She didn't want to. They were back in a heartbeat and her dads sat down next to her on the bed and waited.

"After talking to Rachel, I do think there are some definite issues that need to be addressed and worked through. I'm convinced she wasn't actually trying to kill herself, mostly because the cuts on her wrists were done horizontally as opposed to vertically, which is what we see most with suicide. I'm not going to send her to Millwood, but I want her to work with me as an outpatient for a few months." Dr. Colburn said.

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. "What does that mean I have to do?"

"I will come see you tomorrow as well as Wednesday before they release you. I would then like for you to come here Thursday and Friday as well as the week after. After that, we can determine if we need to shorten the visits down to Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Hopefully a month after that we can shorten them to Tuesdays and Thursdays. Does that sound ok?"

"Yes," Rachel said. It really didn't but she didn't want to go to Millwood, so she would do as she was told. "What about school?"

"Lima Public Schools start back on Wednesday, correct?" Rachel nodded.

"I want you to take this week as well as next week off from school." Dr. Colburn said and Rachel sat up to protest. She didn't want to miss that much school. She would get behind in her classes and Glee rehearsal. Regional's was in a couple months. She needed to practice. Not to mention that if she wasn't there, the rumors were going to fly and she was going to get more slushies than usual when she returned.

"Rachel, honey, you need to do as the doctor says. We will get someone to bring over your assignments and Glee music." Hirum said trying to stop his daughter from exploding.

"Fine." Rachel said as she sat back on the pillows again and pouted.

"Alright, Rachel, I will see you tomorrow." She smiled and left the room.

Rachel didn't talk, which was rare for her.

"Honey?" LeRoy asked.

"What?" Rachel said back, not wanting to look in his eyes.

"Are you ok?" He asked again.

"Yes, daddy." She answered. She was ok, for the most part. She wasn't happy about this intensive therapy she was about to be put through, nor was she happy about the anti-depressants that were sure to be shoved down her throat starting tomorrow, but she was happy she would get to stay with her dads and that's all that she really cared about. She knew she didn't want to end up in a hospital again and she knew she needed to get better. She liked cutting, she did, but she knew it wasn't healthy for a Broadway star to be doing.

"I'll get better, ok? I will." Rachel said to herself more than her dads.

"We just want you to be happy sweetheart." Hirum said.

"So we see you like that bear," LeRoy said with a smile and Rachel realized she still had the Quinn bear in her grip. "Would you like us to call Quinn and have her come see you?"

"Maybe tomorrow?" Rachel answered. She was mad at Quinn still, but she loved her so much and she needed her. Quinn was the only person who had made her feel happy. Well until all that drama a few days ago.

"People make mistakes, honey, Quinn loves you. I think she is good for you. I can't remember the last time I saw you so happy before she came along." LeRoy said looking at Hirum.

"He's right, you need to forgive her, even if you 2 don't end up back together, you need to forgive her so you can let go of all the anger you have towards her right now." Hirum said.

"I know. I want to forgive her. I just don't know if that will change once I actually see her." Rachel said and at that moment her stomach growled.

"Are you hungry?" LeRoy laughed.

"Yes, actually, I'm starving." Rachel said with a smile.

"Ok, well we will go see about getting you some food. We brought you some DVD's from home. Would you like to watch Funny Girl?"

"Yes, please." Rachel said and her attitude perked up. She loved that movie. It always made her feel better.

They put the DVD in and left the room in search of food. She wondered where her cell phone was and made a mental note to ask her dad's. 20 minutes later her dads came back in with a nurse who was carrying some disgusting looking food.

"Daddy, please don't make me eat this. Can't I have something else? Like a burger and fries?" Rachel pleaded.

"Sorry, this is what you have to eat." LeRoy said.

Rachel grimaced as she looked at what she thought was some sort of chicken and possibly mashed potatoes. "At least there's Jell-O," Rachel thought. She picked up her fork and looked around for a knife to cut the chicken.

"There's no knife." Rachel said.

"Yeah, you aren't allowed to have one." Hirum said but he didn't look his daughter in the eye.

"Seriously?" Rachel exclaimed. "How am I supposed to cut this food?"

"Just use your fingers and pick it apart." LeRoy said and he saw Rachel make a face.

"Gross." Rachel said as she turned into a 5 year old again.

"Rachel, eat the chicken. It won't hurt you to use your fingers." Hirum said.

Rachel slowly ate her meal not thrilled at having to use her fingers instead of silverware. Her dads chatted about some random mind numbing stuff but Rachel was glad there were talking about something other than her wrists. After dinner she was feeling tired again.

"Are you sure you don't want us to sleep here again?" Hirum asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I promise." Rachel smiled. "Go home and get some rest."

"Ok, honey, we will see you in the morning, then." LeRoy said as he hugged her goodbye.

"Um, where is my cell phone?" Rachel asked and she watched her dad take it out of his pocket.

"You technically aren't supposed to have it, but I will let you have it for the night." Hirum handed it over and Rachel turned it on.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." Hirum said and both men walked out the door.

Rachel looked down at her phone and saw that she had a few texts from Quinn asking how she was doing, one message from Santana yelling at her for scaring her so much and one from Brittany asking how she was after her accident. Rachel wondered for the first time if the rest of the Glee kids knew she was in the hospital. Before she could stop herself, she was calling Quinn.

"Rachel?" Quinn answered.

"Hey," Rachel said quietly.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes," Rachel answered quietly again.

"Not that I'm not thrilled, but, sweetie, why are you calling me?" Quinn asked.

When Rachel heard Quinn call her sweetie, she just wanted to be in her arms again.

"I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you." Rachel said.

"I'm glad. Rachel, I'm so sorry." Rachel felt her heart break at the sound of the blonde's words.

"I know, Quinn. Um, Quinn, do the rest of the Glee kids know where I am?" Rachel asked.

"No." Quinn answered and Rachel let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"But, Brittany and Santana know?" Rachel asked, surprising herself that she wasn't mad.

"Well, yeah. I'm really sorry but I was so scared and I told Santana and of course she told Brittany." Quinn said quickly.

"Quinn, stop, it's ok. So Brittany and Santana are back together?" Rachel asked, smiling at the thought.

"Yes and they are grossing me out with all their make-up sex." Quinn laughed.

"I'll bet." Rachel laughed too. "I'm glad they worked everything out. They belong together." Rachel wanted to say that they belonged together too, but she wasn't quite sure how she felt about being with Quinn again, she just knew she liked talking to her.

"Rachel, sweetie, what do you want to do about the Glee kids? Do you want them to know?" Quinn asked.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I want them to know." Rachel said.

"Are you sure? I mean that's ok if you don't but, you know they won't judge you." Quinn said.

"I'm sure for now. Maybe in a few days, but for now, I don't want anyone to know. Well except you, Santana and Brittany apparently." Rachel smiled. She couldn't believe that it was the 3 Cheerios that knew everything.

"Well I won't tell. Do you need anything?" Quinn asked.

"Not right now. Maybe tomorrow. Can I call you again?" Rachel asked, her voice turning quiet again.

"Of course, anytime." Quinn answered.

"Ok, well I will talk to you then. Bye Quinn." Rachel said and she hung up.

She rolled over to her side and hugged the bear to her stomach again. She let her mind race about everything that had happened. She was surprised to realize she didn't hate Quinn. She was mad at her, yes, but she wanted to forgive her. She wasn't sure how to go about that though. She thought maybe they could be friends again for now. She finally fell asleep, images of Glee and Quinn filling her head.


	20. Chapter 20

"Can you guys please stop sucking face for like 5 minutes? Like seriously?"

Santana tore herself away from Brittany's face long enough to say no and then she firmly placed her mouth back to its previous position. Quinn was about to protest some more when her phone rang.

"Hey, Rach, how are you feeling today?" Quinn answered.

"I really wish people would stop asking me that." Rachel said into the phone.

"Rachel," Quinn warned.

"I'm feeling fine, Quinn." Rachel said in an exasperated voice.

"You know, someone once told me that 'Fine' stood for Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional." Quinn said back.

"Who on earth told you that?" Rachel asked clearly trying to suppress her laughter.

"Remember that Cheerio Kelly Johnson?"

"Yeah, didn't she get sent away somewhere?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, she did. She got sent to Renfrew in Florida. It's a treatment center for girls with eating disorders. Anyway, when she got back, she asked me how I was once and I told her fine. She proceeded to tell me that she used to answer fine to one of her shrinks and to get her to not say it, the shrink told her that that is what it stood for. So she had to learn to say that she was ok or good instead of fine." Quinn finished.

"Wow." Rachel said still trying to not laugh.

"Plus I think it's the name of one of Aerosmith's albums." Quinn laughed.

"Well alright then." Rachel said. "So, I was wondering if maybe you would come see me today. I know I told you to go away and all, but I could use the company."

"Of course, I'll come." Quinn said.

"Come where?" Brittany asked as she pulled away from Santana. "Can I come?"

"No, B. I'm going to go see Rachel and you can't come." Quinn said.

"Why not?" Brittany started pouting and looked like she was going to cry. "I want to see her too."

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing, hold on." Quinn said. "Santana, please?"

"No, I think that if she wants to see her, she should be allowed. Plus, I kind of want to see her too. I have some things to say to her." Santana said hands on her hips.

"No, Santana," Quinn warned.

"Quinn!" Rachel yelled into the phone.

"What?" Quinn asked as she put the phone back to her ear.

"What is going on?" Rachel asked again.

"I'm here with Brittany and Santana and they want to come see you too, but I told them no."

"Why? They can come too if they want."

"Wait, what?" Quinn asked truly surprised.

"Look, I may not be the biggest fan of Santana's right now, but I am working on forgiving you so it's only fair I try to forgive her too. Plus, I would really like to see Brittany and I know that those 2 are attached at the hip. You can bring them if they would really like to come." Rachel said.

"Are you sure, Rachel?" Quinn asked not believing the girl.

"I'm not going to break, Quinn." Rachel said sounded annoyed.

"You almost died." Quinn said quietly.

"I am aware of that and it's getting really annoying that everyone won't listen to me when I say it wasn't on purpose. I'm fine or ok or whatever you want that is not the word fine, but seriously having Britt and Santana come up here isn't going to lead to anything bad, ok?" Rachel rambled on.

"Ok, we will be there soon. Bye," Quinn said as she fought the urge to say those three words she wanted to say more than anything else.

"Bye," Rachel said and she hung up the phone.

"Can we come?" Brittany asked.

"Yes you can." Quinn said and Brittany started jumping up and down, clapping with excitement. "Santana, you had better watch yourself, understand me? Do not be mean to her." Quinn warned the Latina.

"Shut up, Quinn, I can guarantee to you that I know a hell of a lot more about what Rachel is going through than you do." Santana fought back.

"Yeah? Is that how you got that nasty looking scar on your leg? I don't remember that being there a year ago."

"We aren't talking about this, Quinn. You don't know anything about me." Santana argued.

Brittany was sitting on the bed a look of confusion on her face. "What are you guys talking about?"

"B, will you please go downstairs and tell your mother where we are going?" Santana asked. Brittany did as she was asked and as soon as she was out of the room, the girls exploded.

"Don't even try to pretend that I don't know anything about you. Are you kidding me? I know you better than anyone." Quinn protested.

"Really? You really want to play this game? Fine! I cut myself and had to get stitches. I never told you, because I didn't want to deal with you yelling at me." Santana said as she sat down on the bed.

Quinn hated when the Latina looked like this. It was always hard to see Santana hurt.

"I never yelled at you for cutting. I would never. Santana, I love you and I just don't want you to be hurt." Quinn said as she sat down next to her friend. "That was the last time right?"

"Yeah, it was. I started seeing this therapist, lovely woman she is," Santana rolled her eyes, "and I actually dealt with my anger as opposed to just repressing it. I'm fine now, I promise." Santana said looking into Quinn's eyes.

"Good, because I need you to be ok and so does Brittany." Quinn smile as Brittany came bouncing back into the room.

"Can we go now?" Brittany asked.

"Of course," Quinn said as she squeezed Santana's hand and got up.

The ride to the hospital was short and soon they were standing at the information desk.

"Hi, we are here to see Rachel Berry. She was in the ICU yesterday, but I think they have probably moved her since then. Can you tell me where she is?" Quinn asked.

The woman behind the desk quickly typed into her computer. "She is in the psych ward. I'm sorry but you must be a relative to see her."

"I'm her sister and these are our cousins." Quinn lied.

The woman looked at Santana. Big mistake.

"What? Just because I'm Latina I can't be related to them? Seriously? My mom is Latina but my dad is white. Is that enough information for you? Just tell me where Rachel is." Santana snapped.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh as the woman instructed them how to get to the psych ward.

"Santana, we are going to have to get you into some anger management classes." Quinn said.

"Yeah, well." Santana laughed.

Quinn saw Hirum first and then LeRoy. They were standing outside of Rachel's room talking to one of the doctors.

They looked at her and then came over.

"Hey Quinn, and who are your friends?" LeRoy asked.

"This is Santana and her girlfriend, Brittany." Quinn answered. "Rachel wanted to see them. Well us. Is that ok?" Quinn asked, afraid that the man might actually hurt her now that he knew what she had done to his daughter.

"Of course, you know we love you Quinn." Hirum said. "I was trying to tell you that the other day but you just ran away from me."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said as she hung her head.

"I do not approve of what you did, but I don't blame you at all. Whatever, Rachel is dealing with, goes a lot deeper than what happened the other day." Hirum said.

"Ok." Quinn said quietly. She still felt guilty. "Is she awake?"

"Yeah, you girls can go in." LeRoy said.

The 3 girls walked into Rachel's room and they all laughed at what they saw. Rachel was sitting up in bed, no longer attached to machines and she had her arms folded across her chest. The look on her face said that she wanted to storm out. It was good to know that some things never changed.

"Rachel!" Brittany exclaimed and she ran over to the bed and engulfed the brunette in a hug. "I'm so glad you are ok after your accident."

"Thanks, Brittany." Rachel said as she was released from the hug.

"Hey, Berry." Santana said but she made no movement toward the girl.

"Santana." Rachel said.

"Hey, sweetie." Quinn said as she walked over to her ex girlfriend. She wasn't sure whether or not to hug her, so she just smiled.

After a few minutes of silence, Brittany apparently decided it was far too quiet. "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"

Quinn just looked at Santana who shrugged, "Yeah she told me the same thing last week. I don't even know."

"They are!" Brittany protested and the 3 other girls just laughed.

"Thank you for informing me of this, Brittany." Rachel said as she smiled at the ditzy blonde. "Hey, Quinn, will you take Brittany down to the cafeteria to get some Jell-o? I need to talk to Santana and my guess is that she has some stuff to say to me.

"What? No way." Quinn argued.

"Quinn, please." Rachel asked.

"Fine," Quinn huffed before she grabbed Brittany's hand and walked out the door.

"Hey," Quinn said to Rachel's dads, "Do you mind taking B down to the cafeteria. Rachel and Santana are in there talking and I want to make sure they don't like hurt each other.

"Sure, Quinn." LeRoy said as they walked off with Brittany, who was now very excited for the aforementioned Jell-o. Quinn snuck back to Rachel's door and stood just out of sight.

"Seriously, Berry?" Santana said, "What is wrong with you?"

"I didn't mean to." Rachel said back.

"You scared the shit out of me and that is just not ok." Santana said and Quinn couldn't help but smile that Santana was being her normal self around Rachel.

"You slept with my girlfriend." Rachel fired back.

"I know, I was completely wasted and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause all this damage." Santana said.

"It's not your fault." Rachel said so quietly that Quinn almost couldn't hear her.

"Yes it is. If I hadn't slept with Puck last year, then me and B wouldn't have gotten in that fight which wouldn't have resulted in your fight which led to our cheating." Santana said and Quinn could tell that Santana actually felt guilty.

"It's not your fault, Santana." Rachel said again.

"I can't believe you are sitting here, with bandages around your wrist. Didn't we have a conversation about this in Starbucks? You were supposed to stop and to go talk to Ms. Pillsbury." Santana told her.

"I know and I was seeing her, but I didn't stop. I tried, but I just couldn't." Rachel admitted.

"I know the feeling. How did Quinn not know you were still doing it? I know before you broke up, that you 2 were all over each other."

"I lied to her. I told her I was on my period or not feeling well." Quinn felt her heart stop. She couldn't believe she fell for those lies. She should have known. "I felt really bad lying to her though."

"Yeah, she is a hard one to lie to." Santana said and Quinn smiled. "Are you ever going to forgive her or me for that matter?"

"Yes, I will. I love her, Santana. I want so much to be back in her arms, kissing her." Rachel said and Quinn thought she might actually explode from excitement.

"Then why aren't you?" Santana asked.

"Because, I need to deal with this cutting stuff first. It isn't fair for her to be with me while I'm all messed up." Rachel said and Quinn flinched.

"You aren't messed up, Rachel. I promise. I get it, girl. I understand more than most what you are feeling, but you aren't messed up. Do you understand me?" Quinn assumed Rachel nodded before Santana spoke again. "Good. Are you going to be able to forgive me too? I know we were never exactly friends, but I care about what happens to you."

"I forgive you, Santana. I'm still upset with you, but I forgive you." Rachel said.

"I'm glad to hear it. You need to let Quinn back in." Santana said.

"I'm working on it. It's a lot harder to forgive her than you. She was supposed to only want to be with me. She was supposed to care about me." Rachel told her.

"Trust me; she only wants to be with you. It's killing her that she hurt you so badly. She isn't going to do it again. I can pretty much guarantee that. Forgive her." Santana said. Quinn was so grateful for her friend at that moment.

"I'm working on it." Rachel said.

"Alright, well I'm going to go find them and tell Quinn she can come back up here." Santana said. Quinn ducked out of sight so she wouldn't be caught and waited until she saw the Latina walk by before she went into Rachel's room.

"That was fast." Rachel said.

"Yeah, I was outside. I just wanted to make sure she wasn't mean to you."

Rachel laughed, "Thanks."

Quinn noticed the bear she bought was sitting on the bed behind the brunette. "I see you like the bear I got you. Did you give it a name?"

Rachel smiled, "No, it's just the Quinn bear. I was sleeping with it because it smelled like you and I felt safer. The smell is gone now though." Rachel said not meeting Quinn's eyes.

"I can fix that." She leaned down and grabbed the bear and held it tightly to her stomach, then rubbing it on her neck so that her perfume would get on it. She handed it back. Rachel smelled it and smiled.

"Thanks, Quinn." Rachel said and Quinn's heart swelled. Maybe the girl would forgive her sooner rather than later.

"Rachel, we have to talk." Quinn said as she sat on the bed next to Rachel.

"I know. I'm sorry I scared you." Rachel said.

"It's ok. Please don't ever do it again, but it's ok. I'm so sorry about everything with Santana," Quinn looked directly into those deep brown eyes she loved so much.

"I know you are. I want to forgive you so badly, Quinn. I want to be with you so badly." Rachel said as her words echoed the conversation she had with Santana.

"How long until we are able to be ok?" Quinn asked.

"It will take a while. I'm sorry. I want nothing more than to kiss you and for everything to be ok, but I can't." Rachel said and Quinn understood even though her heart was breaking.

"Can we at least be friends? I need you in my life, in my daughter's life." Quinn said as she placed her hands on her tiny bump.

"Friends, sounds good. We will be ok, Quinn, it's just going to take a few weeks. I have to go to all this therapy and I'm not allowed to go to school for a couple weeks. Will you bring me my homework every couple days? Oh and the Glee sheet music?" Rachel asked.

"Of, course I will. Are you going to be going home?" Quinn asked realizing she didn't know how long Rachel would be here.

"Yeah, tomorrow. Finally. I'm so sick of this place." Rachel smiled.

"I'll bet." Quinn said.

Their conversation was cut short by the returning of the 2 couples.

"I brought you some Jell-o!" Brittany said as she handed Rachel a bowl of many different colored pieces. Quinn couldn't help laughing at the fact that her Jell-o was rainbow colored.

"Why rainbow?" Quinn asked, expected her to say something about everyone in that room being gay, but of course Brittany responded with "I like rainbows. They are pretty and so is Rachel."

"Right, well thank you Britt." Rachel smiled as she took a bite.

They made idle chit chat until it was time for the girls to get going.

"I will bring you your homework tomorrow," Quinn said as she leaned down to hug the girl. She loved the smell of Rachel and lingered a little too long as she got caught up in the scent. "Right, sorry." Rachel just smiled. She hugged both Santana and Brittany. They waved by to the Mr. Berry's and walked out of the hospital. Santana waved sarcastically to the woman who was still at the information desk.

"Stop it, S" Quinn said but she couldn't stop herself from laughing.

That night passed quickly and before she knew it, Quinn's alarm was going off. 7:30am. Gross. She got up, got dressed, fixed her hair (Not in a stupid pony tail) and walked out the door. She didn't even say bye to her mom. She stopped at Chick-fil-a for a breakfast sandwich, promising herself that she would eat better for lunch and drove to school.

No one really commented on Rachel's absence for most of the day. The few things she did hear were that people just thought she was sick. Quinn was ok with that. No one needed to know where the girl really was. In fact no one really started asking questions about the girl's disappearance until she walked into the choir room.

"Have y'all seen Rachel today?" Mercedes asked as Quinn walked into the room.

"No, it has been unusually quiet today," Artie piped up.

Quinn sat down in one of the chairs, saving 2 for her friends and didn't say anything to anyone. She continued to listen to everyone's theories until Mr. Schue walked in, followed closely by Brittany and Santana. They took their seats next to her.

"Are they asking?" Santana whispered to Quinn. Quinn just nodded.

"Alright guys, we are going to start a new assignment today. We need to get ready for Regional's so we need some fun songs in our repertoire. I have found 2 very popular songs from the same year. One song for the girls and one song for the guys." Mr. Schue told the class.

"What songs?" Matt asked.

"We are doing 2 songs from 1996. They were both very popular songs from groups that had multiple hits, but who disappeared rather quickly. Girls, you will be doing Spice Girls 'Wannabe' and the guys will be doing Hanson 'Mmmbop.''

The girls cheered while the guys groaned.

"This is going to be so f-fun." Tina stuttered.

"Speak for yourself. Can we please do something less gay?" Puck asked and a chorus of "Hey!" came from Kurt, Santana, Brittany and Quinn.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything against you, although if any of you girls want to make out with each other, I will feel like I would understand a little better." Puck said as he licked his bottom lip.

"Shut up, dumbass." Santana snapped.

"Santana." Mr. Schue warned.

Santana slumped back in her seat and took Brittany's hand to calm down.

"Anyways, here is the sheet music for you songs. I have already divided each song up for who is going to sing what. Girls, just practice everything you can without Rachel and we will pick it up when she gets back."

Quinn knew Rachel wouldn't be back for a week and a half, but she figured she would practice with her when she took Rachel her homework.

"Do you know where Rachel is?" Kurt asked Mr. Schue.

"No, I do not. She isn't here; you just need to deal with that." He answered. "Now get to work."

"He knows where she is. Why won't he just tell us?" Mercedes asked. Before Santana could stop her, Brittany answered.

"She is in the hospital."

"Brittany!" Santana and Quinn both yelled as a chorus of 8 voices started yelling at once.

"What happened? Why is she there? Is she ok? What's going on? Why didn't you tell us? Why does Brittany know?" Everyone was yelling and Quinn couldn't get the voices straight.

"Shut up!" Santana yelled.

Quinn looked at Mr. Schue and realized he knew why Rachel was in the hospital. "Of course her teachers know." Quinn thought.

"Look guys, I know you want to know what's going on, but it isn't our place to tell you. Rachel is doing ok. She is going to be fine, but she isn't going to be in school for a little while." The teacher said.

"Screw that. Quinn, what happened?" Mercedes said as she turned to face the blonde.

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry. It's not my story to tell." Quinn hated being put on the spot like this.

"Brittany?" Kurt asked but Santana clamped her hand over her girlfriend's mouth.

"Leave her alone, Kurt. She isn't telling you anything." Santana warned.

"Wait, you know too?" Finn asked.

"Yes, I do. I'm not telling you anything though." Santana said.

"Guys, I love that you all care about Rachel and I'm sure she will love to hear that when Quinn undoubtedly tells her, but we need to get to work." Mr. Schue smiled at Quinn before separating the groups. Kurt wasn't happy about being lumped with the guys again.

The girls had been split into the 5 singers with Brittany singing backup in the chorus. Quinn had been given the part of Baby Spice and she assumed it had something to do with her hair color and not because she had an actual baby growing inside her. Santana was Sporty Spice, Mercedes was Scary Spice, and Tina was Posh Spice which left Rachel to be Ginger Spice since she did the most singing in the song. Brittany was upset that she didn't get a Spice name so they named her Cheerio Spice. She was thrilled. They decided to look the video up on YouTube so they could get a feel for the song and the girls, since they were around the age of 2 when the song came out.

Quinn was impressed with the music video. She loved that it was all done in one continuous shot. She laughed at the clothes and those ridiculous platform shoes, but she was sad she didn't get to witness that phenomenon. They looked like fun girls. It took a second before she recognized Posh Spice to be Victoria Beckham and it made her laugh that the uptight woman she saw on TV and in magazines was the same girl who was dancing around on the screen in front of her. When the video was finished, they got to work.

Quinn headed to Rachel's once they had been dismissed from practice. She knocked on Rachel's door, noticing that Hirum's car was in the driveway. She knew they were scared to leave her alone.

Rachel opened the door and smiled when she saw Quinn. The blonde's eyes automatically glanced down to Rachel's wrists and saw that they were still wrapped in gauze. Rachel must have noticed Quinn looking because she put her hands behind her back and she invited the girl in.

"Sorry," Quinn muttered feeling guilty.

"It's ok, I just feel embarrassed." Rachel said as they sat on the sofa next to each other. They were close enough that Quinn could feel Rachel's body heat and it took every ounce of strength she had to not attack the girl with kisses.

"I brought your homework and Glee music." Quinn said as she handed the stack of papers to the brunette. "We are doing a Spice Girls song in Glee. You have been given the part of Ginger Spice." Rachel raised her eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that. It's actually really fun." Quinn smiled. "That actually reminds me, um, the Glee kids know you were in the hospital."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed. It made Quinn jump a little.

"They were asking all these questions and Brittany accidently let it slip." Quinn knew that Rachel couldn't stay mad at Brittany. No one could. "They don't know any details, though. Don't worry."

"Ok, good." Rachel said as she picked at the bottom of the skirt she was wearing.

"Rachel, sweetie, I think you should tell them. Or at least let me tell them. They are genuinely worried about you." Quinn tried.

"Not yet, ok?" Rachel said.

"Ok, we can wait until you're ready. It's ok." Quinn placed a hand on Rachel's arm and the brunette looked at her.

"Quinn, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Quinn said afraid of what she had just agreed to.

"Have you decided what you are going to do about the baby?" Quinn was surprised by the question.

"I want her. I really do. I don't know if I can keep her though. My parents still don't know and as soon as they find out, I will be homeless. I certainly can't raise a baby if I don't even have a house." Quinn couldn't handle the thought of losing her daughter.

"Quinn, you know that if your parents kick you out you can stay with Santana or Brittany or even me. You can raise this baby if you want to. You have a lot of people who support you, regardless of your parents." Rachel said as she looked into Quinn's hazel eyes. "Besides, I have been thinking of baby names." Rachel smiled and Quinn looked at her with her eyebrow raised this time. "What? I had a lot of time to think in the hospital."

"I am not naming my daughter, Barbara." Quinn smiled.

"Of course you aren't, that's already my middle name and I enjoy being unique."

"Alright, then what are you suggesting?" Quinn asked.

"I like the name Kristin." Rachel said with a huge grin on her face.

"Kristin? As in that teeny tiny little blonde lady with the amazing voice who is on Broadway? She has that strange last name."

"Yes as in Kristin Chenoweth." Rachel answered.

"Yeah, that's the one. Why that name?" Quinn asked.

"Because Kristin Chenoweth is pretty much a Broadway god and besides, I think it's a really pretty name and between you and Puck, that girl is going to be beyond gorgeous." Rachel said and Quinn felt herself blush.

"I will think about it." Quinn answered as she felt the heat in her cheeks recede. She couldn't help biting her lip though thinking about how good Rachel tasted and how much she missed it.

"Quinn?"

"What?" Quinn said as she was pulled back into the conversation.

"You were spacing out." Rachel said with a quizzically look on her face. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Quinn said. She knew she shouldn't tell Rachel how much she wanted to stick her tongue in the brunette's mouth.

"Please don't lie to me." Rachel said and Quinn felt guilty.

"I was thinking about how good you taste and how much I wish I could kiss you." Quinn looked down. She was too embarrassed to look Rachel in the eyes.

"Quinn, look at me," Rachel said. Quinn met her eyes. "I miss kissing you too. More than anything, but we have to wait for now. Ok? I need to try to get better before I can be with you again."

"But you want to be with me?" Quinn was surprised at how insecure she was at the moment.

"I really really do. Soon ok?" Rachel asked.

"Ok," Quinn said, biting her lip again.

"You have to stop biting your lip though, because I'm not sure how long I can resist biting your lip myself." Rachel smiled.

"Sorry," Quinn said.

"Didn't we agree to stop apologizing to each other?" Rachel smiled even bigger.

"Right." Quinn laughed. It felt like to long ago that they had decided to stop apologizing.

They sat in a comfortable silence before Hirum walked in.

"Hey girls, everything ok out here?" He asked.

"Yeah dad," Rachel answered and he walked back out of the room.

"He won't leave me alone for longer than 30 minutes. It's driving me crazy." Rachel said.

"He just loves you. Let him do it." Quinn laughed as Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "Oh don't be so stubborn." The girls both started laughing.

"Do you want to watch a movie? Or do you have to get going?" Quinn could hear the sadness in Rachel's voice.

"Of course, a movie sounds great. What do you want to watch?" Quinn asked, immediately regretting it.

"Can we watch Phantom of the Opera?" Rachel asked and before Quinn answered, she was putting the movie in the player. She sat back down on the couch and pulled Quinn close to her as she draped a blanket over them. Quinn had missed cuddling with the girl, even though it had only been less than a week since they last laid together. That is how they spend the rest of their evening. Watching movies and cuddling up together on the sofa. They pulled apart only long enough to eat dinner before the resumed their position on the couch. Quinn decided she was ok with not being with the girl for now, as long as she got to stay close to her


	21. Chapter 21

"Will you spend the night?" Rachel asked when the credits rolled on Legally Blonde. Quinn had insisted on watching it and Rachel had finally caved.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Quinn asked.

"No, but this is my first night back in my bed and I'm not sure I will be able to sleep without you there." Rachel was mostly scared of being alone. She was afraid all her insecurities would come back as soon as the blonde left her along with her thoughts.

"You know I will, I just don't want it to do more harm than good." Quinn said and Rachel could see that she was actually scared to stay the night.

"It won't do any harm. Come on, let's go get in bed and we can talk some more." Rachel put out her hand and Quinn took it, their hands fitting perfectly together. Rachel led her up the stairs and into her room. They quickly changed into their pajamas and laid down on the bed. Quinn had laid her head on Rachel's chest and was lightly drawing circles on Rachel's stomach. Rachel couldn't help but smile at how natural it felt to be lying there with the blond. She wanted to be with the other girl so badly but she knew she couldn't. At least not until Rachel was doing better. The brunette felt awful for scaring the blonde. Santana said that Rachel had scared the shit out of the Latina, so she could only imagine how scared Quinn had been.

"Rachel, can I ask you something?" Quinn asked.

"Anything." Rachel answered, feeling a tad nervous.

"Why did you lie to me?"

"About what?" Rachel asked, a little confused.

"The cutting. You said you stopped while you were seeing Ms. Pillsbury, but you didn't. You just pushed me away instead and said you were on your period. Why did you do that?"

"How did you know that?" Rachel couldn't remember ever telling Quinn that she had continued cutting and she knew for a fact she didn't mention that she had covered it by saying it was that time of the month.

"I didn't leave after you told me to go away in the hospital. I overheard you and your Santana. I'm sorry.

"Oh right, I forgot I had that conversation with her. Quinn, I figured you were still out there. You're not big at doing what I tell you." Rachel started stroking the blonde's hair.

"Right. Why did you do it? You scared me so much, Rachel. Please don't ever do that again." Quinn started crying.

"I'm so sorry. I was just so upset and you had, um, well you know with Santana and I was blaming myself and hating myself so much. I just grabbed the razor and pushed down. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't even think it was that bad until I did the other wrist. I felt myself getting dizzy and then I passed out. Quinn, honey, I'm not going to do it again. Ok? I won't scare you like that again. I'm sorry." Rachel hated talking about this, but she knew Quinn needed to hear it.

"Why do you hate yourself so much? You are so amazing. Why can't you see that?" Quinn asked and Rachel wasn't sure what to say. There was no way for Quinn to understand why she felt the way she did.

"Have you ever had someone tell you something so many times that you start to believe it?" She felt Quinn shrug her shoulders. "Well, I have heard how ugly I am, or how much of a freak I am or a loser for so long, that I'm not sure I am able to believe anything else." Rachel didn't mention the pornographic pictures on the bathroom wall or all the comments on her MySpace page that she knew were courtesy of the girl lying on her chest. Quinn pushed up the bottom of Rachel's tank top just enough so she could continue drawing circle's on Rachel's bare skin. It made the brunette feel safe, though she couldn't explain why.

"I'm sorry I ever did that to you. I'm so so sorry I caused you that much pain. Rachel you are the most incredible person I have ever met and I care about you more than anything. You believe that right?" Quinn asked and Rachel could feel her tense up a little bit.

"Sometimes I believe it. The other night I didn't, but other times I do. Sometimes you smile at me and take my hand in Glee or when you lay on my chest and trace circles on my stomach, and I know how much you care about me. Then there are other times when I see the old Quinn in your eyes. Times when I know you are annoyed at me about something I have said and for a split second, I see that Quinn who tortured me for fun flash across your face. I question how much you care about me then."

Quinn stopped her fingers and looked up into Rachel's eyes. "There is nothing and I mean nothing that you do or say that I find annoying. Ok? There is no part of me that has any desire to ever cause you any kind of pain ever again. You are beautiful and talented and you make my heart so happy. I just wish I could get you to believe me."

"You slept with Santana." Rachel wished so much that she could just let that go, but that was a big reason she couldn't believe the blonde's words right now.

"I know." Quinn said almost silently.

"It's hard for me to believe that you care about me so much when it was so easy for you to go and screw her, especially since we haven't done that. It makes me think you resent me for having not been ready to have sex. If you really cared about me that much, how could it have been so easy for you to go to Santana." Rachel said as Quinn's hazel eyes pierced her own brown ones.

"I was so hurt and angry." Quinn said as she sat up to face Rachel. The brunette hated the loss of warmth now that the girl was no longer lying on her. "You had said you didn't trust me, so I decided to give you a reason to not trust me."

"Quinn, that doesn't make sense," Rachel said.

"Yeah, my brain doesn't really think things through when I'm angry. Anyways, I was so angry and Santana was drunk and hurt and it just seemed like a good idea at the time. I miss sex, Rachel, I do, but I would never ever push you into something you weren't ready for. I know when we have sex, it's going to be amazing because of how much we care about each other. I don't want you thinking that I resent you. Ever. Ok?" Quinn said looking deep into Rachel's eyes. Rachel knew the girl was telling the truth.

"Ok." Rachel said as Quinn laid back down on her chest and resumed touching her stomach. It was quiet for a few moments and Rachel decided to mess with the girl a little bit. "I'm ready, you know?"

"Ready?" Quinn asked and Rachel felt the blonde's heart beat faster.

"To have sex with you." Rachel was ready, but she knew it would drive the blonde crazy for a little while and Rachel found this to be quite entertaining. Quinn sat up again and looked at Rachel.

"Really?" Quinn asked and Rachel couldn't help but laugh at the eagerness in the girl's face.

"Yes, really. I was ready like a month ago, but I knew we were going to do anything until one of us said 'I love you,' and then all this drama happened so I just never got around to telling you that I was ready." Rachel swore she could see Quinn's mouth watering. "Quinn stop those dirty thoughts. We are not having sex tonight." Quinn's face fell and Rachel burst out laughing.

"Well I'm glad at least you think you are funny." Quinn said as she started pouting.

"Yes, I do think I'm funny actually." Rachel said as Quinn once again resumed her position on Rachel's chest.

"Well you aren't." Quinn said as she started tracing her fingers again, this time a little lower.

"You aren't going to get me to cave by touching me any lower. Not that I mind the feeling of your fingers on my skin, but seriously we are going to wait to do anything, even kissing, for a few weeks. Are you ok with that?" Rachel asked.

"Of course. I want to be with you again so much, but I completely get why you think we should wait. I want you to be happy and stop hating yourself. I want you to love yourself as much as I do." Quinn said and Rachel felt like her heart would explode.

"So you love me?" Rachel asked.

"You know I do," Quinn said as she moved her fingers a little lower.

"Stop moving your fingers down," Rachel said as she grabbed Quinn's hand and laced their fingers together. "You aren't going to win."

Quinn laughed, "I know, I just thought I would torture you a little bit."

"I'm sorry you're having to deal with me and all my issues. I know it's not fair to you. If you want to walk away, you can. I wouldn't blame you." Rachel said. She hated that she couldn't be the person Quinn wanted her to be. At least not for now. She wasn't able to be happy and confident. She just hated herself so much.

"Rachel, I wish so much that I could make you believe me when I say that I want to be with you more than anything. You are not screwed up. Everyone has issues. Hello? I'm pregnant with Puck's kid and you still want to be with me, knowing that you are going to end up being a mom too for the rest of your life. Assuming we stay together I mean, which I honestly think we will. We all have things that mess with our lives. You just have to learn from them and move on. I'm glad you are getting help and you seem to really want to get better. I can't ask for anything more and I won't. You are mine, issues or none. Got it?" Quinn asked as she rubbed circles into Rachel's hand.

"Yes," Rachel said. She was trying so hard to believe the girl who was lying on her chest. "I want Glee club to know. Well at least the girls, which is pretty much just Tina and Mercedes since the married couple already knows," Rachel said referring to Santana and Brittany.

"They should get married, shouldn't they?" Quinn said laughing, "I think you should tell them. They care about you."

"I guess. Why don't you bring the other 4 over tomorrow? We can rehearse our Spice Girls number and we can all talk. I should get back from therapy around the same time you get out of school." Rachel said mentioning therapy for the first time.

"Do you like therapy?" Quinn asked.

"Not really. It's one thing to talk to you about everything but talking to a complete stranger is awful. I just feel like she is judging. I know she isn't but she asks questions and then continues to stare at me long after I have answered her. It's a little creepy." Rachel really didn't like it when the lady did that, but she did like the doctor. She hoped it would get a little bit more comfortable the more she went.

"I don't think I would like that either. I'm glad that you are trying. I'm really proud of you." Quinn said and Rachel felt herself blush.

"It's late and you have to get up early. We should get some sleep." Rachel said as she shifted her and Quinn down a little so they were lying flat and Quinn pulled up the covers a little.

"Thanks for letting me spend the night. Not being near you has been driving me crazy." Quinn said.

"It's been driving me crazy too. I've missed you being in my arms. Goodnight, honey." Rachel said as she closed her eyes.

"Goodnight, sweetie." Quinn said and Rachel smiled knowing that even though it was going to take a while for Rachel to completely believe it, Quinn really did love her.


	22. Chapter 22

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Damn," Quinn thought as the alarm on her phone went off, "School." She rolled over to get up and it was only when she felt Rachel's arm across her waist that she remembered where she was. She laid back and smiled as she breathed in Rachel's scent. She rolled back over and buried her head into Rachel's hair.

"Rachel, sweetie, I have to get up for school. Are you going to work out?" Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear.

"Sleep." Rachel answered and Quinn laughed. They had stayed up pretty late talking and Quinn was sure Rachel's body was still exhausted from everything is had gone through in the past few days. Quinn felt a pang of guilt but she quickly pushed it away. Rachel had forgiven her. Well almost anyway.

"I'm gonna take a shower, ok baby?" Quinn asked. She couldn't help calling Rachel sweetie and baby.

"Sleep." Rachel repeated and Quinn laughed again as she leaned down to kiss Rachel's forehead before she got up and walked into Rachel's bathroom. She quickly showered and walked back out to Rachel's room in just her towel. Her hair was sticking to her face. She had forgotten her clothes when she went into the bathroom.

"You're so hot," Rachel said startling Quinn. She thought the brunette was still asleep. She hadn't moved from her position but now her eyes were open.

"You're pretty hot yourself. Now go back to sleep." Quinn said as she pulled clothes out of her drawer in Rachel's dresser. Rachel had finally relented one of her precious drawers after Quinn had seduced her into it. "I have to go to school. I will bring the other Glee girls over after school. Are you still ok with that?"

"Yeah, sounds good." Rachel said groggily and Quinn could tell that she was only half awake again. Quinn didn't even bother going back into the bathroom to change. Rachel had already seen her naked before plus the brunette was barely even awake anymore. She walked back into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, put on her deodorant and perfume before grabbing her make-up bag out of the cabinet. She quickly applied a little bit and then returned it the cabinet. Quinn smiled at the fact that she practically lived with Rachel. She had extras of everything at Rachel's house. She quickly ran some gel through her damp hair so it would curl once it dried. Quinn walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'll see you in a few hours. Have a good day. I love you," Quinn said as she kissed Rachel's forehead once again. Quinn loved telling Rachel that she loved her. She didn't even care that the other girl hadn't said it back. She knew that it would take Rachel a little longer and she was completely ok with that. She couldn't wait until they were officially back together again and she could kiss Rachel's beautiful lips again. Rachel rolled over and moaned but didn't wake up as Quinn walked out the door. She stopped by the kitchen, grabbed a bagel and said bye to Rachel's dads.

"I'll be back after school. I'm bringing Santana, Britt, Tina and Mercedes with me. We are going to work on out Glee project. Rachel also wants to tell them what's going on." Quinn said as she took a bite of her bagel.

"Ok, hun. You girls have fun. Will you still be here when we get home from work?" Hirum asked.

"Maybe. As long as Rachel doesn't want me to leave, I will be here." Quinn smiled once again and walked out the front door.

The day went by quicker than Quinn thought it would, before she knew it, she was in her last period class. She knew Rachel was about to walk into therapy, so she sent her a quick message to calm the nerves that she knew the other girl had.

Don't be nervous. Just talk to her. She isn't judging you. I love you and I will see you in a couple hours. –Q

Thanks, baby. I'll see you soon. –R

Quinn smiled and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying. She absentmindedly took notes and finally the bell rang. She headed out to her car and saw the other 4 waiting for her.

"Ok guys, before we head to Rachel's we need to talk. S and B, this doesn't really apply to you since you already know what's going on, but S, please don't push her buttons. Mercedes and Tina, Rachel wants to tell you guys what has been going on. Please do not judge her. She doesn't need that right now. Do not be afraid or freaked out by what you see either. OK? Just remember that she is your friend and as much as she annoys you, you love her. Are we clear?" Quinn said as she looked back and forth between the girls.

"And if you judge her, I will kick your ass. Got it?" Santana added.

"Right, what she said." Quinn smiled. "Any questions?"

"Is it really that bad? You're scaring us." Mercedes asked.

"It's pretty bad, but she is doing better." Quinn answered.

"We w-w-won't judge." Tina said.

"Ok good, let's go." Quinn said as they piled into Quinn's tiny car. Mercedes sat in front because Santana wanted to sit with Brittany.

They parked in front of Rachel's house and walked up the door in silence. Quinn saw that Rachel's car was already home from therapy. Quinn opened the door without knocking and saw that Rachel was curled up on the couch looking very nervous for what was about to happen. Quinn ran over and gave her a hug.

"Are you ready for this, sweetie?" Quinn whispered and Rachel just nodded. The both stood up and Rachel let the blanket fall revealing her wrapped wrists.

"Oh, baby girl, what did you do?" Mercedes asked as she rushed over to Rachel's side.

"Please don't." Rachel said as she back away pushing herself closer to Quinn's body.

"Oh, Rachel," Tina said

"Why don't we all sit down and talk." Quinn said as she and Rachel sat down on one of Rachel's couches, Santana sat down on the big comfy chair with Brittany on her lap and the other two girls took the other couch.

"I didn't mean to," Rachel said quickly and Tina and Mercedes looked at her with confused looks.

"Maybe, you should start from the beginning," Quinn said and she immediately felt Rachel tense. "Do you want me to tell them?" Rachel nodded. "Everything?" Rachel nodded again.

"Ok." Quinn turned to the two that didn't know the story yet. "But if you judge any of us, Santana will actually kill you." The girls nodded before Quinn continued. "Well, a couple night's ago, Santana and Brittany got into that huge fight at Puck's, remember?" The girls nodded and Quinn glanced at the two Cheerios and saw Santana wrap her arms around her girlfriend tighter. "Well their fight ended with Rachel and I getting into a fight. Santana was drunk and I was pissed and we ended up sleeping together." Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own as Mercedes yelled out.

"What?" Santana quickly glared at the girl and Mercedes leaned back again.

"Anyways, I told Rachel what had happened the next day and we broke up. She, um, well she ended up cutting her wrists pretty deep and had to be rushed to the emergency room. They were able to stabilize her but she lost a lot of blood. Rachel had to stay there for a few days under mandatory suicide watch. She was released yesterday and isn't allowed to go back to school until the week after next." Quinn finished and she felt Rachel's hand shaking. She looked up and saw tears falling from the girls deep brown eyes. "You're ok, sweetie, come here." Quinn wrapped the girl into a hug. Rachel calmed down rather quickly and they both leaned back into the couch, hands still clasped. "Any questions?"

Quinn looked around the room and saw that Santana was drawing lazy circles on Brittany's back who looked like she was about to cry too. Mercedes and Tina both looked like they wanted to say something. Before Quinn could tell them to talk, Rachel beat her too it.

"Ask," She said.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?" Mercedes asked.

"No, I just wasn't very focused on how deep I was cutting. I was upset but I didn't want to die." Rachel said squeezing Quinn's hand tighter.

"Have you cut before?" Tina asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered but didn't elaborate.

"Are you going to be ok?" Mercedes asked.

"Yes, I have to see a therapist pretty much every day for the next month or so and then it will dwindle down to 3 times a week, then 2 times and so on and so forth." Rachel said as she leaned in closer to Quinn. The blonde wrapped her arm around the girl and held her close.

"How did you and Quinn end up back together? And how on earth is Santana allowed in this house?" Tina asked and Santana glared at her, "No offense, Santana."

"We aren't back together. Rachel has forgiven me and Santana." Quinn answered.

"Are you sure you two ain't back together? Cause you are all over each other over there." Mercedes said with her eyebrow raised.

"We aren't back together yet. I need to deal with myself first, at least for a little while. We will be back together in a few weeks though. I'm not sure I can live without her. So we are basically together, just not physically or technically, yet." Rachel answered and she squeezed Quinn's hand again.

"What she said. I love her and want to be with her more than anything. If she needs to wait on getting back together, then we wait. If she decides she needs me to go away so she can get better, I will. I will do anything to make her happy." Quinn said and she looked over at the Cheerios and saw Brittany snuggle closer to Santana as the Latina kissed her neck before looking at Quinn and smiling. She knew Santana felt the same way about her own girl.

"Any other questions?" Rachel asked.

"No, but I do have something to say," Mercedes started, "Never ever do this again. If you ever feel like that, call any one of the 5 of us, ok?"

Rachel nodded before she stood to give Mercedes and Tina each a hug. Brittany jumped up and hugged Rachel too. Santana and Quinn just smiled at each other.

"A-are you going to tell the boys?" Tina asked.

"Eventually yes, just not today. Mercedes, please don't tell Kurt." Rachel begged.

"Don't worry, girl, your secrets are always safe with me." She smiled and Rachel hugged her again. "I'm just glad you're ok." Quinn heard Mercedes say into the brunette's mess of curls.

"Ok, enough with all this sappy shit. Can we please go all Spice Girls crazy now?" Santana said as she stood up and stood next the Brittany.

"Absolutely!" Rachel said as she started laughing. Quinn felt her heart swell at seeing the love of her life seem genuinely happy again.

The girls got down to work and practiced for hours. They blocked every part and were running through it one last time when Rachel's dads walked in and started laughing at all the "girl power" in the room.

"Hey girls," Hirum yelled over the music. They all looked up and laughed.

"Hey dad," Rachel said, "Sorry it's so loud." Rachel said turning down the music."This is Mercedes and Tina and of course you already know Santana and Brittany." She pointed to each girl in turn.

"Hey girls, nice moves." Leroy said still laughing at what he had witnessed. "Nice to meet you two. Are you guys staying for dinner? We can order pizza and watch a movie.

A chorus of yes' rang out in the room and after getting everyone's order, Hirum walked into the kitchen to call Pizza Hut.

"I think we should watch Spice World in honor of our Glee assignment," Rachel said as she walked to the DVD shelf.

"Wait, you seriously own that movie?" Santana asked incredulously.

"Yeah, well, I got it for like $3 at Movie Trading Company. I figured why not." Rachel said as she blushed.

"I think it's a good idea, Rach," Quinn said as she walked over to Rachel and hugged her. "You ok with all this?" Quinn asked. She was worried that all the girls being there was getting to be too much.

"I'm fine, really. I like them being here." Rachel smiled and Quinn believed her.

Rachel put in the movie and the girls laughed and sang for the next couple hours while stuffing their faces with pizza. They were all cuddled together on the 2 couches, with Rachel's dads in the oversized chair.

"That movie was good," Brittany said and the rest of the group laughed. "What?" She asked confused.

"Nothing, baby," Santana said as she kissed Brittany.

"It wasn't that bad," Quinn admitted. "Well except for that part with the aliens. That was odd."

"Agreed." Mercedes said. "Not to break up this little pow wow, but I really have to get going. Quinn, do you mind taking us back to our cars?"

"Of course," Quinn said before turning back to Rachel, "Do you want me to come back or to go to my house."

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to," Rachel said with sad eyes.

"I will be back soon," Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand as she got up to take the girls back.

They all took turns hugging Rachel saying things like "I'm glad you're ok," "if you need anything call me," and "We love you," before walking out the front door. Santana stayed back for a second before Quinn saw her embrace Rachel.

"If you seriously need someone to talk to, someone who understands, call me ok? Anytime day or night." Quinn smiled at Santana's words. It always made her laugh that the Latina was such a softie.

"Thanks, night guys." Rachel said before shutting the door.

Quinn dropped them off before heading back to Rachel's. She opened the door, walked in and headed straight for Rachel's room. The girl was already in bed so Quinn changed into her pajamas and climbed in bed with her. She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Santana, thanking her for being so good with Rachel, before snuggling closer to the girl she loved. "Are you ok with everything?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered and Quinn knew something was off.

"Please don't lie to me, sweetie. You can tell me anything, ok?" Quinn said as she took Rachel's hand into her own, intertwining their fingers.

"I'm not, really I'm not. I'm glad I don't have to lie to them anymore, it's just weird now that 2 more people know that I have a habit of cutting myself. Do you think they were judging me?" Rachel asked.

"No, I honestly don't think they were. They are just worried about you. I think it's a good thing you told them. They seem to be pretty supportive, which I think you really need right now." Quinn said.

"They were scared." Rachel said.

"Yes, they were. We all are. None of us want to see you do this again." Quinn said and she realized for the first time that she was absolutely terrified that Rachel was going to end up in the hospital again.

"Quinn, I'm not going to do it again and I'm not going to break ok?" Rachel snapped.

"I know, Rachel. I just never want to be that scared again." Quinn said and they were silent for a moment before Quinn spoke again. "I had a dream that you did it."

"What?" Rachel asked confused.

"Remember that night I woke up screaming?" Rachel nodded. "I saw you lying on the bathroom floor, blood pouring from your wrists and I couldn't wake you up." Quinn saw it all happening in her mind again. She tried to shake it away.

"Oh, Quinn, I'm so sorry." Rachel said as she pulled the blonde closer. Quinn felt herself melt into the other girl.

"It's ok, just don't do it again," Quinn said and Rachel kissed her temple promising just that.

"Never again. Ok?" Rachel said.

"Good." Quinn said before she fell asleep.

The next few weeks flew by. Rachel was finally allowed to come back to school. No one taunted or teased her about anything, mostly because Santana basically threatened the entire student body. No one other than the girls in Glee and Rachel's teachers knew what was going on anyway. Rachel made sure to wear long sleeves as she didn't want the rumor mill to fly. She still hadn't told the guys what had happened and was mostly avoiding their questions. Quinn knew Rachel wasn't looking forward to how the guys would react. Their Spice Girls and Hanson performances were put on hold due to the insane Gaga assignment they had been given due to Rachel's spying on Vocal Adrenaline. Not that any of the girls minded. They all had a blast making costumes and dancing around like crazy people. Quinn made both hers and Rachel's costumes since she had learned to sew when she was a kid. Rachel's therapy was going well and the brunette was actually being truthful about what she and the shrink had been talking about. There were no new cuts on Rachel and she hadn't been pushing Quinn away. The blonde could tell that Rachel was starting to be happy again. She wasn't ok, but she was getting there and that was all that mattered. Before she knew it, it had been 5 weeks since Rachel was rushed to the emergency room.

"Hey pretty girl," Quinn said as she walked into Rachel's house and saw Rachel sitting on her laptop, legs drawn underneath her. "How was therapy?" Rachel was down to going once a week and was making great progress.

"Good," Rachel said with a giant smile on her face. "Great actually."

"And why is that?" Quinn asked as she sat down on the couch next to Rachel who turned to look at her straight in the eyes. Rachel was scaring the blonde a little.

"I talk to her today about you and the progress I have made." Rachel said as she slowly started tracing her finger up Quinn's leg. Tingles shot through Quinn's body. Her mind started racing.

"And?" Quinn asked impatiently.

"She said that I'm doing really well and as long as I am comfortable with it, she thinks that it would be ok if we finally got back together. Officially." Rachel finished as she licked her lips.

"Are you comfortable with it?" Quinn asked testing the waters. Rachel nodded with a grin on her face. "Oh thank God," Quinn said as she quickly leaned into the other girl and pushed her mouth to Rachel's. She had missed this so much. She ran her tongue along Rachel's bottom lip begging to be let in. Rachel moaned loudly and Quinn shoved her tongue in. She explored every inch of the mouth she had missed more than anything. Their tongues dueled for a few minutes before lack of oxygen pulled them apart. They were panting. "Too much?" Quinn asked?

"Not enough," Rachel answered as she sat her laptop on the ground and pulled Quinn on top of her, shoving her tongue back into the blonde's mouth. Quinn's hands rested on Rachel's hips for a moment before one laid on her stomach and the other tangled into Rachel's brown locks. Rachel's hands were moving up and down Quinn's back. "God," Rachel moaned. "I've missed how you taste." Rachel said as she took a breath.

"I've missed you too. So much. So are we officially back together?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, you are my girlfriend again and I'm never letting you go," Rachel said as she kissed Quinn again.


	23. Chapter 23

"When are you going to tell your parents?" Rachel asked as she ran her fingers over Quinn's belly.

"I don't want to." Quinn answered.

"That's not what I asked." Rachel answered as she looked up from Quinn's chest, where she had been laying her head.

"They are going to kill me." Quinn said.

"You are 7 months pregnant, baby; they are going to find out soon. Don't you think it would be better if you told them yourself instead of you just walking in the door one day with a child?" Rachel asked Quinn. It was the middle of March now and the girls had been back together for a little over a month.

"I'm still not even showing that much. Can't I just avoid it for a little while longer?" Quinn asked as Rachel laid her head back down and Quinn started playing with her hair.

"My guess is that you are going to start showing a lot. That beautiful daughter of yours is going to be growing quite a lot more. You need to tell them. You already spend all your time here anywhere. If they kick you out, then you can just officially move in." Rachel loved the thought of the girl living with them permanently.

"Ours. Beautiful daughter of ours." Quinn said and Rachel smiled.

"Right, beautiful daughter of ours. Are you sure you want her to be mine too? I would hate for her to think of me as mom and then something happen with us down the road. It wouldn't be fair to her." Rachel really did like the thought of being another mom to the girl, but she couldn't stand the thought of ever hurting the tiny being in Quinn's stomach.

"I think we should play it by ear. We are only 16. I think she should grow up thinking of you as mom and if something happens, then we will deal with it then. I know you, you would never walk away from her if we broke up somewhere down the line." Quinn said and Rachel knew Quinn was right. She already loved that baby more than anything.

"Ok. I will be mom, too." Rachel smiled.

"Good."

Silence engulfed them and Rachel thought Quinn had fallen asleep.

"Are you nervous about Regional's?" Quinn suddenly asked. They had Regional's in a week.

"A little. I'm not looking forward to singing 'Faithfully' with Finn. I would much rather be singing it to you. I'm excited for the other songs though."

"Are you sure you're ok with being in front of everyone like that?" Quinn asked

"I'm fine, baby." Rachel said and she knew Quinn was worried that the stress of being in front of that many people would make Rachel's insecurities come back. "I promise you. Don't worry so much." Rachel lifted her head and kissed her girlfriend.

"I always worry, pretty girl." Quinn smiled. Rachel sat up and faced Quinn.

"You need to tell your parents before Regional's." Rachel said as she brought the subject back to what needed to be talked about.

"No." Quinn said firmly.

"Quinn, you have to tell them. What are you so afraid of? It's not like they will hurt you. You said yourself they are going to most likely kick you out. That's not that bad, honey, you can come live here. You practically live here already. Then we can be together all the time." Rachel stared deeply into hazel eyes trying to figure out what the blonde was thinking.

"You don't get it." Quinn said as she stood up and walked out of the room. Rachel got up as fast as she could and tried to grab the girl's wrist as she left. She wasn't fast enough though.

"Quinn stop. At least slow down. You're going to trip down the stairs and hurt the baby. Quinn please stop and talk to me." Rachel ran down the stairs after the pregnant girl, who was a lot faster than a pregnant girl should be. "Quinn stop!" Rachel yelled surprising herself with how loud she was. Quinn whipped around with her hand on the doorknob.

"Rachel, please don't," Quinn said quietly as Rachel caught up with her and grabbed her hands.

"Quinn, talk to me." Rachel begged looking into those beautiful eyes she loved so much. "Baby, talk to me," Rachel had no idea what she had said to upset Quinn so much.

"I can't tell you. I've never told anyone." Quinn said as she pulled away from Rachel and walked back through the house to the backdoor. Before Rachel could stop her, she walked outside.

Rachel wasn't sure what to do. She knew Quinn wasn't big on being forced into something she didn't want to do, but Rachel needed to know what was wrong with her girlfriend. She looked at the clock and saw that is was 1 o'clock and they hadn't eaten. Rachel's dad's had gone back to Texas to visit some friends so the girls were on their own. It was Saturday and they had decided to spend the day wrapped in each other's arms, but now Rachel figured that wasn't going to be happening now.

She decided maybe she could take the girl some lunch as a piece offering. She made them each a sandwich, grabbed a bag of potato chips and 2 waters before she walked into the backyard. Quinn was sitting in one of the chairs that surrounded the table, her back to Rachel's. The brunette hesitated for a moment before she saw Quinn's shoulders trembling. Rachel pushed every other thought out of her mind as she rushed over to her girlfriend. She dropped the food onto the table before she went and kneeled in front of the sobbing girl.

"Quinn, honey, talk to me. Tell me what's going on. What did I do to upset you so much?" Rachel asked but Quinn kept crying into Rachel's shoulder. "Alright, Quinn, stand up." Rachel commanded and the blonde did as she was told. Rachel then took her seat and pulled Quinn down onto her lap. The blonde automatically curled into Rachel as she kept crying. Rachel had no idea what to do since she had no idea what was wrong. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and began running her hands up and down her back, trying to calm her down.

They sat like that for what felt like hours before Quinn had finally calmed down enough to talk.

"You need to eat something, baby," Rachel said as she tapped Quinn on her hip so she would stand up. Rachel grabbed the food and put it in front of Quinn before she grabbed another chair and sat as close to Quinn's chair as she could get. Rachel handed Quinn her sandwich and water before taking her own and taking Quinn's left hand into her own. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Rachel couldn't take the silence anymore. "Talk to me. Please." Rachel said quietly as she looked at Quinn. "What did I do to upset you?"

"You didn't do anything," Quinn answered but Rachel didn't believe her.

"I had to have. You were fine until we were talking about you telling your parents that you're pregnant. Is that what upset you? Me telling you to tell your parents?" Rachel asked. She wasn't quite sure how that could have made the girl break down.

"No, it's not you. It's my dad." Quinn said.

"Tell me." Rachel said.

"I'm afraid of him." Quinn said as she looked down at her sandwich and started picking at the crust.

"Why?" Rachel asked, already afraid of the answer.

"I can't," Quinn said.

"You can tell me anything, honey. Anything at all. Always." Rachel said trying to get the blonde to talk to her. Quinn wouldn't answer so Rachel tried to take a different approach. "Quinn did he ever do anything to you?"

Quinn nodded.

"Did he ever touch you?" Rachel asked praying the girl would say no.

Quinn shook her head. Rachel let out a sigh of relief.

"Quinn, did he ever hit you?" Rachel asked. Quinn didn't move. It was like she had turned into a statue. Rachel knew the answer was yes by Quinn's lack of answering. "Ok, you need to talk to me, so I don't drive over there and beat the shit out of him."

Quinn laughed a little and Rachel knew she was picturing tiny Rachel attempting to hurt her dad. Rachel would though. In a heartbeat.

"Talk to me," Rachel said again, this time pushing Quinn's head up so that hazel eyes met her own chocolate ones.

"I don't know what to say," Quinn said.

"How long?" Rachel asked.

"As long as I can remember. Since I was a kid. My dad would hit me and my sister, Courtney, when he drank too much or we angered him." Quinn said as tears began to fill up her eyes again.

"Your mom didn't stop him?" Rachel asked.

"No, she did everything he told her to. Eventually she loved her alcohol as much as he did."

"Did she ever hurt you?" Rachel asked as she reached up to wipe away the tears that were spilling again.

"A couple times, but never that badly." Quinn answered as she leaned into Rachel's hand. The brunette kept her hand on the blonde's cheek for a moment before pulling it away.

"How did no one ever find out?" Rachel couldn't believe that no one had ever known this.

"We learned the hide the bruises or lie about the one's that dad wasn't smart enough to make in places that could be hidden." Quinn looked back down at her lap.

"Since we got together?" Rachel asked.

"No, he hasn't done it in a while. Probably because I spend so much time here. He hasn't really had a chance." Quinn said still not looking up.

"Does Santana know?" Rachel asked and she couldn't imagine that the Latina knew and just let this go.

"No, Britt either." Quinn answered. "I'm afraid he will hurt her." Quinn said as she put the hand that wasn't in Rachel's on her stomach protectively.

"After she is born, we will keep him away from her. Don't worry," Rachel said.

"I don't mean after she is born. What if I tell them and he hits my stomach or pushes me and I fall. What if something happens to her?" Quinn asked.

"I will never let that happen. I will be with you when you tell them. I won't let him lay a finger on you." Rachel said.

"No, you can't be there. I won't let him hurt you and he will." Quinn said.

Rachel thought about arguing but knew better. "Then Santana will be with you." Rachel knew that the Latina would never let anyone lay a finger on Quinn or let anyone ever hurt her niece.

"No." Quinn said.

"Yes," Rachel answered firmly. She saw Quinn silently admit defeat. "I know you aren't going to let me go with you, so I will feel much better if Santana is there with you. Ok, baby?"

Quinn nodded, "Ok, Rach."

"Ok good, now come on, let's go up to my room and get back to our cuddling." Rachel said. She wanted to talk some more, but she knew that no more information was coming out of Quinn today. Besides, Rachel needed to talk to Santana before she could figure out what was needed to be done. Santana had to know more than Quinn thought she did.

The girls grabbed their food and drinks and deposited them in the kitchen before going up to Rachel's room. Rachel laid down and opened her arms for her girlfriend, who settled herself into them, resting her head on Rachel's chest. Quinn pushed up Rachel's shirt and started drawing the circles that Rachel loved so much. Unfortunately instead of calming Rachel like it usually did, it just made Rachel horny. The brunette figured it had something to do with wanting to make Quinn feel better. Rachel pushed the dirty thoughts out of her brain for now. They still hadn't slept together, but Rachel was planning on telling Quinn that she loved her after Regional's. She was also planning on losing her virginity that night as well. Rachel honestly wasn't sure if she would make it that long.

"Quinn do you want to talk some more?" Rachel asked absentmindedly stroking the beautiful blonde hair that was laying on her.

"No," Quinn said as she lifted her head up and closed the distance between their mouths. Their kiss started out slow and tender but quickly intensified. Quinn pulled away for a moment while she sat up and swung her leg over Rachel's body so she was straddling her. Quinn leaned back down and crushed her lips back against Rachel's, pushing her tongue into Rachel's mouth. The brunette could already feel the heat radiating from the blonde's core and she arched her back to try to get closer. Rachel always felt completely powerless when she was beneath her girlfriend, but right now she didn't even care. Quinn kissed Rachel's jawbone and then neck as she tangled her hands into Rachel's hair. Quinn pulled away and smiled at Rachel. "This has got to go," Quinn smirked as she pulled Rachel's shirt up and over her head. The blonde leaned back down and started kissing Rachel through her bra, her fingers now running over Rachel's stomach. Rachel thought she was going to lose her mind. She arched her back as Quinn slipped her hands behind Rachel's back and unhooked her bra. Rachel squirmed at little until Quinn had completely pulled it off. Rachel saw the hue in Quinn's eyes get darker as she leaned down to take Rachel's left nipple into her mouth. Rachel couldn't take it anymore and started moaning loudly. God she loved this girl. Quinn's hands were getting dangerously low as the blonde switched her mouth to Rachel's other breast. Quinn's fingers started to fumble with the button on Rachel's jeans.

"No, baby, stop," Rachel said. It was hands down the hardest thing she ever did. Rachel was panting, trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry," Quinn said, panting as well.

Rachel quickly flipped the pair over so she was now straddling the blonde. She could feel how wet her girlfriend was and it took every ounce of strength she had to stay on Quinn's upper body. She knew she was completely soaked in her own center. She removed Quinn's shirt and bra quickly before licking and kissing up and down Quinn's stomach and chest, making sure to suck each breast in turn, nipples immediately becoming hard. "Fuck," Quinn moaned and Rachel smiled into the girl's neck, where she was sucking on a particularly sensitive spot. She knew that spot drove Quinn absolutely crazy. She pulled her mouth away before kissing back down Quinn's neck and chest before latching her lips onto Quinn's, their tongue's dueling for dominance. Rachel's breathed hitched when she felt their nipples rub against each other. "God, I love you." Quinn said as she pulled their lips apart.

"I know, baby," Rachel said and she bit down and tugged on Quinn's right ear.

"When?" Quinn asked almost completely out of breath.

"After Regional's, win or lose." Rachel growled into Quinn's ear before she slid off her girlfriend and laid down next to her, pulling herself as close as humanly possible to the other girl. She draped her leg over Quinn's and breathed in the smell of Quinn's hair. "You smell so good, baby."

"Why did you stop?" Quinn asked, clearly upset that Rachel was no longer ravishing her body.

"I know I won't be able to stop if I keep going." Rachel smiled into Quinn's hair. She pulled her head up and rested it on Quinn's still naked chest. She started running light circles around Quinn's nipples.

"So Regional's?" Quinn asked. "Where?"

"I figured maybe a hotel? I know it's cliché but my dad's are going to be home and I don't think they would like the sound of their daughter's innocence being taken." Rachel looked up at Quinn and smiled as the blonde's pale cheeks turned bright red. "I'm kidding."

"You aren't that innocent my dear." Quinn said as she leaned down to kiss Rachel before laying her head back again. "I think a hotel sounds amazing."

"Good, I'll make the reservation." Rachel couldn't believe she was finally going to get to sleep with the girl she loved so much.

"Um, Rach, I hate to ask but, um, did you talk to Dr. Colburn about this?" Quinn asked, clearly uncomfortable. They tended to avoid talking about Rachel's shrink.

"I did actually. Well sort of. She basically said as long as I was happy and comfortable and not hating myself, she said I can do what I feel is right," Rachel said.

"Good," Quinn said and Rachel thought of something.

"There is one condition." Rachel said.

"What?" Quinn asked warily.

"You talk to your parents before." Rachel said. She knew it wasn't fair but she knew someone needed to give Quinn a little push.

"Ok," Quinn said silently.

"Good," Rachel said as she pulled herself closer to the blonde. They feel asleep and woke up a few hours later. They grudgingly got out of bed to make some dinner. They ate quickly and Quinn curled up on the couch preparing to watch a movie.

"I have to go run an errand. Will you be ok for a little while?" Rachel asked.

"I'm not 5, sweetie, I will be fine. Do you have to go though?" Quinn asked as she pulled a blanket over her legs.

"Yeah, I won't be long." Rachel leaned over and kissed Quinn before grabbing her purse and walking out the door. As soon as the door was closed behind her, she pulled out her phone and dialed the number that had become too familiar to her.

"Meet me at Rosewood Park in 10 minutes. Alone." She said before getting into her car. She drove quickly and was at the park before she knew it. She got out and walked over towards to swings.

"What's up, Berry? You know it's like nighttime right? You could get raped out here." Santana said.

"I know you would never let anything happen to me. We need to talk." Rachel said as she sat down in the swing next to the Latina.

"Sure, are you ok? Did you cut? Do you need to talk?" Santana asked quickly. It made Rachel laugh how different Santana was around people she clearly cared about. She and Santana had gotten together once a week to talk about all the things Rachel couldn't talk to Quinn or her therapist about. It shocked her how much she trusted Santana when a couple months ago she wanted to strangle her.

"I'm fine, really. It's about Quinn. What do you know about her dad?" Rachel asked.

"I know he is an ass and that he works all the time. Anything specific you are wondering about?" Santana asked carefully.

"Do you know what he does or did to Quinn and Courtney?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Santana answered almost silently. Rachel felt her blood boil.

"What? How long have you known this? How did you find out? Why the hell didn't you do anything?" Rachel stood up from her swing to yell at the Latina.

"Calm down Rachel." Santana said. "You don't want to know how I know."

"Tell me," Rachel said even though she had already put the pieces together.

"Well it's not like she could really cover up the bruises when we had sex. I had already known something was off before that, but seeing the bruises confirmed it. Quinn would just lie about them. Saying they were from Cheerios practice but I knew better." Santana finished.

"Why didn't you do anything?" Rachel couldn't believe Santana had known about this for that long and that she had remained silent about it.

"There wasn't anything I could do. I kept an eye on her and paid closer attention to the things she told me. I made sure she had someone to talk to if she needed it." Santana said as she looked into Rachel's eyes. Rachel could see the pain in them.

"I need you to do me a favor. She is going to tell her parents she is pregnant. I need you to go with her to protect her. She won't let me go." Rachel said sadly.

"Of course. When?"

"Sometime before Regional's. Thanks, Santana."

"No problem, Berry. Is that all? I kind of left my naked girlfriend in my bed and I would really like to finish what I started." Santana said as she stood up to walk off. Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"Tell Brittany I say hi." Rachel said to Santana's retreating back. The Latina waved her hand up into the air without turning around. Rachel suddenly realized she was standing in the dark park by herself now and really didn't want to be raped so she quickly ran to her car.

She was happy to be home and quickly snuggled up on the couch with her girlfriend. She watched Quinn instead of the movie. She was terrified at what was about to happen, but she knew it had to.

"What are you looking at?" Quinn's voice startled Rachel.

"You. You're so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?" Rachel leaned over and kissed her.

"Just wait until next Saturday and I'll show you just how lucky you are." Quinn said back and they snuggled up again to watch the movie.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Santana’s point if view as opposed to Rachel or Quinn’s.

"Hey, baby," Santana whispered into her beautiful blonde's ear. She loved waking up next to her.

"Good morning!" She said sounding far more awake than any one should at 7am.

"Britt, why are you always so cheerful?" Santana asked as she sat up to look at Brittany.

"Because I get to wake up next to you. Duh!" She responded and Santana felt her heart melt.

"Good answer," She said as she leaned down to kiss the blonde. "We have to get ready for school. Want to take a shower with me?" Santana asked looking into those ice blue eyes seductively. Santana felt like she could never get enough of her girlfriend. Just looking at her made the Latina beyond horny.

"Yes!" Brittany responded as she bounded off towards Santana's bathroom. The brunette quickly followed her, shedding her pajamas as she went. Brittany was already standing in the shower, water falling from her skin. Santana felt her breathe hitch. She jumped into the shower as fast as she dared and avoided falling as she pressed her body up against her girlfriend. They showered not so quickly and had so much fun that Santana couldn't stop panting when they were done.

They were late for school now that they had had 'sexy times' as Brittany had dubbed it. It didn't matter though since Santana ruled the school. They had parked and walked up to the front door. Santana switched her brain in bitch mode and the girls walked inside, pinkies clasped. They hadn't even made it to their lockers when Santana saw Karofsky walk by with a slushie in each hand. She watched him for a moment as she saw where he was heading. Before she could stop him, he walked up to Quinn and Rachel and threw the red corn syrup in their faces. "Fags," he said as he walked away.

"Hey prick!" Santana yelled as she walked straight up to him and punched him as hard as she could with her left hand. She heard a satisfying crunch as his nose broke. "What the fuck is your problem?" She yelled as she grabbed him by the shirt with her uninjured hand.

"They're queer. I don't want to see that in my school." He answered as she grabbed he nose.

"It's my school, dumbass, and they can do whatever they want. They are my family and if you do it again I will kill you. If you make fun of them, you are making fun of me since I'm with Brittany. Do not mess with us again." Santana snarled.

"Fine, I won't mess with you, them or your retard girlfriend again." He snapped.

"Big mistake," Santana said as she kneed him as hard as she possibly could in his groin. She released him as he fell down doubled over in pain.

"Bitch," He muttered as he cried in pain.

"You have no idea." Santana said as she walked over to Rachel and Quinn. "Are you ok?" She asked, mostly talking to Rachel. She didn't want the girl hurting herself. Santana felt oddly protective of her.

Rachel nodded before Quinn spoke "Thanks, S. Go get some ice for your hand." Quinn commanded and Santana realized for the first time how much pain she was actually in.

"Ok, call me if you guys need anything. Q, we need to talk later. Bye guys," Santana said as she walked away, stepped over the idiot who was still rolling around in pain, before going back over to Brittany.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"I'm fine, baby, I just need to go get some ice. I'll meet you in the dance studio in 10 minutes, ok?" Santana said. She knew she wasn't going to be going to her 1st period so she figured her and Brittany could just skip together.

"Ok," Brittany said as she kissed Santana and bounced off down the hall.

"Fuck!" Santana said as pain seared through her hand. She decided against going to the nurse, instead she went to the Athletic Training room. "Hey guys, can I have a bag of ice?" Santana asked. The girls in the room quickly filled a bag of ice. Everyone was afraid of the Latina and did as she told them. She wasn't friends with the girls in the room so she had no reason to be nice to them.

"What did you do?" One of the trainers asked.

"I punched Dave Karofsky. He messed with Quinn and Rachel." Santana answered as she put the ice on her hand. She walked out of the room and made her way to the dance studio.

"Brittany?" She asked as she walked in.

"Over here," She answered and Santana saw that she was sitting against the mirror in the far room. "Is your hand ok?"

"It will be fine, baby, don't worry." Santana smiled as she sat down and took Brittany's hand into her right hand. The ice rested on her left hand and Santana could almost no longer feel any pain as the ice numbed her hand.

"Why do you hurt Dave?" Brittany asked as she looked in Santana's eyes.

"He called Rachel and Quinn a bad name." Santana answered.

"What did he say?" She asked.

Santana knew not to lie to Brittany. "He called them fags." Brittany looked at her quizzically. "He was making fun of them because they are gay, because they are dating each other instead of each dating a boy."

"Why does he care so much? I date you. Why does it matter if Rachel and Quinn love each other or that you and I love each other?" Brittany really didn't understand.

"Some people are just ignorant. They think that being gay is wrong. That's why I punched him. Plus Rachel really doesn't need any of this right now. She is still dealing with all the stuff from New Years." Santana said as Brittany laid her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Is Rachel ok since her accident?" Brittany asked.

"She is doing fine, Britt." Santana sat there for a second and decided her and Brittany really needed to talk. "B, do you understand what happened to Rachel? I know you know she had an accident but do you really understand what's going on?"

"Not really, I mean I get that she cut herself, but I don't really understand why," Brittany said.

"Well, she hated herself and cutting herself made her feel better." Santana said.

"Why does she hate herself? She is awesome." Brittany asked.

"Well some people cause themselves physical pain so they don't have to deal with the emotional pain they have." Santana answered.

"Have you ever done that?" Brittany asked and Santana felt herself tense up.

"Yes," She said quietly and Brittany squeezed her hand before turning Santana's wrist over to look at her scars. Brittany traced over the faint lines for a second before leaning over and kissing Santana's lips.

"Do you do it anymore?" Brittany asked.

"No," Santana answered. "You know that scar on my thigh?" Brittany nodded. "Well I cut deeper than I meant to and had to get stitches. My mom made me go to therapy for a while. I'm doing much better now." Santana smiled and the worried look on Brittany's face.

"What keeps you from doing it now? Are you happier now?" Brittany asked.

"You." Santana answered, "You keep me from doing it every day by being you. I'm much happier with you." The Latina smiled before she pulled Brittany into a kiss.

"It's nice to actually talk about stuff. Not that I don't enjoy our sexy times, but I like talking to you too." Brittany said.

"I like talking to you too, baby," Santana said as she shifted the ice on her hands. She winced a little when she tried to move her fingers. "My hand hurts," She said to Brittany.

"Is it broken?" The blonde asked.

"I don't think so. It's just bruised." Santana answered. The bell rang out of the speakers. "Come on, we have to go to class." Santana stood up and offered her right hand to her girlfriend. Brittany took it and allowed Santana to take her to class. She pulled out her phone as soon as they had sat down at their desks and texted Quinn.

"How are you and Rachel" –S

"We are fine. We got all cleaned up. How's your hand?" –Q

"Hurts like a mother. It will be ok though." –S

"You shouldn't have done that." –Q

"I know, but he insulted you and Rachel and I was just worried about what Rachel would do." –S

"She's doing ok, S, you don't have to protect her all the time." –Q

"Neither do you." –S

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. What did you want to talk to me about?" –Q

"Your parents and this whole pregnancy thing." –S

"Rachel talked to you?" –Q

"Yep, but do not be mad at her. I already knew all the stuff she told me. I've known for a while." –S

"How?" –Q

"I've seen you naked many times and you are the worst liar on the planet. I'm going with you to talk to your parents and you're doing it tomorrow." –S

"I don't want to." –Q

"Don't care. You are doing it tomorrow. I'll see you after school." –S

"Fine, see ya." –Q

Santana knew that this whole situation with her parents was going to end so badly, but she also knew it had to be done. She just hoped she would be able to protect Quinn and her niece.


	25. Chapter 25

Quinn was getting really sick and tired of everyone telling her what to do. First Rachel and now Santana. She was over all of this. She was an adult who could make her own decisions. She needed to talk to her girlfriend. They wouldn't see each other until lunch though. She tapped her foot counting down the minutes until she could confront Rachel. Finally the bell rang and she ran to Rachel's locker, knowing the girl always stopped there are the way to the cafeteria. She stood waiting for a few minutes before she finally saw the girl she loved. Well the girl she loved most of the time. Right now, she didn't love her so much.

"We need to talk. Now." Quinn barked as she slipped into bitch mode. The brunette looked startled and Quinn felt a pang of guilt. "We just need to talk. Come on, we are going to the choir room." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist and pulled her down the hall.

"Quinn what's wrong?" Rachel kept asking as Quinn pulled her through the series of hallways. "Baby, what's wrong? Stop, please." Quinn tuned her out. She couldn't focus on Rachel's pleading or else her heart would melt. They walked through the choir room door and shut it behind her. She leaned her head against the door trying to calm the fears and anger before she turned to face her frightened girlfriend. She felt guilt surge through her as she saw that Rachel was shaking. She really hadn't meant to scare the tiny girl. She walked over to Rachel's side and saw the girl flinch.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just angry." Quinn said as she reached out to take Rachel's hand.

"W-what did I do?" She stuttered out sounding like Tina.

"You told Santana about what I told you. About my dad." Quinn said as she dropped Rachel's hand and turned her back to the girl, walking away from her.

"I didn't. She already knew. I did talk to her, but she already knew." Rachel said and Quinn felt her entire body tense.

"You shouldn't have talked to her about it." Quinn snapped.

"Oh you have got to chill out." Rachel said and Quinn turned just in time to see Rachel roll her eyes.

"Eat me." Quinn said.

"Gladly," Rachel smirked as she walked towards Quinn.

"This is not funny." Quinn said but she could feel the anger leaving her body. Rachel's body was now dangerous close and Quinn could smell her perfume. "You shouldn't have talked to her." Quinn said, her voice barely a whisper.

"I couldn't help it. I was worried about you, baby." Rachel said as she looked up into Quinn's eyes.

"She said I have to talk to them tomorrow. Please don't make me." Quinn said as she sat down at the piano bench. Rachel said next to her and pulled the blonde into her arms and Quinn's head pressed into Rachel's chest.

"It needs to be done. Once it's over, you won't have to worry about it anymore and we can get on with getting ready for baby Kristin." Quinn could hear Rachel smile as she spoke.

"We aren't naming her Kristin." Quinn said as she pulled her head up to look into Rachel's espresso colored eyes.

"Fine, let's go eat lunch; we need to get something to eat for you and Baby Kiwi in there." Rachel ran her fingers over Quinn's stomach. Quinn loved feeling Rachel's touch.

"Baby Kiwi? Really?" Quinn laughed.

"I like Kiwis. Everyone always calls their kids pumpkin so I have decided to call her Kiwi." Rachel smiled.

"Are you channeling Brittany?" Quinn asked as she arched her eyebrow.

"Shut up." Rachel said as she leaned in to kiss Quinn. "Are you still mad at me?"

"A little, but I still love you." Quinn said as she leaned in to kiss Rachel again.

"I love you too, Quinn," Rachel said as she pulled away.

Quinn swore she heard wrong. "Really?"

"Very very much," Rachel said as she took Quinn's hand and pulled her to on the chairs that the Glee kids normally sat on. Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel was doing until Rachel straddled her and crushed her lips onto the blondes, forcing her tongue into Quinn's mouth without asking for permission. Quinn placed her hands on Rachel's hips as Quinn felt the brunette grind into her.

"Oh, God," Quinn groaned as Rachel's hands moved to Quinn's breasts.

"Uh hum" Quinn's eyes snapped up as she heard Finn clear his throat.

"Stop thinking about the mailman, Finn," Quinn snapped as she tapped Rachel's hip so she would get off of her lap. "Come on, sweets, let's go get food."

"Finn, close your mouth." Rachel smirked as Quinn pulled her girlfriend out of the room. She pulled her into the cafeteria and they got in line. "I don't think any of this food is good for my little Kiwi." Rachel said and Quinn rolled her eyes and fell even more in love with the brunette.

"Well I have to eat something; I'm starting to get shaky. I can just eat pizza. I'll eat healthy for dinner, I promise." Quinn said and she ignored Rachel's pout and grabbed a piece of pepperoni pizza off the counter and placed it on her tray. "I'll eat a salad too ok?" Quinn grabbed a bowl of leafy greens off the counter as well and laughed as Rachel just glared at her. "Chill, sweetheart. Get some pizza and let's go." Rachel sulked a little but grabbed a piece of pizza and salad as well. Both girls swiped their ID's to pay and went and sat down with Brittany and Santana.

"How's your hand?" Rachel asked as she sat down.

"Hurts like a motherfucker." Santana said as she was trying to eat her food with her right hand. Quinn couldn't help but laugh at her struggling.

"Maybe next time you shouldn't punch with your dominate hand, S." Quinn said.

"What does dominate hand mean?" Brittany asked.

No one laughed as Santana answered. "It means the hand you write with. Since I am left-handed, Quinn is saying that I should have punched that idiot with my right hand so that I could still eat and write."

"Oh, ok. Thanks." Brittany said as she smiled at Santana.

"Anytime, baby," Santana said as the piece of pasta she was trying to pick up fell off her fork. "Fuck." Brittany leaned over and took the fork from her girlfriend and started feeding her. "Britt really its fine, I can do it." Santana took the fork back and Quinn saw her avoid looking at the hurt in Brittany's eyes. Quinn knew that even though Santana was head over heels in love with the other blonde, she wasn't entirely comfortable with PDA at school. "So, Q, what time are we doing this tomorrow?"

Quinn felt her stomach fill with butterflies. "I think they get home at like 7." She said while looking down at her salad, picking through the lettuce.

"Eat," Rachel said and Quinn took a bite to make her happy.

"Alright, Quinn, well I will pick you up at Rachel's around 6:50 tomorrow night and we will go. Rachel, do you mind if Brittany hangs out with you until we are done?" Santana said as she turned towards Rachel.

"That's completely fine. We can watch a movie." Rachel smiled at Brittany who looked genuinely excited.

"What are you guys doing?" Brittany asked.

"Q and I are going to go over and talk to her parents about all the pregnancy stuff." Santana answered getting increasingly frustrated by her food. If Quinn wasn't so concerned about what was about to happen, she would have laughed at the head cheerleader trying to eat.

"Why do you have to go with her?" Brittany asked.

"Well Judy and Russell aren't going to handle it so well, so I need to be there to make sure that Quinn and our niece are safe." Santana said as she looked at Quinn. The ex-Cheerio was trying to not make eye contact with anyone. She felt Rachel's arm snake around her waist. She looked up and Rachel leaned over and kissed her.

"You're ok," Rachel whispered into her ear. Quinn just nodded. She didn't want to speak. Quinn was afraid if she opened her mouth, she would throw up.

"I'll be back," Quinn said as she grabbed her purse. She needed some air. The blonde was terrified about what was going to happen the next day. She was so scared something was going to hurt her daughter.

"I'll come with you," Rachel said, standing up.

"No, stay and eat." Quinn said and she walked out the cafeteria. She ran outside to get some air, before turning around and heading to the girls locker room. It was empty of course since it was Tuesday and the Cheerios had had practice earlier that morning. Quinn looked around the room just to make sure no one was there, she grabbed the free standing ladder that was always in the locker room and sat it up against the far right wall. Being very careful, she climbed up the ladder and pushed up on the ceiling tile. It moved apart easily and Quinn hoisted herself up into the ceiling. It was a little more difficult now that she was pregnant and hadn't been working out recently, but she was able to get up safely.

Quinn hadn't been up there in a few months. It was where she and Santana used to go when they needed to get away. It was where Santana had hidden away when she realized she loved Brittany. It was where Quinn had run to when she found out she was pregnant. The blonde knew that Santana would eventually find her when Quinn didn't return to class or go to Glee that afternoon, but Quinn needed to not be around people. She flicked on the battery powered lantern that they had put up there before replacing the ceiling tile so that she was plunged into semi darkness. She carefully walked through the rafters, lantern in hand, and made her way to the corner of the classroom sized attic space. Quinn laid down on the pile of pillows that her and Santana had bought specifically for their messed up tree house in the ceiling. Quinn let the scent of Santana that had been left of the pillows wash over her for a moment, her mind filling with their past hook ups up there. The spicy smell of the Latina became too much quickly and Quinn felt her heart tug. She wanted Rachel. At the same time, she didn't want to deal with what her girlfriend and best friend were about to force her to do. She grabbed her iPod out of her purse and snuggled herself deeper into the pillows, trying to pretend the scent of Santana was the scent of the girl she loved.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray!"

Quinn woke with a start as her iPod ear buds were ripped out of her ear.

"What the fuck do you want, Santana?" Quinn snapped, pissed that she had been woken up, not that she had been having a good dream. In fact, she had been having a nightmare.

"Ooh language from the mom to be." Santana smirked as she laid down next to Quinn. "What are you doing up here, Q?"

"Hiding," Quinn answered.

"Yeah I got that, other than sex, that's the only reason either of us ever come up here. So unless you want me to make you come right here, tell me what's up." Santana smiled as she traced her fingers up Quinn's arm.

"Ok first off, you will never make me come again. The last time didn't end so great. Second off, stop talking about making me come. It's weird how open you are about that. Third off you know what I'm hiding from." Quinn pushed Santana's hand off her arm.

"You can't stay up here forever, babe." Santana said, her sarcastic tone falling away.

"Is she worried about me?" Quinn asked hating that she probably scared her girlfriend.

"She was freaking out. She ran around the whole school before she stopped to ask me where you were. Rachel said she hadn't talked to you since you left us at lunch. Q, she was freaking out. She said she called you like 10 times and you wouldn't answer. She was almost in tears." Santana said as Quinn remembered she turned her phone off. She reached over, took it out and turned it back on. 15 missed calls and 20 texts. She flipped the phone around to show Santana. "Yeah, she was pretty scared. I don't recommend you turn your phone off again. Ever. Anyway I told her that I knew where you most likely were and that I would go find you. Speaking off, give me your phone." Santana took it without waiting for permission. She pushed a few buttons and it was silent for a moment. Quinn heard ringing and knew that Santana must have put it on speakerphone.

"Quinn, are you ok?" Quinn heard Rachel's voice and she broke down.

"Sweetie, I'm ok. I'm sorry I scared you." Quinn said as she tried to force back sobs.

"Where are you? I'm going to come find you." Rachel begged.

"I will come find you in a little while I promise." Quinn said. She didn't want Rachel finding out about this place in case she needed somewhere to hide again.

"Ok, please come find me soon. I love you so much, Quinn. Santana, thanks for finding her." Rachel said.

"Anytime, Berry. I will bring her to you soon. Bye." Santana said and she hung up the phone.

"You didn't even let me tell her that I love her." Quinn said pouting.

"She knows. Now talk." Santana commanded. Quinn thought about lying but knew that it was no use.

"I'm scared my dad is going to hurt her." Quinn said softly. Santana laced their fingers together before speaking.

"Rachel?" Santana asked.

"Her too, but mostly I was talking about my daughter." Quinn ran her free hand over her stomach as she felt the baby kick. "You guys are forcing me to tell them tomorrow. What if he hits me in the stomach or throws something at me or what if he pushes me and I fall. What if something happens to her? I love her so much." Quinn completely broke down sobbing as she curled into Santana, tears soaking her Cheerios uniform.

"Alright, Q, sit up, sweetie and look at me." Quinn did as she was told, shoulders still shaking. "Quinn, I know you don't want to talk to your parents, but you are 7 months pregnant and they are going to have to find out. I'm sorry, but they are going to find out. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, but I honestly think you need to do this. You know that I will protect you with me life and I will protect that baby even more."

Quinn wasn't sure what to say.

"Quinn, please talk to me."

"I don't know what to say. I know you will protect us. I have no doubt about that. I know that they need to know. I really do. I want to tell them to get it over with, so I can move in with Rachel officially, since I know they will kick me out. I'm just so scared about the damage he is going to afflict on me."

"Would you rather raise that baby at your house or Rachel's?"

"Rachel's, of course." Quinn answered not sure where this was going.

"Would you rather have Hirum and Leroy being grandparents to your daughter or Judy and Russell?

"Hirum and LeRoy, but Santana, what are you getting at?" Quinn asked.

"Would you rather keep your daughter or have to give her up?" Santana asked.

"Keep her, without a doubt, keep her." Quinn answered.

"Ok, well then as a mother, doesn't that mean that you would do anything to protect your child?" Quinn nodded before Santana continued. "Even dealing with a little pain to make sure she gets everything she could ever want?"

It suddenly dawned on Quinn what Santana was doing. "You want me to let me dad hit me, so that I can raise my baby the way I want. You want me to let me dad hurt me so my daughter can be safe?"

"Quinn all I want is for you to be happy. I have never seen you happier than when you are with Rachel or talking about your daughter. I'm really not trying to push you into anything, even if I do think you need to do it. It will be ok. If you never believe anything else I ever say again, believe this: I will not let him hurt that baby. Ever."

"Ok." Quinn whispered.

"Ok?" Santana asked.

"I'll do it. For her." Quinn said, the word 'her' having double meaning.

"I'm proud of you, Q." Santana said as she pulled Quinn into a hug. She released the blonde her expression turning serious. "Quinn, we have to talk."

"Uh, S, we are talking. What's wrong? Why did you all of a sudden go all bad moody?" Quinn was getting worried fast.

"Quinn you know I love you. You are in a weird way my soul mate. I know that no matter what happens with Rachel or Brittany, that you and I will be friends for the rest of our lives."

Quinn was getting more and more scared by the moment. "Santana you're not like dying are you?"

"No. Here's the deal. After tomorrow, we can't keep relying on each other so much. I saw the hurt in Rachel's eyes when I said that I knew where you were hiding. You need to start leaning on her more and on me less. The same goes for me and Brittany. You are my best friend. We need to get back to that and leave behind the lover's connection we kept after we stopped sleeping together."

Quinn knew Santana was making sense; it was just weird to hear.

"She needs you and you need her. Talk to her, share your secrets with her, make love to her, and tell her how much you love and need her every day. We have to stop doing that with each other and do it with our girlfriends. Ok?" Santana finished and she unlaced the fingers that Quinn had forgotten were together.

"I get it. You're right. Can we go see Rachel now?" Quinn asked as they stood up and made their way back to the hole in the floor. They pushed back the tile, turned off the lantern and climbed down the ladder, Santana first so she could catch Quinn if she fell, and walked to the choir room.

"Hey pretty girl," Quinn said as she walked over to Rachel and pressed her lips firmly to her girlfriend's. "I love you so much."

Rachel sat their dumbfounded as Quinn took the seat next to hers and laced their fingers. Quinn couldn't wait for Glee to end for the day. She wanted to take Rachel home and talk to her about everything and that's exactly what they did. They spent the evening cuddled up on Rachel's bed talking about everything. For the first time Quinn felt herself completely let go with Rachel. Quinn had never been in love with Santana, but Quinn knew the Latina had been right, she would never have been able to fully commit to Rachel, while she still had Santana waiting in the wings to pick up the pieces.

The night and next day flew by too quickly for Quinn's liking. Before she knew it Santana and Brittany were at Rachel's house to switch out the blondes.

"Are you ready Q?" Santana asked.

"No, but let's go." Quinn said feeling like she was going to be sick.

"Come here baby," Rachel said and Quinn walked over and pressed into her. "I love you more than anything. I will be here when you get back. Everything will be ok." She kissed Quinn lightly and lovingly.

"I love you too, Rach, thanks." Quinn said and she hugged her girlfriend one last time before turning and walking out the front door with Santana close on her heels.

They rode in silence and they were turning into Quinn's driving within 10 minutes and for once Quinn hated living in such a small town.

"Are you ready, Q?" Santana asked and Quinn nodded. The brunette took the blonde's hand into her own as they walked up the steps and through the front door.

"Mom, dad, I'm home." Quinn yelled squeezing Santana's hand tighter. They walked into the living room and saw Russell and Judy sitting on the couch, each with a tumbler of scotch.

"Hello, Quinn. Nice of you to come home for once." Judy said and Quinn felt the muscles in Santana's arm tighten.

"Um, I need to talk to you guys for a minute. It's important." Quinn said, her voice shaking.

"What's going on Quinn? What do you need money for now?" Russell said in a bored voice. Quinn heard a low growl come from Santana.

"Calm down," Quinn whispered before turning back to her parents.

"I don't need any money. Um, there is not easy way to say this so I guess I will just come out and say it." Quinn started and Russell stood up and walked over to the liquor tray to the left of Quinn. "Mom, dad, I'm um, well, I'm pregnant." Quinn finally was able to spit out the words and she heard glass break. She whipped her eyes to her mother and saw that she was sitting there with her mouth open, her glass in a million pieces on the floor.

"Please say something," Quinn begged as she pulled her hand out of Santana's and walked carefully over to her dad. He looked at her for a moment before raising his hand and backhanding her across the face. Quinn felt a surge of pain as his heavy college ring collided with the piece if bone between her nose and eye. She knew she was going to end up having a black eye in a few hours. Quinn let the tears fall as the pain became unbearable. She saw Santana move towards her dad out of the corner of her eye.

"Santana don't." Quinn yelled. Santana was startled out of her rage and she glared at Quinn.

"Why the fuck not?" She hissed.

"Because he will file assault and battery charges against you." Quinn said.

"So? He fucking hit you."

"She is my fucking daughter and I can do whatever the fuck I want and you can't do anything about it you filthy little Mexican." He snarled and Santana lunged.

"Santana stop!" Quinn screamed.

Santana didn't hit him, but she got in his face.

"I don't give a fuck, Quinn. One of Rachel's dads is a lawyer and he will get me off if I hit this prick."

"One of Rachel's dads? You mean those queer Berry's? Why the fuck are you associated with that scum." Russell looked like he smelled something fowl.

"Please, Q." Santana begged to hit him.

"No, Santana."

"We raised you better than to hang around with fags." This time it was Quinn who lunged. She couldn't handle her dad talking about Rachel's family that way. She wanted to kill him. She didn't notice when he brought his hand back and slapped her across the face. She fell to the ground, landing on her side. She panicked, not thinking about the pain in her face but willing her daughter to move.

"Santana?" Quinn begged and Santana was at her side in a heartbeat. "She isn't moving. Make her move. Please." Quinn could feel the tears in her eyes. "I can't feel her." Quinn knew that Santana didn't know what to do. Quinn looked up at her dad who looked like he had just won the lottery.

Santana started stroking Quinn's stomach, "Mija, it's your Aunt Santana, your mommy and I need for you to kick, sweetie. Please. Move." Santana was crying now.

"Well that's that," Russell said.

"Shut the fuck up, just shut the fuck up." Santana screamed, her hand not leaving Quinn's stomach. "Come on, pretty girl, please move for us." Santana said still begging. They were silent for a moment before Quinn felt it. Her daughter kicked, hard.

"She kicked. Oh thank God, she kicked." Quinn said smiling through the pain in her face.

"I know, I felt her." Santana leaned over and kissed Quinn on the forehead. Santana help Quinn up who turned to face her father.

"You're a disgrace," Russell said. Quinn flinched at his words.

"Why? Because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?" Quinn said, tears falling from her eyes. "That's why you feel the need to hit me? I love my daughter and I can't wait to meet her in 2 months."

"How far along are you?" Judy asked startling Quinn. The blonde had forgotten her mom was even there.

"7 months." Quinn answered.

Judy just broke down in sobs.

"You think you are smart enough and capable enough to raise it alone? Not even close." Russell snarled.

"I want be alone. I'll have Puck, Santana, Brittany and Rachel." Quinn said and Russell started to walk away.

"The queer's daughter? Why are you hanging out with her?" Russell asked as he stopped at the couch and stood behind it, facing Quinn and Santana again.

"Because she is my girlfriend and I'm in love with her." Quinn said her voice not showing a hint of being frightened. Russell threw the glass full of alcohol at the girls, missing their heads by inches. The glass smashed against the wall as a shard sliced Quinn's cheek, another cutting open Santana's forehead.

"You're what? Get out of this house. The pregnancy we could have figured out a way to deal with, but I will not have a fag in my house or in my family. Leave and never ever contact us again." Russell said.

"That was my plan." Quinn said. She led Santana upstairs and the girls packed everything they could fit into Quinn's Louis Vuitton suitcases, before Santana carried them outside and they climbed into the car. Santana drove them around the corner before she put the car in park.

"Q, are you ok?"

"Yes and no." Quinn answered her voice breaking.

"I'm so sorry I didn't protect her, protect you. I'm so so sorry." Santana said as she pulled Quinn into her arms.

"Santana it's not your fault. My daughter is fine, you did protect her. Thanks to you she and I will be ok." Quinn managed to say between sobs, trying to get the Latina to stop blaming herself. "Please take me to Rachel." Quinn pulled back and sat against the headrest, her hand never leaving her stomach and the pain in her cheeks and eye making her feel sick. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why did you call my daughter 'mija?' Doesn't that mean daughter?" Quinn asked.

"Um, yeah, sorry I just panicked. My brain wouldn't translate the two languages fast enough." Santana said sheepishly.

"Oh, well even though she isn't your daughter, you are more than welcome to call her that." Quinn said before silence engulfed them again.

They reached Rachel's house and Quinn ran through the front door.

"Oh my God, Quinn," Rachel ran over and pulled Quinn into a hug, the blonde collapsing in tears burying her head in Rachel's brunette locks. "I'm sorry, God, I'm so sorry. Are you ok? I mean obviously not, but baby, oh Quinn." Rachel said crying, pulling Quinn tighter. The blonde melted in Rachel's arms, feeling safe again.

Santana and Brittany sat on one of the couches entwining their limbs.

"I officially live here." Quinn said.

"Q are you going to be ok?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, S, I'll be ok, you guys can leave. Thanks for everything." Quinn said looking up from Rachel's hair, but not leaving Rachel's protective arms to hug the Cheerios goodbye.

"Honey, we need to get you some ice." Rachel said wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist and walking her into the kitchen.

"Where are your dad's?"

"They are at a benefit." Rachel said taking a bag of frozen peas and a bag of frozen carrots out of the freezer. She tried to pull away from Quinn for a moment but Quinn refused to let her. "Baby, I have to let go of you so we can walk of the stairs, but I promise we can cuddle up together when we get up there."

Quinn reluctantly let go and followed her girlfriend up the stairs. The girls laid on the bed, limbs and bodies tangled together as Quinn pressed the bags of frozen vegetables to her face, not even caring that there was dried blood on her cheek.

"Quinn, honey, please tell me what happened." Rachel begged.

Quinn told her every detail of what had transpired. Retelling the story brought Quinn back to that moment and Quinn fell into a catatonic state when she was finished. She felt like she couldn't breathe, couldn't focus on anything even what Rachel was saying to her. She just kept thinking that she didn't have parents over and over again. She vaguely felt Rachel pull her into the bathroom and take off all of the blonde's clothes. She vaguely felt the water fall down her body when Rachel put her in the shower. Her brain barely even registered her girlfriend clad only in a bra and panties, trying to wash Quinn's hair and carefully clean up her face. She didn't feel anything as Rachel ran a loofah over every inch of Quinn's body getting it clean. Quinn felt nothing when Rachel changed her into a pair of pajamas and felt even less when she saw Rachel shed her own wet clothing to change into a pair of pajamas too.

Quinn felt a little warmth as Rachel pulled the covers over the 2 of them, pulling the blonde into her body, wrapping herself around her completely. Quinn barely registered any of this. Quinn did however register when her girlfriend's breathing evened out and Quinn slowly slipped herself out from Rachel's arms and walked into the bathroom. She looked at her face in the mirror and gasped. Her eye had indeed turned black and underneath was a nasty looking cut. Both cheeks were already black and deep purple tinted from the bruises.

The blonde stood there for a moment, staring at her reflection, hating her life. Before her brain registered what she was doing, she punched the mirror with all the strength she could muster.

"Fuck," She exclaimed as pain seared through her hand and up her arm, blood pouring out of the cuts that were now on her knuckles. She sank back to the floor sobbing, looking at the mirror that was now destroyed.

"Quinn, what did you do?" Rachel ran in, sleep in her eyes. Quinn watched her take in the scene before sitting down on the ground and pulling the blonde to her chest. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry I made you do this. I'm so so so sorry." Rachel repeated over and over again.

Quinn didn't care. It wasn't Rachel's fault and she knew it. "It's not your fault, sweetie." Quinn whispered.

"Quinn, how do I make you better?" Rachel asked helplessly.

"I don't know. I feel so broken." Quinn said and she collapsed into tears again, burying her head in Rachel's hair, breathing in the vanilla scent.


	26. Chapter 26

"No!"

Rachel was woken up by Quinn's screaming. "Quinn, wake up, baby, wake up." Rachel shook the blonde, trying to get her to wake up; instead she just kept thrashing around. "Quinn, wake up, you're having a nightmare. Quinn!" Rachel practically screamed and she was met with hazel eyes filled with terror. "You're ok, you're ok." Rachel pulled Quinn into a hug, running her hands up and down her girlfriend's back. Quinn held tightly to Rachel's tank top, sobbing into her, still shaking. "Shhhh, you're ok, Quinn, you're here in our bedroom. You're ok. I've got you." Rachel said trying to calm Quinn's sobs. It scared Rachel how badly Quinn was shaking. Rachel laid the two of them back down snuggling back under the covers, pulling Quinn in closer, as close as she could physically get her. Quinn buried her head into the crook of Rachel's neck and Rachel felt Quinn try to move their bodies closer. Quinn intertwined their legs and after that, there really wasn't any space left between them.

There was a knock at the door and Rachel's daddy poked his head in. "Is everything ok?" He asked.

"Yeah daddy, everything is ok. Quinn just had a nightmare, she will be ok." Rachel said trying to keep her dad from seeing Quinn's beaten up face or busted up knuckles.

"Ok, come get us if you need anything. We will see you girls in the morning. Love you." He said and he shut the door, forcing Rachel to focus on Quinn's still shaking body. She had calmed down for the most part, but she was still sniffling. Rachel's shirt was completely covered in Quinn's tears. Rachel wasn't sure what to say, so she kept quiet and continued to hold Quinn tightly against her. Rachel heard Quinn's breathing even out as she fell asleep, her hand still gripping Rachel's shirt.

Rachel wasn't sure when she fell back asleep, but the next thing she knew, her alarm was going off. Rachel reached over and turned it off before turning back over and brushing the hair out of the eyes of the girl she loved.

"Quinn, honey you need to wake up." Rachel said as she took in Quinn's face in the sunlight that was streaming through her windows. It made Rachel's heart ache to see Quinn so hurt. The corner of her right eye was a deep purple color and the cut beneath wasn't too deep, but was an angry red. Both cheeks were a lighter purple than her eye, but still looked painful. Rachel felt so guilty for making Quinn go over there, even after Quinn told her what her dad was like.

Quinn stirred a little but didn't open her eyes; she just cuddled closer to Rachel, mumbling incoherently.

"Quinn, baby, you need to wake up. We need to talk about school. You can go back to sleep in a minute." Rachel tried again and Quinn's eyes slowly opened.

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Baby, it's 7 am. Do you want to go to school? Or do you want to stay home today? I will stay home with you." Rachel asked trying to focus on anything other than the bruises on Quinn's face.

"We have to go to school. I have a test first period." Quinn said.

"I'm sure we can get your teacher to give you a retest if you want to stay home." Rachel said running her fingers along Quinn's stomach. Quinn pulled away from her touch.

"No, it's fine. We should go." Quinn said as she stood up and walked into the bathroom. Rachel followed her and when she walked into the bathroom, she saw Quinn staring at the mirror, not moving.

"I'm sorry I broke your mirror." Quinn said, her voice showing no emotion.

"It's our mirror, and it's fine. I just hate that your hurt your hand doing it." Rachel said as tried to pull Quinn into a hug, but the girl pulled away.

"My hand is fine. We need to get ready for school. Will you get out? I need to take a shower." Quinn said her voice almost cold.

"Quinn, I gave you a shower last night. You're clean." Rachel said "Let me doctor your hand." Rachel tried to take Quinn's hand into hers but Quinn pulled away once again, not meeting Rachel's eyes.

"My hand is fine, my face is fine. I need to take a shower. Please let me." Quinn said and Rachel felt her heart hurt as Quinn pushed her away.

"Ok, baby. If you need anything, just yell for me, ok?" Rachel said, not moving.

"I won't need you. I don't want you to see me naked." Quinn said, eyes still not coming up from the floor.

"Uh, Quinn, honey, I have seen you naked a few times." Rachel said, worry and confusion filling her voice.

"I don't want you to see me." Quinn said again finally bringing her hazel eyes up to meet Rachel's own. Rachel saw the fear in them.

"Quinn is there something you aren't telling me?" Rachel asked keeping her distance and fighting ever urge she had to wrap her arms around the broken blonde.

"No," Quinn said and Rachel saw the tears start to fill her eyes. "Please go, so I can take a shower."

Rachel just nodded and walked out of the bathroom. She knew why Quinn was shutting her out. The blonde blamed her for what had happened. Rachel felt awful. The brunette sat on the bed for a moment, debating getting out the razor blade she had hidden in her top dresser drawer, but instead she decided to go talk to her dads. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen before she pulled herself up to sit on the counter.

"Rachel, are you ok?" LeRoy asked as he made coffee.

"Where's dad?" Rachel asked, ignoring his question.

"He is in his office." LeRoy answered.

"Can you please go get him?" Rachel asked.

He walked out and returned a moment later with Hirum in tow. They both sat at the kitchen table and Rachel jumped down from the counter and stood in front of them.

"What's going on?" Hirum asked.

"Something happened with Quinn last night." Rachel started.

"Is it the baby? Is she ok? Is Quinn ok?" LeRoy started panicking.

"The baby is fine. She almost wasn't but she is fine now. Quinn is not so ok." Rachel answered picking at the nail polish on her fingers.

"What happened?" Hirum asked.

"I made her go tell her parents about the baby and her dad beat her up. Her face is cut and bruised. She punched the mirror in my bathroom and now her hand is all busted up too. She told them that we were dating and they kicked her out, so I guess she is living here officially now." Rachel finished feeling a fresh pang of guilt.

"Oh my God. Where is she?" Hirum jumped up, terror and anger in his voice. "I'm going to kill Russell Fabray." He started to leave the kitchen.

"Dad, stop. She is in the shower." Rachel said and Hirum stopped and turned back around looking at Rachel and his husband.

"Is she ok?" LeRoy asked.

"No she is no ok. Her dad beat the shit out of her." Rachel yelled.

"Language Rachel," Hirum warned.

"Sorry, but seriously what are we going to do?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel, honey, obviously we care about Quinn like she is our daughter and my guess is that one day you will manage to make that official, and as much as I want to go over and kick the tar out of that ass of a man, we can do anything until we talk to Quinn." Hirum said.

"Language dad." Rachel said back, she was pissed that they were just going to sit there. "You have to do something. The girl I love is sitting upstairs, completely broken and you are just going to sit here?"

"Rachel, your father is an adult; do not speak to him like that." LeRoy said sternly. "We will do whatever Quinn asks us to do."

"Sorry," Rachel said not meaning it in the least.

"Now since Quinn is going to be living with us, we need to set some ground rules." Hirum started.

"Screw ground rules." Rachel said and she stormed out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. She walked back into her bedroom and saw Quinn sitting on the bed crying. She ran over and tried to pull the girl into a hug but she pulled away, stood up and walked over to the mirror in Rachel's room and started applying concealer over her bruises. Rachel felt defeated. It killed her that Quinn was mad at her.

"Quinn, please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry." Rachel begged walking over to the girl. Quinn just continued to apply make-up completely stone faced.

"Did you tell your dads?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, they want to know what you want to do about your dad." Rachel said. Quinn flinched at the mention of her dad.

"Nothing, I don't want to do anything. Get dressed. We have to go to school." Quinn said as she walked out of the room.

Rachel had no idea what to do so she got dressed and grabbed her book bag. She walked out of her bedroom and saw Quinn sitting on the floor. Rachel sat down next to her and looked into hazel eyes.

"I didn't want to face your dads without you." Quinn said. Rachel put her arm around Quinn and tried to pull her closer and once again the blonde pulled away. "Don't." Quinn said. "We have to go to school." Quinn stood up and walked down the stairs without another word. Rachel was trying to not become frustrated with her girlfriend, but it was difficult. She just wanted Quinn to talk to her. Rachel followed Quinn down the stairs, yelling bye to her dads and drove the pair to school. The car ride was silent. Completely silent. The radio wasn't even on.

"I'll see you at lunch." Quinn said once they made it to school.

"Quinn, please." Rachel begged but Quinn just walked away. Rachel had no choice but to go to class. She had no idea what her first 3 teachers of the day said. She hadn't heard a single word. Lunch wasn't coming quick enough. Rachel sent a few texts to Quinn but there was no reply. Finally the bell rang signifying lunch time and Rachel raced towards the cafeteria. She looked around for a while before going over to Santana and Brittany.

"Where is she?" Rachel asked, not even saying hello. She noticed the angry cut on Santana's forehead, it matched Quinn's.

"I'm gonna need more than that, Berry," Santana said, looking bored.

"You know who, Santana, just tell me where she is." Rachel said, becoming increasingly frustrated with the Latina.

"You lost Quinn?" She asked, eyebrow raised.

"Quinn is lost? Where is she?" Brittany asked.

"I don't know, Brittany, that's why she is lost." Rachel said sounding more irritated than she meant to. Brittany's face fell. "I'm sorry, Britt, I didn't mean to sound so frustrated. I'm just worried about her. She wouldn't even let me touch her this morning."

"Ew, Berry, I do not need to hear about your sexcapades. I'm eating." Santana smirked.

"Not what I meant and you know it. She wouldn't even let me hug her." Rachel said as her heart broke. "She is so upset, so mad at me."

"Maybe she is feeding the ducks. That's where I go when I'm upset with Santana." Brittany said smiling.

"I'm sorry, but when are you upset with me?" Santana turned towards Brittany.

"Can we deal with that later?" Rachel interrupted.

"She isn't feeding the ducks, B." Santana said and she turned back to Rachel.

"You know where she is?" Rachel asked.

"Of course I do." Santana answered.

"Why the fuck do you get to know where she is and I don't? I'm her fucking girlfriend." Rachel spat letting out all the frustrations she was feeling.

"Wow, Berry, nice mouth. I didn't think you had it in it." Santana just smiled. "Chill out though; I will take you to her." Santana stood up, leaned down to kiss Brittany and led Rachel through the halls. It didn't take long for Santana to start talking.

"Did you do it?" Santana asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Rachel answered but of course she knew.

"Cut yourself." Santana whispered looking down at Rachel as they walked.

"No." Rachel answered.

"Are you lying to me?" Santana asked.

"No," Rachel said again.

"Look, I know you're upset and stressed and hating yourself for what happened to Quinn and I know that will lead you to do it. So I will ask you one more time and you better not lie to me." Santana said sternly.

"I didn't do it. I swear. I wanted to so badly, but I didn't." Rachel answered looking into Santana's deep brown eyes.

"Give it to me." Santana said.

"Give you what, Santana?" Rachel was getting tired of this. Why didn't the Latina ever just ask straight out.

"The razorblade I know is in your backpack. Give it to me. Quinn has enough to deal with, without you slicing and dicing on your arm." Santana stopped once they were standing in the empty gym and held her hand out. Rachel had no choice but to dig in her backpack and take out the razorblade that was still in there. She handed it to the Latina who walked over to the nearest trashcan and threw it away.

"Thanks, Santana." Rachel said, although she wasn't entirely sure she was thankful. "How's your hand?

"It still hurts a little from connecting with Karofsky's, but it just feels a little bruised. It's no big deal. The cut on my forehead hurts more."

"I'm sorry about that." Rachel said.

"It's not your fault."

"I'm still sorry." Rachel said. "Now where is she?"

"Come on." Santana said and she led Rachel into the girl's locker room.

"What are we doing in here?" Rachel asked.

"This is the Cheerios' locker room. This is where she is." Santana said. Rachel looked around and saw no one in sight.

"Uh, Santana, there isn't anyone in here." Rachel thought for a split second that the Latina had brought her in there to murder her.

"Trust me, she is in here." Santana pointed at a ladder that was pressed against the wall. "Climb up the ladder and into the ceiling. I'll see you later." Santana left and Rachel stood there feeling stupid. Was this some kind of practical joke?

She debated for a moment before climbing the ladder and pushing up the ceiling tile. She climbed up a little more and poked her head in the ceiling. Sure enough, she saw Quinn in the corner. She pulled herself up the rest of the way and replaced the ceiling tile.

"How did you know I was here?" Quinn asked. Rachel walked over to the pile of pillows Quinn was laying on.

"Santana." Rachel answered as she laid down next to her, taking her hand. Quinn actually let her. The blonde curled up into Rachel and started crying. "Oh, baby, it's ok, I'm here." Rachel hated that Quinn was crying again but loved that she was letting Rachel hold her. "You have to talk to me, honey, please."

Quinn looked up at her with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry I pushed you away this morning."

"It's ok, I know you are mad at me." Rachel said.

"I'm not mad at you Rachel. Not even a little bit. You just made me do what I was too afraid to do. You made me do what needed to be done. It's not your fault and it's not Santana's fault." Quinn said, snuggling into Rachel.

"Then what is wrong? Why did you pull away from me this morning?" Rachel asked.

"I felt ashamed of what had happened. I didn't want you touching me. I thought I had lost the baby and I didn't want anyone touching my stomach. I was afraid I would lose her again. I felt awful about busting up your mirror." Quinn said.

"Your daughter is safe. Stop worrying about the mirror and do not be ashamed. You did nothing wrong." Rachel paused. "Quinn why wouldn't you let me see you naked? Why did you need to take another shower?"

"I don't know, I just felt tainted. I didn't want you to see the bruise along my ribcage from where I fell last night. I know it wasn't there when you gave me a shower and I didn't want you to worry anymore than you already were." Quinn finished.

"It's not a bad thing for me to be worried. Why did you wake up screaming? What were you dreaming about?" Rachel asked, remembering how scared Quinn was.

"He killed her. He killed her and he was laughing about it." Quinn answered, her voice breaking again. "There was blood and she was laying their lifeless."

Rachel could feel tears in her own eyes as she pictured their daughter's dead body.

"Quinn you can't keep shutting me out and you can't keep running away and hiding up here. And seriously you have got to stop shutting off your phone." Rachel said.

"I didn't shut it off. My dad cut off my service this morning." Quinn said and Rachel felt a little relieved.

"Quinn are you going to be ok? What do you need me to do?" Rachel asked feeling completely lost.

"Just be you. Just lay here with me. Just stay." Quinn answered pulling Rachel closer.

"Always." Rachel answered.

"What do you want to do about Saturday?" Quinn asked and Rachel remembered the hotel reservations.

"Quinn obviously that is the last thing on my mind. We can push it back until your face and hand heal and you are feeling better." Rachel answered.

"Ok, good, but can we not push it back too long?" Quinn asked and Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

"Nice to see that you are still horny, Fabray. I will push it back a week. How does that sound?" Rachel asked.

"Perfect." Rachel could hear Quinn smile and it melted her heart.

"Quinn, I know you don't want to talk about it, but what do you want to do about your dad?" Rachel asked.

"I really don't want to do anything. Santana was right. I needed to deal with a little pain so my daughter could be safe. I did that and I don't want to do anything else." Quinn answered.

"But Quinn you need to press charges."

"No." Quinn said sternly.

"My dad's aren't going to like this. They are ready to go over there and kick your dad's ass. They are pretty pissed. They have both texted me a few times asking how you were and telling me to make sure I didn't go over and hurt your dad. I'm pretty sure they were just trying to keep themselves in check. I wouldn't be surprised if they have already gone over there though." Rachel liked the mental image of her dads destroying Russell.

"They can't. He will file assault and battery charges." Quinn said, her voice wavering.

"Yeah, pretty sure they don't care about that one." Rachel said smiling. "Quinn why did you want to come to school if you were just going to hide up here?"

"I had to take that test. I came up here after that. Everyone kept staring at me. I couldn't handle it." Quinn answered.

"Do you want to go home?" Rachel asked.

"No, can we just stay up here until school is over?"

"Of course, baby, whatever you want." Rachel answered as she wrapped her arms tighter around the girl. "How on earth did you discover this place?"

"Um, Santana discovered it actually. I'm honestly not sure how. But she decided it was going to be our secret lair. It has always been where we come when we are upset or when we wanted to, um" Quinn trailed off.

"Right, ew." Rachel said. "You know this place probably isn't very safe. How do you know you won't collapse through the floor?"

"We don't. But we checked it out a lot before we started coming up here to hang out and we always come over to this corner. We know it's safe." Quinn answered. "Not that I'm not enjoying talking to you, but can we take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night and I know you didn't either."

"Sure." Rachel said. "I love you."

"You, too." Quinn answered and Rachel felt a pang going through her heart when Quinn didn't say 'I love you too.'


	27. Chapter 27

Quinn woke up when her daughter kicked. Hard. Hard enough that it hurt. Usually it just felt weird. She opened her eyes and realized that Rachel's head was pressed to her chest; their stomach's pressed into each others, legs intertwined. Quinn laid there for a moment, loving the feeling. Quinn could seriously have laid like this for the rest of her life with Rachel in her arms, her brain fogging up at the vanilla scent her girlfriend always smelled like, no matter how sweaty she was.

Quinn slowly pulled her arm from around the sleeping brunette so she could look at her watch. 3:45.

"Rachel, sweetie, we have to go to Glee." Quinn dipped her head a little and whispered in the sleeping beauty's ear.

"I'm awake, you don't have to whisper." Rachel looked up at her and smiled.

"How long have you been awake?" Quinn asked, fighting the urge to kiss her. She knew it would hurt like hell with her face so bruised up.

"Since the baby kicked." Rachel answered. Quinn thought her girlfriend might be hallucinating or pregnant or dreaming.

"Um, Rachel, is there something you need to tell me?" Quinn arched her eyebrow.

"Shut up," Rachel laughed. "I felt our daughter kick a few minutes ago. Our stomachs are pressed together, so I felt her through you."

"Oh, right, that makes way more sense and makes me have less of a heart attack." Quinn smiled.

"She must have kicked pretty hard. Did it hurt?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, it did. She is getting really strong." Quinn told her.

"Does it always hurt?" Rachel asked.

"Not usually, usually it just feeling like she is dancing, but everyone in a while, it feels like she is playing soccer." Quinn answered.

"Oh, I've never felt her before."

"Yeah, usually she is kicking my organs, but I will let you know when she is kicking the outside again so you can feel her." Quinn smiled and leaned down to kiss Rachel. Pain seared through her face but she ignored it. The kiss was completely worth it. After a few seconds though, she had to pull away. "Ow." She said. Her bruises were throbbing now that she had stretched her cheeks by moving her mouth around.

"Are you ok?" Rachel sat up quickly looking into Quinn's eyes.

"Yeah, it just hurts to kiss you. That is hands down the worst part about what happened." Quinn smiled.

"Right," Rachel said sadly.

"Rachel, it's not your fault." Quinn tried to reassure the smaller girl. She knew Rachel was beating herself up about what had happened.

"Yes it is."

"Rachel, sweetheart, look at me." Rachel looked up. "Now listen to me. It was not your fault. Was it my fault that you ended up in the hospital on New Years?"

"No"

"Exactly. We both ended up hurt by something we made each other to do, but it doesn't make any of it each other's fault. I made you cut yourself and you made me go talk to my dad. But I know that it's not my fault that you cut and it's not your fault my dad hit me. Do you understand me?" Rachel nodded and Quinn pulled her into the tightest hug she could, wincing through the pain in her side. "We need to go to Glee."

"Are you sure you want to go? Your makeup is almost all gone now, the bruises are very noticeable." Rachel ran her fingers lightly along Quinn's jawbone.

"Yeah, they deserve to know anyway. They are family." Quinn said noticing Rachel flinch at her statement. The boys still didn't know about Rachel almost dying at New Years.

"Right. Ok well if you are sure, let's go." Rachel held out her hand and Quinn took it, loving the feeling on the girl's tiny hand in her own. They climbed back down the ladder and through the locker room. They passed a mirror and Quinn winced at the sight of her battered face. It hurt like hell, but it looked much much worse.

They made it to the choir room, but they were late. They could hear everyone talking inside. Quinn froze just outside the door. She couldn't move. She was scared of facing everyone. She knew they were going to judge her.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"Will you go in first? And tell them what I look like? And maybe what happened? I just don't think I can." Quinn could feel her hands starting to shake.

"Of course, baby." Rachel leaned in a kissed Quinn's lips very lightly before releasing her hand and walking into the room.

"Where's Q?" Quinn heard Santana ask immediately.

"Um, Mr. Schue, is it ok if I talk to the club for a moment?" Rachel asked.

"Of course Rachel, you have the floor."

"Thanks. Ok guys, Quinn is out in the hallway. She asked me to fill you guys in before she comes in here. Quinn was beaten up last night. Her face and side are pretty bruised, her knuckles are busted up, her eye is black and she has a pretty nasty cut." Rachel said and everyone was silent.

"It wasn't me."Santana said and Quinn guessed that the club looked over at her.

"You're face is cut up and your hand is all bruised. How do we know you didn't go all Buffy on her and beat her up." Puck said.

"Yeah that is totally something you would do." Kurt said.

"Cuz she is my best friend, dumbasses." Santana growled.

"Santana, language."

"Guys stop." Rachel interjected. "Look, her dad is a really bad guy and when she told him that she was pregnant and in love with me, he slapped her around and threw his glass at her and Santana."

"Yeah it was pretty bad. One of the times he hit her; she fell and couldn't feel the baby for a few minutes. She was terrified." Santana added.

"When she got back to my house, well our house now, she punched the mirror." Rachel continued.

"Wait, she did what?" Santana yelled. Quinn flinched and the next thing she knew, Santana was standing in her face. She heard the choir room break out in voices.

"Give me your hand, Q." Santana demanded. Quinn gave it to her and watched as Santana examined it. "Fuck Quinn." Santana said and she pulled Quinn into a hug. "Are you ok?" She asked when she released her.

"No," Quinn said, tears filling her eyes, "I mean yes. I mean, I don't know. I'm glad I have Rachel though. I don't know what I would do without her."

"She's a good person." Santana said. "Are you ready to go in?" Quinn just nodded. Santana linked their arms and walked Quinn into the room. The entire room went silent. Santana led Quinn over to Rachel, released her arm and went and sat back down with Brittany. Quinn felt Rachel's arm snake around her waist and Quinn leaned into her.

Quinn hated that everyone's eyes were on her. She just wanted someone to say something.

"Please say something," Quinn begged.

"I'm going to kill him," Puck said and he was up heading to the door, "Finn, Matt, Mike, Kurt, let's go. Artie, you too, you can roll over his toes and punch him in that place that is unfortunately at your eye level."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and pleaded with her eyes. Rachel stood up and marched over to Puck grabbing his arm "Noah, don't." She said and Puck twisted her around so his hand was holding her wrist. Quinn saw Puck's eyes flicker down to her wrist and Quinn realized what was about to happen a split second before it actually did.

"What the fuck did you do?" Puck yelled, releasing Rachel, looking at her like she had the plague.

"I, uh." Rachel stumbled around her words.

"Did you do that? Is that why you were in the hospital? What is wrong with you?" Puck kept yelling, backing away. "You're crazy. Why would you do that? I don't want you around my daughter if you are that insane."

Quinn saw the broken look in Rachel's eyes and watched as the first tear fell. Santana was up and in Puck's face in a split second.

"Do not call her crazy." She growled as Mercedes jumped up to hold her back.

"Santana stop." Mercedes yelled. "Brittany!"

Brittany got up and walked over to her girlfriend and stroked her face, "S, honey, you need to calm down, I love you."

"No, that's not going to work, he's an ass. He does not get to be mad at her for this." Santana said, trying to fight off Mercedes and now Tina who were holding her back.

"Please, baby, stop. I promise I'll make it worth your while if you do." Brittany smiled and Quinn saw Santana melt but only for a second.

"No, B, No, he does not get to call her crazy. She isn't crazy." Santana said still fighting off the girls, glaring daggers into Puck. Rachel was standing off to the side a little, crying, but watching the scene unfold. Mr. Schue had apparently decided that the kids needed to work this out because he was just watching the fight. Quinn got up and walked over to Rachel, pulling into her arms. She pressed her head into Quinn's chest and cried, but kept her head turned to keep watching Santana and Puck.

"She is crazy, who the hell cuts themselves and ends up in the fucking hospital. I'll tell you, a crazy person!" Puck said. "I do not want her around my daughter. What if my daughter ends up crazy too because her 'other mother' is cutting herself." Puck used air quotes when he said other mother and that sent Quinn over the edge.

"Motherfucker!" Quinn yelled as she launched herself at him. She felt Matt's hands grab her before her damaged hand could connect with Puck's stupid face. "She is my daughter. Do you understand me? Mine. Mine and Rachel's. You are the dad and that's great for you and I know you will protect her with your life, but she will be living with me and Rachel. She is just as much Rachel's as she is ours."

"Really? Cuz I don't remember her providing any sperm. I don't remember her there that night as I fucked you until you came around me."

"Big mistake," Matt said as he released Quinn's arms.

"Fuck you." She said as she ran at him and shoved him until he hit the ground. She punched him in the chest as hard as she could with her already damaged hand.

"Ok, that's enough." Mr. Schue finally yelled. "Matt, Mike, get her off of him. Santana stop fighting against Mercedes and Tina and all of you sit down now."

Quinn kept punching Puck until she felt four arms grab her and literally lift her off the ground. "Let go of me," Quinn growled. She shook of Matt and Mike and took her seat in between Santana and Rachel. Her hands were shaking as Rachel took her left and Santana took her right. The Latina started to exam it while Rachel just squeezed the one she had.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't have done that," Rachel whispered in her ear.

"Alright guys, I don't know what has gotten into all of you but Regional's are on Saturday. Do you understand that? In a couple days you will be up on that stage singing your hearts out. If you guys don't place, then Glee club is over. Right now you need to work together as a team, not tear each other apart as individuals."

"But, Mr. Schue." Quinn started.

"No, Quinn, No. I understand that you love Rachel and what Puck said was immature, but he is the father of your kid and you need to learn to get along with him, especially with this subject since Rachel is going to be in your life. As far as your dad goes, if you need someone to talk to, my door is always open. Santana I don't know what your deal is but clearly you care about Rachel too, but that is no reason to add more bruises to your already busted up hand from punching out Karofsky. Guys, I appreciate you wanted to go over and hurt Russell Fabray, but you can't. Rachel as far as the cutting goes, I will tell you the same thing I told Quinn, my door is always open. Now I understand that you all have some serious stuff going on and I sympathize with that. I really do. But you guys are family to me as well as each other. You need to pull together right now at least until Saturday. Do you understand me?" Mr. Schue finished.

Everyone in the room grumbled quietly and nodded.

"Good, now let's rehearse. I will meet you guys in the auditorium in 5 minutes. Do not fight on the way down there." He warned and everyone got up to leave. Puck glaring at Quinn and Rachel while Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Matt and Mike all glared back at him. Finn just looked confused mostly.

They started walking down the hall and Santana, Brittany, Quinn and Rachel hung back a little bit.

"Are you ok, Q? Does your hand hurt?" Santana asked.

"Yes, but it will be ok."

"You shouldn't have done that, Quinn." Rachel said as they slowly made their way down to the auditorium.

"He shouldn't have said the stuff he said. You know I don't think any of that right?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I know, it just hurt a little." Rachel said. "Thanks for defending me, Santana."

"Of course, besides, he was making fun of me too, even though he didn't know it." Santana said wrapping her hands around Brittany's waist. Quinn saw the other blonde pull away a little. "Baby, what's wrong." Santana asked.

"You wouldn't stop for me. You wouldn't listen to me. Even when I promised you sexy times. You've never not listened to me before." Brittany said as she kept walking. She wouldn't look Santana in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, B, I just didn't think what Puck said was ok. I really wanted to give into you, but I couldn't. I really really want to have sexy times with you after rehearsal though. Can you forgive me?" Santana stopped to get Brittany to look at her. "Please?"

Quinn couldn't help but smile at the bad ass Latina begging Brittany.

"Ok," Brittany smiled and leaned in to kiss Santana.

"So we are all ok?" Rachel asked. The other 3 nodded. "Ok good, because we need to go rehearse if we are going to beat Vocal Adrenaline."

"I'm glad you're back to being Rachel." Quinn smiled as she leaned over to kiss Rachel.

"I love you, Quinn." Rachel said as she pulled away disconnecting their lips.

"You too." Quinn said back and they walked into the auditorium doors.

"Ok guys, we are going to run through the performance completely, so everyone get in your places. First 'Faithfully,' then 'Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin,' and then we will finish with 'Don't Stop Believing.' Got it?" Mr. Schue asked. Everyone nodded and walked to take their places.

"Good luck. Think of me." Quinn said as she separated from Rachel.

"Always." Rachel walked to take her place with Finn while Quinn left to take her place behind the curtain with the other 9 members. It made Quinn's skin crawl to think of Rachel singing that song to Finn. It should have been Quinn she was singing too but Mr. Schue figured the judges wouldn't approve of two girls singing to each other so Quinn had reluctantly allowed Finn to do it instead.

"Alright, guys, from the top." Mr. Schue said and they being rehearsing. Quinn threw everything she had into it. She tried to push away the pain in her body, the words Puck had said, the look on Rachel's face, the fact that Rachel had ever cut at all, how she felt when she thought her daughter was gone and how much she hated her father. She forgot all of that and forced herself to dance and sing and try to love what she was doing.


	28. Chapter 28

Finally they were finished rehearsing. Mr. Schue had insisted on going over the chorography for the 2 faster songs at least 5 times each. Rachel walked over to Quinn and took her into her arms. They started walking to Rachel's car.

"Did you know you're crazy hot when you're all sweaty?" Quinn asked.

"We aren't playing this dirty game right now Quinn." Rachel said and Quinn pouted as best she could.

"Why not?" Quinn asked.

"Because we won't be able to stop if we start and you are too badly hurt right now for it to be any fun." Rachel said and it killed her to deny the girl anything.

"That's not true." Quinn said as she got into the passenger seat.

"Yes it is. You know that if we start talking dirty and suggestively that we won't be able to resist being all over each other which will lead to massive pain for you. So no. I promise when you heal a little we can go back to making out all the time and I promise even more that in a little over a week, we can make love for hours. Ok?" Rachel said as she pulled out of the parking lot and drove towards their house.

"Fine. You suck." Quinn said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh please, you so aren't mad. You're such a dork." Rachel said laughing.

"Yeah yeah yeah. So are you ok after everything that happened today?" Quinn asked, their conversation turning serious.

"I should be asking you that. Oh and by the way, you cannot under any circumstances ever do anything that could hurt the baby again. You could have hurt her by tackling Puck like that." Rachel said as she pulled into the driveway.

"I know. I was just so mad I wasn't thinking." Quinn said getting out of the car and walking into the house.

"I know and I get that. I love you for defending me but you cannot do that again." Rachel said as the girls sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV before turning it down so they could talk.

"Yes I was defending you but he shouldn't have said what he said about me coming around him. That was disgusting and completely unnecessary." Quinn said tracing her fingers up and down Rachel's arm.

"Not that I'm defending him but it's not like it was information we didn't all already know." Rachel said.

"I can't believe you think it was ok." Quinn said her voice raising a little.

"Honey, I don't think it was ok, but it's Puck. What do you expect?" Rachel said trying to calm her back down.

"I expected him to not say that stuff about you and the cutting." Quinn said.

"Yeah, that hurt. I can't believe he doesn't want me around my Baby Kiwi." Rachel felt a pang in her heart. "I mean him calling me crazy and everything I get, I mean I don't get it, but it makes a little sense but the fact that he thinks it's not safe for me to be around her hurt."

"It doesn't matter what he thinks. She is mine and you are mine and together we will be a family." Quinn snapped.

"Yeah but he is the dad. Quinn as much as you want to push him away, he is that little girl's biological dad. You can't stop him from being in her life." Rachel tried.

"Sure I can." Quinn said

"No, Quinn you can't. That's not fair to him or her." Rachel said standing up. She needed to pace.

"I don't really care what's fair to him. He's an ass." Quinn said.

"Quinn, he is not an ass. He is just Puck." Rachel said walking back and forth.

"Yeah and I don't want him around her." Quinn snapped.

"He deserves to be a dad." Rachel snapped back.

"Why are you defending him? After everything he said to you today." Quinn asked standing up to face Rachel. The brunette had no choice but to stop pacing.

"Because he doesn't understand cutting. He doesn't get why I did it. That's not his fault. He is just ignorant and I will talk to him about it later." Rachel tried to explain. Quinn's hands were on hips now.

"How can you just forgive him for being an ass to you? How can you just not hate him? He made you cry today. Why the hell are you defending him? What are you sleeping with him or something?" Quinn asked, her HBIC look on her face.

"You know I'm not sleeping with him. Don't even go there. I forgave you didn't I? You were a bitch to me for years. I don't hate you do I? You made me cry and cut myself on many occasions and I forgave you. Hi, do you remember New Years?" Rachel snapped.

Quinn looked like she had been slapped. "I-I-I," Quinn stammered. She turned to walk out of the room.

Everything Rachel had said suddenly clicked into her brain. "Oh, shit, Quinn I'm so sorry. You know I love you. That was the old you. I'm so sorry." Rachel ran after her.

"No, Rachel, not now. I am a bitch. I'm a horrible person. I'm going to make an awful mother. I just can't deal with this." Quinn grabbed her keys off the hook and walked out the door.

"Quinn stop please. I'm sorry." Rachel followed her out the door.

"Look Rachel, it's just been a bad couple days and I just don't want to deal with anything right now. Including us. I'm sorry." Quinn got into her car and drove off before Rachel could stop her.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Rachel said as she went back into the house.

She paced around the living room fighting the urge to cut her wrist. She was hating herself for what she said to Quinn. She couldn't believe she tore the broken girl down. She hadn't meant to. She was still hurt by what Puck had said even though she had tried to get Quinn to forgive him. She still felt guilty for Quinn getting beaten up. To top everything off, Quinn still wouldn't tell her she loved her. It was all piling up on Rachel's shoulders and she couldn't handle it. She wanted that release. She needed that release. She didn't give a rat's ass that she was going to feel guilty about it later. She needed it.

Before she could think about it anymore she ran upstairs and walked into her bathroom. She grabbed the broken glass that had yet to be cleaned up and she drug it across her wrist, loving the feeling that she had missed so much. Every image of everything that was wrong in her life flashed in front of her eyes.

Her brain suddenly grasped what she had done and she dropped the bloodstained glass on the floor. She grabbed a towel and pressed down hard enough to stop the blood that was pouring out of her arm. Well not pouring exactly but it was definitely coming out pretty quickly. Rachel's mind started racing, running through all the things that were going to happen now that she had given in again.

Hiding her wrist. Check.

Lying to her girlfriend and friends. Check.

Daily trips to the shrink. Check.

"Damn." Rachel said out loud. At least she had rescheduled sleeping with Quinn. There was no way to get away with anything once she was naked. She needed to find Quinn. She needed to make sure Quinn was ok. Rachel doctored her cut, pulling out her old medical supplies and her old pink watch. She put the watch on and walked out her front door to go find Quinn. She decided to try Santana's first knowing that that would be Quinn's first thought.

She pulled into Santana's driveway but she didn't see Quinn's car. She decided to go inside anyway to see if the Latina had heard from the blonde. She knocked on the door and waited a few seconds before Santana answered it. She was in her bra and panties.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Berry?" She asked looking rather pissed off. She turned and started to walk away going to pick up her black robe off the couch. She put it on and turned to face Rachel.

"Nice scar." Rachel said referring to Santana's scar on her thigh.

"Shut it. What are you doing here?" Santana asked again.

"Looking for Quinn. Where's Brittany? I thought you guys were going to have sexy times." Rachel asked using air quotes when she said 'sexy times.'

"She had to go home and talk to her mom. She is supposed to be here any minute." Santana said rolling her eyes.

"Don't you girls ever give it a rest?" Rachel asked.

"My girlfriend is hot, amazing in bed and there is no chance of either of us getting pregnant. Why would I not sleep with her all the time? Why are you wearing that pink watch again, Rachel? What did you do?" Santana walked over to Rachel but Rachel pulled her arm away so the Latina couldn't get a hold of it.

"Nothing. Have you heard from Quinn?" Rachel asked slowly walking towards the front door. She knew going over to Santana's right after she cut was a bad plan.

"No, are you guys fighting?" Santana asked.

"Sort of, I don't know. Do you know where she might be?"

"I would try the park, then maybe some baby stores. If she isn't at any of those places, I don't know where she would be. Give me your arm, Berry." Santana said returning to using Rachel's last name.

"I'm fine, Lopez." Rachel said reaching the front door.

"Rachel Barbara Berry." Santana said her voice raised.

"How do you know my middle name?" Rachel asked.

"Lucky guess. Give me your arm now." Santana said moving towards the other brunette.

"No." Rachel said.

"Rachel."

"Santana." Rachel snapped back. She knew Santana wouldn't hurt her now that she had become part of the Latina's inner circle.

"Rachel, give me your arm, now." Santana said finally reaching Rachel's side. She grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled it out in front of her. She was just about to take off Rachel's watch when the doorbell rang.

"Oh thank God." Rachel said opening the door. "Brittany!"

"This isn't over, Berry. I'm not playing." Santana said as she pulled Brittany into the house.

"Whatever, Santana. I'll call you if I can't find her." Rachel said and she walked out the front door. She heard Brittany ask who Rachel was talking about before she reached her car. She drove to the park first. No sign of her. She went to every store she could think of. No Quinn. She was beginning to freak out. She had lost her pregnant girlfriend who had been beaten up by her dad the night before. This was not good. She called Santana but the phone just rang and rang. Rachel knew the other girls were having fun and Rachel wasn't about to interrupt that. She decided to go back home, praying the blonde was there.

She pulled up to her house and Quinn's car was nowhere to be seen. She walked inside and up to her bathroom. She figured she could clean until Quinn decided to come home. She walked through the door and noticed that the piece of bloodstained glass was no longer on the floor where she left it.

"Quinn must've been here," Rachel thought, her entire body tensing.

She called everyone in Glee club to see if anyone had heard from her. No one had. She made a mental note to buy the girl a new cell phone so this would never happen again.

She tried to call Santana again and this time, she answered.

"Did you find her?"

"No." Rachel answered. "I don't know where she would be."

"Come over and we will brainstorm. Brittany has to go home anyway. Besides, we need to talk." Santana said. Rachel knew there was no question in any of what the Latina had just said so she got in her car and drove back to Santana's house. She was sitting on Santana's bed 10 minutes later.

"I don't know where she would be." Rachel said. "I shouldn't have said the things I said."

"You can't beat yourself up for it." Santana said. "Or cut yourself over it. Give me your arm, Rachel."

Rachel knew she wouldn't be able to fight off the other girl much longer so she just gave in and held out her arm. Santana took the watch off.

"Rachel, why did you do this? You were doing so well." Santana said as she examined the cut. It wasn't shallow but it wasn't deep. It was going to scar though.

"I don't want to talk." Rachel said pulling her arm away.

"Yeah, don't care. Talk. Now." Santana said but her phone started ringing. "Hello? Oh hey B. She's there? Ok keep her there tonight. I have Rachel here. We will reunite them in the morning. Ok. I love you too. Goodnight, sweetie."

"Quinn's ok?" Rachel asked feeling her heart soar that her girlfriend was ok.

"Yeah, she is with Brittany. Which means she is ok and we are going to talk now." Santana said and Rachel could feel herself getting annoyed.

"No." Rachel said.

"Alright, look Rachel. I'm frustrated that you did it, but you know I don't judge you." Santana laid back on her bed. "Come here." She motioned for Rachel to lay down with her. Rachel hesitated for a second before she laid into Santana's arms, her head on the Latina's chest. Santana started running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"You did wash your hands after you had sex with Brittany earlier, right? Rachel asked.

"Shut up. Please talk to me." Santana said. Rachel could feel herself breaking down. "Sweetie, please talk to me."

"Quinn got beat up and it's my fault. Puck doesn't want me around his daughter because I'm too screwed up. I said all that awful stuff to Quinn earlier. Even with therapy I still hate myself." Rachel said, still crying into Santana's top.

"Ok, Berry listen to me. It is not your fault that Quinn got beat up. Ok? It isn't. Puck will get over his ignorance and you will get to be around your daughter. Don't worry about that. You and Quinn will make up. You love each other too much. You need to stop hating yourself because you are an amazing person. Ok? Please please believe me." Santana said still running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

Rachel nodded. "I can't believe I did it again."

"We all relapse ok? It happens. You cannot beat yourself up over it." Santana tried.

"Have you?" Rachel asked knowing she was pushing her luck.

"Relapsed?" Santana asked.

"Yeah."

"Yes I have." Santana admitted.

"When?" Rachel asked.

"A couple weeks ago." Santana's voice got quieter.

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"I was frustrated. The point is that you can't beat yourself up over relapsing. Ok? You need to talk to your therapist and tell her what happened."

Rachel nodded again. She knew not to push Santana.

"Look it's been a long day. Why don't you get some sleep?" Santana said starting to move Rachel so she could get up.

"Please stay." Rachel said gripping Santana's shirt a little. "You're not Quinn but you are warm and I feel bad. Please."

"Ok, I'll stay. Do you mind if I turn the TV on, since it's still pretty early." Santana asked as she wrapped her arms back around the other brunette.

"That's fine. Thanks, Santana." Rachel said as she buried herself into Santana's arms.

"Anytime, goodnight, sweetie." Santana said as she turned on a random episode of the Kardashians.

Rachel could feel herself falling asleep within minutes. She hadn't realized how tired she was until Santana had suggested sleep. Her wrist was stinging and all she could picture was the hurt look on Quinn's face when they fought. She knew she was going to have nightmares, but she allowed herself to fall asleep anyway.


	29. Chapter 29

"Quinn stop please. I'm sorry." Rachel followed her out the door.

"Look Rachel, it's just been a bad couple days and I just don't want to deal with anything right now. Including us. I'm sorry." Quinn got into her car and drove off before Rachel could stop her.

Quinn knew exactly where she was heading and she also knew Rachel wouldn't think to go there. She pulled up to the house and stormed up to the front door. She slammed her left fist against it until the door was opened.

"You son of a bitch." Quinn yelled as she pounded the chest in front of her.

"What the fuck, Quinn. Stop." Puck said as he grabbed her wrists.

"Why are you such an idiot?" Quinn said as she squirmed until Puck let her go.

"I don't know." Puck said as he walked back into his house, Quinn following him. "I'm sorry about what I said about us having sex. I didn't mean it. Really. I was just mad."

"No, you don't get to be mad. I'm mad at you." Quinn said, her anger boiling. "Seriously, Puck, why would you say all that stuff to Rachel? She isn't crazy and you know it."

"I know." Puck said.

"Then why did you say the stuff you did to her?" Quinn said sitting down on his couch. The baby was kicking and she needed to sit down. "You really hurt her. Hurt me. Why?"

"Because she is my daughter too and you never ask my opinion or what I want. Everything is about you and Rachel. I was just shocked about seeing Rachel's wrists all scarred up like that. I never thought she would be the kind of person to do that. I don't like thinking about her hurting herself like that. I was upset about what your dad did to you, our daughter and Santana. It just all came out as anger towards Rachel, since she is the one who tried to stop me." Puck said as he sat down in the arm chair across the room from Quinn.

"You need to apologize to her. You do not get to judge her for what she has done in the past. Ever. She is my girlfriend. She is the woman I love more than life itself. She will be in my life and our daughter's life forever. I'm sorry I haven't asked your opinion before. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. Are you ok with keeping her?" Quinn asked knowing she should have asked this question a long time ago.

"Yes, that's what I have wanted all along." Puck said.

"Good. And Rachel?" Quinn asked.

"I like Rachel. It just scares me to put our daughter into a position where she might have to deal with one of her mom's cutting herself. It's not a situation I want my daughter put in." Puck said.

"Rachel is doing really well. She hasn't cut herself since New Years. I honestly don't think she is going to be doing it anytime soon or possibly ever again. I don't think it's fair for you to think that she is going to be a bad mom because of some issues she has had in the past. She hasn't ever once judged you for being a manwhore. You need to apologize to her." Quinn said willing her daughter to stop kicking her kidneys.

"I will." Puck said.

"Good. The 3 of us are raising our daughter together. Do not ever make fun of Rachel for the cutting again. Understand me?" Quinn asked. Puck nodded. "Ok so how involved do you want to be in the baby's life?" Quinn had never thought to talk to Puck about any of this before.

"I would like to be there when she is born. I think for the first few months she should stay with you but I would like to come see her every couple days. Once she gets a little older I would like to start taking her every other weekend. I know my mom would really like a chance to get to know her too." Puck finished.

The thought of having to let Puck take her daughter away from her for a couple days killed her but she knew it was fair. "Ok, that's fair. Any ideas for names?"

"I really like the name Elizabeth, Beth for short." Puck answered.

Quinn thought about this for a moment. "You know her last name is going to be Fabray right?" Puck nodded. "Ok. I will think about it. Apologize to Rachel tomorrow at school or I will not allow you to see your daughter. Understand me?" Quinn asked.

"Yes. Can you believe tomorrow is finally Friday? Doesn't it feel like this has been the longest week ever?" Puck asked.

"Yeah it really does." Quinn answered thinking back to everything that had happened over the past couple days. "I'm sorry I hit you."

"Yeah it didn't hurt. You're like half my size." Puck responded.

"Right. I need to go. Rachel and I got in a fight and I need to go talk to her." Quinn stood up and walked towards the door.

"You two fight too much." Puck said.

"Yeah well this one was your fault. I'll see you tomorrow. Apologize." Quinn said as she walked out the door.

"I will. Thanks for talking to me instead of just hating me." Puck said.

"I'm not going to do it again. Do not mess up again, Noah." Quinn said and with that she got into her car and drove back to the Berry's. Rachel's car was gone and she knew her girlfriend was out looking for her. She walked upstairs to start cleaning up the broken glass that had yet to be cleaned up since Quinn smashed her hand through the mirror. She saw a few drops of blood and it took her a second to realize that the blood wasn't dried. Her eyes travelled down to a bloodstained piece of broken mirror on the ground. She knew that it wasn't her blood and her mind began to race.

"She did it again. She cut herself again. Didn't she promise me she wasn't going to do it again? I can't believe this." Quinn thought as she walked back down the stairs and back out to her car. She drove over to Brittany's figuring that Rachel would think to go to one of the Cheerio's houses. Brittany's sister answered the door.

"Hey, Q."

"Hey are Brittany and Santana here?" Quinn asked.

"Brittany is but Santana's not." Katie answered as she walked back over to the couch.

"Wait, they aren't together? Are they ok?" Quinn asked actually shocked.

"I think they are fine. Brittany just got home from Santana's I think. She's in her room though." Katie answered.

"That's, K." Quinn said. She knew that the younger girl loved being called by just her first initial. It always made Katie feel like she was a part of their group. Quinn walked upstairs and into Brittany's room. She didn't even bother knocking since she knew the Latina wasn't in there with her.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" Brittany immediately asked. It was eerie how perceptive the girl was sometimes.

"Brittany how do you know something is wrong?" Quinn asked as she sat down on the other blonde's bed.

"Because I have known you our whole lives. I can always tell when something is up with you or Santana. Even Rachel now but she isn't as easy to read." Brittany answered. She was sitting back up against her headboard painting her nails. "Can I paint your toenails?"

"Sure, B." Quinn took off her socks and shoes and put her feet in Brittany's lap. "Britt, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Are you still afraid of horses? Since your accident?" Quinn had always wondered this but the two of them were rarely ever alone.

"Yes," Brittany answered quietly. "Santana said she is going to go with me one day so I can get over my fears. I'm scared though. I don't want to fall again."

"I don't think Santana will ever let you fall again. She loves you too much." Quinn said.

Quinn knew how much it killed Santana that she hadn't been able to stop Brittany from falling off that horse when they were in 7th grade. The horse had been spooked and bucked Brittany off. Quinn and Santana had jumped off their horses as fast as they could, but Brittany had hit her head pretty hard. The head trauma had messed with her memory so it made it harder for her to learn and retain information. Dance steps were about the only thing she could remember without even trying. She even had trouble remembering the song lyrics in Glee but Quinn knew she wasn't supposed to know that information.

"I love her too." Brittany said snapping Quinn back to the present. Brittany was on to painting her second foot now.

"Speaking of Santana, where is she?" Quinn asked absentmindedly running her fingers up and down her stomach.

"She is at home. We had sexy times for a while but I wanted to come home. I was tired." Brittany answered.

"Britt, was Rachel there when you left?" Quinn asked.

"No, she was there when I got there, she and Santana were arguing but then she left." Brittany answered finishing Quinn's last toe.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" Quinn asked.

"Nope." Brittany said getting off the bed to put away the nail polish.

"Will you call her for me and tell her I'm here, that way she can relay the message to Rachel." Quinn asked. She may have been mad at her girlfriend and upset with her for cutting, but she didn't want Rachel worrying.

"Sure." Brittany hopped back onto the bed and grabbed her phone. She dialed Santana's number and waited a second. "Hey, it's me. Quinn's here. Yeah. She wants you to tell Rachel. Oh, she's there? Sounds good. I'll tell Quinn. I love you. Goodnight, baby."

"Rachel's with her?" Quinn asked feeling relieved.

"Yeah, I guess. She wants me to keep you here for the night. She said we will reunite you two in the morning." Brittany said.

"Ok," Quinn said not really having the energy to argue. She looked over at Brittany and saw her fidgeting. "B, what's up?"

"Were you ever in love with Santana?" Brittany asked. She had arranged herself cross-legged in front of Quinn. Quinn sat up and mirrored her position so that the girl's knees were touching.

"Brittany where is this coming from?" Quinn asked.

"I've just always wondered. I mean you guys are so close and have all these secrets. You two always send the two of me out of the room when you need to talk, like you think I can't handle anything. You guys used to have sexy times and you did it again on New Years and I just wanted to make sure that you don't love her anymore. I don't want to lose her to you. You're so much prettier and smarter than me." Brittany finished, her blue eyes not coming in contact with Quinn's hazel ones.

"Brittany, honey, look at me." Brittany looked up. "I love Santana," Brittany looked down again. Quinn used her finger to guide Brittany's head up again. "I love Santana as my best friend. She is like my sister. She is the one person I can talk to about anything. We really don't mean to keep secrets from you. We just don't want you having to deal with anything that you shouldn't have to. I have no interest in ever having sex with Santana again. I love Rachel more than anything. Santana loves you more than anything. She seriously loves you with all of her heart. You never need to worry about how much that girl loves you. There is no one prettier or smarter to Santana than you. Ok?" Quinn tried to make Brittany understand.

"Ok, but can you guys please not keep secrets from me anymore?" Brittany asked.

"Of course." Quinn said and she pulled Brittany into a hug. "You know we both love you." Brittany nodded and pulled away.

"Q, why aren't you telling Rachel that you love her?" Brittany asked.

"What are you talking about? I tell Rachel I love her all the time." Quinn asked wondering why the taller blonde thought this.

"Today in the hallway, when we were walking to the auditorium. Rachel said she loved you and you said 'you too.' You didn't actually say 'I love you too.'"

Quinn quickly replayed the conversation in her mind and she realized Brittany was right. Quinn wondered how long she had been doing that.

"I didn't even realize I did that. That's weird. I do love her." Quinn said trying to convince herself more than Brittany.

"Are you afraid that you will lose her?" Brittany asked.

"What?" Quinn asked back.

"Well you used to tell her all the time. I figure that it has something to do with you thinking you lost the baby. Are you afraid if you tell her how much you love her, you will lose her too?" Brittany asked again.

"I don't know, maybe. When did you get to be so smart?" Quinn asked, smiling.

"I've always been smart. Besides, I told you that I know you really well." Brittany said smiling back.

"Right." Quinn said. It was silent for a moment before Quinn spoke again. "She did it again." Brittany just looked at her. "Rachel." Quinn said to clarify.

"The cutting?" Brittany asked, laying back into the pillows.

"Yeah. We got into a fight and I left. When I came back she was gone. She left a bloodstained piece of glass on the bathroom floor. I can't believe she cut again. She was doing so well. I was so proud of her." Quinn said.

"You are still proud of her. People mess up all the time, Q. Be proud that she was able to go 3 months without doing it. Next time, it will be longer." Brittany said and Quinn laid down to snuggle up with her. She missed Rachel's body but she wanted the warmth of lying next to someone.

"I guess. It just scares me." Quinn said.

"I know and you need to tell her that. It doesn't matter what she said to you or what you two are fighting about, forgive her and talk to her. She is more important than some stupid words that you guys said. Now go to sleep, I'm tired."

"Brittany, we should really hang out more. Just the two of us. You are much smarter than I give you credit for." Quinn said smiling.

"Yes I am. Now shhh, sleep." Brittany said.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh as she snuggled closer. She hadn't realized how tired she was. Her body had been through a lot the past couple days. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Rachel in pain. It killed her. She knew she was going to have nightmares, but she allowed herself to go to sleep anyway.


	30. Chapter 30

Rachel woke up in Quinn's arms. Something was wrong though. She didn't smell like Quinn. She smelled too spicy. She smelled like Santana. Rachel opened her eyes and slowly remembered where she was. She wasn't at home with Quinn. She was with Santana. She and Quinn had gotten into a fight. Rachel had cut herself.

"Damn." Rachel said.

"What time is it?" Santana asked sounds quite pissed off.

"Uhh." Rachel looked at her pink watch. "6:30. I have to go home. I need to change for school." Rachel said, her brain still feeling a little foggy.

"You can use Quinn or Britt's stuff. You aren't going home." Santana said, sitting up and adjusting her tank top.

"Santana, I need to go home and change. All of you are too tall. Nothing will fit. I'm a big girl. I can go home for a little while." Rachel said as she walked towards the door.

"Fine but I will pick you up in an hour." Santana said looking pissed.

"I can drive myself to school." Rachel snapped.

"Oh, I'm sorry I made it seem like you had an option, hun. You don't." Santana smirked.

"Please don't call me hun. It makes you sound like that Paige Michalchuk girl from that show Degrassi." Rachel said back.

"1 hour, Rachel. I'm not kidding." Santana said. Rachel smirked back and walked out of the house and drove to her own. Quinn's car wasn't there. She had been hoping that the blonde would come home and change as well but Rachel guessed she was just going to wear something of Brittany's.

Rachel showered and got dressed and walked back outside to wait for Santana. Rachel was nervous now. She didn't want to face Quinn. She knew they were going to fight and she knew that Rachel was in for a nice long lecture since she figured that Quinn knew about the cutting. Santana finally got there and drove them to school.

"Let's go. Time for you to reunite with your lover." Santana said, getting out of the car and walking towards the school.

"She isn't my lover. She is my girlfriend. And wait up, your legs are longer than mine." Rachel followed after Santana.

"Not my fault. Learn to walk faster." Santana snapped.

"Seriously why are you in such a bad mood?" Rachel asked.

"Because I slept in a bed with you last night instead of Brittany." Santana said.

Rachel smiled. "I'm sorry I wasn't a good replacement."

"Yeah well you were fine. I just miss my girlfriend. Now let's go find them." Santana walked through the halls straight to Brittany's locker. Rachel was a little behind her trying to keep up. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Quinn. Santana walked up and immediately attached her lips to Brittany's. "I missed you." She said between kisses.

"Hey Rachel." Quinn said stepping closer to her.

"Hey Quinn." Rachel wasn't sure what to say but she made sure to hide her wrist.

"We need to talk." Quinn said.

Rachel nodded. She just couldn't form words.

"Auditorium?" Quinn asked.

Rachel just nodded again and let Quinn lead the way. Even though Rachel knew that Quinn knew about the cut, she couldn't help hiding it under her binder. She knew the second Quinn saw her pink watch; she was going to be in so much trouble. They walked through the doors and made their way up onto the stage and sat on the floor, dead center, a couple of feet between them.

Rachel wasn't sure what to say. Quinn just kept looking at her. There wasn't a single sound in the room.

"Rachel you are going to have to talk to me." Quinn said finally breaking the silence.

"I'm afraid to." Rachel answered.

"Sweetie, you are my girlfriend. Why are you afraid to talk to me?"

"I was so mean to you." Rachel said picking at some old tape on the floor.

"Yes, you were." Quinn said and Rachel felt the tears begin to form in her eyes. "You really hurt me"

"I know." Rachel said looking up to meet Quinn's eyes.

"Rachel, baby, please don't cry. Come here." Rachel felt herself move closer to Quinn without even thinking about it. Quinn wrapper her arms around the brunette and Rachel felt herself melt into Quinn.

"I'm sorry, Quinn, I'm really sorry." Rachel cried into Quinn's shoulder.

"I'm really sorry too, Rach." Quinn said pulling away from Rachel to look into her eyes.

"I guess all the stuff with Puck upset me more than I realized. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I really didn't mean anything I said. You know I don't blame you for the New Years stuff or the way you used to treat me or anything. I love you so much." Rachel told Quinn trying to calm herself down.

"I love you too, Rachel." Quinn said running her fingers along Rachel's jaw line.

"You said you loved me." Rachel said. She had really missed hearing those words.

"I know and I do. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I had stopped saying it. Brittany mentioned it to me last night." Quinn said, now running her fingers up and down Rachel's right thigh.

"Why did you?" Rachel asked, trying really hard to not focus on Quinn's roaming fingers.

"I honestly don't know. Brittany thinks it's because I thought I lost the baby and that I'm too scared of losing you." Quinn said, her fingers getting higher and higher.

"That makes sense." Rachel said. "Quinn you have to stop that." Rachel said grabbing Quinn's wandering hand and lacing their fingers instead.

"Can I kiss you instead?" Quinn asked.

"No, it will hurt you. Your face still looks pretty bad. Speaking of, we have to take a picture of all your bruises when we get home, just in case." Rachel said as Quinn started leaning closer to her.

"Whatever. I'm going to kiss you." Quinn said smiling.

"It will hurt you." Rachel said not really believing her words. Quinn had licked her lips and all thoughts had pretty much left her head.

"Don't care." Quinn whispered right before their lips connected. It was soft and sweet. Rachel felt like she could do this for hours. Rachel tangled her fingers in Quinn's hair before running her tongue along Quinn's lips begging for entrance. Quinn wouldn't allow it though and she pulled away.

"You know we have to talk about this right?" Quinn said grabbing Rachel's arm and flipping it over before removing the watch.

Rachel felt her entire body tense and she thought about running away. She felt Quinn carefully run her fingers over the cut.

"I don't want to talk." Rachel said pulling her arm away. She stood up quickly and began walking away.

"Rachel, stop." Quinn said and Rachel knew she was struggling a little to get up as quickly and chase after her. "I'm not mad, just talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about this. You are just going to judge me." Rachel yelled over her shoulder as she continued to walk away. She walked through the hallways, realizing for the first time that she was missing class.

"Rachel, sweetie, please stop." Quinn said still chasing after Rachel.

Rachel felt her heart melt a little when Quinn called her sweetie and she felt herself slowing down a little outside the dance studio. She turned to face Quinn. "I don't want to talk about this. I did it, I'm bad, end of story."

"Let's go." Quinn said as she grabbed Rachel's arm and led her the rest of the way down the hallway and walked right into the dance studio. No one was ever there until after school. She walked to the back of the room and pushed Rachel against one of the mirrors.

"I'm pretty sure I never judged you for the cutting. I have never once been mad at you. I have never once thought you were a bad person. I have done nothing but support you or hold your hand in the hospital or tell you that I love you. I'm not happy you did it, but I'm not mad at you. It hurts me to think about you in that kind of pain. All I want to do is protect you and be with you for the rest of my life. For that to work though, you have got to talk to me, sweetie." Quinn finished and Rachel felt her entire 'tough exterior' melt away at Quinn's words. All she wanted to do was be with the blonde in front of her.

"I don't know what to say." Rachel said quietly, releasing herself from Quinn's grip and walking across the studio.

"Just talk to me. Tell me what happened, besides the obvious." Quinn said, walking over to Rachel and taking both her hands.

Rachel looked deep into Quinn's eyes and saw nothing but love, so Rachel talked.

"Everything just started flashing in front of my eyes. Fighting with you, Puck saying I was crazy, wondering if I was a good enough person to be a mom and thinking I would never be good enough." Rachel admitted.

"Good enough for what?" Quinn asked.

"You." Rachel said suddenly finding Quinn's shoes very interesting.

"You," Quinn said, brushing the hair out of Rachel's eyes and pushing her chin back up, "Are you best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't wait to be a mom with you, because you are going to be such an amazing mom. You are the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life. We are going to fight, but I know we will always make up because I honestly don't think I can live without you."

"Really?" Rachel asked, still not completely sure.

"Really. Sweetie, you have got to stop cutting though." Quinn said.

"It's hard." Rachel admitted.

"I know, baby, but you need to stop. I understand that everyone relapses. I'm proud of you for making it this long and next time, I know you will go longer because you are strong and I will always be here to help you pick up the pieces." Quinn said, now running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"That feels good." Rachel mumbled. Quinn's fingers in her hair was about to drive her insane.

"Good. Are you going to talk to your therapist about this?" Quinn asked.

"About you running your fingers through my hair? Well if you really want me to." Rachel joked, cracking a smile.

Quinn lightly hit her, smiling back, "No, dork, about the cutting."

"Yeah, Santana already said I have to anyway." Rachel said, missing Quinn's fingers already.

"I figured she would have gotten to you already. She is a little scary sometimes, isn't she?" Quinn asked

"Yeah she is, but she is a really good person." Rachel said smiling thinking about everything the Latina had done for her. Rachel reached out and laced her fingers with Quinn's. "I really missed sleeping with you last night. Santana just isn't a good replacement."

"I really missed you too. Can we please not fight again?" Quinn asked.

"No more." Rachel answered, her eyes lingering on Quinn's lips. "Can I?"

"I would hurt you if you didn't." Quinn said before closing the distance between them. They kissed until Quinn couldn't stand the pain anymore and pulled away. "I'm sorry, but it hurts."

"It's ok. At least we could kiss for a little bit." Rachel smiled. "So I'm thinking we should just hideaway in here until we have Glee after school."

"Rachel Berry willing skipping school? I'm shocked!" Quinn faked surprise and Rachel just started laughing.

"Well we could always split up and go to our respective classes or we can stay here and cuddle and talk until we have to go sing."

"I absolutely choose the second option." Quinn smiled and turned around and walked over to one of the mirrors and sat down against it. Rachel followed and laid down, her head resting in Quinn's lap. "Why are you laying on my lap?" Quinn laughed.

"Because I want to talk to you and my daughter. I want her to know my voice." Rachel answered, running her fingers up and down Quinn's stomach.

"Your daughter? First she was my daughter, then she was ours and now she is yours? Oh and don't worry, you are loud, she knows your voice." Quinn joked.

"Shut up." Rachel laughed. "She is your daughter, she is my Kiwi."

"You are such a dork. Why am I with you again?" Quinn asked trying to control her laughter.

"Because you love me." Rachel answered grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah, I really do." Quinn said grabbing one of Rachel's hands and kissing the back of it.

"Ok no more lovey dovey stuff. Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked.

"Anything, always." Quinn answered now running her fingers up and down Rachel's arm.

"Can you please explain the whole you, Santana and Brittany thing?" Rachel asked.

"What thing?" Quinn asked clearly confused.

"Well you and Santana as friends I get, but how on earth did Brittany end up in the mix? And seriously what made you guys so bitchy? Oh and please explain to me how you became president of the Celibacy Club." Rachel asked.

"Do you want the long version or the short version?" Quinn asked.

"The long one." Rachel said snuggling into Quinn's legs to get more comfortable.

"Well Santana and I have known each other our entire lives. Our mom's are friends and have been since before we were born. There are pictures of me and Santana in our diapers together; that's how long we have been friends. We grew up in piano and gymnastics and just about every other activity together. Brittany got added to the mix in first grade when her family moved here. She got picked on for the first couple days and then Santana decided she needed to be friends with us."

"I remember that now that you mention it." Rachel said thinking back to first grade.

"Yeah well we all became inseparable after that. Everything thing we did was the 3 of us." Quinn continued. "Once Brittany got hurt, everything changed."

"What happened to Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"You don't know? Wow, I forget sometimes that we used to not be friends. Well my dad used to have this friend who had hundreds of acres and horses and cows and all that. The 3 of us used to ride horses out there like every weekend, starting when we were in 3rd grade. We used to ride for hours on end. There were all these trails and pastures out there. We each had a horse at the stables and our parents would just drop us off and we would ride. It was so much fun. One day we were riding and we had been out for about an hour so we were pretty far away from the stables. B's horse got spooked and bucked her off. She hit her head pretty badly. S and I jumped off our horses but Brittany was already unconscious. Santana flipped out and screamed at me to ride back to the stables to call 911. So I got help and Brittany was taken to the hospital." Quinn paused.

"Wow." Rachel said before Quinn continued.

"Yeah. She was in the hospital for 3 days. She kept drifting in and out of consciousness but she couldn't remember any of us. It took a few days but she finally got her long term memory back, but her short term memory is still really messed up."

"That explains a lot." Rachel said suddenly understand Brittany.

"Yep. The doctor said she probably wouldn't ever be able to learn the same way again. He suggested she take up dance once she was well enough."

"Why dance?" Rachel asked.

"He thought it might help with her memory since she would have to learn and remember so many steps. However his plan kind of backfired."

"What do you mean? Britt's one of the greatest dancers I have ever seen." Rachel asked.

"Exactly. It was like she born to do it. Her body just knows how to dance; she doesn't have to remember the steps so it never did anything for her memory. She started dancing all the time. You know how elite gymnasts are at the gym before and after school for hours on end and some of them are even homeschooled? Yeah that was pretty much Brittany. She was at the dance studio every single day from the time school was out until she had to go home to go to bed. She was a little obsessive about it, but it was the only thing that made her happy anymore. She went from being smart to everyone thinking she was really dumb. It drove Santana nuts. She has always been a bitch, but once people started making fun of Brittany, it's like she snapped. She couldn't handle anyone messing with B."

"So if Santana was so clearly in love with Brittany, how did you guys end up together?" Rachel asked extremely curious now although she wasn't so sure she wanted to hear about Santana and Quinn together.

"I'm getting there. So Santana and I started spending more and more time together just us since Brittany was always so busy dancing. It became one of those things that was just so easy for us to be together. So once we started high school, Brittany wanted to try out for cheerleading, but she was scared that people would make fun of her, so she asked us to try out with her. Santana thought it would be a genius idea so we could rule the school. Yeah I know. Shocking. We made it obviously and it just became so easy to be a bitch. Not too long after we became Cheerios, Santana and I ended up in bed together. It just made so much sense at the time. We had been best friends our entire lives and it just sort of happened. Then it happened a lot more."

"Uh huh." Rachel said, not enjoying these mental images.

"I love you not her. Anyways, Santana decided we needed to start a Celibacy club because we had been raised with such Christian values, she was afraid of what would happen, plus since our reputations were so important to us, we didn't want to fall from the top if everyone found out with were having sex with each other."

"Gross." Rachel said.

"Anyways, we started the club and I started dating Finn so no one would figure it out. Of course I screwed everything up by cheating on him with Puck and ending up with your little Kiwi in there." Quinn said running her fingers along her belly. Right on cue, the baby kicked. Rachel felt her and grinned.

"So we kept sleeping together for a few months and then Santana realized that she was head over heels in love with Brittany. So we stopped having sex and she told Brittany how she felt and well the rest is history." Quinn finished and Rachel smiled understanding the girls so much better now.

"I'm glad I finally get why Brittany is the way she is." Rachel said.

"Yeah she still has serious memory issues, but people just take it as her being dumb. Sometimes she forgets her middle name or she thinks her cat is reading her diary because she forgets where she puts it. A few times she has forgotten how much of her antibiotics she has taken, so she takes more. That really messes with her head and then she can't remember how to do much. She has trouble learning the Glee songs and Santana spends extra time with her teaching her the words. She is able to retain information if she is taught the same things over and over again. She never asks anyone questions though. She just waits until she can ask either me or Santana. Or you now that she trusts you." Quinn said playing with Rachel's hair. Rachel was still lazily running her fingers across Quinn's stomach hoping their daughter would kick again.

"Wow. Does Brittany ever get frustrated or hate herself?" Rachel was especially curious about the last part since the brunette hated herself so much.

"She gets frustrated sometimes, but it's rare. She is just such a happy person and as long as she can dance, she loves her life." Quinn answered simply.

"Yeah that makes sense. I can't believe she has only been dancing for like 3 years. She is amazing. I have been dancing my whole life and I'm not where near as good as her." Rachel said with a tad bit of jealousy.

"Yeah well it's what she was born to do, just like you, my dear were born to sing. That's hands down my favorite sound in the world. I could listen to you sing for the rest of my life." Quinn said locking eyes with Rachel.

"Good, because I plan to keep singing for the rest of our lives." Rachel's back was beginning to hurt from sitting on the hard floor so she sat up and leaned against the mirror as well., lacing he fingers with Quinn's. "So I think we need to figure out what we are going to tell people about the baby."

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked.

"Well what do we tell people when we are out with her? That we are 16 year old lesbians who are both moms to the little girl?" Rachel asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Well that was pretty much my plan." Quinn said arching hers back.

"That's what I want to do too, but we live in Lima, Ohio. It may not be as bad as say Texas, but we are still going to get a lot of shit thrown our way. I know we can take it, but can she? I grew up dealing with it because of my dad's. I don't want that for her."

"Well it's not like we are going to live here forever. We are going to move to New York in a couple years and raise her there. They are more open-minded."

"We are moving to New York? When did we decide this?" Rachel asked.

"The day you decided you wanted to be on Broadway and the day we got together." Quinn smiled.

"Alright, it still makes me nervous but ok." Rachel conceded.

"I'm sorry about how much you were tortured, especially the slushies." Quinn said.

"It's ok. I mean I hated it, but it's ok." Rachel said.

"It's not ok, it was my fault and I'm sorry." Quinn said.

"How was it your fault?" Rachel asked looking Quinn directly in the eyes.

"I was kind of the one who figured out how badly slushies stain and how much they sucked to have thrown in your face." Quinn said looking guilty.

"It was you? I got tortured for years and spent thousands of dollars on clothes because you thought it would be fun to throw slushies? Seriously?" Rachel said.

"I'm really sorry." Quinn said, tears beginning to fill her eyes.

"Baby, I was just kidding, it's fine. I was just messing with you." Rachel said laughing as she wiped away Quinn's tears.

"Really?" Quinn asked.

"Really." Rachel said meaning her words.

"Good." Quinn said, smiling back. They were quiet for a moment each lost in their thoughts.

"I can't believe Regional's are tomorrow." Quinn said.

"Me either. It should be fun though. Win or lose. I'm excited." Rachel answered.

"Yeah me too." Quinn said as her stomach growled. "Baby's hungry. Can we go get lunch now?"

"Yeah, let's go. Should we go to class afterwards or come back here?" Rachel asked.

"I personally think that we should come back here." Quinn said standing up and taking Rachel's hand.

"Me too." Rachel smiled and walked hand in hand to the cafeteria with the girl she loved.


	31. Chapter 31

Quinn was absolutely starving by the time they reached the cafeteria. The child in her stomach seemed to be kicking out of anger at not having been fed yet. Quinn kept willing her to chill out.

"Are you ok?" Rachel asked.

"Your daughter is angry at me because she hasn't been fed yet. She is kicking the crap out of my organs." Quinn answered, wincing at little as the baby kicked her hard in the kidneys.

"Oh so she is my daughter now that she is upset?" Rachel laughed.

"Yep, pretty much." Quinn answered. They grabbed food and walked over to where Santana and Brittany usually sat. Santana was the only one sitting at the table though.

"Whatever, I plan to spoil her and make you the bad guy." Rachel said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Quinn answered laughing. "Hey S."

"So you 2 made up?" Santana asked.

"No, S, we are still fighting." Quinn rolled her eyes at the obviously stupid question. "Yes we made up. Thanks for helping us out last night."

"Anytime." Santana answered.

"Where's Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"Bathroom." Santana answered and at that moment the taller blonde walked up.

"I'm not in the bathroom anymore." Brittany said. Rachel walked over and engulfed her into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you, Brittany." Rachel said when she let go.

"I love you too!" Brittany said with a giant smile on her face.

"Hey, leave my girl alone." Santana snarled.

"Sorry, Santana." Rachel apologized, sitting next to Quinn.

"Why are you loving my girlfriend?" Santana asked, eyes piercing into Rachel.

"Don't kill her, S. I just told her all about Brittany's accident and everything. She didn't know any of it before." Quinn said, taking a bite of her salad.

"Oh, ok." Santana said going back to her food. Brittany just ate her lunch in silence.

"You ok, B?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm ok with the accident. Without it, I never would have started dancing." Brittany smiled.

"Good." Quinn said. "But you know if you ever need to talk, the 3 of us are here for you."

"Yep and that's why I love you guys so much." Brittany grinned.

"Alright new subject." Santana snapped.

"Ooh touchy Santana today. You don't want to talk about your feelings?" Quinn smirked.

"Shut it, Q. So what are you guys up to tonight?" Santana asked.

"A lot of talking, I'm guessing." Rachel answered. Quinn had no idea what she was talking about.

"Why will there be a lot of talking?" Quinn asked her girlfriend.

"Because you haven't seen my dad's since you moved in and got all those bruises on your face." Rachel said.

Quinn felt her entire body tense at the idea of having to relive everything to Rachel's dads and she didn't even want to think about the rules that were about to be placed on her and Rachel.

"Right, that." Quinn was quiet for a moment while she picked at the food she was no longer hungry enough to eat. "Um, I have to run to my locker before class, so I will see you guys later."

Quinn stood up and walked away. Just as she expected, Rachel followed her all the way to her locker, calling after her.

"What, Rach?" Quinn asked as she turned to face Rachel.

"What's wrong? I thought we were going to go back to the dance studio and talk some more." Rachel said looking hurt and Quinn's heart broke.

"I just think we need to go to class. We shouldn't skip anymore than we already have." Quinn answered shortly.

"Quinn talk to me." Rachel said.

"I think we will be talking enough tonight." Quinn answered.

"Oh that's what this is about. Baby, don't be scared. It will all be ok." Rachel pulled Quinn into a hug and Quinn breathed in the smell of the woman she loved, feeling herself relax.

"I just really don't want to talk." Quinn said pulling away. "I don't want to have to relive it all. I don't want your dads to put all these restrictions on us now that we live together. I just don't want to deal." Quinn said looking into the deep chocolate eyes that were Rachel's.

"I know, but the sooner we talk to them, the sooner everything is official and the sooner we can start decorating the nursery and the sooner next Saturday comes and we can be together." Rachel smiled seductively and Quinn couldn't help laughing.

"You suck, you know that?" Quinn smiled at Rachel.

"Yeah well." Rachel grinned back. "Are you sure you want to go to class? I'm most certain we won't be missed. Besides our current grade point averages show that we have a little bit of room to skip a class or 2.

"I think we should go to class. I really just need some time to think everything out." Quinn said, letting herself hope that Rachel would try to fight her one it.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk it out with me? Maybe talking out what you are feeling, will help you feel better. Sitting there going over and over everything in your head probably isn't going to help much." Rachel said, taking Quinn's hands and squeezing them.

Quinn really wanted to go sit and talk with Rachel, but she knew she needed some time to think. Alone. "I love you so much, but I need to think." Rachel's face fell. "Sweetie, I promise we are ok. We are completely good. I promise we can talk just us, after we talk to your dads."

"Ok, if you are sure. I'll see you after school then. I love you." Rachel said before leaning in and quickly, but softly kissing Quinn. The blonde felt a slight pang of pain but it quickly went away as Rachel pulled back.

"I love you too. See ya." Quinn said, turning her back and walking to class. She was stopped by Puck right outside the door.

"Did you make up with Rachel?" Puck asked.

"Yes." Quinn answered. "Have you apologized to her yet?"

"Not yet. I will the next time I see her though."

"You had better." Quinn threatened.

"I will, baby mama. Chill out." Puck laughed.

"It's not funny, Puck. You really hurt her." Quinn glared.

"I know and I will apologize, I promise. You have got to learn to trust me." Puck said.

"Yeah your promises don't really mean a whole lot to me. As for trusting you, do you really want to open that can of worms? As I recall you said 'I have protection, trust me.' Puck, I'd like you to meet your daughter." Quinn pointed to her stomach and smirked.

"I have told you I'm sorry about that. I really will apologize to Rachel though." Puck said.

"It's fine, really. I'm ok with her now. And yes, you will." Quinn finished.

"How's your face? Does it still hurt really badly?" Puck asked, catching Quinn off guard.

"Um, not as much. I mean it's getting better, slowly I guess. I can barely kiss my girlfriend though. That's the worse part. Also having everyone state at me hasn't been too much fun. Not to mention that it was my own father who did it to me. That hurts on a whole different level." Quinn answered.

"Can I kill him?" Puck asked.

"No, Noah, you can't," Quinn said using his real name, trying to get him to understand.

"What are you going to do about it?" Puck asked.

"I really don't know. Rachel and I are going to talk to her dad's tonight. I'm actually planning to go to class to think about everything, so I will talk to you later, Puck." Quinn started to move away but Puck stopped her.

"Quinn, it will be ok." Puck smiled.

"I know, thanks, Puck. Bye." Quinn walked into her classroom without looking back.

Quinn spent the rest of the day completely over-analyzing everything that had happened over the past week. She honestly had no idea what was said in her class, but she got a lot of thinking done which she found to be much more important. The time went by faster than she would have liked and before she knew it, she was walking into the house behind Rachel.

"Food, now." Rachel barked.

"Excuse me? I know you did not just tell me what to do." Quinn barked back.

"You didn't eat much at lunch and I know the baby is hungry. Now go eat." Rachel said.

"I'm not hungry and she is sleeping. I don't need food." Quinn answered.

"Yeah I wasn't really giving you an option." Rachel smirked.

"You have been hanging around Santana too long. I will be putting a stop to that." Quinn smiled.

"Will you now?" Rachel kept smirking.

"Yes I will." Quinn smiled before leaning down to kiss Rachel. She pulled away once the pain became too intense.

"Please eat something, even if it's just a sandwich." Rachel begged.

"Will you make it for me?" Quinn asked.

"Of course." Rachel smiled.

Quinn laughed, "You, my dear are so whipped."

"Shut up." Rachel said as she walked into the kitchen to fix Quinn's sandwich.

"So so so whipped" Quinn said when Rachel handed her the sandwich.

Rachel lightly hit her on the shoulder, "Yeah well when it comes to you, I'm completely fine with being whipped. I would walk through fire if you asked me to."

"Very very good answer." Quinn smiled as she felt her heart swell. She couldn't believe she had gotten so lucky.

They sat in comfortable silence as Quinn ate her sandwich. She didn't realize how tired she was until she got up to take the plate to the sink.

"Hey do you care if I go take a nap until Hirum and LeRoy get home? I'm really tired." Quinn said.

"No it's completely fine. Do you want some company?" Rachel asked.

"No, I'm just going to sleep. Thank you though." Quinn smiled and heading up the stairs to Rachel's bedroom. Well her bedroom now too. She laid down on the bed, using Rachel's pillow instead of her own. She breathed in the scent of her girlfriend and immediately fell asleep.

She dreamt the same thing she always did; her daughter growing up with her and Rachel. She woke up a couple hours later and felt Rachel wrapped around her. She shifted to look at Rachel and saw that the other girl wasn't asleep, but watching her.

"Must you be such a creeper?" Quinn asked.

"You look like an angel when you sleep. Did you know that?" Rachel asked.

"Are your dad's home?" Quinn asked.

"I'm not sure. They should be, but I have been up here for a while." Rachel stood up and held her hand out for Quinn. The blonde took it and allowed Rachel to lead her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Quinn felt her stomach in knots. Hirum and LeRoy hadn't seen her since she had been kicked out. They walked into the kitchen, Quinn trying to hide behind Rachel, which was next to impossible since her girlfriend was so tiny.

"Dad, Daddy?" Rachel asked and both men turned around from the counters they were preparing dinner on.

"Hey girls." Hirum said before he took in Quinn's bruises. "Oh Quinn," He rushed over and pulled her into a hug. A few moments later, Quinn felt a second set of arms wrap around her and she dissolved into tears. She barely registered being released from the men's arms and placed into Rachel's smaller ones. She could hear Hirum, LeRoy and Rachel talking about her, but she couldn't understand the words. When Rachel said her dad's name, she pulled away so she could focus on what was being said. Rachel led her over to a chair and sat down before pulling Quinn to sit on her lap. Quinn felt a little weird about sitting on Rachel in front of her dads but she didn't care enough to move. She wanted to feel Rachel's arms around her while they all had this conversation.

"Are you ready?" Rachel whispered.

Quinn just nodded. Hirum and LeRoy must have taken that as their cue because that's when the questions started.

"Quinn, honey, what do you want to do about your dad?" LeRoy asked.

"Nothing." Quinn couldn't make eye contact.

"You don't want to press charges?" Hirum asked.

"No. I just want it to all go away. I don't want to make a big deal out of it." Quinn answered.

"It is a big deal, honey." Quinn heard Rachel's voice behind her.

"It's really not. I know it's bad, but it's over and done with. My daughter is safe and that's all that matters to me." Quinn said.

"He shouldn't be able to get away with this, Quinn." LeRoy said, sounding angry but his voice never rising.

"I know. I don't plan to forgive him. Ever. I don't want to have to go to court or anything like that either. I want to get on with my life. I want to have my daughter and raise her and be happy." Quinn tried to reason with them.

"Ok, we can respect that, but we are going to take pictures of your bruises just in case we ever need them. You never know what can happen in the future." Hirum said and Quinn knew she would lose that battle so she just nodded.

"Ok you two, time for ground rules." LeRoy started. Quinn stood up and sat down in the chair next to Rachel's. She knew that she wasn't going to help their case by sitting on top of her girlfriend. "Now, we have discussed this and we are going to allow the 2 of you to share a room, only because we are going to need the spare room for a nursery."

"You really don't have to do that. I can share a room with the baby. I know it can't be comfortable for you to know that your daughter is sharing a bed with her girlfriend. I know we were doing it before, but it's different now since we live together."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest, but Hirum spoke before she could get the words out. "Quinn, it really is ok. We aren't ignorant enough to think that you guys aren't doing anything. Besides, that little girl is going to need her own room in about a year anyway, so we might as well just save us all the trouble and let you 2 share a room now."

"We haven't, I mean we aren't, um." Quinn tried to find the words to tell the men that they hadn't been having sex.

"Doesn't matter, you will eventually. While thinking about our daughter losing her innocence is not our favorite topic, we trust you and more importantly Rachel trusts you." Hirum finished. Quinn looked over to Rachel and saw that her cheeks were bright red.

"Can we please stop talking about my virginity?" Rachel asked.

"Right. Either way, we have talked about it a lot and we are both ok with you girls sharing a room. From now on Quinn, you are our daughter as well. This means you are family and you will be doing chores and such around the house. It also means we get to spoil you and that baby for Hanukkah. We will also be buying you a phone and putting you on our plan. Rachel mentioned that yours was cut off." LeRoy smiled.

"Ok. Thank you guys so much for letting me stay here." Quinn said.

"It's not a problem, sweetie. We can go shopping for nursery stuff this weekend. Maybe on Sunday since you guys have Regional's tomorrow? We really need to get the room ready in case she comes early. When was the last time you went in for an ultrasound?" Hirum asked.

"A couple weeks ago. Dr. Halliwell said that she is doing well. She is healthy and happy." Quinn answered smiling.

"Good. Alright I think that is all settled now. We need to take pictures and then we can eat dinner." LeRoy walked out of the room and returned a few seconds later with the camera. He took a few pictures of Quinn's bruises before handing the camera to Rachel.

"Please go take a picture of the bruise on her side. We will call you when dinner is ready." LeRoy said.

The girls walked upstairs to Rachel's bedroom and Quinn took off her shirt and allowed Rachel took take a couple pictures of the dark bruise on her side. Quinn was putting her shirt back on when Rachel's phone rang.

"It's Santana." Rachel informed her. Quinn didn't think anything of it as she walked into the bathroom to wash off her dried tears.

"Ok, thanks Santana. I'll tell her. Bye," Quinn heard Rachel say and then Rachel was at her side.

"Tell me what?" Quinn asked.

"Um, Santana just called from the hospital. Puck broke his hand." Rachel said.

"How? What on earth did he break it on?" Quinn asked, thinking about how dumb that boy could be sometime.

"Don't get mad, but um he broke it on your dad's face."


	32. Chapter 32

"Rachel Barbara Barry, this is not a funny joke." Quinn asked.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, I'm not joking." Rachel answered before Quinn exploded.

"What the fuck was he thinking? Why does he have to be such a dumbass. I specifically asked him to not do anything." Quinn stormed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She started throwing around the clothes she had left on the floor.

"Quinn what are you doing?" Rachel asked, a little frightened.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm looking for my fucking purse." Quinn grabbed a shirt off the ground and found her purse beneath it. "Aha!" She turned and walked out of the room without saying another word to Rachel.

"Quinn stop," Rachel chased after Quinn. "You need to calm down."

Quinn spun around at the top of the stairs, "What I need is to go kick Puck's ass. Are you coming?"

Rachel sighed. "Yes, but you need to calm down, the stress is really bad for the baby."

Rachel watched Quinn take a few deep breaths before speaking again. "Better?" Rachel nodded. "Ok good, now let's go. Where are they at?"

"The hospital" Rachel answered. "Santana said Puck didn't want us there."

"Oh now he is requesting things? Is he a moron? We are going. You can drive." Quinn walked down the stairs.

"Where are you girls going?" Hiram asked as Rachel made it to the bottom stair.

"Well apparently the idiot who impregnated me decided to punch the shit out of my father and has broken his hand. So I'm going to go kick his ass." Quinn said, a look of determination covering her usually angelic face.

"Language, Quinn." Hiram scolded. "Rachel, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No, but I also know not to mess with Quinn, so we are going." Rachel answered feeling defeated.

"Good, let's go." Quinn stormed out to the car, Rachel on her heels.

Rachel didn't say a word the entire car ride, she just listened to Quinn rant about "the stupid-pool-cleaning-non-protection-wearing-mohawked-trust-me-being-mean-to-her-girlfriend-moron." As soon as the car was put in park, Quinn tore out of the car not even bothering to wait for Rachel.

"Quinn you have got to slow down." Rachel chased after the pregnant girl.

The blonde marched right up to the reception desk in the emergency room, Rachel wasn't too far behind.

"Hi, I'm looking for Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez or Brittany-"

"Quinn, Rachel." Quinn was cut off by a voice behind them. Rachel turned to see Brittany sitting in one of the chairs, reading a magazine.

"Brittany, where are they?" Quinn asked sternly.

"They are in the back. The nice nurse took them back."

"How's Noah's hand?" Rachel asked.

"Who?" Brittany asked.

"Puck, honey, how's Puck's hand?" Rachel asked again.

"Oh, right. Gross. It's all busted up." Brittany answered making a face.

"How do I get back there?" Quinn asked.

"You can't. They would only let S back with him."

"That's bullshit." Quinn ranted.

"Quinn you need to sit down. Please calm down." Rachel led Quinn over to a chair before walking back up to the receptionist to see if she could get some answers.

"Hi, my name is Rachel Berry, my friend Noah Puckerman was brought in here with a broken hand. Is it possible for you to update me on what is going on with him?" Rachel asked.

"I'm sorry but I only do paperwork, you will have to ask one of the nurses when they come out." The receptionist said and Rachel walked over to the door that led back to the patient rooms. She planned to stand there until she saw a nurse come out. She had been there for less than a minute when a familiar name caught her ears.

"Russell Fabray."

"And what is your injury?" The receptionist asked.

"I think my nose is broken." Russell answered.

"Ok well have a seat and they will call you as soon as they can."

"Shit," Rachel muttered under her breathe before practically running across the room to Quinn, whose back was to her.

"You parents are here." Rachel said.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I do not need this right now. What the hell is wrong with everyone tonight." Quinn went to stand up and Rachel saw her waver a little before sitting back down.

"Are you ok?" Rachel asked taking the chair next to her.

"Dizzy." Quinn answered. "Call Santana.

"Quinn you need to calm down. The baby can't handle the stress. Do you understand me?" Rachel said and Quinn nodded. "Good." Rachel dialed Santana's number. The Latina didn't answer. Rachel looked up at Quinn and saw the older Fabrays walking to sit down. They caught Rachel's eye and recognition flashed across their faces. "Damn." Rachel said as they started to make their way over to the girls.

Quinn turned around and stood up when she realized what was about to happen. "What do you want." She asked as soon as they were close enough.

"Quinnie, are you ok?" Judy asked.

"Do not call me that." Quinn snapped.

"You're face. It's all bruised up. Are you ok?" Judy asked. Rachel felt the blood in her body boil. Russell just stood there with a smirk on his face.

"I'm fine." Quinn answered almost silently.

"Why are you here? Is everything ok with the baby?" Judy continued to try and pry.

"She's fine." Quinn answered coldly.

Rachel couldn't stand the look on Russell's face any longer and she exploded.

"What the hell is your problem. Why the fuck are you even talking to her. You kicked her out. Remember?" Rachel yelled. Judy jumped slightly but Russell continued to just smirk.

"Rachel, calm down." Quinn said but Rachel just ignored her.

"You beat the shit out of your daughter and now you have the audacity to ask her how she is doing? Are you fucking insane? Like seriously? You people need to be commited." Rachel continued to rant.

"Rachel!" Quinn pleaded, but Rachel didn't hear her.

"You are the worst parents in the entire world. You are such a bitch to possibly the most amazing woman on the face of the planet just because she made a mistake. People make mistakes every day." Rachel finished.

"Like you?" Russell snapped. "Did you're precious girlfriend tell you that we only kicked her out because she was a fag and dating you." Russell said the word 'you' with disgrace.

"You fucking bastard. What did I ever fucking do to you? Why the hell does it matter who your daughter dates? Shouldn't you love her unconditionally?" Rachel wanted so bad to hit him in his smug face.

"Rachel please be quiet. People are staring." Quinn tried again, but Rachel still didn't hear anything.

"What about your other daughter? Does she hate you too? Did she taint your precious family name?" Rachel asked.

"No, she did as she was told. She didn't embarrass us by getting pregnant or fucking a girl. Quinn is a slut and doesn't deserve to be loved by us. She doesn't know how to be a good daughter." Russell said.

"She is not a slut." Rachel said, fighting off every urge she had to kill the man in front of her. "She is amazing and if you would stop trying to be perfect for one minute, you would see that. But you are too fucking blind or too fucking stupid to love her. You just need to shut the fuck up and go to hell." Rachel yelled.

"Rachel!" Quinn begged again. Rachel felt arms around her trying to pull her back and looked over her shoulder to see Santana.

"Let go of me, Santana." Rachel snapped.

"Oh look, it's the final fag. Santana, Brittany, you and Quinn. What a nice little group you make." Russell smirked and Rachel lunged to punch him, but Santana kept her hold and pulled the smaller girl away.

"Russell, I highly recommend you walk away or I will release her and she and I will beat the shit out of you." Santana said calmly, but her face showed she wasn't messing around.

"I'm not done with him." Rachel yelled, still fighting against the taller girl.

"Ow." Quinn's voice ripped Rachel out of her place of anger. She looked over and saw the blonde clutching her stomach, bent over, holding onto the chair.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" Rachel demanded. Russell and Judy walked off, Judy looked concerned but Russell looked happy.

"I don't know. It hurts. Make it stop." Quinn begged.

"Sit down." Rachel commanded. Santana walked over to the receptionist and a minute later, a man came out with a wheelchair. They started to wheel her back.

"I'm sorry ma'am but you can't come back. Family only." The orderly said.

"She is my girlfriend and that is my daughter. I'm going back." Rachel all but yelled.

"Your daughter?" He asked looking at her like she was stupid.

"Yes. You let Santana go back, why can't I?" Rachel asked.

"She said she was his sister." He answered.

"Well she isn't. Now let me go back." Rachel yelled.

"I'm sorry, I can't." He said and he wheeled her away.

"What the hell just happened?" Rachel said as she walked back over to Santana and Brittany. "They won't let me back. What if something is wrong with her or the baby?" Rachel paced while talking.

"You need to calm down. Call your dads and then sit down. You aren't going to do any good worrying." Santana said, sitting down next to Brittany and intertwining their fingers. Brittany laid her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Right." Rachel called her dads and they said they were on their way.

"How's Puck?" Rachel asked absentmindedly sitting down next to Santana.

"Fine, his hand is broken in a couple places. They are fixing him with a cast and writing him some prescriptions, but he should be out soon. I heard you screaming so I figured I should come check everything out." Santana answered.

The 3 girls watched as Russell and Judy were led back.

"I hate them." Rachel said.

"Yeah, join the club." Santana said back.

"What club? Can I join?" Brittany asked.

"You are already a part of that club, sweetie." Santana said and that seemed to satisfy Brittany.

"What if Quinn isn't ok?" Rachel asked. "It's my fault. I told her to calm down and then I flipped out. What if the baby isn't ok?"

"They will both be ok. Don't worry. Come here." Santana gestured for Rachel to scoot closer and Rachel laid her head on Santana's other shoulder. The Latina laced their fingers together as well and Rachel felt slightly better.

Rachel's dads joined them 10 minutes later and after explaining what was going on, Rachel resumed her position on Santana and they sat like that for the next couple hours. Puck came out during that time, high on painkillers and sat down next to Rachel's dads.

Finally a doctor came out. "Who's here for Quinn Fabray?" He asked. All 6 of them stood up and the doctor walked over to them. "Alright well she was having contractions but we have managed to stop them. Her water did not break so as long as she takes it easy for the next couple months, she should make it to her due date just fine. Her blood pressure skyrocketed and the baby was stressed out. You need to make sure that doesn't happen again. She should be just fine though. She is getting dressed and she will be out in a minute. Which one of you is Rachel?" He asked.

"Me."

"Alright, she is asking for you, so you can follow me back. Have a good evening." He said to the others and he led Rachel through a few hallways before letting her into Quinn's exam room.

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel ran over and pulled her girlfriend into a hug. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a little shaky. I haven't eaten that much today either so that's not helping. I'm sorry I scared you." Quinn said, pulled away slightly so she could look Rachel in the eyes.

"It's ok. I'm sorry for making you that upset. I won't do it again." Rachel said "Come, on, let's go home." Rachel grabbed the blonde's hand and led her back through all the hallways until they reached the waiting room. They were met with 5 tired looking faces.

"I'm sorry guys." Quinn said as she was engulfed in 5 set of arms. Santana pulled away first and let Rachel to the side.

"What's up?" Rachel asked.

"Russell and Judy came out while you were back there. They are pressing charges against Puck. Your dad is on it. Just don't tell Quinn. We need to keep her calm." Santana finished and Rachel just nodded.

Everyone bid goodbye and Rachel drove Quinn home.

"What did Santana say to you?" She asked.

"Nothing much. She just wanted me to take care of you tonight." Rachel lied.

"Liar. Wanna try again?" Quinn asked.

"I'm not lying, Quinn. Everything is fine." Rachel said. "We just need to get you home and in bed. We have Regional's in the morning though I don't think you should participate." Rachel said pulling into the driveway.

"I have to. Without me, you guys can't perform. I'm doing it. I will be fine." Quinn said.

"Quinn you shouldn't." Rachel said helping Quinn to the door. The blonde fought her insisting she was fine.

"I'm doing it and that's that." Quinn said walking up the stairs. Rachel followed and the girls changed into pajamas and climbed into bed. Quinn automatically curled into Rachel, placing her head on the brunette's chest and wrapping her arm around her. "Can we just go to sleep? I'm tired." She asked.

"Yeah, baby, go to sleep." Rachel answered. After a few minutes, she heard Quinn's breathing even out. Rachel stayed awake, unable to turn her brain off long enough to fall asleep. She heard a knock at the door after about 20 minutes.

"Come in." She said and her dad's walked through the door.

"How is she?" Hiram asked.

"Good, I think. She is pretty much dead to the world. She was exhausted. She said she is performing tomorrow. She wouldn't take no for an answer." Rachel answered.

"Well, she is young; I think she will probably be ok. Maybe you guys can figure something out so she isn't dancing so hard." LeRoy said.

"Yeah, maybe." Rachel answered.

"She really scared you didn't she?" Hiram asked.

"Yeah, she terrified me." Rachel said.

"Why didn't you guys sleep here last night?" LeRoy asked.

"We got into a fight. I slept at Santana's, she slept at Brittany's." Rachel answered.

"Everything seems to be ok now?" LeRoy asked.

"Yes, we are ok. I'm just glad her and the baby are doing fine. I don't want to be that scared again." Rachel said.

"Ok, well get some sleep." LeRoy said, leaning over to kiss Rachel's forehead, before leaving over and kissing Quinn's as well.

"Goodnight, sweetheart" Hiram kissed both girl's foreheads as well before walking to the door. "Oh and Rach?"

"Yeah?" She asked.

"We will be discussing why you are wearing that pink watch again after Regional's tomorrow." Hiram said and Rachel felt her heart jump.

"Right." Was all that Rachel was able to say. They closed the door and the room fell dark again. Rachel's mind was full of new thoughts. She tried to push them away, but it took 2 more hours until she was finally able to fall asleep to the sounds of Quinn's breathing. Rachel found it oddly comforting. Nothing else mattered but falling asleep with Quinn, knowing that she was ok.


	33. Chapter 33

Quinn hated Rachel's stupid alarm clock. She wanted to throw it against the wall.

"Rachel, turn that damn thing off." Quinn snapped without opening her eyes. She didn't feel Rachel next to her and she assumed they had drifted apart while sleeping, though that didn't happen very often. The alarm kept going off.

"Rachel!" Quinn yelled. She opened her eyes and didn't see Rachel in the room. Quinn sat up with a scowl on her face and started to reach over to Rachel's side of the bed to turn off the obnoxious clock.

"What is your problem?" Rachel asked as she came out of the bathroom in a towel. She walked over and turned off the alarm.

Quinn felt her breath hitch. Rachel's hair was wet and messy and the towel barely covered her. Her mess of long, tan limbs was enough to drive Quinn insane. "You need clothes."

Rachel just rolled her eyes and went back into the bathroom. "You need to get up and get ready. We need to leave for Regional's in about an hour." Rachel yelled from the bathroom.

Quinn was in a bad mood and she didn't know why, but Rachel telling her what to do, pissed her off. "Whatever." Quinn snapped at Rachel.

"Excuse me? What the hell is wrong with you?" Rachel walked back out in just her jeans and bra.

"I don't know." Quinn answered honestly.

"Well do not take out your frustrations on me. I haven't done anything to you." Rachel said back.

"Sorry." Quinn mumbled.

"How's your face feel?" Rachel asked as she walked closer to the bed.

"Better." Quinn answered before the brunette leaned down, crashing their lips together. Quinn moaned at the contact, reaching her hands around to tangle them into Rachel's hair. Rachel slowly ran her tongue along Quinn's bottom lip and the blonde gladly allowed her in. Their tongues dueled for a few minutes before Rachel pulled away.

"You need to get up and dressed now, Fabray." Rachel smiled.

"Mmmkay." Quinn responded, feeling whatever anger she had melt away.

Quinn laid in bed for a few more minutes before Rachel came back out of the bathroom. "Quinn, get up."

"I'm going, geez." Quinn said as she got out of bed. She quickly took a shower and threw on her jeans and t-shirt. They were doing hair and make-up at the theatre the competition would be held at.

They walked down the stairs and sat down at the kitchen table. The men had cooked breakfast for the girls.

"Bacon." Quinn smiled excitedly.

"Yeah we figured you might like that. We also have eggs and biscuits." Hiram said setting the plate with 5 strips of bacon in front of Quinn while LeRoy put the eggs and biscuits on the table.

"Go on, Quinn, I know you want to." Rachel smiled as Quinn filled her plate with eggs and 2 biscuits to go with her bacon. Rachel continued to stare at her while she took a bite of her bacon.

"What?" Quinn asked. Rachel just laughed at her. "I'm pregnant. Be nice."

"I'm sorry, baby." Rachel laughed as she filled her own plate with eggs and biscuits.

"Are you girls nervous?" LeRoy asked, filling his own plate.

"A little," Rachel answered.

"Quinn? Have you figured out what you are going to do today?" Hiram asked looking concerned.

"Yeah, I'm going to perform, like always." Quinn answered.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked, warning in her tone.

"What? I'm not going to let everyone down because I was stupid enough to get pregnant. No, I'm not doing it. I'm dancing and singing what we have been rehearsing." Quinn finished slightly pissed off.

"But, Quinn-" Rachel started.

"No, Rachel." Quinn snapped. She couldn't deal with this anymore. She stood up and walked out of the kitchen. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, hands across her stomach. After a few minutes she heard Rachel walk in the room.

"Quinn?" She asked tentatively. "Can I sit down?"

"It's your house." Quinn said.

"It's yours too." Rachel said as she sat down on the couch, cross legged so she could face the blonde. "Can we talk?"

"It's what you do." Quinn said back.

"I'm not going to stop you. I don't think you should be dancing but I know I can't stop you."

"Whatever, it's my decision anyway." Quinn said.

"What about me? What about Puck? Don't we get a say?" Rachel asked.

"Why would you? She's mine. She's inside of me. I'm the one who has to make the decisions for her until she comes out." Quinn could see the pain in Rachel's eyes as those words left her mouth. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry."

"Whatever, it's fine." Rachel snapped. "Look, I think it's a bad idea, but do what you want. Are you going to finish your breakfast? If not, then we need to leave."

"I'm done." Quinn answered feeling guilty. Rachel was upset with her now. "I'm sorry really. It's the hormones, I didn't mean it."

"I know. It's fine." Rachel said coldly, standing up from the couch before helping Quinn up.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked. The brunette turned to face her. Quinn leaned down and pressed their lips together for a moment before pulling away. "I love you."

"I love you too. Let's go." Rachel said back. Quinn couldn't gauge her girlfriend's emotions and it frustrated the hell out of her.

Hiram and LeRoy dropped the girls off at the school, where they met up with their teammates. Santana and Brittany immediately gravitated towards their counterparts.

"I know you are not planning to dance today, Q." Santana snapped.

"I am." Quinn answered simply.

"No, you are not." Santana said back, getting in Quinn's face.

"Yes, I really am, Santana." Quinn fought back.

"That's my fucking niece in there. I told you I'm not going to let anything happen to her. Especially since I couldn't protect her with your dad." Santana backed away, sadness covering her dark features.

"Santana, I will be fine and she will be fine, ok? Please don't worry so much." Quinn said pulling Santana into a hug. "Thank you for caring about her though." Quinn whispered into the Latina's ear.

"Fine Quinn but when this blows up in your face, don't blame me." Santana said back before grabbing Brittany's hand and stepping onto the bus.

"Oh she is in a pleasant mood." Rachel smirked as they followed the other brunette and blonde onto the bus.

"Yep, today should be fun." Quinn laughed as she sat down next to Rachel. Santana and Brittany sat behind them.

They bus had barely pulled out of the parking lot before Quinn heard it. She whipped around. "You had better not be having sex on this bus."

"Why not?" Santana asked.

"Because I don't want to listen to it." Quinn said, ignoring the movements of Santana's left hand.

"It's nothing you haven't heard before." Santana smirked.

"Gross." Rachel said.

"Santana get your fingers out of Brittany and stop. You can have sex when we get there. In a private place. Just not on the back of the bus, ok?" Quinn knew she was asking a lot of the Latina but she really wasn't in the mood to hear them have sex.

"Fine," Santana conceded and she sucked her fingers clean. "Happy now?"

"Ew." Quinn said before turning back around.

"You should have minded your own business, Q." Santana said over her shoulder.

"Anyways," Quinn said turning to Rachel. "Are we ok?"

"We're fine, Quinn. What you said just hurt, but its ok. I'm fine. Really."

"I'm really sorry." Quinn said wrapping her arms around Rachel to pull her closer. Thankfully, the brunette allowed it. She melted into the blonde.

"I know." Rachel said.

Quinn looked up in time to see Puck walking down the center aisle of the bus. "Rachel, Puck is coming.

Rachel looked up in time for Puck to reach their row. "Hey Rachel, can we talk?"

"Sure Noah, what's up?" Rachel asked, remaining in Quinn's arms.

"Uhh, look, I'm really sorry about the other day. I didn't mean anything by calling you crazy. I know you're not. I just got jealous that everything about my kid is always you and Quinn. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I really don't think you are crazy. The thought of you doing that scares me and hurts me actually. I just want you to be ok." Puck finished and Rachel stood up and gave him a hug.

"Don't worry, Noah, we are ok. Thank you for apologizing. I know it couldn't have been easy. Quinn and I will try to be better about including you in our conversations about our daughter." Rachel sat back down and leaned back into Quinn.

"Thanks, Rachel. Sorry again." He mumbled before he walked back up to sit back down in his seat.

"That was nice. Well as nice as Noah can get, I believe." Rachel said.

"I guess. I mean, I know he is sorry, he just shouldn't have done it in the first place." Quinn said as the bus pulled up to the theatre.

"The past is the past. Now come on, let's go sing." Rachel grabbed Quinn's arm and pulled her off the bus.

"Everyone gather around." Quinn heard Mr. Schue voice and turned around to gather with the rest of the team. "Ok you guys have worked so hard to get here. While some of you look like you just came from fighting," He said looking at both Santana and Quinn's knuckles and faces. "You guys are going to do great. You deserve this. You have about an hour until you take the stage. So go get ready. I'm so proud of you guys."

The group all mumbled thank you's before heading off to the room that had been designated as their prep room. There was a rack with all their costumes on it. The 12 gold outfits shimmering in the light.

"Will you do my hair?" Rachel asked looking at Quinn with those chocolate brown puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, of course I will." Quinn laughed as she walked over to one of the mirrors and sat Rachel down on the chair. The blonde plugged in the curling iron and waited for it to heat up before she began fixing Rachel's hair.

"You have way too much hair, you know that right?" Quinn had already been working on Rachel's hair for 15 minutes and she was only halfway done.

"Yeah, sorry, my hair is crazy thick. You can do yours if you need to. I can finish mine." Rachel said reaching up to take the curling iron from Quinn. The blonde pulled away.

"No it's fine, my hair is super thin so it won't take long. Start doing your makeup though." Quinn said as she went back to the mess of brown curls in front of her. Her feet were beginning to hurt from standing. She still wasn't that big, but she was pregnant and that was enough to make her exhausted. She finally finished the last bit of Rachel's hair before collapsing in a chair to do her own.

"Quinn, are you ok? Is the baby ok?" Rachel asked turning to look at Quinn. The sight took Quinn's breath away. Rachel looked beyond gorgeous.

"You're so beautiful." Quinn said once she regained the ability to speak. "And the baby is fine; I'm just a little tired. Too much standing."

"Can I do your makeup?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Quinn smiled before starting her own hair.

"Where are Santana and Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"Probably off someone having sex. I hope they have enough time to fix their sex hair." Quinn laughed. Rachel didn't seem as amused.

"The judges better not dock us points because those two can't keep their hands off each other long enough to get ready." Rachel huffed.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Berry?" Santana's ice cold voice sent shivers down Quinn's spine.

"N-nothing, Santana." Rachel stammered.

"Chill, Rachel, I'm just kidding." Santana laughed. "Come here, baby, let me do your makeup." Santana sat Brittany down and began applying concealer.

The 4 girls laughed and talked while they finished getting ready then they changed and walked over to the rest of the team.

"Ok are you ready guys? We have about 10 minutes until show time. Oral Intensity is performing right now, and Vocal Adrenaline is after you. I'm so proud of you. Now go out there and show them what you guys are all about." Mr. Schue finished his annoying pep talk and the group exited the room. Everyone except Rachel, Finn and Quinn walked backstage. Quinn walked the other 2 up to the front since that's where they would be entering from.

"Break a leg, sweetie." Quinn smiled before she leaned into kiss Rachel.

"I love you," Rachel said right before their lips met.

"Mailman, mailman, mailman." Quinn heard Finn mumble and she pulled away from Rachel.

"You really should work on that Finn. No girl is going to like a guy who can't keep it up." Rachel laughed before Quinn spoke again. "I'll see you on stage. Good luck, Finn." Quinn turned and walked away.

Quinn was so focused on watching the ground to make sure she didn't trip that she didn't see the woman she literally ran into.

"Oh I'm so sorry," Quinn said as she looked up. She was shocked at what she saw. It was Rachel. Only it wasn't. This woman was a few inches taller than Rachel, older, and her hair was a slightly darker shade of brown, but otherwise the two could be sisters.

"It's ok. You're from McKinley right?" The woman asked.

"Yes," Quinn answered.

"Why aren't you backstage with the rest of your team? You guys are about to go on."

"Yeah I know, I was just telling my girlfriend good luck, but I'm heading back there now." Quinn was feeling uneasy around this woman.

"Girlfriend?" The woman asked glancing down at Quinn's stomach. The blonde covered it defensively.

"Yeah, my girlfriend, Rachel." Quinn snapped. She saw something flash across the woman's face but she wasn't sure what it was.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I have nothing against gay people, really. I knew a really nice gay couple about 16 years ago. I was just surprised since you are pregnant. I do hope you two are very happy together. I'm very sorry for upsetting you. Good luck, uh-?"

"Quinn, my name is Quinn." The blonde stretched out her hand to shake the other woman's.

"I'm Shelby Corcoran. I'm the coach of Vocal Adrenaline." The girls shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Corcoran." Quinn turned and walked backstage. She knew she was going to be talking to Rachel's dads about this woman whenever she got a chance.

Their performance went off without a hitch. Rachel looked gorgeous and sounded amazing. Quinn didn't really register much other than that. As much fun as she had, Quinn was happy the performance was over. She was feeling tired and she was feeling some weird pangs in her stomach. She really needed to sit down.

They made their way back to the room they had been assigned. They were almost there when Quinn ran into a blonde woman.

"Quinnie?" Judy asked.

"Mom. What are you doing here?" Quinn did not like this at all.

"I wanted to watch you sing. You did amazing." Judy said.

Quinn felt Rachel come up beside her and felt Santana and Brittany's presence as well. Normally she relaxed around them, but she couldn't. The pain in her stomach was getting worse and she was beginning to get lightheaded.

"Can you go away now?" Santana snapped.

"I'm sorry, Quinn." Judy tried again.

"She knows. Leave now." Rachel said.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" Brittany asked.

"Nothing, B." Quinn said, knowing she wasn't convincing a single person.

"Judy, get the hell away from us." Santana snapped before leading Quinn back into their room. "Q, what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. Just some pains in my stomach. I'm ok though really. They will be announcing the winners soon, so we need to go back out there. Come on," Quinn stood up and starting walking out the room. The rest of the team followed her as they made their way back to the wings of the stage. Quinn ignored the pains in her stomach. They were less intense now and her lightheadedness had all but disappeared.

"You ok?" Rachel asked coming up behind her, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

"Yeah I feel better now. She is moving around. All is good." Quinn leaned back and kissed Rachel's cheek before pulled away to walk out on stage with the rest of the team. The winner was about to be announced.

"You did really really well, sweetie." Quinn said into Rachel's ear as she took her hand.

"The 2010 Big West Runners up: Vocal Adrenaline." The judge said. "And you show choir champions: New Directions."

Quinn had to have heard wrong. They won. They actually won. They were going to Nationals.

"We won." Rachel was jumping up and down screaming in her ear. She pulled the blonde into a kiss. "We won, we won!"

Quinn looked around and saw her entire team jumping up and down in excitement. She knew she shouldn't jump up and down but she was freaking out with her team. The trophy was handing to Rachel who in turn handed it to Mr. Schue. "Congratulations, Mr. Schue." Rachel said with a grin on her face.

The team made their way down to the various parents. Quinn and Rachel were pulled into hugs by Hiram and LeRoy.

"Congrats girls. We are so proud of you." Hiram said.

"Thanks." Rachel said before turning to LeRoy. "Quinn has been feeling some pain in her stomach. I think we should take her to get an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok."

"Ok, let's go then." Hiram said. They said various goodbyes before piling in the car. They were at the hospital in a matter of minutes. They got checked in and Quinn and Rachel were taken back. The doctor checked Quinn out and listened to their daughter's heartbeat.

"Ok girls, your daughter seems to be doing good. Her heartbeat is strong. Quinn, I'm not going to put you on bed rest, but I want you to go to school and then home. Take it easy. I want you to spend the majority of your time on the couch or in bed."

"What about sex?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel!" Quinn felt herself turn red.

"What? Saturday, remember?" Rachel asked.

"I'm not going to ban you guys from sex, but nothing too crazy, ok?" The doctor smiled at Quinn felt herself blush even more.

"Ok can we end this conversation now?" Quinn asked. Rachel and the doctor laughed.

"Go home and get some rest. Check in with your normal doctor sometime next week, Quinn. You girls have a good night. Take it easy." The doctor said before walking out of the room.

"I love you," Rachel said.

"I love you too." Quinn smiled before kissing her girlfriend. "Can we go home and watch a movie now?"

"Yeah, come on." Rachel took her hand and led her out of the room.

Quinn couldn't believe the day they had. While the day had been exciting, Quinn was mostly curious about this Shelby woman. She knew she was going to have to be very careful with this situation. She didn't want her girlfriend to spiral out of control. Quinn knew this woman had to be Rachel's mom. The blonde also knew this situation wasn't going to end well.


	34. Chapter 34

Rachel loved listening to Quinn's heartbeat. It was her favorite sound in the entire world. The quiet beat made her feel safe. Rachel had woken up 10 minutes before and realized she was tangled up with Quinn, her head in the mess of blonde hair. She had laid there for a few minutes before readjusting her position and laying her head on Quinn's chest so she could listen to that sound. She rested her hand on Quinn's ever-growing stomach and she could feel the tiny being instead moving around. Rachel would never be able to understand how Quinn was able to sleep with their daughter moving.

"Knock, Knock." LeRoy said as he slowly poked his head in.

"Hey." Rachel whispered, lifting her head up off Quinn's chest so she could see the man. "What's up?"

"Your father and I would like to talk to you. We thought it might be easier while Quinn is asleep." LeRoy said.

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute." Rachel said. LeRoy closed the door and Rachel laid her head back down. She just wanted to lay with the blonde for a few more minutes.

"Rachel?" She heard Quinn ask.

"Yeah baby?"

"I'm tired." Quinn answered.

"I know, honey. Go back to sleep. I'm going to go downstairs and talk to the dads." Rachel said slowly starting to get up.

"No." Quinn said gripping Rachel's tank top.

"Quinn, I have to." Rachel said.

"No, please don't go." Rachel could hear Quinn's voice break.

"Ok,ok I'll stay. Let me just go tell them that I can't talk right now. I will be right back, I promise." Rachel said, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend before walking out of her room and down the stairs.

"Good morning dad, daddy." Rachel said as she walked into the kitchen. Both men were seated at the kitchen table, serious looks covering their features. "Something is wrong with Quinn. Do you think we can have this conversation later? She seems really scared or upset for some reason."

"Ok, we can talk when you girls get up. Artie's dad brought over a wheelchair for Quinn to use when we go shopping today. I've already put it in the car. Also, your father and I just wanted to let you know that Russell has dropped the charges again Noah. I told his lawyer that we had pictures of the bruises he left on Quinn. His lawyer advised him to drop the charges, so he did." Hiram said.

"Oh thank goodness." Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Unfortunately, we don't think that is the last we will be hearing from the Fabrays, but at least it is over for now." LeRoy added.

"Thank you for letting me know." Rachel said as she walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out 2 bottles of water. "I'm going to go back up to Quinn and see if I can figure out what is wrong."

"Rachel we are going to have to talk about the cutting today. It's up to you whether you want Quinn there for that conversation." Hiram said. Rachel just nodded before heading back up the stairs to the blonde.

Rachel reached their door and quietly opened it. The blonde girl looked so peaceful. Quinn was laying on her back, her hair strewn all across the pillow. Her tank top had been twisted in her sleep and her right breast was exposed. Rachel quietly sat the waters down on the desk and tiptoed over to the bed. She carefully climbed up into the bed and leaned down, capturing the exposed nipple into her mouth. She flicked it with her tongue, then sucked and teased it before releasing it from her mouth. Rachel knew she was teasing her girlfriend since the blonde was squirming beneath her. Rachel wasn't sure if Quinn was awake though since her eyes were still closed.

"Quinn?" Rachel whispered peppering kisses along Quinn's collarbone. "Wake up, honey." Rachel continued up to her girlfriend's neck. She reached the part of Quinn's neck that was extra sensitive and began lightly teasing it.

"Mmmm, Rachel." Quinn moaned. She opened her hazel eyes and Rachel stopped what she was doing and smiled up at the girl. "Why did you stop?"

Rachel laid her head back on Quinn's chest and draped her arm around Quinn's stomach. "I stopped because I just want to lay here with you. Is that ok?"

"Always." Quinn answered and Rachel could feel her fingers running through her dark brown hair.

"Why didn't you want me to leave earlier? Are you ok, baby?"

"Yeah." Quinn said as she snuggled closer to Rachel. "I know it's stupid, but I just was feeling really safe and warm and we don't have school today and I just wanted you to stay."

"Alright, we can stay right here." Rachel said slowly drawing lazy circles on Quinn's stomach.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked quietly.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Are you nervous about Saturday?" Quinn asked.

"No." Rachel said and she could hear the shakiness in her voice.

"Are you lying?"

"Yes." Rachel answered.

"What scares you?" Quinn shifted her position so she could look into Rachel's eyes, but they were still tangled together.

"I don't know," The brunette started. She wasn't sure why it was so hard to talk to Quinn about this. "I guess I'm afraid of how much it will hurt. I'm afraid I won't be as good as you want. I'm afraid I won't be pretty enough."

"Oh Rachel," Quinn reached out to cup Rachel's face. "There is no one prettier in the entire world. You are gorgeous. Every last part of you. It's going to hurt and I can't stop that, but I promise it won't hurt for long. As for you being good? I already know you are since before we made that promise of waiting until our hormones caught up with our hearts, you got me off a couple times." Quinn smirked seductively and Rachel before pulling her into a kiss. Quinn deepened it quickly and Rachel was sure that Quinn's kisses could fix everything. Quinn pulled away. "I love you, Rachel Barbara Berry."

"I love you to, Lucy Quinn Fabray." Rachel smiled at her beautiful girlfriend. She couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten. "Are you ready to go downstairs? We are supposed to go shopping for the nursery today and the dads want to talk to me about the cutting and I would rather you be there with me."

"I guess I have to get up eventually." Quinn laughed.

"Technically you don't since you are supposed to spend most of your time in bed." Rachel smiled as she stood up and helped Quinn get out of bed.

"How are we going to go shopping if I'm not allowed to walk around much?" Quinn asked as the girls got dressed.

"Glad you asked. Artie's dad brought over one of Artie's old wheelchairs. Dad has already put it in the car." Rachel smiled as they headed down the stairs.

"I have to be pushed in a wheelchair? Really?" Quinn asked the men when she walked into the room.

"Yeah, sorry Quinn." LeRoy said as he switched chairs at the table so the girls could sit next to each other.

Rachel sat down next to Quinn and she could feel her body tense at the thought of discussing her cutting yet again. She planned to keep her mouth shut until they brought it up. Maybe they would forget.

"Are you ready to talk, Rachel?" LeRoy asked her.

"Well damn." Rachel said not realizing she said it out loud.

"Language, Rachel." Hiram said. Quinn took Rachel's hand in hers before Hiram continued, "What happened?

"Um, Puck said some really awful things and then Quinn and I got in a fight." Rachel just looked at her hand in Quinn's. She couldn't look at her dads.

"Ok well your father and I have discussed it and we understand that everyone relapses. However, we would like for you to tell your therapist at your next appointment. She needs to know and you need to talk to someone about it." Hiram said.

"I talked to Quinn and Santana. I'm good. I don't want to go to therapy again." Rachel said although she knew it wasn't going to work.

"You need to go, honey. If you are still cutting yourself, you need to talk to your doctor." LeRoy put his hand on Rachel's, but she pulled away and put it on her lap. She hated being told what to do, especially when it was about something they didn't understand.

"I'm fine." Rachel snapped. She felt Quinn squeeze her hand trying to calm the brunette down but it just angered Rachel even more. She pulled her hand away from her girlfriends grasp and clasped her hands in her lap. Rachel ignored the hurt look on Quinn's face.

"You're clearly not fine, Rachel. We hate making you do something you don't want to, but we can't help you and she can." Hiram tried reasoning with his daughter.

"I don't need help." Rachel said. "You know what I need?"

"What?" Quinn spoke up for the first time.

"Fresh air and to not be here with you 3." Rachel said and she got up, grabbed her purse and keys and walked out the door. She heard them call after her but she didn't care. She was sick and tired of people butting into her life about the cutting. It drove her insane. She needed to get away. She got in her car and started driving. She needed to escape and she knew exactly where to go to do that.


	35. Chapter 35

"Fresh air and to not be here with you 3." Rachel said as she got up and stormed out.

"Rachel, wait!" Quinn tried to get up to follow Rachel.

"Quinn, sit." LeRoy commanded as the 2 men followed Rachel to the door, yelling after her. Quinn could hear commotion from the front of the house and moments later the men returned without the brunette.

"She left." Hiram said and Quinn tried to get up again to go after her girlfriend.

"Quinn you need to sit down." LeRoy said again. "This stress is not good for the baby."

"I need to find her though. I need to know where she is. She is so upset. I need to go." Quinn stood up again and started walking to the front door.

"Exactly where do you think you are going? You don't have a car." Hiram said. Quinn knew he was right. Her dad had taken her car away from her.

"I'll take yours." Quinn snapped and grabbed the keys off the key holder.

"Quinn, let one of us go with you then." Hiram said.

"No, I need to find her myself. I need to talk to her alone. I love her too much to let her hurt. Please let me go." Quinn looked the men directly in their eyes. They hesitated. "Look, I will be driving so I will be sitting down. I will be fine. Please, please let me go find her."

"Ok, you can go, but call us every 20 minutes and call us the second you find her." Hiram said and Quinn pulled out the iPhone they had bought her just to show that she had it with her.

"Got it. Every 20 minutes. I promise. Thank you." Quinn smiled at the men before walking out the door and climbing into LeRoy's Honda Civic. Quinn immediately picked up her phone and called Rachel. Straight to voicemail. She called Santana after. No answer. She called Brittany next.

"Hello?" Brittany answered after the third ring.

"Hey, Britt. Have you seen Rachel? Has she called you?" Quinn asked quickly.

"No, sorry Q, I haven't heard from her." Brittany answered.

"What about Santana? Is she with you?" Quinn asked.

"No, she is spending the day with her mom. They are supposed to be shopping all day. She is coming over after they are done for sexy times." Brittany said sounding way too cheerful for the mood Quinn was in.

"Ok, thanks B. If you hear from her, please let me know. Bye." Quinn hung up before Brittany even responded.

Quinn called Mercedes next, then Tina followed by Kurt. None of them had heard from her. Quinn decided to drive to the park and see if her girlfriend was there. Rachel had always loved going to the park. Quinn drove up and parked the car in the parking lot. She didn't see Rachel's car but she figured she would walk around and check anyway. She walked around the playground, down to the pond and she even checked the bathrooms. No Rachel.

Quinn called her girlfriend for what felt like the millionth time and the phone went to voicemail again. Quinn wasn't sure if Rachel's phone was off or if she was just ignoring the blonde. Quinn called Santana again, hoping the girl would take a few minutes away from her mom to talk to her. No answer.

"Hey, S, it's me. Look, Rachel has run away and I can't find her. I'm really worried. If you hear from her, please please please have her call me or at least let me know where she is. Thanks, Santana." Quinn finished leaving the voicemail and sat in the park's parking lot for a few moments, resting her head on the steering wheel. Quinn could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She just wanted to hold her girlfriend. That's all she wanted and she couldn't even find her.

"Rachel, please, where are you?" Quinn cried out loud. She knew Rachel couldn't hear her but she needed to say it. She called the rest of the Glee club and none of them had heard from her. Quinn also checked in with Rachel's dads who hadn't heard from the diva yet either. Quinn started driving again, looking for Rachel's car everywhere. She went to the dance studio, music store, community theatre, the school, and even the baby store. Nothing. Quinn's phone rang as she was driving back to their house.

"Santana, is she with you? Have you heard from her?" Quinn answered without saying hello.

"Sorry, Q, haven't heard from her. You know she will come home eventually. Just let her be for now. What happened?" Santana answered.

"I don't even know. Her dads were asking her about the cutting and she flipped out and left and now we can't find her. I have looked all over town. I've talked to every member of the Glee club. No one has heard from her or seen her. I don't know what to do." Quinn's voice broke and she started sobbing.

"Quinn, listen to me. I need you to go home and lay down. My niece can't handle this stress. If I hear from her I will let you know and then we can go from there, ok?" Santana asked.

"S, I can't just stop looking for her." Quinn argued.

"Quinn, go. Now." Santana commanded. Quinn knew not to argue with the Latina.

"Ok, S. Please call me if you hear from her." Quinn said as she turned the car around to head back to the house.

"I will. Calm down, ok? She is ok." Santana said. "I will talk to you later."

"Bye, S." Quinn drove back to the house in silence. She couldn't deal with the radio or singing right now. She needed to think. She needed to figure out why her girlfriend freaked out so much. Quinn had thought that Rachel knew she could always talk to her. They had seemed to be ok about the cutting stuff. Quinn had always tried to not judge her girlfriend. She had always tried to be someone Rachel could talk to. Quinn now knew that her girlfriend didn't trust her as much as she had let on. That hurt. Quinn tried to calm herself down as she pulled into the driveway. The tears were still falling when she walked through the front door though.

"Quinn? Are you ok?" Hiram asked as she rushed to pull her into a hug.

"I couldn't find her. I don't know where she is. What if she is hurt?" Quinn bawled into the tall man's shirt.

"She just needs time to cool off. I'm sure she is fine." LeRoy said but Quinn could tell he didn't mean it or believe it himself.

"I'm going to go take a shower and a nap. Come get me if you hear from her." Quinn pulled away from LeRoy and walked up the stairs and into her room. Their room. The room that smelled like Rachel. Quinn broke down again. She knew it was mostly her hormones. She knew that Rachel was ok, wherever she was, but Quinn wanted her girlfriend.

Quinn walked into the bathroom and stripped off her clothes before carefully stepping into the shower. She stood there just letting the water fall off her body as she cried. She finally let everything from the past few weeks out. After what must've been an eternity, Quinn quickly washed her hair and body and got out of the shower. The blonde dried off and put on a pair of Rachel's shorts and one of her girlfriend's tank tops before climbing into Rachel's side of the bed. She was trying to completely surround herself with the scent of her girlfriend. She wanted to feel safe. Quinn buried her head into the pillow and tried to fall asleep. After about 15 minutes she was able to, Rachel filling her mind.

Quinn woke up a little while later, the sound of Katy Perry filling her ears. She had a next text message.

"Sorry I lied to you earlier. Rachel is here. –S."

"Damn it." Quinn yelled before getting out of bed, throwing on a pair of flip flops and storming down the stairs.

"Quinn? Are you ok? Did you hear from Rachel?" Hiram asked getting up of the couch.

"She is at Santana's. I'll be back." Quinn grabbed the keys again and stormed out of the house. She broke at least 10 different laws on the drive over there but she didn't care. She needed her girlfriend. Needed to see her and make sure she was ok. She pulled up to the house in less than 5 minutes. Quinn stormed up to the front door and banged on it. Quinn noticed that the only car in the driveway was Rachel's meaning that Santana's parents weren't home. Rachel answered the door.

"Quinn!" Rachel squealed and she through her arms around Quinn before pulling away. "I missed you so much. Where have you been?"

Quinn could smell the alcohol on the diva's breath and she turned towards Santana.

"You got her drunk? Are you serious?" Quinn yelled at Santana.

The Latina just sat on the couch smirking.

"Santana!" Quinn yelled again.

"Sorry, Q. She wanted to drink." Santana laughed.

"Unbelievable." Quinn said as she looked over at her girlfriend again who was busy trying to pour herself another drink. Quinn was not looking forward to dealing with this.


	36. Chapter 36

As soon as Rachel had stormed out the door, she got in her car and drove to Santana's. She needed to dull the pain and the anger she was feeling. She knocked on the door and impatiently waited for Santana to open the door. As soon as it was open, Rachel stormed into the house, passed Santana and headed for the kitchen.

"Berry, what the hell are you doing?" Santana slammed the door and stormed after her.

"Are your parent's home?" Rachel asked as she rummaged through the cabinets in the kitchen.

"No, they forgot they had to do something with the Fabray's today." Santana said, trying to stop the brunette.

"Asses." Rachel snapped before walking out of the room.

"Yeah they are." Santana said as she followed Rachel out of the kitchen. "Where are you going? What are you looking for?"

Rachel marched right into Santana's room and dropped to the floor to look under the bed. "Damn." She said. Nothing was there.

"Berry!" Santana yelled but the other brunette who had moved onto the closet.

"Nothing." Rachel said to herself. She stood still for a second and looked around the room. She knew it had to be here somewhere. The hope chest at the foot of the bed caught her eye. "Of course." Rachel dropped to her knees and opened the chest. She started taking out the random crap that was in it.

"Seriously, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Santana snapped and she bent down to try and stop the diva.

Rachel ignored her and once she had emptied out the chest, she pulled out the false bottom without another thought and found what she was looking for. Bottles and bottles of vodka, rum, tequila and whiskey. "Yes." She said as she picked up a bottle of tequila and a couple shot glasses and walked out of the room to the kitchen. She still didn't say anything to Santana as she poured herself 2 shots and downed them without a second thought. It burned and she choked on it but she didn't care.

"Ok, stop." Santana said and she pulled the bottle and the shot glasses away. "First off how on earth did you figure out where the alcohol was?"

"Ever watch Buffy? She has a hope chest with a false bottom to hide her weapons and such from her mom." Rachel said trying to get the bottle back from the Latina.

"Weirdo. Second, what the hell is wrong with you?" Santana asked. Her phone started ringing so Rachel didn't have a chance to answer the question.

"Is it Quinn? Don't answer it." Rachel begged. Santana let it go to voicemail.

"What happened?" Santana pressed.

"I don't know. My dad's were talking to me about the cutting and I just felt so trapped. I felt like they were all judging me and I snapped at them and left." Rachel said finally managing to get the alcohol back. She poured another shot and downed it.

"Where does Quinn fit into this?" Santana asked. She took a shot as well.

"I'm not actually sure. She was just there I guess. She kind of got yelled at as well." Rachel took another shot. She was getting lightheaded fast. She didn't care though and she downed another shot.

"Ok, you have had enough." Santana took the bottle away again.

"But…" Rachel started.

"No, trust me that is enough to get you drunk. It will hit you soon. No more." Santana said and she put the alcohol back in her room.

"Fine. Fuck you." Rachel snapped.

"See it's already hit you because I know you aren't stupid enough to say that to me." Santana smiled when she returned. "Now what do you want to do?"

"Punch a wall." Rachel replied.

"Yeah that's not gonna happen. What else?" Santana said.

"Uh, can we dance and sing?" Rachel asked. She really wanted to sing.

"I would say no, but I can tell you are pretty much drunk and I know you aren't gonna listen. So go ahead. Stereo is over there." Santana said sounding bored. Rachel didn't care though. She was feeling very happy and wanting to dance. She flipped the radio to the local pop station and sang at the top of her lungs to Lady Gaga. After Gaga she sang to Kesha and Katy Perry.

"Never would have pegged you for loving this kind of music." Santana sat on the couch and watched the girl dance around.

"I like it all except I think Kesha is a moron." Rachel slurred. She was completely drunk now that the alcohol was making its way through her system.

"Hey I'm gonna call Quinn back. Turn the music down." Santana said, pulling out her phone.

"Please don't tell her I'm here." Rachel said as she turned the music down.

"I won't. Chill out." Santana said putting her phone on speaker so Rachel could hear too.

"Santana, is she with you? Have you heard from her?" Quinn answered without saying hello.

"Sorry, Q, haven't heard from her. You know she will come home eventually. Just let her be for now. What happened?" Santana answered.

"I don't even know. Her dads were asking her about the cutting and she flipped out and left and now we can't find her. I have looked all over town. I've talked to every member of the Glee club. No one has heard from her or seen her. I don't know what to do." Quinn's voice broke and she started sobbing. The sound killed Rachel. She was beginning to feel awful about what she was doing

"Quinn, listen to me. I need you to go home and lay down. My niece can't handle this stress. If I hear from her I will let you know and then we can go from there, ok?" Santana asked.

"S, I can't just stop looking for her." Quinn argued.

"Quinn, go. Now." Santana commanded. Rachel knew Quinn wouldn't argue with Santana for long.

"Ok, S. Please call me if you hear from her." Quinn said.

"I will. Calm down, ok? She is ok." Santana said. "I will talk to you later."

Santana hung up the phone and Rachel immediately turned the music back on.

"Santana dance with me." Rachel slurred as she grabbed the Latina by the wrists and tried to pulled her off the couch.

"Yeah, that really isn't going to happen." Santana kept her seat.

"All eyes of me in the center of the ring just like a circus." Rachel sang loudly. "I love Britney Spears."

"Yeah, I get that. Everyone on the block gets that." Santana laughed.

"Why won't you sing with me?" Rachel asked.

"Because I'm not drunk and don't feel the need to look like an idiot." Santana smirked.

"I am not an idiot. I am awesome. I am the star of the Glee club and I have the hottest girlfriend in the school." Rachel slurred. "Actually scratch that, I have the hottest girlfriend in the world."

"Uh huh." Santana said sounding completely bored with the conversation. "Look, Berry can you go back to dancing around like an idiot? It was amusing me."

"I am not an idiot." Rachel slurred again but she went back to singing and dancing anyway. 45 minutes later she was beyond happy. She loved alcohol. Then she heard a knock at the door. Santana got up to answer it but Rachel literally ran to the door to get there first. She threw open the door.

"Quinn!" Rachel squealed and she through her arms around Quinn before pulling away. "I missed you so much. Where have you been?"

Quinn stepped back before turning to Santana.

"You got her drunk? Are you serious?" Quinn yelled at Santana. Rachel snuck back into Santana's room and got the tequila back.

The Latina just sat on the couch smirking.

"Santana!" Quinn yelled again.

"Sorry, Q. She wanted to drink." Santana laughed.

"Unbelievable." Rachel heard Quinn mutter as she poured herself another shot and downed it.

"Berry, I thought I took that away from you!" Santana yelled as she grabbed the bottle again. This time she placed it in the highest cabinet. "No more!"

"Fine." Rachel pouted.

"Whatever, Berry." Santana said.

"I can't believe you let her get drunk. Are you insane?" Quinn continued to yell at Santana.

"She did not let me get drunk. I did it myself." Rachel slurred and stumbled as she walked towards the couch.

"Santana, why?" Quinn pressed.

"Look she came over here, pushed herself inside the door and went rummaging through my cabinets. Then she went to my room and found my alcohol." Santana crossed her arms across her chest.

"She found the alcohol hidden under the false bottom of your hope chest all by herself?" Quinn asked incredulously.

"She did!" Santana protested. "She said she learned it from that stupid vampire slayer. What's her name? Buffy. That's it. Something about Buffy having a hope chest with a false bottom." Santana said. Then she turned and walked over to the couch and sat down. "I think she is funny when she is drunk."

"I don't. She is going to get into so much trouble." Quinn said.

"Then stay here." Santana said. "My parents are out with yours today."

"Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrooooo?" Rachel sang causing Santana to break down into a fit of laughter.

"We have to sober her up. Go make her some coffee, Santana." Quinn said as she sat down next to the Latina.

"I'm not drunk." Rachel slurred. She laid down on the couch, with her head in Quinn's lap and listened to the conversation going on before her. She knew the other 2 thought she fell asleep.

"You know that coffee doesn't actually sober you up. Go give her a shower instead." Santana snapped, not getting up from the couch.

"I-uh…" Quinn stammered. "We haven't actually, I mean I haven't seen her, we've never…"

"You haven't fucked her?" Santana gaped.

"Santana!" Quinn yelled.

"What?" Santana asked innocently. "You 2 have been together for like 7 months and you haven't done anything? How do you know she is any good?"

"I mean we haven't…together but she has…to me. She is good. Trust me." Quinn felt her cheeks turn red.

"Why are you waiting?" Santana asked.

"Well when we first got together, we were, um, hot and heavy, but Rachel is a virgin and she was scared so we decided to wait until our hearts caught up with our hormones. We were supposed to do it yesterday after Regional's but after my dad beat me up; we decided to postpone it until this Saturday." Quinn finished and she started running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"I think that's great, Q, I really do." Santana smiled.

"But?" Quinn asked.

"I can't believe you have gone that long without sleeping with her. I mean we used to have sex like every day." Santana laughed.

"Stop." Quinn said.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I think it's good. I personally don't think I could do it. I personally love sex too much. Although to be fair, I also personally know how much you love sex. I know personally have loud you have yelled 'Fuck me' when we had sex." Santana kept laughing.

"Ok, we are done with this conversation." Quinn said.

"Ok, Q, I really am sorry. Seriously. I think it's great you love her so much." Santana said sincerely.

"Ok." Quinn said. Rachel could feel the blonde shift a little so she could place her hand on her pregnant stomach. Rachel knew she was trying to feel her daughter.

"Are you nervous?" Santana asked.

"Yeah." Quinn answered.

"Do you think Rachel is ready for this?" Santana asked.

"I hope so. It isn't something she asked for. I think she will be great at it though." Quinn answered.

"Yeah she probably will be. Think of any names?" Santana asked.

"Well Puck wants Elizabeth and Rachel wants Kristin. So I don't know." Quinn replied.

"I want to be a mom." Rachel said.

"Wow, a little slow on the uptake aren't we, Berry?" Santana said.

"Shut it, Santana." Rachel slurred again.

"I'm gonna let that one slide since you are trashed, but don't say it again." Santana tried to sound tough but it just wasn't working.

"Whatever." Rachel said.

"How am I going to sober her up? We are supposed to go shopping with her dad's today." Quinn asked.

"I don't know. She had a lot to drink. I don't think she is sobering up anytime soon. Maybe you should reschedule with them. Go shopping next Sunday. You know, after you take their daughters innocence." Santana smirked again. "Although after what you told me, she doesn't sound so innocent."

"Yeah maybe I will do that." Quinn said, choosing to ignore Santana's comment. "Sweetie, sit up for a second so I can get my phone and call your dad's again." Rachel sat up for a second and felt the entire world spin. As soon as Quinn stood up, Rachel collapsed again.

"You ok, Berry?" Santana asked.

"Spinning." Rachel said. Quinn returned to the couch and Rachel lifted her head back up a little so her girlfriend could sit down, then she placed her head back into Quinn's lap.

"Hey Hiram." Quinn said into the phone. "If it's ok with you guys, we are going to hang out with Santana for the rest of the afternoon. Do you think it's ok for us to go shopping next Sunday instead?" Quinn paused for a few seconds. "Ok, thanks so much. We will be home later. Bye." Quinn hung up. "We are good."

"Good. Now what are we going to do?" Santana asked.

"Well, something that involves sitting on the couch most likely since I'm slightly on bed rest and my girlfriend is about to pass out." Quinn said.

"Movie it is then. How about House of Wax?" Santana said, getting off the couch and putting the DVD in.

"Do I get a say?" Quinn asked.

"Nope." Santana sat back down and the movie started playing.

"But that movie is horrible." Quinn said.

"Yeah, but you get to watch Paris Hilton die. Always a plus." Santana lauged.

Rachel tried to stay away for the movie, but she could feel the alcohol in her system making her sleepy. She felt everything go black within 20 minutes as she drifted off to sleep.


	37. Chapter 37

"Q, it's time to wake up." Quinn heard Santana's voice fill her ears.

"What?" Quinn asked trying to focus on Santana's voice.

"You and your girl toy fell asleep on my couch. My parents are going to be home soon and they can't know Rachel is drunk."

"Right. Okay." Quinn tried to get her brain to focus. Everything was fuzzy. She tried to move but realized Rachel was laying on top of her. "Rachel, sweetie, wake up." Quinn shook the tiny brunette slightly.

"No." Rachel said.

"You need to wake up, sweetie. We have to go home." Quinn tried again.

"No." Rachel said again.

"Berry, get your ass up." Santana snapped.

"Ow." Rachel covered her ears with her hands.

"Santana, you got her drunk, so don't yell at her." Quinn said. Santana rolled her eyes and walked out of the living room. "Rachel, honey, sit up." The brunette did as she was told, looking like she was going to throw up.

"Everything is spinning." Rachel said as she put her head in her hands.

"I know. That's what you get when you down shot after shot. We've been asleep for a couple of hours so most of it should already be through your system. Unfortunately now you get the hangover part of it. Let's get you home so you can get into bed and go to sleep." Quinn said, brushing Rachel's hair out of her eyes."

"Seriously? The two of you are still lying on the couch. What part of get your asses up and go home do you not get? My parents are on their way home. They will kill the 3 of us. Now go." Santana yelled.

"Ow!" Rachel yelled back.

"Sorry, Berry." Santana apologized.

"Don't worry, S, we're going. We have a lot to talk about anyway. Come on, Rach. Thanks for the alcohol, Santana." Quinn rolled her eyes as she helped Rachel up and out to the car.

The drive back to the Berry household was quiet. Neither girl said a word. Quinn knew the motion of the car was making her girlfriend feel sick, so she didn't try and make her talk. They had all night to talk. Quinn took Rachel up to their room after the short car ride. Quinn paused to tell Rachel's dads that she would be right back down and continued up the stairs with the tiny brunette.

"Come on, sweetie. Change into your pajamas." Quinn handed shorts and a tank top to the smaller girl. "While you're at it, why don't you go brush your teeth?" Quinn watched as Rachel stumbled into the bathroom, returning ten minutes later changed and ready for bed.

"Alright, come on, climb into bed." Quinn tucked her girlfriend in, kissing her softly on the forehead. "I love you, Rachel."

Rachel just moaned in response and Quinn knew the girl had already drifted off to dreamland. She flipped off the light and headed back downstairs.

"Is she ok?" LeRoy asked.

"Yeah. Apparently after she got mad at us, she went to Santana's and hijacked her alcohol." Quinn said, sitting down on the couch.

"Thank you for going to get her." Hiram said.

"How badly are you going to punish her for this?" Quinn asked.

"Is she feeling hung-over?" LeRoy asked. Quinn nodded. "Well, then I think due to the circumstances, we won't punish her. This is the last time we will be lenient about you guys drinking though. Next time will not be as pleasant. Do you understand me, Quinn?"

"Yes sir. If you don't mind, I'm going to go take a shower and keep Rachel company. My guess is that we are in for a long night. Goodnight." Quinn kissed each man on the cheek before heading upstairs to her girlfriend.

Quinn stood in the doorway of their bedroom just looking at her girl. Even drunk, Rachel was gorgeous. Quinn absentmindedly placed her hands on her protruding stomach. The blonde smiled and walked into the bedroom. She grabbed shorts and a t-shirt out of the dresser and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

20 minutes later the blonde emerged with a towel wrapped around her head to dry her hair. She stopped in the doorway again to look at her girlfriend. She smiled once more and walked over to the bed and climbed in.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked groggily.

"Sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep." Quinn snuggled up to her girlfriend.

"I'm really sorry for storming out earlier. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. You didn't do anything." Rachel said.

"It's ok, Rach. I'm just glad you're safe. You scared me when I couldn't find you." Quinn looked the brunette in the eyes.

"My head hurts."

"I'll bet. Why Santana's?" Quinn asked.

"I knew she would have massive amounts of alcohol. I wanted to make everything stop and I figured that getting drunk would do that." Rachel admitted.

"Don't do that again, ok?" Quinn asked.

"I won't, baby." Rachel smiled.

"Good. Now let's get some sleep, ok? You'll feel better tomorrow." Quinn snuggled up against her girlfriend more and wrapped her arms around Rachel as best she could, before drifting off to sleep.


	38. Chapter 38

The next couple days flew by for Rachel. She had been sent back to her therapist to discuss her cutting. She wasn't too thrilled about being there but she wanted to get better for her dads and her girlfriend. She wanted to get better for herself too.

It was Wednesday before Rachel knew it. Glee club was pretty chill that week due to their win. The singers were going to have to start rehearsing for Nationals soon but they were just relishing their win the past weekend for now.

"So Rach, how's therapy going?" Santana asked as she took a bite of her salad. It was lunchtime and the four girls were sat together as always.

"It's ok. Nothing new really. Just working on a better plan for next time." Rachel answered.

"That's good. So Quinn, any ideas on what you're going to name my niece? I highly recommend Santana." The Latina smiled at the pregnant blonde across the table.

"I'm not naming her Santana. I'm sorry. Puck wants to name her Elizabeth and Rachel wants Kristin. So maybe I'll use those." Quinn answered.

"You should name her Charlie." Brittany said.

"Brittany!" Santana snapped at the blonde.

"What?" Brittany asked.

"I'm not naming her Charlie." Quinn said, no emotion in her voice.

"I just think it would be nice." Brittany responded.

"No, Brittany. Not Charlie. Drop it, ok?" Quinn asked.

"Ok." Brittany said almost silently and went back to eating her burger.

"I'm sorry, Britt. I'm going to go to the library. I need to print off an article for class. I'll catch up with you guys later." Quinn leaned down and kissed Rachel and walked out of the cafeteria before Rachel could ask questions.

"Ok what the hell just happened?" Rachel asked unbelievably confused.

"You don't know who Charlie is?" Santana asked.

"No, want to enlighten me?" Rachel asked.

"Charlie is Quinn's twin sister." Brittany said.

"What? Quinn doesn't have a twin sister." Rachel said wondering if this was Brittany being ditzy again.

"She used to. Charlie was killed in a car accident when they were 10." Santana answered.

"How do I not know this?"

"Quinn refuses to talk about it and probably always will. She hasn't mentioned Charlie in well over 5 years." Santana said.

"How have I never heard about Charlie? I've gone to school with you guys since 1st grade. I don't remember there being another Fabray."

"Charlie was always very quiet. She kept to herself mostly. If you didn't have a class with her, you didn't know her. I'm sure you saw her all the time, but just thought it was Quinn. They were identical. She loved art. She was always painting and coloring. The walls in her bedroom were always covered in things she had created. Quinn's tended to be covered in pictures of the family, or whatever music she was listening to in elementary school."

"What age did you say we were when she died?" Rachel asked.

"10. 4th grade." Brittany said.

"That's why I don't remember hearing about the accident. My dads and I went and lived in Dallas for a year. It must've not been as big of news by the time I moved back. Wow, I just can't believe this. How could she never have mentioned her? So how did the accident happen?"

"Some guy ran a red light and slammed into their car. It hit the side Charlie was on and killed her instantly. Quinn was in the hospital for a few days. She had a concussion and broke her wrist. I think they kept her there more as a psychological thing though. Their older sister, Courtney, wasn't in the car. The whole family had to go to intensive therapy to deal with the loss. Quinn missed 2 months of school. Their dad started drinking all the time. I suspect that's when the abuse started. Russell just couldn't deal. Maybe it's because he was the one driving that day. It was horrible. I haven't thought about this in years." Santana said as the bell rang signaling that lunch was over.

"I just don't even know what to say to this. How could I not know anything about this?" The girls started walking to their classes.

"It was a long time ago. It just isn't talked about anymore." Santana said as her and Brittany walked into their English class leaving Rachel to walk to her own class, her head full of questions.

After a test and 2 more class periods of thinking, Rachel decided not to push the Charlie matter for the time being. She knew it wasn't the time to push Quinn especially with what had happened the week before with Quinn's parents.

Quinn was waiting at Rachel's car when the day was over and neither girl mentioned what had happened at lunch. Instead, they were busy planning their weekend plans.

"Ok so I've booked the hotel for Friday night with check out on Saturday at noon. That way we can be home and up early for baby shopping we are going to do on Sunday with my dads." Rachel said as they pulled into the driveway.

"That sounds really good. Thanks for taking care of that, sweetie. I appreciate it." Quinn smiled. She stepped out of the car and walked across the lawn. "Are you nervous about the hotel?"

"A little I guess. I mean it's a big step but I'm excited about it at the same time." Rachel opened the front door, and allowed the blonde to walk in ahead of her.

"I promise I'll be careful with you." Quinn winked and gave Rachel a quick peck on the cheeks. "Ok, I really have to pee."

Rachel laughed as the girl she loved ran into the downstairs bathroom. The brunette walked over to her father's office to say hello to him.

"Hi." Rachel smiled at her dad.

"Hi, honey." Hiram smiled as he looked up from his computer. "Where's Quinn?"

"Peeing. I'm never going to be pregnant. Far too many bathroom breaks." Rachel laughed.

"You'll have a baby one day. I know it." Hiram told his daughter.

"Ok, dad." Rachel smiled at him. "I'll let you get back to work. Quinn and I will be in the kitchen if you need us.

"Ok, honey." Hiram answered as Rachel walked out of the office and into the kitchen. Quinn was already there sitting at the table.

"Hey baby. What are you in the mood for?" Rachel asked opening the fridge to see what they had. "We have sandwich stuff, fruit, hot pockets, pizza, and chicken nuggets."

"Can I have chicken nuggets, please?" Quinn smiled at Rachel.

"Of course you can." Rachel quickly prepared Quinn's snack and sat down at the table while Quinn ate.

"These are very yummy."

"I'm glad you like them." Rachel said. She wasn't entirely paying attention though. She was looking at Quinn, studying her mostly. She couldn't believe there used to be two of her. She couldn't believe Quinn had gone through losing a twin sister. A sister she never even mentioned anymore. It was unbelievable to the brunette. It took all of Rachel's will power to not ask about the other Fabray. She knew it wasn't time for that conversation though.

"Rachel? Hello?" Rachel snapped out of it to see Quinn waving her hand in front of her face.

"Sorry, baby, I got lost in thought."

"That's ok. Anything interesting going on in that pretty head of yours?" Quinn asked popping the last nugget into her mouth.

"I'm just thinking about this weekend and about how much I'm looking forward to it." Rachel said.

"Really?" Quinn asked, quirking her eyebrow.

"Yes, really. I can't wait." Rachel said and leaned in to give Quinn a kiss. "It's going to be amazing."


	39. Chapter 39

Rachel had decided that from the time school ended until the time they met at the hotel that the girls shouldn't be together. It made Quinn roll her eyes but she didn't mind. It would give her time to go shopping for a few things. She had asked Santana to tag along with her to the mall. They were in Victoria Secret and the Latina was driving Quinn insane.

"Why don't you get this? It's very sexy." Santana help up the sluttiest bra and thong the store owned.

"Because I wouldn't be comfortable in that and Rachel wouldn't like it. Look, it barely covers anything at all."

"You're going to be having sex! It's not like it's going to be on your body for long." Santana half yelled at the blonde.

"Keep your voice down!" Quinn pleaded. "I just want something I would like, Rachel would like and that I won't look like a whale in."

"Quinn, you're pregnant. It's ok to look pregnant. Besides you're still insanely tiny." Santana rolled her eyes and walked over to another section.

Quinn knew that Rachel didn't see her as fat and thought she was beautiful but Quinn wanted to feel beautiful as well.

"How about this? It's yellow which is good since Rachel is obsessed with stars and it's a nice bra that will cover you nicely and the panties aren't a thong. I think it's perfect." Santana held up the underwear to show Quinn.

"I like that. I'm going to go try it on." Quinn grabbed the clothes and headed into the changing rooms. She turned around to see Santana following her. "You're not coming in with me."

"No but I will wait right here so I can see how it looks to make sure you look hot." Santana sat down in a chair outside the changing rooms. Quinn quickly removed her clothing bar her underwear because she wasn't going to try on store underwear without a barrier. The underwear seemed to fit ok. She then put on the bra, adjusted it and opened the door just a little to invite Santana in.

"It is ok?" Quinn asked shyly.

"You look hot, Q. Berry is gonna love it."

"Ok good. Now get out so I can change back into my clothes."

"Seriously? Do you know how many times I've seen you naked?" Santana asked and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Out!" Quinn demanded. The Latina rolled her eyes and stepped out of the dressing room.

Quinn looked in the mirror one last time and then took the yellow underwear off and put her clothing back on. The girls paid for the underwear set and went and got a pretzel (Quinn had a craving) before leaving the mall. Quinn put her new bra and panties into her overnight bag that was already in the car and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Where to now?" Santana asked.

"The flower shop and then the candle factory." Quinn answered while she was texting Rachel to see what she was up to. Quinn had already told the brunette that she wasn't allowed to go to the hotel until 7 because Quinn had planned to make everything special for her. Rachel answered the text saying she was practicing some numbers for glee club.

"I can't wait until you have that baby so I don't have to drive you around anymore." Santana rolled her eyes as she pulled out into the not-so-busy streets of Lima.

"Oh admit it San, you love spending time with me. It's the highlight of your life." Quinn smiled then grabbed on to the side handle for dear life when Santana all of a sudden decided to turn. "Hello! Pregnant here!"

"You're alive aren't you?" Santana snapped back. "Besides chill out, we're here. What kind of flowers are you getting?"

"Roses and lilies. I love roses and Rachel love lilies." Quinn slowly got herself out of the car and walked into the shop. "Hi. I would like to buy two dozen roses and a dozen lilies please." Quinn asked Max the woman who owned the shop. "Do you sell any chocolate covered strawberries or candy?"

"We have both actually." Max answered while she was busy gathering Quinn's order.

"Can I have a dozen chocolate covered strawberries then please?" Quinn smiled.

"So you're going to get to the hotel early and light candles and spread rose petals and place lilies all over the room?" The Latina asked.

"That's the plan."

"So you're going to try and do pretty much every cliché for a girl's first time I see?" Santana laughed.

"I'm trying. I want it to be special, ya know? It's something you never get to do over." Quinn leaned down to smell a tulip that was on display.

"Do you regret your first time? That it was with me?" Santana asked turning serious for a second.

"I don't regret it being with you at all. I promise you, San. I couldn't ask for it to be with anyone better than my best friend. Just because we didn't end up together doesn't mean that I regret it being with you. Come here you big softie." Quinn smiled and pulled Santana into a hug. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too, Q." Santana pulled away. "Now we are done with the sweet and sappy crap."

"Quinn, your flowers and strawberries are ready. You're total comes to $58.32."

"Thanks, Max. You're amazing. Keep the change. Have a great day." Quinn smiled and handed the florist $65. She carefully picked up the bag with her goodies in it.

"You guys too. Santana, tell your mom I said hi."

"Will do." Santana waved her hand and the girls walked out the door. "Candle factory now?"

"Yes please. We need to hurry though. I need at least an hour to get everything set up." Quinn placed the bag into the backseat and slowly lowered herself into the car. It was getting more difficult for her every day.

"You might want to buckle up." Santana grinned.

"Wait wha-?" Quinn couldn't even finish her sentence before Santana peeled out of the parking lot causing Quinn to let out a small scream.

"You said to hurry." Santana smirked before pulling into the parking lot for the candle factory. "Which is pretty easy seeing as it's down the street."

"You're so not funny."

"Let's get this over with." Santana led the girls to the entrance.

"It shouldn't take long. We are just getting vanilla scented candles." Quinn quickly picked up a few tall and a few short cream colored candles. "Let's go."

Quinn paid and the girls got back into the car.

"To the hotel now?" Santana asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for driving me around today, S. I really appreciate it."

"It's not a problem at all. So are you nervous?"

"No, not really. I'm mostly nervous that she won't enjoy it or I'll hut her. I'm not as nervous about the sex though I guess. We love each other so I know it'll be good." Quinn's mind was racing a little more than she was letting on but she meant what she was saying.

"I'm really happy for you, Q. I wish you all the best tonight. You deserve to be happy." Santana said as she slowed in front of the hotel.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you sometime tomorrow." Quinn grabbed her overnight bag as well as the bag with the flowers and the bad with the candles. "Bye." Quinn waved before turning around and walking through the front door of the hotel.


	40. Chapter 40

Rachel knew she shouldn't have lied to Quinn about practicing Glee songs, but she didn't want her to know what she was really doing.

"Are you ready?" Brittany asked.

"I'm nervous but I think so." Rachel answered, hands shaking slightly.

"You don't have to do this. It might be better for you to do with Quinn the first time. I'm not sure I feel right about this." Brittany answered.

"No, it's ok. I need to seem like I know what I'm doing. Like I've done this all before. So I need the first time to be with someone other than Quinn. Please Brittany? Do this with me?" Rachel pleaded with those ice blue eyes.

"Ok, I will do this with you. I'm not going to be able to protect you from Santana if she isn't ok with this though."

"Why wouldn't she be?" Rachel asked, suddenly very terrified.

"She's just very weird when it comes to sex. She shouldn't mind though. Alright, you ready?" Brittany asked one more time.

"Yeah, let's go." Rachel said and she stepped out of her car and faced the store front.

"The Velvet Box. I've never been to this sex shop. Usually we go to Condom Sense or just order stuff online." Brittany said. She walked ahead of Rachel and opened the door for the nervous brunette.

"I just wanted to look around. I doubt I'll get anything. I mean this is our first time." Rachel said as she passed a wall of multicolored dildos that looked like they would rip her in half.

"Yeah you guys will mostly just be enjoying each other, learning each other's bodies, what the other likes and dislikes." Brittany picked up some flavored body paint. "Although this might be nice. It's strawberry."

"I don't know. I don't even know what I'm looking for. Everything in here looks so painful. I don't even know how to do anything." Rachel said. She could feel herself getting tense while she looked at the row of bullets.

"Well how far have you guys gone? Maybe I can give you some advice." Brittany smiled. She was so hard to say no to because she was so genuinely sweet.

Rachel looked over at the sales woman. She seemed engrossed in her People Magazine. There were no other people in the shop. "I've done stuff to her, but she hasn't to me."

"Ok. So basically you already know what to do. You know how to use your fingers and tongue. Was she able to get there when you touched her?" Brittany picked up a whip and Rachel shuddered at the thought of what when on in Brittany and Santana's sex life.

"Yeah she did. It's been a while though. What if I can't remember how to do it right? What if her hormones make her like something different now?" Rachel couldn't believe how nervous she was about this. It was just Quinn. She loved her and knew somewhere in the back of her mind that everything would be ok but that part was apparently hiding right now.

"Rachel, you need to calm down. Humans are built and wired for sex. You will know what you're doing once you guys begin. It's all instinct. Touch her somewhere and see how she reacts. If she moans and squirms, chances are, she likes that. She may tell you when she likes something. Listen to her breathing and the sounds she makes. You aren't going to hurt her. In theory she should get wet enough for you to do whatever she wants." Brittany answered. A little louder than Rachel would've liked but the sales lady didn't seem to care.

"How many fingers do I use?" Rachel asked. She was now looking at bras and panties. She had picked up a hot pink set she liked.

"Start with one. Ask if she wants more after a bit. If she says yes, then careful put another one in but don't force it. If she says stop and it's too much, listen to her. I doubt she can fit more than two. Although I don't know if being pregnant affects any of that."

"Ok. What if I'm not as good as Santana?" Rachel asked quietly. It was the biggest fear she had. She was nervous as hell about everything but that was the one thing that kept going through her mind.

"It won't matter because she loves you. It will be great no matter what. I know they have a history and all of that but Quinn doesn't and never did love Santana as much as she loves you. Just relax tonight. Have fun. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You guys are in for a wonderful night." Brittany answered pulling Rachel into a hug.

"Thanks Brittany. You're really good at giving advice." Rachel pulled away.

"I try. I know a lot about sex I guess since Santana and I have so much. We do it in all types of places and positions with all types of toys." Brittany smiled.

"I don't need to know that but thanks." Rachel rolled her eyes and tried to get the new images out of her head. "I don't think I'm going to get anything here. It all seems a bit intimidating and advanced. Maybe it should just be us tonight."

"I agree. Come back together when you are both ready for this stuff. There is no rush for it."

The girls walked out of the shop and Rachel looked at her phone. "I still have an hour before I'm supposed to be at the hotel. What should we do until then?"

"Well what are you going to wear tonight?" Brittany asked.

"Clothes?" Rachel answered not entirely understanding the questions.

"I meant lingerie. Bra and panties?" Brittany laughed.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure. I was just going to wear what I have on but I guess that's not very romantic, huh?"

"Come on, we will go to Victoria's Secret."

A few minutes later, Rachel parked in the mall's parking lot. The girls walked through Macy's and into the mall area. They walked past a few stores before reaching their destination. Rachel was overwhelmed by the amount of scandalous outfits there were.

"Where do we start?" Rachel asked.

"Over here. Come on." Brittany led Rachel over to the more simple sets of bras and panties. "What color do you think you might like?"

"Pink." Rachel answered remember the set she had picked up at the sex shop.

"Hot, pale, in the middle?" Brittany asked.

"Hot pink." Rachel answered.

"Ok how about this one?" Brittany help up a rather simple set.

"Too simple. Maybe something with a little bit of lace but not see through." Rachel blushed as she said it.

"Ok, I know just the one." Brittany wound her way through the racks and picked up a perfect set. It was normal material but with lace accents.

"That's perfect!" Rachel smiled and walked over to the blonde. She quickly picked out her size and went to the changing rooms. She put the new set on over her other bra and panties not really knowing the rules but she didn't want to do something wrong.

"Let me see." Brittany bounced around outside the changing rooms.

"Ok, ok come in." Rachel answered feeling very self conscious about her body and scars.

"I love it!" Brittany actually yelled when she came in.

"You think it fits me ok?" Rachel looked in the mirror.

"It fits you perfectly. You're getting it." Brittany clapped and walked out of the room so Rachel could put her clothes back on.

They quickly paid the cashier and walked out of the store. They decided to go back to Brittany's house so Rachel could change into what she was going to where tonight. Rachel had decided on her dark jeans, black tank top and black boots. She knew Quinn thought she looked sexy in that outfit. Now she even had new lingerie to add to it.

She changed quickly and walked out of the bathroom, shocked to see Santana sitting on the bed with Brittany.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"I dropped her off at the hotel about 40 minutes ago. Damn you look hot. She is going to rip your clothes off so fast." Santana smiled.

Rachel felt her entire face and neck blush. "Can one of you do my makeup?" Her hair was still done from earlier but her makeup had mostly worn off.

"I'll do it." Santana volunteered. "Sit down."

It only took Santana a few minutes to apply the makeup. Rachel turned around to look in the mirror and was pleasantly surprised. She had smoky eyes and red lips. She still looked like herself though.

"You're good." Rachel smiled.

"I know." Santana smirked.

"You better get going or you're going to be late." Brittany said.

"Shit what time is it?" Rachel panicked.

"You have about 10 minutes." Santana answered.

"Ok I gotta go. Thank you both so much for all your help today. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night." Rachel said as she rushed out of the room and into her car. She tore across town to the hotel. She felt her heart start beating like crazy as she pulled into the parking lot. Quinn had texted her earlier telling her to go to the front desk for her key to the room.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry. Quinn Fabray left me a key?" Rachel asked the man at the front desk.

"Of course Ms. Berry. Here you are. Room 213. Enjoy your stay."

"Thanks." Rachel said and headed off towards the elevator. Her hands were actually shaking now. Her heart was pounding. She couldn't believe she was going to have sex for the first time. She got to the second floor and walked down the hallway. She paused for a second outside room 213 before taking a breath and opening the door.


	41. Chapter 41

The butterflies in Quinn's stomach turned into pterodactyls the second she heard Rachel's key in the door. Quinn was at a loss for words when her girlfriend walked in. She looked hot! She felt her breath hitch. Quinn watched as Rachel took in the room. Quinn had placed the lit candles around the room. The bed was covered in rose petals and the lilies were placed on different surfaces. Rachel smiled, clearly at a loss for words. She then looked at Quinn and the blonde could see the want in Rachel's eyes. Quinn was lying on the bed in the yellow 'gold star' bra and panties she had bought earlier that day. Quinn didn't even feel self conscious about her ever growing stomach.

"Quinn, I don't even know what to say. This is all beautiful. You're beautiful." Rachel slowly walked over the bed and sat down next to the mom to be.

"So are you." Quinn smiled and leaned up to kiss her girl. "I'm feeling a bit underdressed and I think you should join me."

Rachel stood up and went to bolt the hotel door shut. She quickly took off her shoes, jeans and top. She was wearing a hot pink bra and panties and it turned Quinn on even more. Rachel returned to the bed and Quinn pulled her in for a deep kiss and the girls fell to their sides, neither really on the other due to Quinn belly.

Their kisses started out sweet, almost innocent. There even some giggles from the girls as they both knew what was about to happen. It didn't take long for their kisses to deepen though. Quinn was the one who advanced them by tugging on Rachel's bottom lip with her teeth. Rachel opened her mouth and Quinn stuck her tongue in. The blonde knew that alone was enough to drive the brunette insane. Rachel massaged Quinn's tongue with her own for a moment before Quinn quickly pulled away.

"What? What's wrong?" Rachel sat up immediately. "Is it my little Kiwi? Is she ok?"

"She's fine, Rachel." Quinn couldn't help but laugh at Rachel's concern. "I just wanted to make sure you're ok with this before we go too far. I mean like really ok. This is your virginity. You can't ever get it back."

"I've never wanted anything more, Quinn." Rachel smiled before leaning back into Quinn, lips crashing in hers.

This time their kisses escalated much quicker. It was like they couldn't get enough of each other. Rachel pushed Quinn back down onto the bed and climbed on top of her. She straddled her and as she did, she could feel the heat radiating out of the blonde. Rachel couldn't help it and the next thing she knew, she was grinding into her girlfriend. Quinn moaned. Loud. Rachel could feel herself instantly soaked. Rachel couldn't take the clothes that were in her way anymore. She quickly tore off Quinn's panties and had the blonde sit up so she could remove her bra as well.

Quinn took this opportunity to flip the girls. Rachel let out a yelp of surprise.

"This is your first time. Therefore, I'm going to pleasure you first." Quinn's eyes had darkened in her arousal. Rachel knew better than to test her so she conceded quickly.

Quinn wasted no time removing Rachel's unnecessary articles of clothing. She crashed their lips together again before quickly moving down and going to work on the brunettes neck. She sucked and nipped. Rachel was squirming underneath her and it was working her up more and more every second. Quinn couldn't help but grind again Rachel's thigh as she sucked. It was hard to tell who was moaning louder and Quinn knew they were giving the neighbors something interesting to listen to. After Quinn had successfully purpled Rachel's neck, she moved onto her nipples. Quinn knew from experience that Rachel's nipples were particularly sensitive. Quinn used her tongue on one while teasing the other one with her hand. When she knew the diva had more than she could take, Quinn continued her kisses downward. She slowly traced her fingers up and down the insides of Rachel's thighs.

"Quinn, please." Rachel begged. Quinn had her exactly where she wanted.

"What baby?" Quinn asked innocently, barely tracing her fingers around where Rachel wanted it most.

"Touch me." Rachel almost yelled. She was so worked up.

Quinn knew it wasn't fair to torture the poor girl on her first time so Quinn gladly obliged. She dipped her index finger into Rachel's fold and what she felt almost made her come herself. Rachel was dripping. She ran her fingers back and forth for a moment, making sure they were fully lubricated before moving up to Rachel's clit. As soon as Quinn applied pressure, Rachel bucked. She moaned Quinn's name. The blonde continued to rub circles on Rachel's clit, getting her as worked up as humanly possible. One she knew that Rachel was close, she quickly pulled her fingers away.

"NO!" Rachel yelled. "Please go back, I was so close. Please baby."

Quinn ignored her girlfriend. She only smirked. She caught Rachel's eyes and almost laughed at the pleading in them. She sucked her index finger before entering it into the brunette.

"Oh fuck!" Rachel exclaimed, hips bucking wildly now.

Quinn started out slowly. Rachel was very tight and she didn't want to hurt her. She thrust in and out with one finger, curling it every once in a while. Rachel was about to lose it.

"Want more baby? I don't want to hurt you." Quinn asked.

"Yes, more, more is good." Rachel said between moans. Quinn smiled and took this as a good sign before speeding her finger up. In and Out. In and Out. Faster and faster. "Oh god, oh my god." Rachel was chanting.

"You getting close baby?" Quinn asked.

"So close. God, I'm so close Quinn. Please don't stop." Rachel begged. Quinn went harder and faster until she could feel her girlfriend coming undone.

"Oh fuck!" Rachel yelled as her orgasm hit her. Her walls clamped down on Quinn, spasms running through her entire body. Quinn just watched her. It was beautiful.

Once the brunette was able to calm down a bit, Quinn crawled up to her and kissed her lips hard.

"Wow." Rachel said. "Tell me again why I didn't want to do that before?"

Quinn laughed at her girl and kissed her again before laying her head on her chest. Rachel started playing with her hair.

"So you enjoyed yourself baby?" Quinn asked, already knowing the answer.

"Mmhmm." Rachel responded. "But now it's your turn." Rachel said.

"Tonight was about you, Rach." Quinn said back.

"I know. That doesn't mean I can't make you feel good too though."

"Well I'm certainly not going to stop you, but just know that I don't expect it." Quinn looked up and kissed Rachel again.

Rachel quickly deepened the kiss, shoving her tongue into the blonde's mouth. She reached her hand around Quinn's stomach and quickly ran her fingers through Quinn's soaking lips.

"Damn." Quinn panted. "You don't waste any time."

"I just want you." Rachel said back, moving her fingers to the blonde's clit.

"Ok." Quinn moaned. She wasn't entirely paying attention to what Rachel was saying. She was way more interested in what Rachel was doing.

Rachel spent a bit of time teasing Quinn's clit, quickly driving her insane. Without another word, Rachel shoved 2 fingers into the ex-leader. Quinn was panting hard on top of Rachel. The brunette's arm burned but she wasn't going to stop. She thrust hard and fast into her girlfriend.

"God, Rachel. I'm so close baby." Quinn moaned, barely forming words.

"Come for me baby." Rachel said. With those words, Quinn came undone, yelling in ecstasy. Rachel continued to thrust throughout all of Quinn's orgasm.

When Quinn was finally able to catch her breathe again, Rachel pulled her fingers out and sucked them clean. The girls kissed again before Quinn collapsed completely on Rachel.

"You ok, baby?" Rachel asked, half laughing.

"Shut up." Quinn said back. She was still panting a bit.

The girls were quiet for a few minutes, both reflecting on what had just happened. Rachel couldn't believe she was no longer a virgin. She couldn't believe that she had lost her virginity to Quinn Fabray of all people. She had never been happier. She looked at the scars on her wrists, barely visible in the candle light. Cutting is what had started their relationship. Quinn finding out Rachel had been cutting to be more specific.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"Mmhmm?" Quinn answered, sleepiness in her voice.

"I'm sorry about the cutting." Rachel said.

"That's ok baby." Quinn said. She wasn't really listening. She was getting sleepier by the minute.

"Do you want to go to sleep, baby?" Rachel asked.

"I'm awake." Quinn answered.

"Sleep baby girl. I love you so much." Rachel kissed the top of Quinn's head.

"Love you too." Quinn mumbled.

The rest of the girl's evening was spent alternating between sleep and sex. They were exhausted but couldn't get enough of each other. They only stopped when they needed energy from food. The rest of the world seemed to melt away and all that mattered was each other. They knew the rest of the world was out there but it didn't matter to them. It would still be there in a couple days


	42. Chapter 42

Just you and I defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity.

Rachel groggily felt around for her phone. Her hands grasped it and she pushed 'talk.'

"Yeah?" She asked. Her brain was slowly beginning to wake up.

"Rachel? I just….I don't know what to do." A panicked voice said on the other side of the phone.

"Brittany? What's wrong?" Rachel sat up immediately. The brunette's sudden movement woke up the naked blonde next to her.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked. Rachel shushed her with her hands.

"Brittany, talk to me." Rachel tried again. All she could hear was sobbing on the other end.

"What's wrong with Brittany?" Quinn asked.

"She's crying," Rachel mouthed.

Quinn took the phone out of Rachel's hand.

"Hey!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Shhh!" Quinn said. "Brittany, calm down, what's wrong?"

"San-San-San." Was all Brittany could repeat.

"What happened to Santana? Is she ok?" Quinn began to panic.

"What's wrong with Santana?" Rachel asked.

"Shh." Quinn said again, this time waving her arm. "Brittany where's Santana?"

"I don't know. She-she broke up with me." Brittany broke into sobs again once the words were out of her mouth.

"Did she say why?" Quinn asked.

"Why what?" Rachel asked.

"Santana broke up with her." Quinn said.

"What?" Rachel asked before grabbing the phone back once again. "Brittany, where are you?"

"Ducks." Was all Brittany said.

"We will be right there." Rachel said and she hung up the phone. "She's at the pond with the ducks." Rachel immediately got out of bed before realizing she was naked.

"Damn, you're sexy." Quinn said grinning at the woman in front of her.

"Right." Rachel sat back down and kissed her girlfriend. "So last night was-"

"Amazing." Quinn finished. She kissed Rachel again. "We really should go see Brittany."

"Mmhmm." Rachel said, deeping the kiss between them.

They fell back into the bed, kissing each other. Their tongues beginning the battle they both knew so well. Hands everywhere, the girls moaned and melted into each other. It surprised Rachel how much she needed Quinn. She needed to be touching her, tasting her, just being with her. Rachel slid down Quinn's body, kissing her as she went. She reached Quinn's lower lips and quickly latched onto her clit. She sucked hard, flicking her most sensitive spot with her tongue.

"Fuck." Quinn yelled. She bucked her hips, trying to get closer to Rachel's tongue. She loved that tongue.

Rachel continued with her tongue, twisting and turning in ways she knew would drive the blonde insane. She took a second break, to suck on her fingers, making sure they were extra lubricated before entering her girl. Quinn couldn't even speak anymore, she was in such ecstasy. Rachel thrust in and out, never stopping the movements with her tongue. It didn't take long before Quinn was tumbling over that edge. Her walls clinched down hard on Rachel's fingers. The brunette didn't stop thrusting though, sending Quinn over the edge once more.

"No more." Quinn begged. She was sore and her body was tired. She couldn't handle another orgasm at the moment. She needed a break.

"Ok baby." Rachel sucked her fingers clean before climbing back up the bed to lay with her girl.

The girls laid there for a moment before remember Brittany. They quickly got dressed, Rachel complaining about how sore she was the whole time. Before they knew it, they were at the park. Brittany ran into their arms, still crying.

"Brittany, honey, calm down. Tell us what happened." Quinn said, stroking the other blonde's hair. After a few minutes, Brittany calmed down enough to talk.

"I don't know what I did wrong. We were fine last night, joking around about you two having sex. She went home at like 2 in the morning. She called me this morning and broke up with me. She just said she couldn't be with me anymore." Brittany managed to remain calm through the story, but tears were still slowly falling.

Quinn quickly pulled out her phone and hit Santana's name. After 2 rings, the Latina picked up.

"What?" She asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you break up with B?" Quinn demanded.

"Shut up, Q, you don't know what you're talking about." Santana fired back.

"Really? I don't? I'm sitting here with Brittany right now. Remember her? You're girlfriend!" Quinn had switched into HBIC mode.

"Shut up, Quinn." Santana snapped.

"What the hell happened, Santana?" Quinn yelled once again.

"I just couldn't be with her anymore, ok?" Santana said, a tad calmer now.

Quinn decided to walk away from Rachel and Brittany to see if you could get the truth out of her friend.

"S, what happened? Why did you break up with her?" Quinn asked, sweeter this time.

"I'm not good enough for her, ok? She deserves someone better than me." Santana said, quietly.

"And you just came to this conclusion in between seeing Brittany at night and calling her the next morning?" Quinn asked. She looked over at Rachel and Brittany and saw that they were feeding the ducks.

"Yeah, I guess so." Santana answered.

"I call bullshit. You love her."

"Yeah, I do, but I just can't." Santana said.

"Santana." Quinn said.

"Q, just drop it ok? We are done. It's over. Let it go." Santana said before hanging up.

Quinn looked at the phone before putting it back in her pocket. She walked back over to the girls.

"Everything ok?" Rachel asked.

"Um, I'm not sure honestly. Santana was really defensive but she didn't really have a reason for dumping Brittany. I don't know what it is, but I think something bigger is going on. I'll talk to her and see if I can get it out of her tomorrow." Quinn grabbed a handful of bread pieces and walked over to Brittany. She tossed the pieces into the lake, and Brittany laughed at the birds as they dove down to catch the bread.

"Well at least she is laughing," Rachel whispered in Quinn's ear.

"Yeah." Quinn said.

The girls stayed at the lake until the need for food pulled them away. They took Brittany out to lunch to try and cheer her up. It didn't work as well as Rachel and Quinn had hoped. Brittany was sad, heartbroken and a simple meal wasn't going to fix that.


	43. Chapter 43

Quinn left Brittany with Rachel so she could go over and talk to Santana. Something wasn't right and Quinn needed to know what. She didn't even bother knocking on the door before walking in and up the stairs in the Lopez home. She walked right into Santana's bedroom.

"Hey S." Quinn said. She took in the scene in front of her. Santana was in bed, covers up to her chin. Her hair was a complete disaster. Her tan skin was red from crying. The only color other than red on her face was the very dark circle around her eye. There were tissues all over the bed and floor and 3 empty tissue boxes strewn throughout the room.

"What are you doing here Q? Santana asked.

"I came to make sure you were ok. You broke up with the woman you love more than anything on this planet. Something isn't right. So I'm going to ask you yet again. What happened?" Quinn asked. She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing." Santana said.

"Cut the bullshit, Santana." Quinn stood back up. "I'm not playing games with you right now. Brittany is broken and so are you. Why are you lying to me?" Santana was silent. "Get up." Quinn demanded before ripping the comforter off her friend.

"Stop it, Lucy!" Santana demanded, using Quinn's real first name.

"I know what you're doing but calling me Lucy isn't going to work this time."

"Lucy Caboosey! Lucy Caboosey!" Santana chanted.

"You sound like a 5 year old. Now stop it and tell me what's going on." Quinn demanded. She didn't have time to be hurt by her childhood nickname.

"Why don't you go fuck Berry and leave me the hell alone." Santana growled.

"No, I'm not leaving you alone. And do you seriously think you telling me to go have sex with the woman I love is an insult or something? What happened, S?" Quinn had every intention of fighting back against anything that came out of her friend's mouth.

"Let it go, Quinn." Santana said before reaching out to grab the comforter.

That's when Quinn saw the bright red cuts on the Latina's wrists. Quinn quickly grabbed the left one.

"Why did you cut yourself, Santana? After everything we've been through with Rachel. Why did you start this again." Quinn asked. She couldn't deal with another person she loved cutting again. "I thought you said you stopped."

"I didn't cut. My cat scratched me." Santana jerked her wrist back from the blonde and turned her back to her friend.

"You don't have a cat." Quinn snapped back.

"It was Lord Tubbington." Santana said.

"He's declawed." Quinn quickly retorted.

"Just forget about it Q! Ok? Just leave me the fuck alone!" Santana yelled. She ripped open her bedroom door and stormed down the stairs.

The blonde wasn't far behind her. "Santana, stop! Just fucking stop." Quinn demanded. She tripped and tumbled the last few steps before coming to a halt on her side. "Fuck!" Quinn yelled as she hit the bottom.

"Quinn!" Santana turned around and ran back to her friend. "Are you ok? Is the baby ok?"

"I'm ok, I'm ok. She's ok. I can feel her moving around." Quinn took the hand that Santana had reached out and pulled herself to her feet.

"Are you sure? Do I need to take you to the hospital?" Santana asked. Quinn could hear the fear in the cheerleader's voice.

"Santana, I'm fine. I swear to you. It was only a couple of stairs. Now please, just talk to me." Quinn walked over to the couch. She needed to sit down. Her side was hurting from where she had landed.

"Quinn, I just…can't. I'm sorry. I can't tell you what happened. I'm ashamed." Santana sat down next to Quinn and put her head in her hands.

"Did you cheat on Brittany? Is that what happened last night?" Quinn started rubbing Santana's back, trying to get her to calm down.

"No." Santana broke. Tears began to pour down her face. "I didn't cheat on her." Sobs echoed throughout the room.

"Ok, Santana. Ok." Quinn pulled her friend into a hug. "I've got you. You're ok."

"I'm not ok Quinn. Why me? Why did this happen to me?" Santana sobbed, barely audible. It was very hard for Quinn to make out the words Santana was crying.

"What happened to you? What are you talking about? Santana you need to tell me what's going on. Did someone hurt you? Is that where the black eye came from?" Quinn asked.

"Please, Quinn. Please leave me alone." Santana begged. She pushed Quinn away before running back up the stairs. Quinn could still hear the sobs until Santana slammed the door behind her.

Quinn sat on the couch for a few minutes debating what to do next. She knew Santana well enough to leave her alone for a while. She took a deep breath before getting up and walking out the front door.


	44. Chapter 44

Rachel was enjoying hanging out with Brittany but she was happy when Quinn got home.

"Is she ok?" Brittany asked as soon as Quinn walked into the bedroom.

"I think so. I'm not entirely sure. Rachel, can I talk to you in the hallway?" Quinn asked. She walked out of the bedroom before Rachel could even give an answer. She had no choice but to follow.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked. Quinn was acting funny.

"Something bad happened to her. She has a black eye and kept asking why this happened to her." Quinn said, leaning against the wall.

"Did she say what it was?" Rachel asked.

"No. I have a bad feeling it was rape or she was beat up by someone." Quinn said.

"Why do you think that?" Rachel asked. She couldn't imagine the bitchy Latina being taken advantage of.

"It's just the way she was acting, plus the fact that she broke up with Brittany. I hope I'm wrong but I'm scared I'm not. She cut again too. Both wrists are covered in angry red cuts."

"Damn." Rachel replied. She hated knowing that Santana had cut again, let alone whatever had happened to her. She was a bitch, sure, but she didn't deserve this. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"She isn't going to talk to you." Quinn said back.

"She might, you never know. I'll be back in a little bit. I love you." Rachel quickly kissed her girlfriend before heading down the stairs, out the door and over to Santana's. She didn't even bother knocking on the door. She walked right into the house and straight to Santana's bedroom. She walked in.

"You're cutting again?" Rachel demanded. Santana was lying in bed, clearly she had been crying.

"What do you think you're doing, hobbit?" Santana asked, anger filling her voice. "Why won't you people just leave me the fuck alone?"

"We love you, Santana. Something happened to you last night. We just want to help you. Please talk to me. I'm not going to judge you. I promise you. You need to talk to someone though because if you don't, your cutting is just going to get bad again." Rachel sat down on the bed and looked at the distraught woman in front of her.

"I don't want to." Santana answered.

"Santana, please?" Rachel all but begged.

"Fine." Santana said. "I got home around 2 am last night. When I walked in the door, my mom started yelling at me about being out at Brittany's so late. I have no idea why she is starting to care now but whatever. I got mad at stormed out. I decided I would take a walk around the block to try and calm down. I didn't make it very far before I ran into a couple of guys. They started hitting on me and I told them to go away and kept on walking." Santana paused, tears welling up in her eyes again.

Rachel tensed. She didn't want to hear what was coming next but she knew she needed to.

"One of them grabbed me by my hair and pulled me in between the houses. It was dark so no one could see me. I could barely see them. One of them punched me in the eye and the other one punched me in the stomach. Before I knew it, one of them threw me down on the ground, grabbed me by the throat and started choking me. I don't know how long he was choking me but I passed out. I woke up a few hours later. My jeans and shirt were ripped. I had a horrible headache and my whole body ached." Santana finished, tears pouring down her face now.

"Did they, um, did they rape you?" Rachel asked, her own eyes full of tears.

"I don't know. I think so but I don't know. I'm not torn down there but it's all sore. They could've just kicked me so I don't know." Santana said.

"Why didn't you go to the hospital this morning?" Rachel asked. "They could've done a rape kit. They would've figured out if you were raped and they could've gotten the DNA of the guy who did it." Rachel asked.

"I just wanted to come home and shower and forget it ever happened. I don't want to report it or do anything. I had never seen those guys before so it's not like I know them and can point them out." Santana said quickly.

"Santana, you need to tell someone." Rachel pleaded.

"No. I'm not going to. I told you. That's it." Santana stood up in anger and started pacing the room.

"Ok, you don't have to tell the police, but will you at least go back to your therapist and talk to her about all of this? I know you and I know you don't want to get back to that place of cutting."

"No I don't." Santana admitted, still pacing.

"I don't understand about what happened to you, but I do understand the cutting. Please go talk to the therapist." Rachel said. She saw the look on Santana's face and she knew she was reaching her.

"Can you go now? I just really want to be alone." Santana asked.

"Yeah, I'll go. Call us if you need anything." Rachel said. She stood up, patted the other girl on the shoulder and walked out. She checked her phone when she got in the car. She had 4 missed calls from Quinn. She immediately called her back, knowing something had to be wrong. She answered after only 1 ring.

"Quinn? What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"My water broke." Quinn answered, fear in her voice.

"I'm on my way."

—————————————————————

13 years later

"Mommy! Jacob is being mean to me!" Rachel woke up with a start. She looked over in the bed and saw Quinn's sleepy face waking up to.

"Explain to me again why we decided to have kids?" Quinn asked.

"I'm going. Go back to sleep, baby." Rachel leaned over and kissed her wife and headed out into the hallway.

Their 2 youngest children were sitting in the living room, arguing over who got to play with what toy. The boy was a small, 5 year old child. He had blonde hair like Quinn. The girl was 7, her hair deep brown like Rachel's.

"What are you 2 fighting about now?" Rachel demanded of her children.

"Jake took my toy! I was playing with it and he just took it out of my hands." Erin said. She put her hands on her hips and Rachel couldn't help but smile at the child who looked at acted so much like her.

"Jacob James, did you take that toy from your sister?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, but I wanted to play with it." Jake answered.

"You know the rules, if she was playing with it first, you do not take it from her. Now give it back." Rachel demanded of her small children. Jacob handed the toy back. "What do you say?" Rachel asked.

"I'm sorry, Erin." Jake said.

"Good. Now, Erin, you know better than to not share with your brother. I wasn't out here but I know you are bad about sharing when he asks. So make sure you share. Do you understand me?" Rachel asked. Erin nodded. "Good. Now behave while I go wake up your mom for breakfast."

Rachel walked back into their bedroom. Quinn was laying there still awake. "Are they ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. Jake took a toy from Erin. You know, the usually Saturday stuff." Rachel said.

"Of course." Quinn laughed. "How about I make breakfast and you go wake up Beth."

"Ok baby." Rachel walked over and kissed her wife once again before heading to their oldest daughters room. She knocked once before opening the door. "Kiwi, it's time to wake up sweetheart." A mess of blonde hair stuck out from underneath the blankets.

"I don't want to." Beth said back. "And do you seriously have to keep calling me Kiwi? I'm 13 years old for God's sake."

"I've called you Kiwi since you were in your mom's stomach. I will call you that for the rest of my life." Rachel smiled and sat down on her daughter's bed. "Now wake up. Your mom is making breakfast. I think we have bacon." That worked. Beth quickly sat up. "That's my girl!"

"Whatever." Beth said. "Mom, can I ask your something?"

"Of course. What's up." Rachel asked.

"Where did you get the scars on your wrists?"

"I was very unhappy when I was in high school. I had a bad habit of cutting myself. One time, I went to deep and ended up in the hospital. I'm better now though. You don't have to worry." Rachel smiled.

"Oh. Is that how Aunt Santana got to scars on her wrists too?" Beth asked.

Rachel thought for a second before decided she might as well tell the truth. "Yes. When Santana was 16, she was beat up by a couple of men one night and raped. She had a really hard time dealing with it. She tried to kill herself by cutting. She ended up in an institution for about a month. Once she got out, she was doing a lot better. She made up with your Aunt Brittany and they have been happy ever since. As far as I know, she hasn't cut in years. I haven't either." Rachel finished. She knew she probably told her daughter more than she should have but Rachel didn't want to lie about something so serious.

"What about mom? Has she ever cut?"

"I don't believe so." Rachel answered. "Your mom is very strong. Even when she was pregnant with you and got kicked out, she was so strong. I admire her."

"Is that why we only see Grandma Fabray every once in a while and we have never met her dad." Beth asked.

"What's with all the questions, sweetheart?" Rachel asked. It wasn't like Beth to be so curious.

"I'm just wondering. I'm already weird because I have 2 moms, but I also only have 2 grandpas I see on a regular basis. I just want to be like the other kids." Beth said.

"Beth Kristin Fabray. It doesn't matter if you have 2 moms, 2 dads or one of each. You and your brother and sister are very loved by the family you do have. Your mom's parents aren't the best people in the world. You know my parents love you 3 more than anything. Don't let the other kids ever tease you about being loved, ok?" Beth nodded. "Now come on, let's go eat some breakfast."

By the time they made it into the kitchen, the smell of bacon wafted in the air.

"Good morning, Beth." Quinn said. "How many pieces of your fake bacon do you want, Rach? I made 3 but I can make more."

"3 is perfect." Rachel answered. Quinn was always really good about making sure Rachel had vegan options. "Ok guys, come to the table please."

Their 3 children sat in their places around the table and Quinn distributed food. Rachel took a bit of her special bacon. It was delicious. "Thanks baby."

"Of course." Quinn said, taking a bite of her own breakfast. "Santana called last night after you went to bed. She wants to get together today to plan the details for the Disney trip this summer. We need to book everything soon. She thinks we will need 3 hotel rooms. She figured Beth and Heather could have their own room since they are the oldest kids. Then us with Erin and Jacob and them with Ben and Callie since the kids are too young to stay by themselves. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. What time are they coming over today? Or are we going there?" Rachel asked. "Hey, Jake, use your fork please." Rachel said to their son as he tried to pick up his eggs with his hands.

"They will be here in a couple of hours." Quinn answered.

"Cool." Rachel answered.

The 4 girls had all moved to New York after graduating from their various colleges. It had the most opportunities for them in the performing arts which is what Rachel and Brittany had gone into. Santana had become a lawyer so she could argue for a living and Quinn had become an elementary school teacher.

Rachel looked around the kitchen table at her beautiful wife and their 3 children. It was hard to believe there was a time in her life that she hated herself and the people around her. She was happy now. Her cutting was a thing of the past. For once in her life, she was happy and she couldn't ask for anything better.


End file.
